That, My Friends, Is an Inequality



Recently, I spouted off at the mouth.
Alright, I often spout off at the mouth.


When asked what kinda problems I had with “Republican bullshit,” I pointed to my dear friend, Beauty Queen, and said, “Oh, like her. She thinks that everyone needs a good reason to have an abortion.”




And that’s where this post is headed. I did tell you this was not a Nice Lady Blog. I did tell you I’m a bitch. 

I’ve got the feeling I need to post some sort of disclaimer about how this is not an all-inclusive post about any group. Obviously there are still some moderates in the world, and not all Republicans are the same, and not all men there, there’s my sorta disclaimer.  I’d like to think you’ve lived in the world and can relate, at least somewhat, to what I’m gonna write.

support women















How Pro-Choice am I?
I’m so Pro-Choice that I think a baby is a tumor until someone spanks it and gives it a name. 
Maybe not my babies, and maybe not yours, but for anyone that doesn’t want a child.

Before I carried my babies, I thought abortion should be legal, accessible, and affordable. 
Everyone who disagreed, including my dear friend, Beauty Queen, said that when I had babies of my own, I’d change my mind.

Are you fucking kidding me?
I’ve had trouble getting pregnant, I’ve had trouble staying pregnant, I’ve lost babies, and I’ve delivered two.
Now that I’ve experienced it all, I can say with great certainty that I still think abortion should be legal, accessible, and affordable. 

I know three women who considered abortion, and chose to keep the baby. They weren’t too sure at the beginning, but they all say they don’t regret their decision and that the baby was the best thing that ever happened to them.

I know more than three who’ve had abortions. They’ve told me the horrors of the procedure from the emotional crisis to the physical pain. If they regret it, they never say so.  What kinda skank-ass bitches am I hangin out with you might ask?



Shh let me tell you a little secret..they’re all MOTHERS. Most of them were MARRIED at the time.  They’re quiet about it, because not wanting a baby, even if it’s another baby, is a shame in our society.

How do I feel about it?
Like it’s not any of my business.

I’m not the one that would have to carry, hold, feed, diaper, clothe, soothe, train, teach, or inspire this possible human being.

Whenever the internet shows us an interview of a single woman with six babies, living in poverty, we all think the same thing: If she’s so poor, why does she have so many kids?
Some of us ask, “Where is the father?”

But the far right-wingers, they go further..

They’re upset because the household is on welfare, living in reduced cost housing, getting food stamps, right? And those poor babies! Their mother is a selfish whore, who never thought about how she was going to feed those poor babies.
She chose life.
Isn’t that what they wanted?
Yeah, no. 
What they want is for the ugliness and the reality of life not to interrupt them or upset them as they live their more fortunate life. They don’t want the poor people to have children they can’t feed, because their tax dollars will be used to feed them;  but not really, because they presume that the mother will use it to buy drugs, or alcohol, and not actually feed the children. They don’t want the mother to have free birth control, especially if it includes abortion, because once again, their tax dollars will be used for that. They don’t want their tax dollars used to pay for sex education, because that’s immoral, and telling people how not to get pregnant is the same thing as telling them to slut around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry they meet.


So let’s just say it how it really is. They want women to keep their legs closed, in and out of sperm banks, unless they’re straight, married, upper-class, highly-educated, social and fiscal conservatives? Is that right? Then those poor babies won’t exist and they’ll save all those tax dollars for more worthy causes, like war?
They really do put their tax dollars up there with their Jesus, don’t they?


And what do they want the men to do?

If we had no brains of our own, people would likely think that men are uncontrollable sex monsters who can’t bypass their urges. Where’s the training for men to not push the boundaries of “No?” Where’s the training for men to keep it in their pants and not slut it up with every Susie, Sally and Dot they meet? Where is the social scrutiny for men who didn’t use birth control?

Why isn’t anyone interviewing a man with six babies, living in poverty?
Why is it so rare?

Because men leave.  ALAWT.  

One can order many books on the subject..

One can order many books on the subject..

And that, my friends, is an inequality. 

The only way our society holds men accountable is with child support, which few states even enforce. 
I know ONE single mother of divorce who is not owed child support. ONE.
But the fathers, they come on the weekend, and they take the kids to the park, or to the zoo, or to their own mother’s for dinner, and they’re so great. Isn’t it wonderful how he’s stepped up to his responsibility like that?
We’ll talk about his responsibility when he’s the one who’s required to have a second bedroom, when he’s the one who cannot be without water and heat, when he’s the one who’s working to pay for health insurance, life insurance, and lunch money.
Oh, but if she’s poor, the state will pay for all that.
Oh, but if he’s supposed to pay her $420 each month, then she makes too much money to get any of that free state stuff.
Oh, but he’s $5600 in arrears? 
The state does not care. He could pay it all at once, and then the state would be wasting all those tax payer dollars on that kid, whose mother has money, when it really needs to focus on the kids who truly need it, like the woman with six kids in her one-room house.

Women are treated as mere biological entities, expected to carry and birth unplanned for children. Men are expected to pay for those children.

And that, my friends, is an inequality.

Since having carried, held, fed, diapered, clothed, soothed, trained, taught, and inspired my own, I still feel like abortion needs to be legal, accessible, and affordable.

I don’t actually know very many “planned for” children. I know a lot of “unplanned for, but wanted”  children.  I actually have one myself.  Moo came (in my opinion) a few years earlier than I wanted. Birth control is a wonderful thing, but it’s not 100%, human error or not. I sure thought birth control was very effective when I was out sluttin it up with every Tom, Dick and Harry I met, but as a married woman, it only took one failure to show me I didn’t have full control.
(Ironically, I felt the same way when I couldn’t get pregnant for three years.)

Have you seen a plant force its way through concrete? That’s what nature does. While we humans try to plant our trees far enough from the sidewalks and foundations, nature will always find a way.

Women need constant access to every viable birth control option to insure that every baby they birth is a wanted baby.  Women get caught, biologically. Men do not.

And that, my friends, is an inequality. 

It doesn’t matter if a woman had consensual unprotected sex or whether she was raped. Her age is insignificant. It doesn’t matter if she was sober, drunk, or drugged. It doesn’t matter if the father is her father, her husband, her coach, her boyfriend, or some guy she met hours ago. Her education is trivial. Her employment status is trivial. Her sexual orientation is trivial. It doesn’t matter if she’s rich or poor. It doesn’t matter what color she is. Her religion is inconsequential. It doesn’t matter if she thought she wanted to have a baby and changed her mind. Whether anyone else would adopt it is unimportant. It’s her body, and only she can determine how she wants to use it.

A woman only needs one reason to have an abortion: she does not want to be pregnant.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
This entry was posted in Random Musings and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to That, My Friends, Is an Inequality

  1. Tara O'Hara says:

    You have a remarkable way of putting into words that which needs to be said but which most shy away from saying. I agree 100% with what you wrote here. You are an amazing person and I love reading your opinions on things, even if I don’t always agree with them. 🙂


  2. gothhicgoddess says:

    I like the hell outta this.


  3. Tracey Neil says:

    I’ve never been one to let someone else make the decisions about my life or what I do with it. Even my most loved ones know I will take their opinion under advisement and then do what I think best for me. Abortion, though I’ve never had to choose that option, is my choice, not my husbands, my friends, my family, my doctor or my electoral body. Mine. I choose what’s best for me and I wouldn’t think to shove my opinion on someone who is choosing what is best for them.

    Awesome article on a topic that really is no ones business. Thank you


  4. healthiestbeauty says:

    Reblogged this on The healthiest beauty.


  5. *nods* I really did get you riled, eh?


  6. Sherry says:

    absolutely the best I’ve read. You rock. I’m posting this to my FB high school page. The one’s who should read it won’t. lol. You keep writing. Your ideas are valuable.


  7. Sherry says:

    I have a question. First your thinking is outstanding. But your addition of so many great photos just really makes your writing pop. Where do you get your material if I may ask. I do all mine from google images but frankly yours are so diverse, that I’m wondering if you have another source?


  8. Fuck, yes. To the 1000th degree.

    I am so fed up with no one discussing abortion from a sane point of view. Not everyone who gets an abortion is stupid or not paying attention or slutty. Some of us had other plans at the time — like getting an education. And/or we were broke. And/or the guy was Mr. Right Now, not anyone we had any wish to marry. So sick of normative law-making.


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