I am a nature geek. My mother is a nature geek, so I am, too.
But I hate yellow jackets.
I don’t mind spiders and snakes. I move most spiders outdoors. My rule is that if the spider has eyes big enough to stare at me, and it’s in my house, I hafta kill it.
Garden centipedes, house centipedes, all centipedes give me the willies. They must all die, and they must never, ever crawl across my hand while I toil in the soil.
Fire ants don’t live in Indiana, (yet) so I’m recovering nicely from their torturous bites.
But I fucking hate yellow jackets.
I grew up loving bees. Bees are magical creatures. Our life depends on them. And since I love being alive, eating fruits and vegetables, all things honey, and Winnie-the-Pooh, I’m sorta required to love bees.
But I fucking hate all the fucking yellow jackets.
I’m allergic, as you may remember from #17 here.
I developed this allergy. I didn’t have a reaction to bee stings until I was stung the third time. Note: the third time is not always the charm.
I spent years patiently waiting for bees to go away, telling children to be still, the bees don’t mean any harm.
I was clearly an irrational moron.
Now, to be fair, I am not afraid of the yellow jackets themselves. I am afraid of being stung. And more than afraid of being stung, I am afraid of having to have the shot, and even more than the shot itself, I’m afraid of administering the shot myself, and you probably can’t fathom that unless you’ve got Anxiety Disorder and have had a medically-induced panic attack from a shot of adrenaline.
Oh, hold me now.
When a yellow jacket enters my space, I immediately cry and make tiny squeaking noises, while breathlessly uttering, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!”
“No, bank teller, I don’t want my money anymore, because there’s A FUCKING BEE right outside my window!”
“That’s okay, Bee, I was finished with that soda I just opened.”
“Toddler, you go ahead and cross the street alone, Mama will stay here paralyzed by fear.”
Last week, one landed on my collar. I almost died. The Mister removed it.
Two days ago, one flew into my hair! I almost died. I turned my head upside down and waited for it to figure out I wasn’t a flower.
Last night, one perched on my back door. It was just waiting, way past its bedtime, for me to grab the door handle so it could sting me to death! The Mister pulled out a blade and stabbed that sumbitch.
They’re out to get me.
joeyfullystated 
Wuss.
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Totally.
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LOL, I just seriously had this episode yesterday, I tried to come in the house, yellow jacket RIGHT there….I was like ohmygodohmygodohmygod and Gregs like, what??? LIKE YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW BY NOW, WHAT!!!!!!
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*nods* OH the HORROR!
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I don’t blame you for hating them. Must be scary every time you see one. Here’s hoping you never again need that Epi pen!
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I’m that way about snakes. I have met one while in the desert…a rattler. I walked to Arizona around him. and then down to Texas and then came up east again. A birth of about 600 miles each way. I hate snakes.
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Terribly sorry. Snakes aren’t so seasonal, and they live everywhere!
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Medically induced panic attack because of an adrenaline shot? *raises hand* Ayep, from NOVOCAINE at the dentist. Now have to ask for the kind of shot without the adrenaline, which is part of the reason why I loathe to find a new dentist and have to explain to him/her why I can’t have regular novocaine. *sigh*
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Mmhm. I had one when I had a LEEP procedure, and it was a terrible way to start such a thing.
As for the dentist, I wouldn’t know, cause I take Ativan for dental procedures.
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I’ve never been stung, not by bee or wasp and hope I never am. My fear is snakes as you know, irrational, deep seated fear. I have been frozen in fear as my little 4 year old daughter merrily came rushing at me, a snake in her hand to show mom, hyperventilating and thinking I was going to pass out as thankfully snake owner grabbed her before she could come closer. I commiserate with you ❤
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❤
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