“Sweetcorn. Yes, sweetcorn.”
“Corn cob holders.”
“They’re called silks.”
“No, tassels come out the top.”
I was able to get my hands on some organic corn last week, and I was indignant at the lack of enthusiasm my children displayed. They were completely delighted about the fried chicken and the butter cake with chocolate icing, so I can only assume they’re typical.
“When will these girls transition into proper Hoosiers!?” I hollered at The Mister last night.
I’ve seen dozens of these posts about “You might be from…” lately. I tend to think they’re skewed by the writer’s perception, and many of them could be placed upon several states. Like, “Driving in winter makes the road smoother, because snow fills all the potholes,” is a sentence that could be any number of northern states.
I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it a thousand more — In Indiana, we do corn, basketball, and racin.
Here are my favorites of the “You might be from Indiana” bits, collected from handouts and emails and the interwebz. They are skewed by my perception.
- While driving, all you see is corn.
- You are proud to be called a Hoosier, even though no one knows exactly which definition is true.
- You say things like cattywampus and kitty-corner.
- To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.
- You think the state bird is Larry.
- The g in words ending in -ing is silent.
- You know someone who knows someone who knows John Mellencamp.
- You have to drive to Ohio to buy alcohol on Sunday.
- Your French is limited to pronouncing Terre Haute properly, because when it comes to The Fighting Irish, they’re from ‘Noter Dayme.’
- You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave them both unlocked.
- You know what “Knee-High by the Fourth of July” refers to.
- You can see at least two basketball hoops from your house.
- Getting caught by a train is a reasonable excuse for being late.
- You know what 4-H stands for.
- You end your sentences with unnecessary prepositions, like, “Where you at?” or “Lemme know if you’re goin, I’ll go with.”
- You always have jumper cables in your car, and your wife knows how to use them.
- You can say French Lick and Wanamaker without laughing, because there’s also a local university called Ball State.
- If you want someone to hear you, you holler at ’em.
- High school basketball games draw more crowds than the movie theaters on a Friday night.
- You measure distance in time.
~Tell me, what’s peculiar about your own little corner of the world?