Mother Knows Best

This morning, I woke up in the dark.
The Mister was not in bed.
Realizing I hadn’t set my alarm, I panicked.
I grabbed my phone.
Why didn’t he wake me?!?
I threw back the covers, raced down the hall to wake Moo.
I opened her door, turned on her light, and saw that she was not in her bed.
No, she slept in the living room.
That’s right.
Because it’s not a school night.
Because it’s fucking Saturday.

I’ve heard this happens to other people, just, until today, it had never happened to me.

When I posted my magic moment on Facebook, my mother commented, “Tee-hee. Won’t be the last time.”

That is SO concerning, cause you know that woman is always right.


When I was overzealous, cleaning my gas range, I picked up the still-blazing eye. When I called her crying, she sighed and said, “It won’t be the last time.”

When The Mister and I had our first fight and I yelled to her, “I’m so angry! I could wring his neck!” She sighed and said, “Well, it won’t be the last time.”

So now I have three unfortunate incidents to look forward to, thanks to my mother and her infinite wisdom…

*thinks about four children that are all a little bit like her in the most annoying ways*
Nah, that’s a coincidence, right?


About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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4 Responses to Mother Knows Best

  1. Sherry says:

    *smiling*. Well some of us love being like our mothers, others not so much…and the rest? Why they just soldier on….hahaha…I like to remember every time I stub my toe….it will not be the last time…awful thought eh?


  2. lisajsmi says:

    hahahaha…too funny!


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