As a Marine, The Mister spent a considerable amount of time on boats. I mean, ships. Because you can’t say boats to a Marine. Marines go on ships, and floats.
Early in our marriage, he discovered my belief in sea monsters. We have argued about it ever since.
My theory: We don’t even know how deep the sea is! You have no idea what’s out there! Remember what happened to Jonah?!? Leviathan?!? What about The Abyss?!? Did you not read Moby Dick? Or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? Have you even been on that ride?!?
His theory: Dolphins racing ships are a beautiful sight.
He says there are no monsters. If shown a photo of a monster, he just says logical and reasonable things like “It’s not real.”
not “real”
not “real”
not “real”
not “real”
not “real”
not “real”
When I was in fifth grade, I saw a giant squid at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago and I have never fully recovered.
that poor baby!
In sixth grade, I read 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. I had nightmares for weeks. Giant Squid.
I thought I was okay, but my 1991 trip to Disney World brought it all back in full color and near panic.
So don’t tell me there aren’t sea monsters. Scientists are like, “Oh, we thought the Coelacanths were extinct, but they’re not! Yay!”
And there are fish that walk, ON LAND, and I don’t just mean mudskippers. Some of them are scary as fuck.
this mofo lives in florida
You never know when you’ll be swimmin, and some living fossil will come eat your tasty modern ass.
Y’all don’t even know.
joeyfullystated 
Ha, seriously funny stuff here but I have to admit, I’m not a fan of the deep. Who knows what’s out there, down there, in there, under there. I was watching a show about underwater cave explorers – really? Nice post.
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Thanks!
Yeah, I went spelunking once. It was fun. I was young and felt invincible. I was also with two big male experts!
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I could see that, but under land where you still have all the air you want. Bit underwater with 40 minutes until you die.
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Yeah. NO. lol I wouldn’t even spelunk now!
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WHAT!? Sweetums is NOT REAL!!!?
[pout]
PS – The Abyss – one of THE best movies EVER but I hate it that I feel like I’m suffocating half the time but then there’s Ed Harris, so yeah… sigh. Breathing once again.
Terrific post. Love, love, love it.
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Thank you, Maggie 🙂
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One more reason why I don’t plan to ever scuba dive. In fact, I don’t even fancy a snorkel…
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Scuba is terrible. Snorkeling is pretty cool, because AIR. lol
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OMGosh, this is SO funny! I loved the Abyss movie (yep, Ed Harris), but still remember the da DUM; da DUM; da DUM of the Jaws theme. Every time I hear it, I get goose bumps! Now THAT was scary! Although I have to admit the scariest movie I ever saw was Invasion of the Body Snatchers (the original and the remake). Pod people. I’m sure they came from the ocean.
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Hah! Thanks! And thanks so much for commenting! It’s funny what’s entertaining and thrilling can capture our attention in such a negative way at times.
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Sea Monsters, Zombies, Ghosts, Aliens.
They’re all real.
I know they are…..
They live under my stairs…
I call them…..
TEENAGERS!!
😉
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I love this post. I smiled and laughed all the way through, and I got a bonus at the end, if you’ll pardon the pun. It’s great knowing that my ass is tasty AND modern! Thanks for that. I think we’re all better off knowing that about our asses. 🙂
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Thank you! I’m glad I was good for your ass-esteem today, Deborah! 😉
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When I was four we lived in Georgia and my grandparents lived in Fernandina Beach, FL. I remember going to the beach on Thanksgiving among other times. But, I would never get in the water past my waist. My aunt would frequently try to get me to let her take me out deeper but I was convinced a giant squid was going to get me. Most kids, I think, fear sharks at the ocean. Not me…I was scared of the giant squid. I’m right there with ya, sister.
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Thank you for your support, hollie. I love to frolic at the beach, but not beyond the bottoms of my feet!
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🙂 Fishes probably think we’re monsters too.
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Good point. We eat their friends all the time!
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This is hilarious! I agree with you. We don’t know what we don’t know. I did love the book and the ride of 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea.
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Thanks! You’re so brave, Phil!
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well, thanks…I’ll sleep well tonight now…walking monsters from the deep….what next…
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Never ever ask what’s next, Sherry! This means you’ve just conjured up a whole new thing!
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I needed that laugh. Thanks! Oh, and I agree, by the way. Sea monsters are real.
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Thanks, Kat!
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YES!!! I just said that out loud. Sea monsters totally exist and that is the reason I will never learn to swim. Because if I fall overboard then I want to drown ASAP.
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Good reason!
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I believe too! How about Great White Sharks? I love them, am fascinated by them, but would never, ever be caught dead in the water with one. No way in &**^&%/
Fondly,
Elizabeth
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Haha! Thank you, Elizabeth!
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That fish is one terrifying mofo! And to think, when I went to Antigua I walked – willingly – off the gangplank and into the sea! Had I only known….
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Honestly, Linda, what were you thinkin?!?
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Pfft. I was on vacation – probably drunk. 😛
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LOL Good for you! 😀
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