Don’t Be Ridiculous

Today’s prompt for my Photo a Day Challenge is Pet Peeve.
Who doesn’t have pet peeves?

Are yours visually interesting to photograph? I suppose I could snap a photo of your which should be you’re. Fear of seeing one more “Your welcome” makes me not even want to thank some people.

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Most of my pet peeves revolve around other people, but I decided on lids that claim to be sealed for my protection. Sealed for my protection means if I can’t slice it open with a knife, I won’t buy your product anymore. Of course, I won’t buy a product without a seal, because anxiety disorder, sooo…

Coffee creamer is the worst one, because morning stiffness.

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But you know which pet peeve I really wanted to capture?
Ridiculous People who say Ridiculous Things like, “One day you’ll miss ___.”

One day I’ll miss being pregnant. No. Pregnant? Do you mean when I was throwing up and crying about everything, or when I crawled around on my hands and knees for five weeks because I had back labor from bottom-down breech?
One day I’ll miss them being babies. No. Babies? Like pooping, crying, nursing fiends? No. Ridiculous. I missed a lot of sex, sleep, and meals while they were babies.
One day I’ll miss them being so small. No. Small? As in potty training, eating pet kibble, walking at a snail’s pace, getting into everything? No. Ridiculous. I was still missing a lot of sex, sleep, and meals, while also toting around everything but the kitchen sink — and my back was killing me!
One day I’ll miss this >insert random< age. No. This random age of fighting, lying, making messes, back-talking, and conveniently forgetting? No. Ridiculous. I enjoy a clean and quiet house where people are honest and try their best.

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I have memories of good and bad, and everything in between. I was present for all of it.

Nursing was wonderful, and surely the best part of The Baby Daze, because I got to rest and snuggle my happy babies and sniff their little heads and hold their little feet. I liked how Sissy would read to us during nursing sessions, but I would not say I miss it. I enjoy sleeping on my stomach. I enjoy dry breasts and I certainly enjoy not having them milked by machinery.

The building and creating times are also fabulous. Blocks, Legos, K’nex, Magnetix, trains, puzzles, finger paints, pottery, stepping stones, plaster of Paris. You would not believe the things Bubba could build! But oh, you should see what he can do now! Sassy drew a person one day, typical of a three-year-old, with four fingers and a thumb, long toes that looked like talons, a belly button and a smile from ear to ear. It was precious. Now I have to fight off relatives who want her art.

Really enjoy the hilarious things my kids say. I expect they’ll always make me laugh. I rather demand it!

So much good stuff has happened; reading stories, and playing games, and showing and teaching and seeing the world through their eyes — all wonderful, all beautiful memories. But you know what? I’m still making them. We’ve gone from Goodnight Moon to To Kill a Mockingbird, from Chutes & Ladders to Scrabble. We’ve gone from announcing every poop to forging some personal boundaries. We’ve gone from asking why Franklin lied to Moose, to why the National Enquirer is not real journalism.
And I like it!

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And there’s no reason to miss the old good stuff when there’s plenty right now.

If you can’t see the world anew through the eyes of your older or adult child, then you need to try harder. They’re still full of insight. I’m not saying wisdom, I’m saying they’re still teaching me. I don’t feel like pining for the past, I just look back fondly. I don’t want to throw them out of the house right now, but I look forward to a job well done.

I like to focus on the positives, like once everyone’s had braces, once everyone’s gotten over acne, once everyone can drive, once everyone has moved out, once everyone has had to shower without hot water…

I’m not going to miss unexpected wet pants, ER visits, suspensions, broken curfews, face cream on the windows, broken crayons, dirty diapers, lost shoes, poorly folded towels, scratched discs, nose suckers, a belly too big to drive, strange substances stuck to the floor, or farting contests.

For some reason, the world does not want you to complain about your children. If your children are drivin you crazy, you should just shut up, because you chose this. It’s peculiar, given that one also chooses lovers, jobs, homes, shoes, glasses — all of which one can exchange. One cannot exchange one’s children. One must endure. Wait and see. Hope it’s a phase.

People tell me, “Oh you’ll miss them when they’re gone.” Well, yes, of course. I miss them often. I sorta don’t ever want to be away from them. Even when I send them away, I know I will miss them.
I’ve not been raising my children to stay home to keep me company, I’ve been raising them to go out into the world and make lives for themselves.

I miss Bubba and Sissy all the time, but you know what? I’ve still got memories, and now and again they tell me good stories or make me laugh or fill my heart to bursting, even though they’re not here.

Another one to get peeved about is “Just you wait!” People are always saying this to parents. I find it odd. Are they competing about fretting over life’s stages? Because I assure you, I have worried my parents at every stage of life, and I think parenting is a frustrating job for anyone regardless of the child’s age. Furthermore, no one would do it if it wasn’t for all the incredible, unfathomable joy along the way.

“OMG Moo’s crawling!”
“Just you wait until she’s walking!”
Yeah? I got three others walking, what am I waiting for? For her to fall down? To trip? To walk faster? To run?

People have got to stop saying Ridiculous Things.

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About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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27 Responses to Don’t Be Ridiculous

  1. LindaGHill says:

    *takes note of what not to say to you, realizing I’ll probably forget where I put the note*
    I do remember people telling me I’ll miss my kids being babies and thinking at the time, “Why wait? I wanna miss it fucking now!” Now? I miss about 5% of it – because that’s about how much I remember them sleeping. 😛 Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. I do miss their smell, and their weight.
    I’ll stop talking to myself now. Thanks for the excellent post. 🙂

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    • “I wanna miss it fucking now!” AHAHAHAHA! OMG, had I thought of that, I would have SAID it, Linda! Oh yeah, the smell of babies is divine. But we can still smell other people’s babies now, without any of the dirty work! 😛

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  2. hollie says:

    I don’t think I have ever agreed with something more in my life. I hear all the time “you’ll miss when…” Ridiculous! Sure, Owen was adorable as a baby, and I loved him then… but I also love him now. Only now is when we don’t have diapers and the packing up of everything we own in order to leave the house, or making plans based on nap times. Now is better. People are missing out on the present when they are so wrapped up in the past. The same people, I find are also wrapped up in the future..which doesn’t seem to make sense. They are so busy with wishing time would stop and worrying about when their kids get older that they forget to enjoy them in the present. Actually, maybe I’ve just struck the thesis…. if they would take a hot minute and stop living in the past, the present would be much more enjoyable!

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  3. Amen. I want to print this one and keep it to read if I ever start feeling any parental regret or nostalgia.

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  4. Deborah says:

    So true! People don’t think before they speak. The other side of that is the people who say ridiculous things in the opposite direction. My child was potty trained at 10 months. Slept through the night from 3 weeks. blah blah blah. Talk about making new parents even more insecure. Yes, people need to quit saying ridiculous things.

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    • Oh yeah, like some sorta competition. I never got into that. Beauty Queen had so many kids before me, if I ever worried, I’d ask her, “Is this okay?” LOL I think parents with one kid are the worst for that. Then the second or third child comes and they’re forced to realize they weren’t better parents, they just got lucky!

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      • Deborah says:

        You know, I find it more obnoxious when they do have more than one child. Because I often discover that it’s not really that they even got lucky–it’s more like selective memory. It’s like they use someone else’s misfortune to buoy up their feelings of superiority–even if the actual facts aren’t true.

        To me, if a new mother is struggling, I do everything I can do encourage that person. Not try to make them feel worse by competing with them. It seems like there are too many people out there trying to find ways to feel better about themselves at other people’s expense. I’m usually an optimistic sort, but that kind of false one-upsmanship (or however that’s spelled) really bothers me. (I know, you couldn’t tell.) 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Dan Antion says:

    Wow, you clobbered a ton of stupid things in one post. Good job. A ridiculous thing that I’ve been known to say is “someday we’ll laugh about this” – for some of those things, that day has yet to come. The next time I think about saying that, I’ll try to remember this post. Or the look on my wife’s face the last time I said it to her – either one would work.

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  6. Carrie Rubin says:

    I feel much the same. I’ve enjoyed every phase with my kids and find each one fun (and trying) for different reasons. But while I don’t necessarily miss the past, I wouldn’t mind going back in time a day or two just to experience them as babies and toddlers again. To get those cuddly hugs and sniff those fragrant heads. 🙂

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  7. Beret Olsen says:

    Oh, how I loved this post! Thanks for putting all this onto the cyber-page. Here’s to “forging some personal boundaries,” and passing the “unexpected wet pants” stage…at least for now.

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  8. words4jp says:

    I think that if you and lived near each other, we would be the coolest buds:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m tryin to get my Chicagoland friend to come here for Labor Day, so I dunno when I’ll get up that way next, but when I do, you and I are totally gonna meet up! 🙂

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  9. Phil Taylor says:

    Loved it. We are all welcome to our opinions. That’s what’s great about blogging. Of course if I stopped saying ridiculous things I wouldn’t have a blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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