Letting Go of Como

You may remember that over the summer, I fell in love with this little sweetie at an adoption event?

como4

A week ago, we re-homed her with a woman we met through MIL. She was ready to love a new kitty and we were ready to let her go.
Okay, I wasn’t really ready to let her go so much as I was ready to free myself from the guilt of her self-segregation. She’s such a beauty, but she’s also a love-bug. She’s just a furry bundle of purring, nuzzling, tail-shakin love.

She’d come down the back hallway for treats, or even venture into the kitchen for food now and again. But as soon as she finished, she ran off to solitary. And although she chose this, it wasn’t the same as when my other cats go off to hide and nap. She wasn’t choosing it because she wanted to do normal cat stuff; she was choosing it out of fear. She simply did not like the other cats. She’d growl and retreat even when they seemed not to notice her.

I hated that she chose to be alone in our room, or alone in the laundry room. I hated that I had to lock up all the other pets to have a brief couch snuggle with her. It made me weepy. I felt guilty and angry too often. I know Dr. S said she was happy enough, and I want to believe him. But I don’t think she was as happy as every beloved pet deserves to be. Better than the shelter? Absolutely. Best scenario? Not even close.

So when MIL mentioned her friend Kay had been thinking about adopting a new cat, I asked her to set up a point of contact, so I could introduce her to Como.
Kay had a cat before, and like many of us, she was so heartbroken, she didn’t think she’d want another one again. But time heals. Kay has no other animals. At Kay’s house, Como is the feline queen. She can own the entire house, demand all the attention, and thrive in happiness.

When I go into the laundry room, I’m still sad not to see her perched on the dryer, but I have to believe I fell in love with her for a reason, even if that reason turned out to be that of playing the middle man.

Have you ever had to re-home or surrender an animal?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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21 Responses to Letting Go of Como

  1. LindaGHill says:

    Nope, never. But there may be a couple of new adopted additions to the house in the next few weeks. I’ll keep you updated.
    Sorry you had to let your precious Como go. But as you pointed out, she’s moved on to the palace. You’ve done a good thing, my dear. 🙂

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  2. Luanne says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry. This happened with a gorgeous white cat that my husband found. She hated other cats and I had a new 4th cat and so we gave her to my daughter. The new cat was an EXTREME love bug to human and so adorable but she and my D’s cat hated each other and it caused lots and lots of peeing etc problems for D. So we rehomed her again with a friend. Same problem there, except her original cat decided to live in the garage. Well, come to find out this new extreme love bug’s kidneys started shutting down. Apparently she had been starving so long outside that it damaged her health. Now my friend has to give her fluids regularly and had to get her high quality food. But what we suspect is that she “hates” cats because she learned to fiercely protect food because she was starving!

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    • OMG, how sad is that?!? I’m sorry for all parties. That poor kitty. And yeah, peeing trouble can ruin a pet owner’s life. Ugh.
      I’ve taken in several cats when people couldn’t keep them — to care for them while a permanent home was found — so I know it’s always a risk — but I wanted this girl for myself.
      My nephew told me that her hiding might be a health issue, so I took her to the vet, where she got the A-O-K…but I did worry for awhile.
      I guess at Kay’s house, she still prefers their bedroom, but she comes out voluntarily and did so on the second day.
      Thank you for sharing your story, Luanne.

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  3. Urgh. I feel ya. I’ve been in a similar spot.

    KK was a calico kitten that I adopted spur of the moment from a friend. She showed up on my friend’s doorstep. She was too dang cute for words. I adopted Joey the same way – that is, impetuously and he had been with me for over fifteen years when KK came along.

    Unfortunately… KK was a holy terror. She was named for a headbanger DJ, if that gives you a clue. Cute as a button – on hi-test. Let herself out at night – via the screen on the window over the kitchen sink. She got into EVERYthing. And this did not sit well with the man of the house. Nor with Joey. So.

    Yeah. Re-homed her and have felt guilty about it ever since. I didn’t have 100% warm fuzzies about the adoptive family.

    By the sounds of things, you might still get to see Como? Hope so.

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  4. Dan Antion says:

    Seems like the right thing to do but I can only imagine how hard it must have been.

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  5. meANXIETYme says:

    Been there, done that (with dogs), got the empty tissue box to show for it. It’s hard…SO SO hard, but like end of life decisions for our pets, it’s more important that THEY be okay than we be okay. You did the right thing and you made the choice for Como.

    It’s been at least six years since we returned a dog to the rescue because it didn’t work out (lots of reasons, sadly), but I still think of her often. She was a sweet sweet girl, but when we returned her to the rescue, you could actually see the change come over her as if she understood that she was home again. It was a two hour drive home from the rescue/foster, and I cried all the way. I often wonder how the dog is doing…and then get weepy all over again. I know the foster absolutely adored her, so at the very least, I knew she was in an awesome place for the time being.

    HUGS to you for being a good, strong pet parent.

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    • Thank you for the HUGS. I feel better knowing she’s better off. I just loved her. I had to surrender not one, but TWO dogs. One because we ended up “homeless” and no one was willing to take him, and the other because he bit Sassy’s face off. I swear the bite-y dog was a good boy. Oh how I loved him. But we still had 8 month old Moo to go, and couldn’t risk it. They said they’d only place him with kids 6 and up, and I’m sure they did. The Mister wanted to kill him, while I cried for days. Meanwhile, Sassy has been mad at me for getting rid of her dog ever since. You know, the one that bit her face off? (She bit his nose. He bit back.) It was God Awful, the whole thing. I think that’s why she’s so close to Sadie. ❤

      I'm sorry about the loss of your dog. I like to think you're right, and it's all about what's best for them. Thank you for sharing your story.

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      • meANXIETYme says:

        I had to give up another dog, but that was when I was first living on my own (20something years ago) and the dog was an escape artist and I was so stressed out that I cried every day I had her. My brother’s girlfriend at the time took her. I cried for days after the dog was rehomed, even knowing who had her (and was loving her & spoiling her). I felt so guilty then, but it was also wrapped up in feeling young and naive about owning a dog on my own.

        I can’t even imagine having a dog who bit a child. That had to be scary as all get-out. I’m sorry it happened but glad you were able to find a good resolution for the dog…because if he was that iffy with Sassy, can you imagine how frightened he might have been with an even younger child? Sometimes dogs just can’t handle that…and it’s best to get the dog a more comfortable home.

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  6. Such a wonderful thing you did for that sweet kitty! I’ve never fostered, because I’m sure I would want to keep every animal coming through….well, that, and our English Bulldog is a bit of a bully. I hope you get some updates from her new Mama!

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  7. Jewels says:

    So heart breaking, Joey. I’m sorry it didn’t it didn’t work out with Como, I think you did the right thing. I hope she’ll be wonderfully happy and content in her new home. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sherry says:

    Yep, when I sold my “farm” to move back to take care of my ailing father, I gave my collie to the people who bought the farm. Gave them my horse as well. They had another horse and that made it the best solution. Cassie could stay at the farm where she grew up. It was an awful day when I drove away though. I still miss her, though of course she is long passed. 😦 You did the right thing, and it was very brave of you to think of Como first. 🙂

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  9. It’s always gut-wrenching to give up an animal whatever the reason. We do fostering for sick and abandoned Westies and on the day we have to give one over to their “furever” home, I am always a wreck.

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  10. Matt Roberts says:

    I’m deathly allergic to cats, and I hate it, but there it is. So back in 2008 when my wife and I had to move to another place, we had our Angus dog and that was that. A friend of mine had cats (lots and lots of cats always) and one had a litter and he had trouble getting rid of the kittens because his cats always have litters and everyone in the state has his kittens already. So I said I’d TRY to take one and see how it affected me. I did this for my wife, who loves cats so much she almost didn’t marry me because I’m allergic.

    So I took one in. He was the cutest and kittenest cat ever. Angus didn’t like him but that didn’t stop the kitten from wanting to love on him. Angus protested, but that’s all he’d do. He was a grump.

    After a week and my allergies doing well, my wife talked me into maybe going for one more so the kitten had someone to play with. So we got another from my buddy. The two played and played and we were in love. Angus not so much, but he gave in. They would very often curl up next to him on the floor and sleep. It was adorable.

    And then I couldn’t breathe. I thought MAYBE it was seasonal allergies, cause twas the season. But I noticed I couldn’t breathe when I was at home. I’d go to work and after an hour or two I’d be better. Then I’d go home and couldn’t breathe.

    Another week later it was so bad I had to have my wife (who doesn’t have a license) drive me to the ER. I had gone to a Urgent Care and was misdiagnosed by a bitch of a doctor and almost died because of it, so I rarely go to Urgent Cares now. The ER gave me three breathing treatments and kept me there over night. I realized it was the kittens.

    After discussing it, and my wife crying a lot, we decided me not dying was better than having two cats, so one day while she was at work it was my job to take them to the SPCA. Listening to them mew all the way there, and as I handed them over… I cried a lot. I loved them and still miss them. We have a few pictures of them playing around the place and sleeping next to Angus, and we look at them every now and then and get sad. That was six years ago. They probably don’t even remember us lol.

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    • Thank you for sharing. That’s a terrible story 😦
      Honestly, we are all of us allergic to the cats. We’re not all allergic to all the cats. It varies. But none of us can touch a cat and touch our eyes without consequences. But we CAN breathe. Breathing is rather important, so yes, y’all did the right thing.

      My Casey cat was originally a friend’s. My friend got pregnant, and had a terrible onset reaction, with the breathing and the gasping and a rash. Her dr had her take samples of all their furs, and Casey was one of the pets she was allergic to. I took Casey, and everyone was happy.
      A few years later, my in-laws were visiting, and my FIL (who always called Casey Tiger, cause she looked like this cat Tiger his dad had in the 80’s) was obviously in love with her. She only loved my FIL and Loribeth like that, so FIL took her home to Indiana that day. She’s very happy to be his girl. We all love her, and she loves us, but not like he does. He has a silver framed photo of her on his desk ^_^ LOL She definitely likes being the only animal in the house. Of course, we enjoy seeing her all the time, but I know she’s in the right place, too. She is a bird watcher and The Palace of Rules is a bird haven!

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