I Wonder

Posted on March 3, 2015 by joey

WhY DiD TypiNg LiKe ThiS BeCoMe a THinG? Was theRe a PuRpoSe? DoeS It MeAn SOMeTHinG? Am i DoiNG iT RiGHT?

Why do people wear woolen caps in the summer?

Why do we congratulate people when they get married and then again when they get divorced? “Good job finding that spouse!” “Good job getting rid of that same spouse!” Odd, non? Maybe congratulations is why some people think marriage is an accomplishment?

Do the people who think the president controls the gas prices still think that when prices are low?

Why is it hard for people to understand gender identity? Plenty of people color their hair. Maybe she looks like a brunette, but she feels like a blonde, so she sees the colorist and we’re none the wiser. Why does anyone care?

Do blonde jokes still count when you’re a bottle-blonde?

Why don’t more people like my Facebook page?

What the fuck are people doing in those enormous glass showers?

Why does it take some people ten minutes or more to try on a pair of pants?

If people are already proponents of creationism, why is it hard to believe their deity created evolution? Have you seen how humans breed canines, or how humans create hybrid fruits and flowers? Is their deity not capable of that? I wouldn’t want a deity who didn’t understand science.

If people don’t believe in a deity because there’s no absolute proof, why is it so easy for those same people to believe in aliens, despite the lack of absolute proof?

Why is it that we all have that one thin friend who out-eats us and never gains a pound, and we all have that one thick friend who out-exercises us and never loses a pound?

Why don’t men wear painful things to exhibit their desirability? It must be such a burden to walk around with loose breasts and in comfortable shoes, and no, I’m not totally jealous.

Why is it so hard to understand that other people’s addictions make them feel just as good and just as miserable as our own addictions?

If it’s so important that we all go to heaven, shouldn’t heaven sound good to everyone? Is there a less-luxe heaven for those who prefer a more casual eternity?

If there are animals in heaven, that’s gonna be a real bitch for all those people who pretended to have allergies, right?

If summer’s so fantastic, then why the hell is hell hot?

Is caste system reincarnation on a bell curve, a sliding scale, or a standard grading system?

What is the proper spiritual response when a stream of fire ants climb into your coffee?

Those people who are all like, “We keep the romance alive by keeping our bathroom time private,” — Who brings them toilet paper from the other bathroom when the kids let it run out? Who brings them a cold rag when they vomit? Who takes them to the bathroom when their nails are wet?

Why do I always hafta pee when I finish painting my nails?

How long before we can pay per view of anything without contracts? I want a system where I can watch what I want to watch without subscription. I’d be happy to pay a la carte.

How long before everything in our homes becomes wireless? I hate wires. I don’t want to hide them in a tube, I don’t want to tape them to the legs of furniture, I do not want them hidden in the drywall, I just don’t want to deal with wires, EVER.

How is that man on ESPN allowed to wear that dreadful shiny hair-hat, when obviously he’s on television?

Why do we call it football? Obviously soccer is football.

Why is there a long orange extension cord on the streetlight across from me?

Why does so much of the internet read like old Cosmo articles?

Why do people believe everything they read on the internet? Don’t they have Google? AHAHAHA!

For a long time, I thought barely liked anyone else’s children, but then I realized that a lot of the adults I don’t like are actually someone else’s children. Oh, okay, that’s not a wonder…

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About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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38 Responses to I Wonder

  1. meANXIETYme says:
    March 3, 2015 at 12:15 PM

    I just can’t even…. too much…. overload.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. orbthefirst says:
    March 3, 2015 at 12:35 PM

    Ghosts+belief in Heaven/Hell=Noncomprende.

    Oh, and wirelessness will become a thing when it becomes just as fast & reliable & cheap as wired. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jadi Campbell says:
    March 3, 2015 at 12:38 PM

    Wow. If this is food for thought, I just ate enough for 3 days.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. edwinasepisodes says:
    March 3, 2015 at 12:40 PM

    Wow, you have hit on some good points there! I hate wires as well, so untidy and yet another thing for me to trip over!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Carrie Rubin says:
    March 3, 2015 at 1:23 PM

    All good questions, though I have to say, I’m one of those people who keeps bathroom time separate from hubby’s. It’s worked for over 25 years, so I won’t rock the boat now. But on the potty subject, I have another question for you. Why does it take women so long to use a public restroom? Standing in line is such a pain. Can’t they speed things up? (Of course, they’re probably asking the same about me…)

    Liked by 3 people

    • joeyfullystated says:
      March 3, 2015 at 1:26 PM

      I dunno, maybe we’re always in line behind those same people who are in the fitting room for too long? Maybe pants are too hard for some people?
      Never rock a smooth-sailing boat, Carrie. Even if it means you need to waddle your wet nethers around the house in search of tp…
      🙂

      Like

  6. hollie says:
    March 3, 2015 at 1:35 PM

    Omg these made me giggle, which normally would be a good thing, but since my phone is in my desk drawer, now I just look weird. Other people pull out their desk drawers at work and then laugh into them, right? Thank, I needed a pick-me-up today…work has SuCkED. Seriously, we need to find out who made the random capitalization a thing and have them flogged or tarred and feathered.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Stella's Mommy says:
    March 3, 2015 at 1:53 PM

    As a hair colorist, I love the one about sexual identity. I wish it was as accepted to switch back and forth with our genders as it is with our hair color! There are times where I just really want a penis. Oh, and blonde jokes totes apply to bottle blondes too….In fact, probably more so, since everyone knows the color seeps into our brains….

    Liked by 1 person

  8. mamalisa4 says:
    March 3, 2015 at 2:10 PM

    Can I tell you how much I LOVE this? I do! I often wonder the same things!! Great post!! Really enjoyed it! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Anxious Mom says:
    March 3, 2015 at 2:37 PM

    Hahaha, love this! I have so many of the same questions. I am so glad that you didn’t type the whole post LiKe ThIs though 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dan Antion says:
    March 3, 2015 at 3:13 PM

    Wow, aren’t we in a curious mood…

    I can actually answer some of these, but as has often been pointed out to me, women aren’t always seeking an answer when they ask questions.

    However – There is usually a “utility service” outlet in the base of lamp posts (so people can work on them). A guy in Seattle was powering a lot of things in his house from that outlet back in the ’80s. He got arrested.

    As for typingLikeThis. I know why I do it. In the programming language I use, commands have to be single words. addTheNumbers looks better than add_the_numbers and it is easier to read than addthenumbers. But, other than that and hashtags on Twitter, I don’t write like that.

    By the way, I really enjoyed this.

    Like

    • joeyfullystated says:
      March 3, 2015 at 3:18 PM

      Wow! Okay, so that’s an actual answer about TyPinG, which I very much appreciate! But it doesn’t much explain why people continue typing like that when they’re trying to communicate with other humans!
      You know Imma hafta go see where the extension cord leads now, right? I should think everyone on my street can afford their light bill…
      I am always curious, and of course I want answers! But most of them cannot be answered, apparently.
      Thanks for answering, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. vanbytheriver says:
    March 3, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    Really enjoyed that. But I think my head hurts a little now. ☺ Van

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Sammy D. says:
    March 3, 2015 at 4:15 PM

    YoU PaiNt YouR NaILs?!?!?!?!?!? No OnE Sees ‘eM OnCe TheY’rE pouNded In thE WaLL.

    WaiT, WHat ?

    💏

    Liked by 5 people

  13. rgemom says:
    March 3, 2015 at 4:43 PM

    The things you think, but don’t realize you think, until someone else points it out. Hah! Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Silver in the Barn says:
    March 3, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    Dash it, Jolene, summer is awesome! And you always have to pee after you paint your nails for the same reason I always sneeze after putting on mascara. The gods don’t want us too perfect, I guess.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Maggie Wilson says:
    March 4, 2015 at 7:58 AM

    you hafta do this again.

    btw “Why is it that we all have that one thin friend who out-eats us and never gains a pound?” I don’t have a friend like that. I have a husband like that. [grumble]

    Liked by 1 person

  16. the pu®ple lady (@th_purpl_lady) says:
    March 4, 2015 at 8:09 AM

    This is the very first time I’ve seen a blog post from you. I had no idea. I enjoyed the read, and I’m so glad I found it!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Sherry says:
    March 4, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    in a word, why not.

    Like

  18. Sherry says:
    March 4, 2015 at 1:27 PM

    excuse me that was two words

    Like

Comments are closed.