If you’ve ever been car shopping on a lot, then you know how absurd and tedious it is. You surrender to this ridiculous negotiation ritual where you say numbers and the salesman writes bigger numbers and then he goes and talks to some guy and he comes back with newer smaller numbers so you say numbers and this goes on and on until you leave or one of you actually compromises.
I am the negotiator, because as I’ve said, I am a mean bitch woman of words and The Mister is my muscle a man of action. So, I sit there, with my sweet face and my sweet voice and I say audacious things like, “If you were never going to lower that price, then you had no business showing me that car, because I told you from the beginning where I stood.”
I flustered the salesman in a way that can only be described as near decimation of his patience. The Mister felt bad for him.
I’ve noticed that women take no issue when I say, “I’m your customer. He’s just here to pay,” but men, men seem ruffled by it. It doesn’t matter if it’s cars, houses, cell phones, computers — too many of them don’t like to deal with women. And that’s why I don’t feel bad for that salesman.
The third round, that motherfucker came back to me with numbers I liked, BUT ON A LESSER MODEL.
I walked out.
I explained to my daughters that it’s important to know when to walk away. I don’t settle. I have no problem walkin away from a freakin car. Are you kidding? My attachment ability is extremely limited. I’ve walked away from family, friends, lovers, jobs, opportunities, and even free ice cream — walking away from a car is a non-issue.
I told my daughters the jobs story:
Fresh from college, I interviewed for two local English teaching positions.
The first was at a private high school, and an hour after the interview ended, I was offered the job. For $16k a year. I think it was $16,9. I laughed, out loud, uncontrollably. I said, “I make more than that at the hardware store!”
“But our students are of the highest caliber, with fewer disciplinary incidents and greater —” Blah blah blah, I don’t know what the hell she said after that.
The other offer was like the above car shopping experience.
The nearby township job was described to me during the interview as teaching 6th and 8th grade English, with two prep periods, for $27,8. I was called back for a second interview, and upon completion of that interview, I was offered a job teaching 6th, 7th, and 8th grade English, with one prep period, sponsorship of the French club, and commitment to one sport. That’s right, more work, but for the exact same amount of pay. Did I attempt to negotiate? No. I knew then that contract negotiations would be like that every fucking year and salary increases were tiered regardless.
See, too much like the car negotiation. Insulting.
Today’s negotiations went far more smoothly. I gave the salesman my numbers and he came back asking $7 more a month on a new vehicle.
After nine years of being a one-car family, we are once again a two-car family. I named my car Bonnie Blue. She represents my freedom.
Are you a good negotiator?
joeyfullystated 
Good job! They know we want it, and will eventually cave. They count on this. I walked away from one years ago, and he chased me down the sidewalk to give me exactly what I mentioned 20 minutes before.
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Excellent! I walk away with what I want or nothing at all — I’m not about to cave!
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For me there is a tipping point. I usually only shop when I need a car. I’m likely to cave if we get pretty close.
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I get that. $7 more a month tho…not $65, and on another, older, lesser model. I must look stupid lol
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I am not a good negotiator, but you are my hero.
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Thanks 😀
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I do not care for negotiations. I prefer cut and dry with a side of precise. This is what I want, and this is what I am willing to do for it. If that cannot be reached then tell me now and save yourself the aggravation of my wrath for wasting my time. I never learned to haggle, never wanted to haggle, and am sure I’d be poor at it. Yes, I can intimidate them, but I just want what I want for what I want it for. Now, the devil spawn in me wants to drive up to that dealer and show him the recently purchased vehicle that could of been his sale were he to have done what today’s salesman did. He didn’t play around, and was very upfront with what he could do to get us closer to our goal. Thank the gods I married you. I will always be your bag-man enforcer to your haggler.
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❤
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I would totally do that. I’d also blog and name names if someone treated me poorly. Sometimes sales staff get nervous about monthly production and you can do a teeny bit better at the end of the month.
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I’m glad to see that you got your point across and that you got your car. I am not a good negotiator and my wife and I are worse as a team. My best negotiation was on a pickup truck when I went alone but had to call my wife before closing the deal. She was my “manager.” Similar to your story, the guy showed me a truck he knew I couldn’t buy. I guess he hoped I would fall in love with it.
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I think yesterday’s salesman was just plain greedy.
I resist the urge to swing by that dealership and gloat.
The salesman today told us that he thinks the other dealership is responsible for a good deal of new customers. Said people leave that one and come to the other. Just like we did. Kinda made us chuckle.
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I learned from my parents about walking away when buying a car. I’ve walked multiple times. I’ve had salespeople chase me down the parking lot and I’ve STILL walked away because even though they may have been close enough to my price, the principle was more important to me. Don’t fuck with me, it won’t end in you getting a commission. Most recent purchase, I did all the research and negotiated over email to a really good price. When we got there, we talked them down a tad more, but I didn’t let the guy play games and Hub backed me up 100%.
On a different note, congratulations on the new car! I hope Bonnie Blue serves you well, with much safety and consistency. When we added back a second car after about ten years, I felt the wild call of freedom. Both cars are in Hub’s name (he has the paychecks) but the SUV is mine…ALL MINE! 🙂 Even though it’s the older of the two vehicles, I’m happier with it than the minivan because it sits higher and I like being able to see over most cars and multi-purpose vehicles.
Enjoy Bonnie Blue and your new freedom.
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Thank you! I’m certainly pleased with the purchase. Its warranty and its 10 air bags are good for my anxiety!
I’m so with you! It wasn’t just the money, it was the principle! Why the fuck were we negotiating one car and one price when he countered with a different car and a different price? What a waste of all our time!
Freedom is a beautiful thing. Having the second car changes my entire life. It’s no small thing, and has been long-awaited 🙂
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Oh shit, I loved this post, and now I have to write about the only new car buying experience I have had. Thanks for making me do work. I think I might wait until tomorrow since it is game night, but now I’m going to be thinking of making that memory into words. It was awesome, and yes, I negotiated brilliantly.
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😀
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I’m a conflict avoider so I don’t like to negotiate. But I can stand up for myself, and if something doesn’t seem right, I have no problem saying so. The thing with car negotiations is that between the Internet and Consumer Reports, buyers can know ahead of time what’s a reasonable price. Once a dealer recognizes the shopper is savvy, they should just quit playing their back-and-forth game.
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You got that right! Thanks for your comment, Carrie!
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I like your style! Come with me the next time I buy a car 😀
My husband tells them up front that he doesn’t want to hear a word about payments, since they oh-so-love playing with that “we can get the payment down to blah blah blah if you sign for an extra decade” game.
Your first job sounds exactly like mine, almost. Taught the same grades for about $1,000 more per year. I am not much of a negotiator, obviously.
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lol @ sign for an extra decade! 😛
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Lol!! I want you along the next time I’m negotiating anything. You kick ASS!!! 🙂
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Thanks so much 😀 I appreciate that!
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I don’t negotiate. I go in knowing what I want after having done my homework. This is what I want. This is what it’s worth. Deal or walk.
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You know it!
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I love this story and your Bonnie Blue. You were a negotiating wizard, Joey!
I waited a month to get the price and car I wanted when I had lost my house, husband and thanks to No Child Left Behind Act my teaching job. I really wanted a nice car. I deserved it. Dodge Hank was the man who went to the table over and over again. I really respected his patience and we used public employees credit union discount. 20 days later started work at warehouse. I parked my dodge avenger right next to what everyone calls “the guard shack.” 🙂
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Oh argh, don’t get me started on No Child Left Behind! I’m so sorry you were affected by that.
Your devastation is real. Your grace enchanting.
I’m glad you got your Avenger, and isn’t that an apt name? 🙂
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“my attachment ability is extremely limited.” Wow, Joey, that could be the title of a post for me!!
I am a terrible negotiator – verbal upsmanship of any kind – altho’ I definitely know when to walk away … Like the time the car salesaman refused to tell me the interest rate saying, “If you can afford the monthly payment I’m quoting you, what do you care about the interest rate, little lady?”
You ‘n Bonnie Blue will get on famously. Hub’s car is Big Blue 😊 mine is Sophie.
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That is some sexist shit right there. Little Lady?!? BLECK! Why wouldn’t you care about your interest rate? Oh that burns my biscuits! I am really sexist and I’ll play my woman card any chance I can, but don’t they dare insult my intelligence!
Sophie is such a sweet, sophisticated name for a car, she must be fancy 🙂
Big Blue is so dependable 🙂
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Yes he steamed my French fries for sure!!
I drive my cars for 15 years so a new one seems fancy no matter what. I couldn’t stomach the research and negotiations this time so I asked Hub to please do it for me. I said, “I want safe, steady, and color white. Now go.” It’s so unlike me to turn over control that way but he brought home a winner. Sophie will probably be with me till we ride off into the sunset …
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We’re at 10 and 11 years for the longest we’ve owned cars, and lemme tell you, NOW? So much crap a car can do! I cannot get over the increase in technology. This gentle lady sat with me in my car yesterday to explain all the options on the tech stuff? Like 99% of it, I’ll never use. As for me, Sammy, I’m like, “I need A/C, an iPhone dock, and good trunk space.” The rest? Wha? Even the keys are weird now, foldy and fat. Do you know what I mean? lol
I find it funny that you asked for white. My last car was white. White is my favorite. But I had dreamed many times that my car was blue.
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Oh so true. Hub hovers for hours over the manual learning bells and whistles. I want to know how to turn the car on (mine doesn’t even use a key!!) , put it in drive and reverse, and lock the doors.
For anything else, i’ll call Hub in a panic if alarms go off or warning lights go on.
I don’t even use the radio let alone all that other media stuff and I will FOREVER wish we still had windows we could roll up and down by hand!!!!!!!!!!
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OMG ME TOO! If I ever got to choose my own car from top to bottom, my windows and locks would be manual!
Also, remember the little windows on the inside of the big windows? I want those, too! lol
No key? WOW!
One of the things I noticed yesterday was how many cars have a huge LED about “you’re runnin outta gas!” as if the little idiot light wasn’t enough! LOL
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Excellent! I used to be a good horse trader,or negotiator. Now I don’t have enough $$ to even bother. Your Mister is a lucky fellow. That sound you hear is my applause.
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Wow, thanks so much! I love applause! *blushes and stares at the ground*
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I think I’m an okay negotiator but I rarely have the chance to negoriate. But, I have always admired people who are good negotiators. I think this is a valuable skill.
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Thanks, John 🙂
Did ya get a deal on that Sodastream? lol
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No. Hahaha. The Bay does not negotiate.
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Damn! I wish I had your balls. I realized (again) while writing today’s blog post (ahem) and while reading your post (ahem) and recalling my first job interviews that I doubt myself too much and try to please EVERYONE but myself. That said I can also be incredibly selfish. In the same contradictory sense, I can be a hard as nails negotiator and I can be easily taken advantage of. It all depends on my perception of my opponent. If I think they are in some way better than me, then I usually cave. If I feel stronger, then I don’t. I am getting more consistent as my faith in myself grows, basing my stance on my own feelings and not on what others think. That doesn’t mean I never compromise. Actually, it means just the opposite. I no longer feel like I have to prove myself and so I am more reasonable/understanding of others…usually, but if someone is being an asshole, watch out.
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I enjoy your contradictions, E! I agree that letting go of certain prides and having a quiet confidence can be quite freeing and allows for more understanding. It’s good to know your value 🙂
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I am the negotiator and, when required, the hardass. I am good-natured until you try to take advantage of me, or worse, if you try to take advantage of my even better-natured husband. He has actually used the line “You don’t want my wife to come down here” more than once. Early in our marriage when we were still young he got suckered into a bad deal on a truck. I tore that salesperson up one end and down the other…new terms were dealt in short order. I hate being mean, though, so I prefer when people just offer me a fair deal to begin with. I’m glad to hear you held out for Bonnie Blue! 🙂
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A fair deal, yes! Thanks for commenting 🙂
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I rather my wife do all that dirty work.
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Great stories. You’re tough–and that’s a high compliment.
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Thanks, I’ll take it! 🙂
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Good for you Joey, You have to be a tough negotiator to get a good deal sometimes, not that I would know as I am bloody useless at it! 🙂
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Thanks!
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Oh there’s nothing more frustrating when you’re negotiating and they try to answer back to your husband/father/whatever. The most frustrating instance of that was when my family and I went to India when I was a teenager. Of course you’re supposed to haggle for things, but every time I tried to haggle for something from the market that I was going to buy myself with my pocket money, the men would reply by addressing my father, as if they couldn’t see me. Even my father’s attempts to tell them that they needed to speak to me because I was the one doing the buying didn’t help. I got so angry!
It’s never been that bad again, but often the assumption people make is that my husband is the one in charge, and not that he isn’t, but like you most of the time I’m the one doing the negotiating.
Anyway congrats on the new car! Glad you walked away from that first car salesman, he sounded like a complete prat.
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Yes, I can imagine each place around the world has some variation of this obvious assumption that the men are in charge.
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I’m a terrible negotiator, but that’s a great story. My father is an amazing negotiator…. talked a Porsche dealership into a crazy deal during the recession. I wouldn’t have the chutzpah. 😛
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Thanks for sharing, Alex 🙂
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I don’t know if I’m a negotiator as much as I’m impatient. I know the price I will pay, and walk if they play the game. My husband recently shopped for an ATV he wanted to replace his broken one he uses when off hunting deer. Thankfully, he called me when he was at the lot. I kept telling him to walk away from the deal—the guy chased him down–but he walked. We found a better deal at another place, and he is happy with his new toy.
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I’m glad he called you. In my experience, a good salesman makes a good deal even better.
Thanks for commenting!
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How could you walk away from free ice-cream??? Liked the way you have put in your role as the negotiator 🙂 I am terrible at it! Or maybe I am yet to purchase something big so perhaps my time will come.
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Car shopping is about as frustrating as it gets! I will never understand why it’s a game. Here is my best offer take it or leave it should suffice!
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Right? I was awed by the way the first salesman seemed to completely ignore every number we ever spoke of. Came back at me with some crazy computer-generated crap. What a waste of time!
I even asked him, “Is this how you do it? Every day?” What a joke!
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I think a lot of salesmen see a woman and automatically think, “Sucker.” I had an incident where I had to return a used car to a dealership because it was a lemon. Now, I know that they expected to draw this out in a long legal battle. But I was clearly in the right, and didn’t have time for all of that. I calmly told the salesman that if he didn’t take the car back, give me back my down payment, and remove the whole thing from my credit profile that I was going to start by hauling his computer through one of the floor to ceiling glass windows, and then work my way around the whole facility from there. He said he would call the police. I said I’d dial because I was the one getting robbed. He saw that I had nothing to lose, and everything was immediately taken care of to my satisfaction. I’m single Joey, so I had to be the brains and the muscle that day!
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Mmhm! You go, Faith! That’s a great story and I’m glad he saw your strength! Some of those people are just soooo shady!
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Bonnie Blue! Love it! Great story too 🙂
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Thanks!
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Wonderful post.
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Thank you, and thanks so much for stopping by 🙂
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I am tickled you got yourself the car you wanted and at the price you wanted to pay. I got out of the Navy and when I moved in with my aunt and Mother. I didn’t need a license nor a car. Toodles drove to work at the same time I did and Mom drove home from her job the same time I left. So all was good. I, of course, had a job at minimum wage, since you know ex military no education and moving from being nanny. The last thing you need to know before the tale is that I did not have any want for a car. It caused major panic attacks and yes 21 yrs I still hate driving. But I do drive now. DL gotten eventually and I bought my first, second and third cars from my mother. 83 Skylark was a hand-Marcia-down. 84 Grand Prix was a Marcia-hand down, 87 Grand Am – hand Marcia down. Imagine my surprise when I needed a new car because I blew the engine up. The mechanic (put water in the radiator no antifreeze and 25 below – not good). My Neon was my first car. No negotiations for me. My mother floated the loan I watched her say less than 10k and no more. They salesperson looked at her and complied. Mom is fierce. When the Neon died it was heartbreaking to me. I loved that she got good mileage (I lived 26 miles from where I worked) and gas was cheap. I already knew where I needed to get my car from. Mom again was going to float the loan but I was going to pay the bills. So I went into the dealership, explained I wanted a used car, good mileage, big enough to be safe in the snow. NO stick and 10k or less. (it is 2006 at the time) Karl called me up we had 3 possible cars, none had low mileage on them, none made me feel safe and all of them were 12k. “Find me a program car, I hate PT Cruisers, so none of them”. While Karl was looking I went to the local Toyota dealership. I had spoke to some dork on the phone told him what i wanted. When i got there 3 other salesmen tried to grab me as a customer. I told him on the phone all my terms. I wanted to see/drive the Scion, I wanted to try several others. Fast forward 2 hours and now I am steaming because none of what he showed me was 10k which was my number. I said I liked the Scion, how low can you go. He came back with 15k. Mmm nope. I got up to leave, the finance guy stopped us as he was putting the keys away and I was walking out. The butthead had the nerve to ask him if I was getting the car and when i said no he actually said “you have to be realistic about what you can get and you need to budget this car in to your bills”. I looked him over looked around the dealership which was loaded with people and proceeded to extremely loudly voice “how dare you tell me to be realistic about my budget and find a way to afford this car they showed me when i told them before I ever got there what I wanted”. “If they did not have it when I walked in they should not have wasted my 2 hours.” I walked out. I picked up my 2005 PT Cruiser three days later at the original dealership because he not only got me life time free oil changes and a killer warranty he told me flat out that he only had a 13k cruiser and the next best thing he had was 15k which would put me over anything real for paying. I still have her and while I am not a complete fan of the cruiser my wench has taken good care of me.
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It is so absurd.
My number has a maximum, period. It’s not like I’m head over heels with a one of a kind item, it’s a bloody car! What do they make, like tens of thousands of each model a year? I was soooo angry at the first salesman. I guess The Mister wasn’t, but I was. I was out there on the lot, in the sun, sweating, constantly giving my numbers and he wasted my time.
Did you see my FB post about that dealer calling to ask how things had gone? I am so delighted!
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I HATE negotiating. I’ve never understood why they just don’t put the price they want on it to begin with and eliminate all the garbage. 🙂 I go on the shopping trips, have a side chat with my enforcer and then go sit in the car and read while they go through all the BS. Sometimes we buy and sometimes we drive away. Whatever. I hate the whole process. We’re looking for a new mattress right now – same thing different subject. 🙂
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I know you’re right! Where else is a price hidden?!? It’s ridiculous!
Mattresses, I’ve got a guy. LOL Thank the heavens! Good luck!
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That’s the way to stick to it, or they’ll stick it to you for sure, Joey. Sad how that can work. The bait-and-switch tactic to prospective employees indeed tells you so much about what will happen down the line. Good call on that one, my friend! When MDW Karen shops for her car, we try to go first on a Sunday or late night when we know the lot is closed, look at all the models and stickers, then return having researched THE ONE online. Then when the process starts, I tell the sales person to talk to Karen, I’m just along for the show. And they always come to me first. Sad. BTW those sticker prices sure are a shocker, always. Congratulations on your freedom! I love her name. Sounds like she’ll be a great friend for you. 🙂
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I am so pleased 🙂 thanks!
You know how it goes, the first guy made me appreciate the second guy even more!
I’m happy you see my point about salesmen dealing with women, Mark.
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