The Trauma of Upcoming Fun

Posted on June 27, 2015 by joey

Shopping and gathering, done. Phew!

Tiny cross body purse so no one can make me carry a goddamn thing

So help me God, if The Mister hands me a single receipt, I will imagine shoving it down his throat and I will be ripping it up

Six hundred gallons of dermatologist approved sunscreen so Sassy and I only get a little sunburn

A vat of aloe for when we get a little sunburn

Fifty lip balms with SPF6000

Nine hundred hats so our faces will forever look a decade younger than they are and no one will see our wild and crazy hair

Five thousand hairbands for when we just can’t stand our hair anymore

One tube waterproof mascara so when I sweat I won’t look goth

Some water

Potable_Water_Tank
Twenty pounds of fruit, because like water, but tasty, and with nutrients!

Ice, because frozen water

Goggles so Moo’s eyes don’t dry up and fall out

Sarongs so no one can see the thigh chaffing

Until we’re on the road, a million worries.
How much sleep am I getting? Half of what I should.

I put a lot of hyperbole here in this post, but I am not exaggerating my anxiety or stress level.

The trauma of returning to the south — Ugh.
I truly believe constant heat and sun added to, maybe even doubled my anxiety when we lived in Georgia. I am frightened that the heat and sun will trigger that anxiety. Perhaps some mild case of PTSD exists just below the surface of my freak-out…

I’m so excited to spend time with family and friends, but I’m seriously a wreck.
I realize many people think I’m being dramatic. People who don’t suffer similarly are surely sucking their teeth and thinking how absurd, or even ungrateful, I am. People think I can turn it off for vacation.
I cannot turn it off, ever, that’s why it’s Anxiety Disorder.

I keep telling myself, “it’s just a trip. made this trip a hundred times. not like we’re movin there again.”
I shall spend my days in gratitude: I’ll have many of my loved ones, air-conditioning, fans, shade, cocktails, seafood, coloring books, music, the healing powers of the sea…and I do so love a road trip!
As everyone with anxiety knows, I will be feel much better once I leave the house.

In the meantime, while I suppress my fear, I am glad for wine. Everything is so much better with wine, isn’t it? I’m totally not drinking wine at 6am, unless you think that’s fine, then I totally am. No, really, I’m still on coffee, but later, wine.

Are you hot just thinkin about it? Do you suffer from before-I-leave-the-house anxiety? Do you need a nap?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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66 Responses to The Trauma of Upcoming Fun

  1. Benson says:
    June 27, 2015 at 7:14 AM

    Take a deep breath. Hold it…exhale. Girl you sound a wreck. Maybe you need to cut out the coffee? I know it’s early but maybe;just maybe a bit of vino may help. You know for medicinal purposes only. Just a taste.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. hollie says:
    June 27, 2015 at 7:21 AM

    Wine does make everything better. I expedite the same kind of trauma leading up to a trip, except I only have to pack for two. I experience it when I get home too… Did I spend too much? Should we have gone to that place instead of that one? Why can’t there be an unpacking fairy?
    I’m hitting the road today but my destination is only two hours away. Owen is in a baseball tournament. I hear there is zero shade where it is at so I’m sporting a had as well!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Victo Dolore says:
    June 27, 2015 at 7:32 AM

    That is my kind of packing! The heat is misery unless there is a large body of water just steps away. I dread every summer here.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Norm 2.0 says:
    June 27, 2015 at 7:51 AM

    Pre-trip jitters seems to be a common ailment, I know lots of people who get like this before a trip. It’ll get better once you get on the road. Remember, vacations are to be enjoyed so: GO. HAVE. FUN.
    And consider this another vote for the vino as well 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. George says:
    June 27, 2015 at 7:54 AM

    Enjoy your trip. Take some wine for the road and have fun with your friends and family. You know what to expect so just go with the flow..:) Have fun

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Dan Antion says:
    June 27, 2015 at 8:10 AM

    Ha – you make it sound scary and fun at the same time. I hope you get on the road soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Jewels says:
    June 27, 2015 at 8:41 AM

    Preparing to leave for a vacation can be so stressful, even for those without anxiety disorder, so I can only imagine how stressful it must for you. I was thinking about you off and on yesterday after reading your post about going on vacation and was hoping that all the preparations were going well. Hang in there, Joey! Have I told you lately that I truly think you’re an amazing, capable, and hilarious woman? Seriously, your ability to cope with all sorts of things while living with anxiety disorder is an inspiration.
    “More wine!”

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Ritu says:
    June 27, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    Take it easy and enjoy your break!!! Chill, woman!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Carrie Rubin says:
    June 27, 2015 at 8:56 AM

    “Tiny cross body purse”—This made me laugh because I do exactly the same thing when I travel. Little purse that fits my phone, mints, money, and not much else. I refuse to be anyone’s pack mule on vacation!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Fourth Generation Farmgirl says:
    June 27, 2015 at 9:02 AM

    Love this post! I can totally relate to before-I-leave-the-house-anxiety! It’s awful! I’m an emotional wreck, especially coordinating care for four cats, two dogs, ten sheep, and ten chickens–not to mention a vegetable garden. Having control issues and OCD makes getting out of the house like an act of congress! I’m often heard muttering the words: “I really need a drink,” as I walk out the door. My advice: go ahead and have that wine. You deserve it! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:
      June 27, 2015 at 1:43 PM

      Thanks! It’s nice not to feel alone in these matters. I’m okay leaving the three cats, because you know, they’re cats. We’ll miss one another, but we’ll be fine. But I am struggling to leave the dog. I’ve never left my dog before! I know she’ll have a great time with the housesitter, but I’m going to miss her so much! Ugh! I’m jealous of the housesitter.
      Can you imagine if I had more animals?!?
      More wine!
      Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. edwinasepisodes says:
    June 27, 2015 at 9:06 AM

    Have a wonderful trip Joey.I bet you have a wonderful time, despite your worries. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  12. meANXIETYme says:
    June 27, 2015 at 9:51 AM

    This is kinda why I don’t travel so much, and there’s only two of us to coordinate and I damn well make Hub pack his own shit. But I still worry about the accommodations and whether I’ll be sick in the car on the way or if I’ll need a bathroom while we’re mid-smack-in-nowhere. When we get there I worry about being able to sleep and if we’ll be able to find gf food so I don’t get sick (plus I have tummy issues, so I worry about being sick during vacay). Then when we’re there I worry about the trip home. These days, we travel closer to home if we go away (and we always drive). I also worry about our dogs while we’re gone…
    Coming home presents new issues, but I’m pretty much always ready to come home no matter those worries.
    I have no doubt you’ll enjoy your trip once you get there. Safe travels to the whole gang and enjoy the vacay once you’re there!

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:
      June 27, 2015 at 1:47 PM

      I am so sad to leave Sadie. I know she’ll have a great time with the housesitter, but I’m going to miss her so much!
      Idon’t have the gf trouble, but since I’m not big on meat, I pack fruits and veggie stuffs I wanna eat. That about killed me when we drove north to move here, all the freakin meat places, and I just needed some light nutrition! I get the tummy issue-middle of nowhere thing, mmmmhmmm.

      Liked by 1 person

      • meANXIETYme says:
        June 27, 2015 at 2:06 PM

        Yeah, I pretty much can’t travel unless I bring food. I do know that if I stop at a fast food place, I can sometimes get a baked potato or a salad without croutons. But honestly, that isn’t too appetizing for me, so we pack food to snack on. And this past trip I pre-looked at local restaurants and found a bunch of places with GF menus. Turned out they were all owned by the same family and one of them had gluten issues, so we lucked out. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:
          June 27, 2015 at 2:19 PM

          That’s pretty nifty! I’m makin macaroni salad and celery with peanut butter and raisins for this trip. Of course, I made a hundred turkey sammiches for the people, to eat with their chips! 😛 lol
          I like a GOOD salad. A GOOD salad is hard to find at fast food! Baked potatoes? Nah, only at home. Somethin about Wendy’s baked potatoes reminds me of plastic. That cannot be good!

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Sammy D. says:
    June 27, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    Absolutely I understand. The high anxiety during the anticipatory/waiting/planning stages is almost always worse than the event itself. It doesn’t matter whether other people ‘get it’; it is all too real for you, and it’s awful to endure, like a ticking time bomb.

    I can tell you that a combination of new drugs, retirement, downsizing our too-large house, reaching mid-60s with time leaking away have all miraculously made that type of anxiety almost disappear. For some reason I can now visualize wrapping that anticipatory anxiety into the time block of the event itself so the ‘before’ anxiety doesn’t happen (as much anyway).

    So there is hope!! And wine!

    Liked by 3 people

    • joey says:
      June 27, 2015 at 1:50 PM

      Thank you, Sammy. It does matter that YOU get it. Downsizing helped me, too! Happy to have left behind 2200 sq ft of bright and light! And the floors! One day I will write about those floors!
      Not takin meds, but the wine…self-medication…you know, lol!
      It’s gonna be great, I just gotta get outta this house! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. garym6059 says:
    June 27, 2015 at 10:03 AM

    My advice on the anxiety drink plenty of wine, enjoy the seafood, and pray you get some unseasonable cool temps.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. LindaGHill says:
    June 27, 2015 at 10:08 AM

    I am so the opposite of you. I’m sure just thinking about how I get ready for a trip would cause you anxiety, so I’ll spare you.
    Wine. Sit. Close your eyes and breathe from your lower belly. The wait will be over soon and you’ll be so happy when you get there, this will all be a distant memory if that. Have fun, my dear. You deserve it. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Fannie Frankfurter says:
    June 27, 2015 at 11:06 AM

    Yes, I do have similar anxiety before trips and sometimes just before going to the grocery store.
    Best of luck. I’m sure everything will be fine.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:
      June 27, 2015 at 1:54 PM

      I almost always feel like this to go to the grocery store. About the only time I don’t feel anxiety before leaving the house is when I’m going somewhere spur of the moment. If I have a schedule, I’m a mess until my departure. Sorry, but also, thanks for being able to relate.
      I think I’ll write about this another time.

      Liked by 2 people

  17. John Callaghan says:
    June 27, 2015 at 12:01 PM

    Remember to not drink too much water or you will have to pee a lot. I hope this was helpful.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. darsword says:
    June 27, 2015 at 12:22 PM

    I SO get it. I’m getting it while thinking about an overnight tonight just to doggy sit my grandpuppies at my daughter’s. I had it last weekend to visit my son and the beach. All my energy goes into the getting ready. Life is so much better once I’m there.

    Funny, I never get it about coming home though I have to pack the same amount of stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. La Sabrosona says:
    June 27, 2015 at 2:53 PM

    Ahhh you speak the truth woman. This is my life every morning trying to get the kids out the door down the elevator and to the bus stop. So there’s the stressful/anxiety-ridden routine stuff and then the one-off trips (like you’re embarking on), but the anxiety is pretty much the same. I cope by swearing (a lot) and sweating (not really my choice), but I can appreciate your feelings. You are absolutely not alone in your reaction to stress (and someone was circulating an article on “good stress” the other day). I really don’t think “good” and “stress” should be in the same sentence let alone side by side. Enjoy vaycay!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      June 27, 2015 at 2:57 PM

      Thank you! Right? Gah. Good stress is still stress. I’m not sweating and swearing, I’m just virtually naked and grunting a lot — which is usually more fun…

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Petal and Mortar says:
    June 27, 2015 at 5:48 PM

    I always panic that I’ve left doors unlocked or the stove on, or I’ve forgotten to unplug things and there’ll be an electrical storm. Also, I do a massive tidy because if we die tragically on holiday, I don’t want people judging my housekeeping skills. I’m a wreck by the time we leave.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. robertmgoldstein says:
    June 27, 2015 at 6:30 PM

    I never leave the house without my camera. When I feel a panic attack coming on I look at something through the lens and starting shooting.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. DanicaPiche says:
    June 27, 2015 at 6:34 PM

    Wine makes everything better! I’ve had this advice from a few different directions in as many days! Must be true. I hope your trip goes well and I love the tiny cross body purse strategy :).

    Liked by 2 people

  23. cardamone5 says:
    June 27, 2015 at 11:12 PM

    YES! Before (what if things out of my control happen and I freak out), during (OMG, I am not sleeping, I need to be home, is it OK if I leave the day I get there, I don’t care what people think, what if people think less of me if I leave), and after (thank God I am home, why didn’t I enjoy myself more, why did I have to ruin things by freaking out, what must people think of me?) It’s all happening, the yin and yong energy, oops sorry that’s what the instructor on my yoga dvd says.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      June 28, 2015 at 5:52 AM

      LOL Yep!
      Sleep has been elusive now for about a week. I had four hours last night, and that was spooning my cat like infant co-sleeping! I will be okay once we leave, and I will enjoy myself plenty 🙂
      Thank you for commiserating! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Josh Wrenn says:
    June 27, 2015 at 11:15 PM

    People who don’t show you understanding can F off.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Sherry says:
    June 28, 2015 at 11:07 AM

    sounds like you are all set! Breathe!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. markbialczak says:
    June 28, 2015 at 5:40 PM

    I do get anxious, Joey. That’s why I check that I have my wallet and all important trip papers so many times. Seriously. Please enjoy to the maximum ability.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Anxious Mom says:
    June 28, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    ((hugs)) I hope you have a safe trip.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. April says:
    June 29, 2015 at 8:53 AM

    Yep….let the wine flow. I like your idea about the small purse, I wish I would have thought about that long ago. My husband has tons of keys on his keyring. I wonder if he knows which key fits which lock–minus the house and the car of course.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. abundance in the boondocks says:
    June 30, 2015 at 1:10 AM

    Happy travels. Can’t wait to hear a tale or two about them soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. reocochran says:
    July 1, 2015 at 12:52 AM

    I totally understand being overwhelmed
    I had 3 kids and they were born within 5 years. It seemed as a single Mom, all of the world rested on my shoulders. Once snacks, clothes, “blankies” and pillows were packed, I would feel a big sigh of relief. Hope you felt this moment and breathe in deeply the “air of vacation,” Joey!!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Matt Roberts says:
    July 6, 2015 at 12:54 AM

    When don’t I need a nap.

    Liked by 1 person

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