SoCS — Rings

Posted on July 11, 2015 by joey

When it came time to get married, I didn’t wanna wear a ring.
Like, I know it’s a thing people do, but I’ve never been a fan of rings. I’m not really a jewelry person.
I’d met some people who had tattooed wedding rings, and I thought that was pretty nifty, but no one else did. I don’t have any tattoos, and I’m not really a tattoo person, but still, pretty nifty.

I decided to use my mother’s mother’s mother’s ring. It’s white gold and has five settings, the birthstones of her children, and the baby she lost. My cousin’s wife took it in and had one setting changed so that the stones actually represented our birthstones, our children’s birthstones, and Drew’s. I thought that was quite clever. I always say I’m going to go and get the settings changed, add Sassy and Moo and one for the baby we lost. I seldom wear that ring, so I seldom think about it.

At our wedding, my judge friend was supposed to officiate, but his mother passed, so stupid random substitute judge went on about my gold band (uh, white gold, but sure..) and Christ’s bond to the church (why does he think we got married outdoors with a judge?) Did I mention we should’ve eloped? If I have one honest regret, it’s that.

I didn’t wear my wedding ring much at all for about a year. Then one day I was out with Bubba, Sissy, Simon, and another child, and I realized that the salesclerk was looking for my wedding ring. To this salesclerk, I realized I looked about 15, with four kids in steps from at least two different baby daddies.
Simon always looks like my love child.
I decided to wear my wedding ring.
Really, I wished I could wear my birth certificate and my college diploma, but what’s a girl to do?

Eventually, I was pregnant, and pregnant again, so I really hated rings, and shoes, and clothes, and anyone touching me. I didn’t swell or anything, but I think my touch threshold was slim. I wore my father’s plain gold band then.

In contrast, The Mister wore his ring faithfully, until he somehow managed to fry it on a car battery, searing his skin and warping his band. I can’t judge him too much, I still get burned while I cook.
I bought him another band, just a cheapy silver thing, but he cleaned it in the gold jewelry cleaner, because man.

When we got to Ft Stewart, wedding rings were this really big deal. (Anything that showed status was a really big deal.) Some other Army wife at a party told me, “He could die, and you don’t even have a diamond from him!” Good gravy. Least of my worries.
The following week, The Mister bought me a diamond ring. It’s lovely. Antique looking, platinum setting, dainty. I wore it religiously for years, God forbid he died without giving me a diamond. I sometimes wear it, even though last year, one of the smallest diamonds fell out and I haven’t had it fixed.

During this time, The Mister did not wear his wedding band, which was okay, because he worked with lotsa mechanical shit. Eventually, in personnel, he began wearing his third band, titanium, and we all joked about his sudden and recent marriage.

In 2008, on our anniversary, The Mister gave me a peridot ring, set in two-tone gold. I love it. I wear it a lot.
That ring was cleverly purchased in a ruse. Per The Mister, True called to ask me about how to determine her ring size. I recall standing in my kitchen, thinking she’d lost her mind, “No your ring size isn’t the same as your shoe size just because mine is. That’s just how I remember it.” It was a bizarre conversation which didn’t make sense for days. You know, until the ring showed up.

I’m still not a ring person. I often go out in public without a ring on, and I no longer care what assumptions people make.
Rings get in the way of gardening, massages, washing my hair, sewing, cooking, especially baking…

I just found out that before our wedding, my evil aunt despised the idea that I’d ever get hold of my other grandmother’s rings and insisted they be returned to her. I guess it should hurt my feelings, when in reality, I could not care less. I think it may have hurt her brother’s feelings, though.
I got the painting, and that’s all I wanted.
I don’t recall my grandmother wearing anything but a plain gold band. I don’t think she cared much for stuff and things.

In our experience, gold, silver, or platinum — rings don’t endure the way a marriage does.

rings

SoCS is a Saturday blog topic run by the ever-inspiring LindaGHill, all are welcome to play along.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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39 Responses to SoCS — Rings

  1. irenedesign2011 says:
    July 11, 2015 at 3:04 PM

    I know several people who wear their wedding ring in a necklace, so they feel more comfortable to work without it in the finger.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan Antion says:
    July 11, 2015 at 3:29 PM

    The Mrs doesn’t wear hers much because it gets in the way. I wore mine all the time but it stated cutting the circulation. I actually let my wife cut it off (serious trust). She’s got them both in a bag somewhere. I’ve had a couple of women think I was single when I went to the wrong kind of bar for dinner while traveling but not usually random sales clerks.

    I like the whole drama over who gets someone else’s belongings. I guess every family needs that relative in the crew.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      July 11, 2015 at 3:32 PM

      There’s at least one in every family! lol

      Moo had to have a ring cut off in the ER two falls ago. The doctors tried all the tricks, broke two tools, and eventually had to pull out a Dremel tool. I agree you had to trust your wife, as I had to trust a stranger with my child.
      The Mister gets swollen joints at times and takes his off. But usually, that’s at home.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dan Antion says:
        July 11, 2015 at 3:43 PM

        That’s funny. I asked a jeweler about getting it cut off. He said it would be $50 and picked up his Dremel. I thought “heck, I have one of those” and decided use the $50 on dinner. She did a good job. I can still count to 10.

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:
          July 11, 2015 at 3:45 PM

          LOL! She did, and so did that doctor. Our portion of the bill was about $250, not the least of which was $35 in Motrin, lol, but we really do like all of Moo’s fingers!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. edwinasepisodes says:
    July 11, 2015 at 4:02 PM

    I LOVE rings. I can only wear my wedding ring to work though .but as soon as I am off I put mmy others on as well! Funnily enough, today at work we had to cut one of our patient’s rings off as she was so swollen, She had worn them for 58 years and it was really sad for her, When her husband visited though he joked that as he was no longer married he would go out on the pull tonight in town! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LindaGHill says:
    July 11, 2015 at 4:07 PM

    I had rings from all of my marriages… they’re all in my jewelry box… What’s meaningful is love, damnit!
    I’m linking this post to the prompt. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mltrautz@yahoo.com says:
    July 11, 2015 at 4:22 PM

    “He could die, and you don’t even have a diamond from him!” really? What were you thinking? I mean isn’t the only reason you would marry a man is for the material things he gives you? (Sarcasm in case you did not know) I love your term…. Good gravy!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Sherry says:
    July 11, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    Parker hates rings but wears his wedding band religiously. I love rings and wear three give or take and would happily add more. Parker thinks wearing lots of rings is showing off something or other. So I especially love to wear a thumb ring because that really bugs him…tee hee…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      July 11, 2015 at 4:32 PM

      My mother loves rings, as does Moo — some people are jewelry people! I don’t think of it like showing off, just showing the world what you like! 🙂

      Like

  7. Anxious Mom says:
    July 11, 2015 at 4:40 PM

    Beautiful rings. I’m not a jewelry person either, so it’s rare that you’ll catch me with my second wedding band on (since I lost the first and avoid wearing the engagement ring because it’s expensive and I lose shit). I did use to wear a ring I have with the garnet birthstone of the first baby we lost but got tired of being asked about it. And I sure got my share of reactions when I was pregnant with BG and had LM in tow. No “you look too young” looks, just “you irresponsible whore” heehee.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:
      July 11, 2015 at 4:44 PM

      AHAHA! I’m kinda glad you relate. But I think you look too young, still!
      I never had an engagement ring, or a proposal, really. People seem to think I’m really missing out, but I don’t see it, lol 😛
      One of my friends has a gorgeous diamond band, designed by her husband, and she won’t wear it often, too afraid to lose it or get mugged! Can’t say I blame her!

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Benson says:
    July 11, 2015 at 4:41 PM

    What a truly sweet post. I may be a jaded old fart but I can still appreciate romance and love and stuff. I agree with your sentiments about what is important in a relationship and it sure ain’t no metal band. Regardless of what Beyonce’ says.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. dalecooper57 says:
    July 11, 2015 at 6:46 PM

    We don’t do rings either.
    When we got married, I used my late father’s signet ring and my wife used an old ring – only costume jewelry, but stunning – of her grandmother’s,
    It seemed like a good way of having people there we wanted but could not have with us on the day.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jen from MyAlternateUniv says:
    July 11, 2015 at 8:15 PM

    Cool story!! I love the way you open a window into your world with your words and images – I feel like I’m right there with you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sammy D. says:
    July 11, 2015 at 9:27 PM

    Pretty peridot!! I’m not much for rings either. Rings and bracelets make me hot and necklaces get too heavy on my neck. I love all your ring stories. We don’t have any jewelry heirlooms to tussle over.

    I didn’t want an engagement ring the first time around, but former MIL insisted on giving me a solitaiire diamond (she REALLY wanted her troubled son to marry!).
    The second time around, Me – the ever practical frugal one – said to current Hub, “I don’t want an engagement ring and I already have a diamond ring I no longer wear. Why don’t we design a wedding band for me with the diamond inlaid, and a matching band for you without a diamond.” That’s what we did.

    Now neither of us wears them. Even without weight gain (!), knuckles swell with arthritis.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      July 11, 2015 at 9:56 PM

      It’s funny, and I suppose fortunate, but the last two fingers never give me any trouble, on either hand. Thumbs, either, now that I think on it.
      I think your idea was a fabulous one, and absolutely practical and frugal! (And so personal, as well!)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Samara says:
    July 12, 2015 at 12:46 PM

    I’m probably just an old jewelry whore, but I would have LOVED to rock an obnoxious five carat diamond ring when I was married. I’d probably have gotten my hand cut off since I lived in New York city.
    But the whole “what if he dies and you never got a diamond from him” – that’s just bizarre.

    Love the peridot ring. Gorgeous.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Petal and Mortar says:
    July 12, 2015 at 1:13 PM

    Mister and I both have lovely wedding rings, and he gave me the most beautiful vintage engagement ring. I managed to ding two prongs in the first two weeks. I wore them on and off and about a year ago, we both decided it just wasn’t us. So we’ve stopped wearing them, much to MIL’s dismay. I wear mine when I’m playing dress-up-and-go-out-without-child.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. markbialczak says:
    July 12, 2015 at 9:41 PM

    I always wear my cool titanium band wedding ring, Joey. Until I lost it and MDW Karen bought me a replacement cool titanium band because I was so pissed at myself and, you know, missed it. That made me find the original at the bottom of my T-shirt drawer immediately, so sheepishly handed the replacement back to Karen and put the cherished original band back on. Good thing she slipped No. 2 quietly into her jewelry box because I lost the original again last winter when I was working on the furnace. Still haven’t found it this time, but the stand-in looks good. I know it’s around this house somewhere!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. cheflauracerullo says:
    July 14, 2015 at 4:44 PM

    Hi there! I really liked learning about your experience and that of yours with your newly accepted family members haha not always a fairytale but it sounds like you guys know the secrets to make it work perfectly for you! Cheers! Nice read!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. cardamone5 says:
    July 17, 2015 at 8:42 AM

    I also regret not eloping.
    Even though this post is a few days old and I am just reading it, it is very timely to me because I just turned in my engagement ring and both my grandmas’ engagement rings to have a three stone ring made. I wasn’t sure my hubby would approve, but, like you, jewelry and who gave what to whom, are not his top priorities so he said if that’s what I wanted to do, go for it. I haven’t gotten it back yet, but I am excited and nervous I made a mistake because on stone is really big and like you, I always have my hands in things and wonder if I’ll stop wearing it for this reason whereas my engagement ring was not so big that I had to take it off during such activities. Anyway, nice post.

    Fondly,
    E

    Liked by 1 person

  17. April says:
    July 21, 2015 at 8:44 PM

    I love my rings, but I do leave home without them because I have to take them of for most of what I do all day,

    Like

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