I realize I was vague in my post about conflict and how The Mister and his ex deal with it, but I promise you, the conflict had nothing to do directly with either of them, and no I won’t share details, because on this blog, you will never read about the big things that impact my life in a negative way, because this blog is about anxious me reporting the good stuff, finding gratitude in the small things, bouncing back, moving forward with humor.
I also realize this puts me in the camp of people that many pick on, like I’m pretending to have some perfect life, showing you only sunshine and roses, but if you’re actually reading me regularly, I think you’re aware that there’s no pretense here. You’d really hafta to be a sorta special naive to think my life is without rain and thorns. It’s not my entire life that you’re reading, but rather, the spin I put on bits and pieces of it.
To quote an internet favorite, “YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!”
(Unless you’re one of the 12 people who know my life.)
Before I continue with more time spent with the ex, please take into account that even before so much water went under the bridge, all of our children have always had more adults to love them.
Imagine that.
Imagine the ex and I standing side by side, laughing, watching grown Bubba climb up a slide.
“I’m totally laughing, because five-year-old Bubba would so yell at grown Bubba, because that’s not how he’s supposed to do it.”
“I know, right?”
“Hahahaha!”
Imagine us all at hospital bedsides.
Imagine us all at birthday parties and Thanksgiving dinners.
Imagine me calling her about whether I should use the plastic panties for potty training.
Imagine me taking a photo of little Sissy with both of her biological parents. Do you know how rare that is for children of divorce? I DO.
Imagine us sharing countless meals and long chats into the night.
Imagine her holding little Sassy and Moo.
No, it is NOT all fucking sunshine and roses, don’t be ridiculous. But it’s a lot more that than otherwise, because we are mature enough to at least attempt to find common ground.
Now, enough with the disclaimer — Onward! as we visit the home of The Mister’s ex’s parents for an evening of relaxation! Yes, my husband’s former in-laws, you read that right. Tight ball, yes, I know.
This was one of my favorite times on our trip, and you’ll soon see why.
There were homemade mojitos. I’d never had a mojito, but I gotta say, I could drink those all day, every day. Mint grows wild there, and you can smell it in the air. Well, I can.
There was spicy crab dip. Y’all, I do not even know what’s in that, but if someone offers you some spicy crab dip, you gotta try it. That’s one of the best things I’ve ever put in my mouth! I say Goddamn!
They served low country boil and we had a grand ol time discussing names for crawdads and types of crab and shrimp. Like, do you know how stone crab is harvested? Yikes!
Sidenote on the low country boil:
A waiter asked us pale people where we were from and we said, “Indiana.” Then he asked us what our plans were later that evening and I said, “Low country boil.” He then asked me what that was and I countered, “You dunno low country boil?!? Where are you from?!?”
“Iowa.”
“Ahaha, okay.”
I explained it and he said it sounded good. Good? YUMMY!
I ate and drank in a screened enclosure while the kids swam in plain view. That is so vacation-y! That hasta be the most vacation-y of vacation-y stuff! Then I swam, too. We talked and laughed and commiserated until late in the evening. I’m just sayin, I had a really, really good time. I had no anxiety, I was not hot, I was blissful.
Do you think if it’s not in the blog, it doesn’t happen? Do you understand how even though it’s unconventional and weird, extended broken family + or – dysfunction x shared love ones to the nth can = happiness? Do you love mojitos? What’re you snackin on?
PS: I am currently munching on a snack suggested by La Sabrosona. Sassy and I are in love with it!
cream cheese, tuna salad & hot sauce on crackers
joeyfullystated 
I think it’s great that you and your hubby get on so well with the ex and the ex in-laws! I know things would have been a hundred times easier for my brother if that had been the case with my dad and new stepmom.
I googled how to harvest a stone crab and watched the video on YouTube. 😮
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:O Right? Wow!
And thanks, we think it’s best to be a team on the things we agree on, anyway 🙂
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You’re right-those types of relationships are rare and it’s unfortunate for everyone involved. Yay for maturity!
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YAY! Can we celebrate with mojitos? 😛
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Sure! I’m partial to pineapple mojitos but really there’s no bad mojito.
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Ooh, I love pineapple! *sets new goal* lol
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cream cheese tuna salad and hot sauce….I’m thinkin
this could work.
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What am I snacking on? Vodka tonic, with lime.
“Do you think if it’s not in the blog, it doesn’t happen?” Love this post because it eases my mind, gives me permission to *NOT* write stuff. Not that I promised that I would, but I’m aware that I’m not telling the whole story and I’m aware of feeling fraudulent becausa that.
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Vodka tonic with lime, but of course.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about keeping certain things, whatever things, offline. It’s your blog, and you have control!
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If adults can get along after being ex’d, I say more power to them. Turning a bad thing into a good thing. What could be better in life. Los country boil – yes. Crab dip – yes. Crackers with tuna, cream cheese and hot sauce – dunno but if give it s try.
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My mouth waters! And bravo for doing the very best so that your families get along as best as possible. This is wonderful. Happy summer to you and your loved ones.
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To you too, thank you!
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That crab dip looks like it is something I would fall in love with! People look at us a little funny when we are all together, and it hasn’t been without bumps, but Owens got all kinds of love. Sure, they aren’t my favorite people in the world but we share my Owen. It makes me feel good when his two girls want to get on the phone and talk to me. I’m so glad you all can be reasonable adults and not let squabbles get in the way of sharing a family!
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That’s the way of it, more love is always a good thing!
That crab dip was phenomenal! I tell you, I’ve been feenin for it since! 😛
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Well I think that a good relationship with exes is commendable. No kid has ever been loved too much. I love boils. Outstanding that you used both crawfish and shrimp. Mojitos are probably the only rum drink I am partial to,because of the mint. I love crab dip. A big bowl of spicy crab dip and french bread with a few mojitos sounds like my kind of vacation.
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Gawd, Benson, it was all fantastic! Nothin like hosts who are foodies for me and have a pool for the kids! PopPop, we call him, made the mojitos, made the boil, and both were delicious! The crab dip was from a seafood counter.
You had any spicy crab dip around here?
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I haven’t seen any around here. There was a joint downtown that had it but they took it off the menu.It is pretty simple to make. I have made one to serve hot for a couple of joints in the past. I am sure as hip as you are around a kitchen you can come up with a recipe. Suggest that if you do you use claw meat,it’s cheaper and a bit sweeter.
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I’ll have a looksee online. You know I just wanna go buy it, though, right? lol
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It sounds like a fabulous time. And, you’re right! Why question it–just be thankful and enjoy. 🙂
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I am still friendS with my first ex, who has known me for 41 years. His wife and I are so close, sharing grandchildren and so much more. I never pick on my ex, but I always support his present wife. So, this is a different perspective or “spin” on your story but the really cool thing is: Joey, you know being friends with the “ex” sets such a great example to everyone!!
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Thank you Robin 🙂
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You are so open and to me, yoi show a real person. One who is like the rest ofus, omperfect and having many facets. No one can accuse you of being too sunny! I forgot to say your food and the drinks, mojitos, looked delicious 🙂 I had to go get something to snack on.
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Well thank you again! I am certainly authentic, as are you. ❤
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So glad you got to try out a mojito, they’re my favourite summer drink 🙂 Well that and Pimms, and G&T. I’m not an alcoholic or anything…And that crab dip looks amazing!
You know, I’m not a fan of facebook specifically because it feels like a popularity contest, with people putting on a show of her perfect their life is, and seeing who gets more likes and what not. I hate that. Blogging feels much more real, and even if people post about the good things in their life, it doesn’t feel like that same sort of ‘look at me and how perfect my life is’, you know? I think blogging is a very positive environment generally so I think it’s great that you seek out the good things in your life and share them here. Plus it will be lovely to look back on in a few years 🙂
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Thank you for the affirmation 🙂
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I don’t need to read any of the other stuff here, Joey. You go as far with stories as makes you feel comfortable. That’s the point of it being called … wait for it … JoeyFullyStated. YOUR blog. By the way, it’s obvious that you live a normal life of ups and downs and love with all of the attending ooches and ouches that goes with it. I for one dig you and your family. Thank you for sharing what you do.
I have the two-sides thing going for my now-adult Elisabeth. And when the three sets of parents, with her boyfriend George Three’s Sue and George Two included, are all together to celebrate those kids, I can tell they’re pretty darn happy about it.
The Mister’s ex-in-law’s sound so great. That meal and the mojito’s say We Still Love Ya perfectly.
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It sounds as if you have got the relationship with the Mister’s ex and her family pretty sorted! It is not easy, but is so great for the kids.
I think your blog is great as it is, and it is up to you what you want to share! 🙂
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I’ve never mentioned this on my blog and probably won’t blog about it. But your post does inspire me to share this little factoid here. I’m still very good friends with my first partner, we speak to each other at least twice a month…I am also married to a delightful woman and I live in an apartment across from her’s with my current partner who is male. There are all kinds of ways of making families and loving people. We don’t stop loving a person even if we’ve changed in ways that make it impossible for us to share our lives with as a couple.
My wife and my partner and I have coffee together at least three mornings a week…we enjoy each others company.
It’s not perfect, we also argue– and there have been times when we’ve hurt each other. This is the way it is, I think for most people. What you describe is not only admirable, but civilized.
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I couldn’t agree more.
I’m friends with old beaus, too. I don’t think I’m capable of unloving. I forgive and move on. Doesn’t mean there isn’t space in my life for the person I didn’t match with. Life is too short for it.
And isn’t it funny? There are lots of things I don’t blog about, but I feel okay putting a lil here and a lil there in the comments of others when it fits.
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Right–I’ve never read a post by anyone else who feels this way–and of all of the weirdness that I blog about–there are just some aspects of my life that I don’t want to open up to other people’s opinions.
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Mouthwatering food
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The mojito looks good, but the fishy stuff isn’t. There, I divulged my dislike for anything that comes from salt or fresh water. I think I would have mojitos for my low country boil.
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