It’s too hot. It was sixty-six degrees when I took Moo to her bus stop at seven o’clock, but the air is dense with humidity and my hair frizzed-out before I even left the porch.
In addition to all my other motherly duties, I now also serve as a sorta early hair warning system for Sassy. I opened her door and said, “Button, it’s morning time” and Sassy said, “Oh wow, so I guess I won’t bother straightening my hair today.”
We seldom have days over 90F/32C, but when we do, they’re mostly in August. August is the month I start sayin things like, “I need me some barn jacket weather!” and “I miss snow!”
But then, look what only happens in August…
At least the bumblebees aren’t afraid of my hair.
The Mister and I are both Sagittarius, so we have a lot of Leo friends, and I love the parade of August birthdays. I love all the Leos. (Shh, Leos are my favorite.)
But August is expensive. For us, August is more expensive than December. The crippling expenses of August are many and include both the OH YAY monies and the GRUMBLE GRUMBLE monies.
For instance, paying for license plates, GRUMBLE GRUMBLE. Back-to-school shopping, GRUMBLE GRUMBLE.
Then there’s the state fair, OH YAY!
I freakin love the state fair. If it were a holiday, it would be my favorite. I will totally walk around miserably hot for the state fair. And fuck yeah, I will pay a cover charge to eat overpriced, so-bad-for-me fair food. I’ll start with the cheese curds, then a pulled pork sammich, and do I want a basket of fries or should I get an ear of corn dripping with butter? Did you see the size of those onion rings? Fried okra? Fried mushrooms? Fried pickles? Maybe I should just have s’more cheese curds. Ooh, a caramel apple! Are those homemade cordial cherries?!? Oh, what I need is a funnel cake with powdered sugar! And maybe some more cheese curds? Yeah. And let’s find a place to sit down, because my $90 Coca-Cola is so heavy, y’all. It’s hot, we should get some ice cream.
It’s not just that I wanna be fair-food fat, either. I hate shopping, but I actually have trouble not shopping at the state fair. I love unique, handmade things. I mean, doesn’t it seem like I should already own an intricately burned-out leather satchel? How have I lived without that? Wouldn’t that look great with this wallet made entirely of recycled paper? Why don’t I have a tree house with a deck and a patio set for my squirrels? I know it’s August, but where else could I find hand-knitted giraffe gloves?!? I want a lamp made out of Fiesta ware, so let’s just be glad I don’t have any place to put it! I cry over wooden furniture, but if you offered to buy me a piece, I wouldn’t be able to decide on one.
“Omalord, that is an entire booth dedicated to vintage calicos! Do not look directly at the fabric! You do not need fabric!”
I don’t buy things at the state fair. I suffer in my self-control.
And I’m all about petting and feeding the farm animals, climbing into agricultural vehicles, talking to beekeepers and buying lotsa local honey, studying mind-blowing quilts, learning obscure things, gawking at the art, browsing the antiques, sticking my head into photo holes, people watching, and oohing and aahing at callas that loom over my head. Seriously, over my head.
The Mister and I married in August, so when we’re not bitchin about how hot it is or how expensive things are, we like to bask in our bliss this time of year. At the mere mention of August, we display some kinda conditioned response like automatic hand-holding and makin googly eyes. Yes, it is nauseating, and as such, you should amply prepare yourself for the ooey gooey love shit that gets blogged here when that special day arrives.
We try to get away or at least get alone for our anniversary, OH YAY! freeing us to do disgusting things to one another, because lust love, sweet love, dirty, dirty love.
What’s August like for you? Are you a Leo? Which month is your most costly? Do you love gettin fair-food fat?
I gave birth to a Leo, who will be 19 on the 20th, so I have grown to like them (I’m a Pisces) 😀
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I have one Pisces friend. One! I’ve kept him for more than 20 years tho, so he’s a good fish, as you must be as well.
(water & fire, well…you know…)
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You get a lot more out of the state fair than I did. I’ll have to try harder next year. I can taste the cheese curds now…
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I just love it 😀
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Funnel Cakes!!!!! Mmmmmmmm! Every year it is a rodeo staple (there is a big fair attached). We get the funnel cakes then watch the performance One year we had these really rude people in front of us, but they got theirs because the wind came and blew our powdered sugar all over them!
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LOLOLOLOLOL! Oh that is sweet karma, Josh!
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It really was, one of our favorite family stories.
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My daughter is a Leo, her birthday is tomorrow. We have to hang out at the fair! I can drop college tuition payments on carnie food!
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I think I’m gonna go today. Depends on Sassy’s homework load. I don’t wanna go on the weekend, but I am a little tempted to wait for Thursday’s weather — supposed to be much cooler! But then, by Thursday, it could all be a lie, lol!
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You mean to tell me Indiana weather changes on a whim? No frigging way!
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LOL I knew you’d know what I meant, not a lotta people would 😉
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Oh, yeah, I do miss the Minnesota State Fair. Roasted corn on a stick. Mmmmm.
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Mmmmmhmmm
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Love the fair, but we’re upset that we have to miss the free Pat Benetar concert. We’ll still go eat fair food, but aren’t available that night.
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Oh pity. She’s a groovy chick, but why didn’t she consult y’all before she scheduled?! I haven’t been to a concert at the fairgrounds since I was in high school, but I have fond memories of several.
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We get a few every year, and they’re always fun. It just wasn’t meant to be this year.
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My first born is a Leo. I am a Gemini. I rather like August. I know it is hot and humid and miserable but it is a prelude to September, the harbinger of Football. Yeah I like the State Fair with all of its food and stuff. I just don’t go because I would have to go several days to do it justice.
Besides I can get cheese curds in an air conditioned bar.
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WHERE are you getting delicious, piping hot cheese curds, please?
Football, icky.
Geminis are awesome, too, I have a lot of Geminis in my life as well 🙂
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20 Tap on College; nice place or Brothers in Broad Ripple. The rest of their food sucks but they have decent curds and good drink specials. And Football is not icky.
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Football is icky.
Thanks for the tips!
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Try this out
http://www.twentytap.com/
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I can make a meal outta those starters! Thanks again!
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Just leave me at the taco truck…
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Taco trucks, not so much here.
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Damn you Hoosiers!
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Mmm, well it’s not really Midwestern fare 😉
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Who doesn’t love fair food? I tried visiting my brother for the Iowa State Fair but the already expensive flights connecting nowhere, CT with nowhere, IA were super expensive in August. I guess I have to wait until I retire and can drive out. I don’t have enough hair to be concerned with humidity, and we have that all summer, so it’s not a big deal. Post those lovey posts, but don’t be offended if I just hit the like button and move on like I didn’t really see anything.
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LOL! Noted.
It is a real bummer when flights don’t connect affordably from place to place, I agree. Bummer. But think of all the deep fried retirement joy you’ll have, Dan!
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If I make to the Big-E this year, I’ll give you all a rundown of the New England State(s) fair.
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😀
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I want to go to that fair and try some of that food, it sounds delicious to me. May and June are the most expensive months for me as there are so many birthdays! August is when myself and Mr Grump got married as well, in fact our Anniversary is in a couple of days. It is a great month! 🙂
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Mmmm… Fair food. You could deep fry my shoes and I’d pay a million dollars to sprinkle some powdered sugar on them, eat them, and then walk around barefoot for the rest of the day so long as it was at the fair.
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LOL Fantastic! Thanks!
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This gives me an idea for a start-up biz: We could start our own Poutine stand (cheese curds with fries and gravy) and tour the state fair circuit. We’d make a killing, whaddya say?
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We actually have a restaurant offering Poutine here now. Like, three variations! I was shocked!
I ate Poutine at several places in Quebec City and never thought it was magnificent, but I think it will do well in the Midwest, because fries, cheese curds, gravy, seriously! You could make a killing!
I kinda wonder why we don’t already have it at the fair!
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Wow! All that fair food sounds wonderful! 🙂
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I like deep fried Mars bars. I’m not sure if you have Mars bars down there, or you have them but they have a different name. Anyway, it is diabetes inducing and delicious.
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Well, it’s a lil complicated. Mars bars here have almonds. But if your Mars bars are like the UK, they’re closest to our Milky Ways. I seldom eat candy, but I understand your affection for deep fried treats.
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Our Mars bars are like the UK ones. You have impressed me with your knowledge of candy. I love candy. I want to eat all the candy. I want to make out with candy. I would like to make a baby with a candy bar.
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My friend Tracey is in Edmonton, and she is a chocoholic, so I am required to be educated in these matters.
I’m not sure about the severity of your needs, but I’m hoping you get some candy soon, John.
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Your kindness is appreciated.
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Thanks so much for giving August a much nicer face! To me it always means my last few weeks of staying up too late and sleeping in! I like your take better and I really love funnel cake!
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School started here on the 5th, so I’ve moved past the mourning period. The sleep sure was good!
Thanks for commenting 🙂
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I can’t wait to see your fair photos, and I can’t believe how long your lasts! Our fair is like a weekend or a week at the most. Most people yak about the food but you know what makes me shake with fear and curl away with a little revulsion? Those Carney Barkers – the guys who harangue you to toss the rings and shoot the ducks and beckon you into those tents to see people who are even weirder than the Carneys themselves. They used to give me the heeby jeebys in the same way Scout used to be attracted and repulsed by Boo Radley. I knew I’d be in DEEP trouble with Mom if I went anywhere near those Carneys, but I couldn’t turn my eyes away from them. Trouble with a capital T !!
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LOL! Thanks for sharing your unusual story! I’ve not been harangued, but I’ll keep a watchful, peripheral eye!
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Ooh state fair. Ours isn’t until mid-October. I tried a corn dog at ours a few years ago and nearly died, yum!
December is usually our expensive month between Christmas presents, my birthday, buying Sam’s birthday gift, hosting a party. And more often than not we go ahead and grab part of LM’s bday since his is just around the corner.
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I wish our fair was in mid-October — gosh that’d be ideal, really! So much cooler by then!
We have two birthdays in December, (The Mister and Moo) but August is still more costly.
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You’re killing me here, Joey! Since moving to AZ I don’t go to the state fair. I tried it once here and 110+ degrees…no can do…not even for deep fried cheese curds! And a little trivia, I’m Sagittarius, my honey and I were married in August, and our most expensive month is spring. Make that months. Baseball months 😀
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Baseball months, ah, gotcha!
I wouldn’t go to the fair in 110 degrees, either! I’m not sure if it’s ever been 110 here! I do remember 106, but still, rare. Thanks for sharing your similarities 🙂
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Have a blast! And don’t forget about the braided leather bracelets. You need them 😀
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Fairs fairs and more fairs! Everything you mentioned as well as all the gadgets. The knives that can cut through a tailpipe and never need sharpening…the shammies that can soak up a sinkful of water…some of the rides too especially at night when all the lights come on!
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Oooh, I don’t do the rides anymore, but I remember 😉
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It’s crazy hot here too. And very busy. Lotsa birthdays, one after the other. We are fully booked now until the fall.
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My sons are Leos so, yeah, I love them. August is expensive, but, then we do weird things like go to the mall on a perfect pool day and buy ourselves each something we want (in my kids case, more back to school clothes they could care less about..school starts Sept. 9 for us) Sept is our anniversary so the gooeyness syarts about now. And our town has a much smaller scale fair which everyone but me loves (lots of rides and bad food. No animals or vendors) But what I love most about my bloggingfriends like you is that you remind me to appreciate things I normally dismiss, so thanks. I’ll be more on board with the Peach fest this year.
Fondly,
E
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That’s nice 🙂
When we lived about 90 minutes from Savannah, we would make the monthly trip into the city and everyone got something. Then we’d fill up at a restaurant and head back home.Those were actually great Saturdays 🙂
Too bad your Peach Fest isn’t more fun.
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Thank you for the many chuckles. My birthday is in November, and we were married in August. Is there anything worse for you than fair food? And is there anything that tastes near that good? No and No.
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Hey, I’m a Sag, too, Joey. Small world. August isn’t that expensive for me up here. October is a biggie. My dear wife Karen’s birthday, and our anniversary!
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Yay for Sag!
I hope y’all do up October real big 😀
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Yes, we do October up RIGHT.
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😀
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I’m a Leo, just turned 50 on the 14th, and I have a family filled with Sagittariuses, funny! I love the fair too, ours starts on Thursday. Gosh some cheese curds sound amazing right now…
🙂
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Yeah, you Leos are fabulous for me!
Cheese currrrds 😛 Get you some!
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