The GRUMBLE GRUMBLE and OH YAY of August

Posted on August 17, 2015 by joey

It’s too hot. It was sixty-six degrees when I took Moo to her bus stop at seven o’clock, but the air is dense with humidity and my hair frizzed-out before I even left the porch.

humid bunny[1]
In addition to all my other motherly duties, I now also serve as a sorta early hair warning system for Sassy. I opened her door and said, “Button, it’s morning time” and Sassy said, “Oh wow, so I guess I won’t bother straightening my hair today.”

We seldom have days over 90F/32C, but when we do, they’re mostly in August. August is the month I start sayin things like, “I need me some barn jacket weather!” and “I miss snow!”

But then, look what only happens in August…

11899971_10153554811188236_9024909739708024271_nAt least the bumblebees aren’t afraid of my hair.

The Mister and I are both Sagittarius, so we have a lot of Leo friends, and I love the parade of August birthdays. I love all the Leos. (Shh, Leos are my favorite.)

But August is expensive. For us, August is more expensive than December. The crippling expenses of August are many and include both the OH YAY monies and the GRUMBLE GRUMBLE monies.
For instance, paying for license plates, GRUMBLE GRUMBLE. Back-to-school shopping, GRUMBLE GRUMBLE.

Then there’s the state fair, OH YAY!

2015barnswebsitelive

I freakin love the state fair. If it were a holiday, it would be my favorite. I will totally walk around miserably hot for the state fair. And fuck yeah, I will pay a cover charge to eat overpriced, so-bad-for-me fair food. I’ll start with the cheese curds, then a pulled pork sammich, and do I want a basket of fries or should I get an ear of corn dripping with butter? Did you see the size of those onion rings? Fried okra? Fried mushrooms? Fried pickles? Maybe I should just have s’more cheese curds. Ooh, a caramel apple! Are those homemade cordial cherries?!? Oh, what I need is a funnel cake with powdered sugar! And maybe some more cheese curds? Yeah. And let’s find a place to sit down, because my $90 Coca-Cola is so heavy, y’all. It’s hot, we should get some ice cream.

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It’s not just that I wanna be fair-food fat, either. I hate shopping, but I actually have trouble not shopping at the state fair. I love unique, handmade things. I mean, doesn’t it seem like I should already own an intricately burned-out leather satchel? How have I lived without that? Wouldn’t that look great with this wallet made entirely of recycled paper? Why don’t I have a tree house with a deck and a patio set for my squirrels? I know it’s August, but where else could I find hand-knitted giraffe gloves?!? I want a lamp made out of Fiesta ware, so let’s just be glad I don’t have any place to put it! I cry over wooden furniture, but if you offered to buy me a piece, I wouldn’t be able to decide on one.
“Omalord, that is an entire booth dedicated to vintage calicos! Do not look directly at the fabric! You do not need fabric!”
I don’t buy things at the state fair. I suffer in my self-control.

And I’m all about petting and feeding the farm animals, climbing into agricultural vehicles, talking to beekeepers and buying lotsa local honey, studying mind-blowing quilts, learning obscure things, gawking at the art, browsing the antiques, sticking my head into photo holes, people watching, and oohing and aahing at callas that loom over my head. Seriously, over my head.

photo from Dave's Garden

photo from Dave’s Garden

The Mister and I married in August, so when we’re not bitchin about how hot it is or how expensive things are, we like to bask in our bliss this time of year. At the mere mention of August, we display some kinda conditioned response like automatic hand-holding and makin googly eyes. Yes, it is nauseating, and as such, you should amply prepare yourself for the ooey gooey love shit that gets blogged here when that special day arrives.
We try to get away or at least get alone for our anniversary, OH YAY! freeing us to do disgusting things to one another, because lust love, sweet love, dirty, dirty love.

What’s August like for you? Are you a Leo? Which month is your most costly? Do you love gettin fair-food fat?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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62 Responses to The GRUMBLE GRUMBLE and OH YAY of August

  1. NotAPunkRocker says:
    August 17, 2015 at 11:46 AM

    I gave birth to a Leo, who will be 19 on the 20th, so I have grown to like them (I’m a Pisces) 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      August 17, 2015 at 11:57 AM

      I have one Pisces friend. One! I’ve kept him for more than 20 years tho, so he’s a good fish, as you must be as well.
      (water & fire, well…you know…)

      Like

  2. Carrie Rubin says:
    August 17, 2015 at 11:47 AM

    You get a lot more out of the state fair than I did. I’ll have to try harder next year. I can taste the cheese curds now…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Josh Wrenn says:
    August 17, 2015 at 11:57 AM

    Funnel Cakes!!!!! Mmmmmmmm! Every year it is a rodeo staple (there is a big fair attached). We get the funnel cakes then watch the performance One year we had these really rude people in front of us, but they got theirs because the wind came and blew our powdered sugar all over them!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. garym6059 says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:04 PM

    My daughter is a Leo, her birthday is tomorrow. We have to hang out at the fair! I can drop college tuition payments on carnie food!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ellen Hawley says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:17 PM

    Oh, yeah, I do miss the Minnesota State Fair. Roasted corn on a stick. Mmmmm.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. coldhandboyack says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    Love the fair, but we’re upset that we have to miss the free Pat Benetar concert. We’ll still go eat fair food, but aren’t available that night.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Benson says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:21 PM

    My first born is a Leo. I am a Gemini. I rather like August. I know it is hot and humid and miserable but it is a prelude to September, the harbinger of Football. Yeah I like the State Fair with all of its food and stuff. I just don’t go because I would have to go several days to do it justice.
    Besides I can get cheese curds in an air conditioned bar.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lies Jack Kerouac told Me says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:32 PM

    Just leave me at the taco truck…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dan Antion says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:54 PM

    Who doesn’t love fair food? I tried visiting my brother for the Iowa State Fair but the already expensive flights connecting nowhere, CT with nowhere, IA were super expensive in August. I guess I have to wait until I retire and can drive out. I don’t have enough hair to be concerned with humidity, and we have that all summer, so it’s not a big deal. Post those lovey posts, but don’t be offended if I just hit the like button and move on like I didn’t really see anything.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. edwinasepisodes says:
    August 17, 2015 at 12:59 PM

    I want to go to that fair and try some of that food, it sounds delicious to me. May and June are the most expensive months for me as there are so many birthdays! August is when myself and Mr Grump got married as well, in fact our Anniversary is in a couple of days. It is a great month! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. naptimethoughts says:
    August 17, 2015 at 1:11 PM

    Mmmm… Fair food. You could deep fry my shoes and I’d pay a million dollars to sprinkle some powdered sugar on them, eat them, and then walk around barefoot for the rest of the day so long as it was at the fair.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Norm 2.0 says:
    August 17, 2015 at 1:28 PM

    This gives me an idea for a start-up biz: We could start our own Poutine stand (cheese curds with fries and gravy) and tour the state fair circuit. We’d make a killing, whaddya say?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      August 17, 2015 at 1:48 PM

      We actually have a restaurant offering Poutine here now. Like, three variations! I was shocked!
      I ate Poutine at several places in Quebec City and never thought it was magnificent, but I think it will do well in the Midwest, because fries, cheese curds, gravy, seriously! You could make a killing!
      I kinda wonder why we don’t already have it at the fair!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Fourth Generation Farmgirl says:
    August 17, 2015 at 4:47 PM

    Wow! All that fair food sounds wonderful! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. John Callaghan says:
    August 17, 2015 at 7:38 PM

    I like deep fried Mars bars. I’m not sure if you have Mars bars down there, or you have them but they have a different name. Anyway, it is diabetes inducing and delicious.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Nancy says:
    August 17, 2015 at 9:25 PM

    Thanks so much for giving August a much nicer face! To me it always means my last few weeks of staying up too late and sleeping in! I like your take better and I really love funnel cake!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sammy D. says:
    August 17, 2015 at 10:28 PM

    I can’t wait to see your fair photos, and I can’t believe how long your lasts! Our fair is like a weekend or a week at the most. Most people yak about the food but you know what makes me shake with fear and curl away with a little revulsion? Those Carney Barkers – the guys who harangue you to toss the rings and shoot the ducks and beckon you into those tents to see people who are even weirder than the Carneys themselves. They used to give me the heeby jeebys in the same way Scout used to be attracted and repulsed by Boo Radley. I knew I’d be in DEEP trouble with Mom if I went anywhere near those Carneys, but I couldn’t turn my eyes away from them. Trouble with a capital T !!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Anxious Mom says:
    August 17, 2015 at 11:14 PM

    Ooh state fair. Ours isn’t until mid-October. I tried a corn dog at ours a few years ago and nearly died, yum!

    December is usually our expensive month between Christmas presents, my birthday, buying Sam’s birthday gift, hosting a party. And more often than not we go ahead and grab part of LM’s bday since his is just around the corner.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      August 18, 2015 at 7:30 AM

      I wish our fair was in mid-October — gosh that’d be ideal, really! So much cooler by then!
      We have two birthdays in December, (The Mister and Moo) but August is still more costly. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Angie Mc says:
    August 18, 2015 at 12:01 AM

    You’re killing me here, Joey! Since moving to AZ I don’t go to the state fair. I tried it once here and 110+ degrees…no can do…not even for deep fried cheese curds! And a little trivia, I’m Sagittarius, my honey and I were married in August, and our most expensive month is spring. Make that months. Baseball months 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  19. DanicaPiche says:
    August 18, 2015 at 2:10 AM

    Fairs fairs and more fairs! Everything you mentioned as well as all the gadgets. The knives that can cut through a tailpipe and never need sharpening…the shammies that can soak up a sinkful of water…some of the rides too especially at night when all the lights come on!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Jay says:
    August 18, 2015 at 9:42 AM

    It’s crazy hot here too. And very busy. Lotsa birthdays, one after the other. We are fully booked now until the fall.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. cardamone5 says:
    August 18, 2015 at 9:43 AM

    My sons are Leos so, yeah, I love them. August is expensive, but, then we do weird things like go to the mall on a perfect pool day and buy ourselves each something we want (in my kids case, more back to school clothes they could care less about..school starts Sept. 9 for us) Sept is our anniversary so the gooeyness syarts about now. And our town has a much smaller scale fair which everyone but me loves (lots of rides and bad food. No animals or vendors) But what I love most about my bloggingfriends like you is that you remind me to appreciate things I normally dismiss, so thanks. I’ll be more on board with the Peach fest this year.

    Fondly,
    E

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      August 18, 2015 at 10:09 AM

      That’s nice 🙂
      When we lived about 90 minutes from Savannah, we would make the monthly trip into the city and everyone got something. Then we’d fill up at a restaurant and head back home.Those were actually great Saturdays 🙂
      Too bad your Peach Fest isn’t more fun.

      Like

  22. Judy @ NewEnglandGardenAndThread says:
    August 19, 2015 at 8:28 PM

    Thank you for the many chuckles. My birthday is in November, and we were married in August. Is there anything worse for you than fair food? And is there anything that tastes near that good? No and No.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. markbialczak says:
    August 24, 2015 at 6:45 PM

    Hey, I’m a Sag, too, Joey. Small world. August isn’t that expensive for me up here. October is a biggie. My dear wife Karen’s birthday, and our anniversary!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Jewels says:
    August 25, 2015 at 5:02 PM

    I’m a Leo, just turned 50 on the 14th, and I have a family filled with Sagittariuses, funny! I love the fair too, ours starts on Thursday. Gosh some cheese curds sound amazing right now…
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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