Everyone’s always goin on about the search terms that bring people to their blogs, and mine are boring. People love pretty pussy and I get a lot of traffic for combating head lice. I got somethin last week about head over ass, but that’s about as interesting as it gets. However, I do get bizarre, mean, and lewd comments and emails. I just don’t approve them or respond.
It’s best not to feed the trolls.
The Mister complains of verbal trolls in his online class forums, “They never pick a battle. They pick all the battles!” he says. I laugh. We commiserate on how some people never do learn not everything is worth a fight, or how it’s okay to let sleeping dogs lie, or rather, to let people walk around thinking what they think like the idiots they are.
The Mister’s perspective differs slightly from mine, because I think about young people from a teaching standpoint.
“Isn’t it nice that life hasn’t beaten the passion out of them yet?” I ask. We laugh.
I think even cynics can agree, no one likes a person who plays devil’s advocate all the time. No one likes a person who will come at you, guns ablazin’, purely on the basis of semantics.
Not everything is a See Something Say Something moment.
When I was little, my father read “Three Billy Goats Gruff” to me with all the voices. I loved it. I had no idea that I would so often encounter trolls as an adult.
The joy robbers, the thunder stealers, the pick-up artists, the one-uppers, the hyperbolists, the martinets, the nit-pickers, the @-ers, the haters, the weirdos — at least they keep things interesting as we cross the bridge to eat the tasty grass. Prolly not a lot of adventure in Utopia…
How many Anonymous Trolls live in a utopia?
Lemme tell you, we’re not livin in a utopia and Anonymous Trolls think the whole damn internet is their bridge.
Anonymous Trolls tell me I’m self-absorbed, illiterate, a dirty whore, nobody, a narcissist, an alcoholic, a shitty mom, a redneck, a precocious child. Anonymous wants to do me on the beach in Sarasota. Anonymous feels bad for my husband, because I am a selfish cow. Anonymous tells me my food looks gross, and that I am the ugliest blogger on WordPress. Anonymous says I lie about my age, have cold sores from sucking everyone’s dick, and that I am an attention whore. Anonymous wants me to know I am exploiting my children and exposing them to immorality, and that I will burn in Hell. Anonymous tells me my eyes are beautiful, my skin the perfect canvas for his ejaculate, sends me links, offers to come to Chicago to photograph my feet.
Sometimes I think Anonymous Trolls know me and use my Contact Me like an honesty box to avoid confrontation. Most of the time, I think Anonymous Trolls are strangers without impulse control. Online, you never can tell. Catfish, you know.
This is how The Mister and I got to the One-Liner that will never be Wednesday’s:
“Oh my God, you’re not one of the guys who wants to see my tits, are you?!?”
“No, I am, I just don’t email you about it!”
Then we laughed and laughed.
“no one likes a person who plays devil’s advocate all the time”—Yes, it can be exhausting can’t it? I enjoy a good debate, but as you say, not everything requires one.
As for your trolls, they’re far more explicit than the few I’ve had are. Guess I can count myself lucky in that regard!
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I enjoy debate as well, but not constant, and certainly not repeating the same topics, beating the dead horse. It’s tiring!
I count myself lucky, too, because I’ve been privy to the trolls of others.
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I agree, it helps to ignore them 🙂
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You have had some pretty disgusting and savage trolls Joey. Best thing to do is starve them, oh, and laugh at them.
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No doubt I always laugh.
Especially since trolls often have trouble with spelling! 😛
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Funny that! 🙂
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I always respond to even the most obscene trolling with a variation on the theme of; ” Well, thanks for your input, I’m glad you took the time to comment on something you so clearly hated. Go on, admit it, you love me really”
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LOL!
I envy your sense of humor!
I always do think that, though, not just on my own stuff, but for others, even. People who do such things seem so committed, don’t they? Like, I can’t even be trusted to text back in a timely manner, and there they are, trolling strangers! 😛
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It’s certainly shows a dedication to their “art”, that’s for sure.
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Here’s my take on the malicious little keyboard warriors…
http://diaryofaninternetnobody.com/2013/12/08/one-mans-commenter-is-another-mans-troll/
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Quite right.
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Wow what awful people. I’d probably quit blogging if I had that bullshit posted/in my inbox.
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Give it time 😉 and don’t you dare!
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Funny you posted this today, because this morning I figured out who the person looking for my info is. No threat.
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That IS ironic 🙂 — and I’m glad!
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Me too!
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Wow I can not believe anyone could possibly write anything nasty about you or your posts. Clearly those ass wipes know nothing of truly mean women. Your are right to ignore them,I suppose. Any one who writes stuff like that lives in anonymous ignorance, and comment would merely encourage them. I do like your Mister’s line, straight and to the point.
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Thank you for the support, Benson.
And yes, The Mister minces no words. 🙂
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Hoooooooooly shit. Wow. This is awful. You handle much better than I probably would.
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Being a woman on the internet is VERY different. You might would develop a thicker cyber skin in a matter of weeks, or you’d fall into depression…
Can’t let the bastards get you down 😉
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I have so much respect for you.
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Well thanks 🙂
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Holy crap – I know that ignoring them is better than engaging and giving them the attention they crave, but it can’t be easy when they so clearly need their asses kicked.
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Hah, yup!
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Ignore the trolls. Good approach. Should I be jealous though? Nobody wants to take photos of my feet. I mean, I got feet.
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I dunno. Is there a market for female foot fetish? It seems like there would be, but I’ve not heard of it. And really Dan, do you want to objectify yourself like that? I’ll happily sell photos of my feet, but letting someone else photograph them, well, that has certain unseemly implications. I can’t imagine you want in on that…
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I don’t. Really, no.
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I guess one nice thing about this is that they truly are anonymous. You don’t have to live in the same house with them. They aren’t your neighbors (hopefully). And you can leave their abusive comments sitting in limbo, without ever approving them. Too bad the same isn’t true for some non-anonymous trolls.
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Right? It’s hard to take such commentary seriously when it comes in such a cowardly way.
I rarely encounter the brazen, named troll. And when I do, I still ask myself WTF and ignore it.
Thanks for the great perspective 🙂
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Sometimes I think I was happier in the world before I knew there were trolls. I really thought they were just in fairy tales. But no they live somewhere in cyberspace. Your trolls are some nasty beasts. My search terms aren’t usually that good btw. I did like “creepy doll poems” because that was quite apropos. But generally they are pretty boring, asking for somebody else’s website (who I have written about) or how to write memoir.
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Your trolls are nasty, Joey. Horny, too. Egads.
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you’re delightful…trolll # 673….that’s me…
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My heart broke a bit when I read about those trolls.
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Everybody hates your trolls, but I wish I had trolls who were that funny. I mean, you can’t take any of that B.S. seriously, and with my sense of humor, I think it would be fun to come up with some interesting responses… maybe even a few limericks. But most of my trolls are just scammers — usually Russian for some reason. 🙂
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Well I do laugh about them. Especially when they think me a child, and with the spelling atrocities…
But no, I don’t reply.
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Well, my idea of fun is probably not the same as yours. 😀
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I don’t get internet trolls, I get real life one’s. Life’s a bitch.
However I do get some of the most twisted fuck’s of search engine terms and currently appear to be being stalked by Russia on a daily basis. (Awesome, right?)
Some of my best search terms?
“fucking say goodnight”
“sister xxx with blood”
“Russians in thongs”
“breast milk playing”
“nude Aunties expressing breast milk”
*and the one that kept me up a few nights..
‘hairy nurse body wash patient happy ending”
So freaks find me – but ignore me on the internet. I’m working on a method to stop them from finding me in real life, but I’m related to most all of ’em (so fuck me, right?)
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Jeez. You get some freaks yourself, Meg!
Yeah, my relatives definitely quietly stalk me here. I hope they enjoy it 😉
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I kinda want to know about “fucking say goodnight”. Lol, sounds like something I would say, but not google? I mean why would you google some of these things…?
I once googled “do chicken’s have vagina’s” because my kid’s think I’m retarded. They did NOT believe me when I told them where the eggs come out.
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Where did they THINK they came from?!?
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chicken VAGINAS ? Dumbos…
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I checked with my kids, just to be sure. We’re good 😉
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HAH
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