My WordPress community is so good to me, so understanding and accepting, I almost forgot what a weirdo I am.
But then my in-laws came over to remind me.
I emailed a link to my creepy story to them the other day, so when they stopped in last night, I asked if they liked it.
They didn’t get it.
I asked if it was because they didn’t know what an earworm was, and no, they didn’t, but they got puzzled by the mental health references.
*long sigh*
Fortunately MIL brought me some chocolate-covered coconut which helped some. At least they love me enough to try to understand.
When they left, The Mister asked me why I was upset.
Well, so many things, but basically it boils down to the unsettling feeling of not being understood. That’s a terrible feeling. It reminds me of being that weird girl in school.
The Mister was never that weird girl in school, so he can’t really relate.
Don’t think I was some sorta outcast or something — I wasn’t. I had plenty of friends, dates, and a schedule full of activities. I was just always oddly uncool, as I am now.
Now, here on WordPress, lotsa people seem to understand me. Seem to really get me. I am grateful for people who really get me. I have a consistent audience, which makes me feel the exact opposite of being that weird girl in school.
I am still her though.
As a writer, I am so much her.
I struggle with how much to tell. As an author, it’s important to make sure you’re readable, but at the same time, you don’t want to insult your reader’s intelligence. Carefully, I clue.
My style simply doesn’t lend itself to short sentences and easy clarity. No, I write with multiple layers of imagery and subtlety. I assume my readers are well-read, and therefore, every bit as knowledgeable as I. I assume they follow my metaphorical trail of breadcrumbs.
See? Can’t even.
I think too much, I feel too much, I see too much, and if prompted, I say too much.
I accepted this early on. No sense pretending. No good dumbing down. Much better to be authentic, attract the right people to begin with. This is who I am. I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I will never be, not as a person, not as a blogger, not as a fiction writer. I am unsuitable for mass consumption. I have accepted this, and most of the time, I take pride in genuinely being me.
So let me thank you, Dear Readers, for being so understanding and accepting. Extra special thanks to those of you who read, understood, and even enjoyed my story this last week. It means the world to me.
>insert all the hearts here<
Do you struggle with how much to tell and show? Were you a weird kid? Are you a weird adult? Does your family even get you?
joeyfullystated 
The deal is, in our wordpress communities, we are surrounded by creative, intelligent people who see “weirdness,” not as a handicap, but as a gift, which of course it is. We are so lucky that the world wide web allows us creative folks to find each other. It is incredibly rewarding and empowering.
Bottom line, you rock. Smart people know it.
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I really appreciate that, Cindy. Only a really cool chick would scale a wall to catch a photo at the right perspective 😉
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All. The. Time. I’ve had a lot of people not “get” the fiction on my blog. They say I’m too subtle, or that I’m simply in my own little world. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
I really really have to read your short story. Obviously waiting until I’m alone and in the right mindset isn’t going to fly… 😛
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I very much enjoy your fiction blog, so I must be in your own little world with you. Thanks for commiserating.
And no, you must go read it right now, in whatever your frame of mind is! It’s very short. Not quite flash, but short 🙂
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Hahaha! Great story. I love how it all came together at the end. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your in-laws didn’t enjoy the movie, Alien…
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I’m just me. Some people get me and some don’t. I’m even different on different days, and my writing reflects this. I decided long ago to make myself happy first. Everyone else is invited to come along, or not as it suits them.
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Quite wise. Even I can sense the fluctuations in your mood and tone. You’re right, of course.
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Hell my family gave up years ago. They didn’t even begin to accept me until I hit 40. I wasn’t really considered weird,more odd. By students and some teachers alike. Girls really seemed to like me. Probably because of the “oddness”. Who knows what a woman actually likes;at any age. And yes I have to constantly check my self. I talk too too much. Wife number one said that I talked so much just to hear my own voice. But..now where were we? Yes you probably are weird compared to some folks. But so what. They can be weird compared to others. I say let your Freak Flag Fly.
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Women like whatever they like for as long as they like it, no more, no less.
*Flying the Freak Flag*
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Always.
With people in my school, they say I seem normal enough from a distance but just can’t place me when they do get to know me slightly better. With those outside of my tight circle of about 2 people, I have this constant stream of things I’m approving and rejecting as regards to what to say/do and what not to. I suppose it should be exhausting but its not really, simply a way of life. With my writing however I don’t pay much attention to what I reveal usually. I do however debate over what to restrict to a loaded metaphor and what to say outright…
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Your last sentence is exactly what I mean.
Thanks for sharing your own way of coping. I must admit, as soon as I read you, it was obvious you’re older than your years and much more perceptive than your peers.
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I’m just catching up on posts from the last few days and haven’t read your earworm story yet, but I’m sure I’ll like it cuz I like everything you write. 🙂 I have trouble embracing my own weirdness sometimes, but it’s mostly only when I’m worrying about what other people think – which is more often than I’d like to admit. But those closest to me love and accept me just the way I am, and they’re the only ones who really truly matter anyways, right? And the bottom line is… it’s always best to be authentic and genuine. Thank you for being real, Joey! ❤
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Thank you, Jewels. As usual, you are a cool breeze come in from the south. I like that you like everything I write, because I like everything you write too. At least we have THAT goin for us!
I don’t know that I want acceptance so much as to be understood. Understand me, and then don’t like me. But if you can’t understand me…uh…
Weirdos unite, I guess 🙂
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Fortunately, my husband understands me. My kids aren’t old enough yet to get that they have *that* mom. Soon, though, soon….
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Ah, yes.
I have two fairly weird kids, or so they say 😉 I hate it for them, but then, I think it’s nice to have company 🙂
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Yes. Yes. Definitely yes! Sometimes. Everyone is weird in their own weird way. BTW, your creepy story was awesome. I love the earworm being an actual earworm idea.
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You kinda didn’t hafta tell me you’re weird. But see, you are weird LIKE me, so of course you understood. If you were not weird LIKE me, then I wouldn’t immediately recognize your sarcasm and spite, but I’m with you all the way.
Thanks, Josh.
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In high school most kids thought I was on dope – I wasn’t! Huge imagination, shy and withdrawn – is that weird?
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Yes, I think that is weird. As high school definitely pointed out, being a raging extrovert who thrived in conformity was the way to measure a person’s worth, was it not? 😉 LOL
But then, I like your kind of weirdness, too, Jan, soo…
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I think you’re in the right company. To be honest, I consider myself a bit weird, as well. ^^
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I agree you’re weird 😛 I’ll keep you.
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As a band geek, I was the epitome of weird. Luckily, my family ‘gets’ me, at least most of the time. As for the in-laws, not so much. Their loss.
Stay weird.
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Thanks for sharing 🙂
And what instrument?
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The euphonium (baritone)…it was about as big as I was. Yeah, I was a chick-magnet.
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You are cool beans in my book. And yes, believe it or not, I was a weird kid and an even weirder adult. And remember, often, to be suitable for mass consumption you have to appeal to the lowest common denominator of intelligence, and we have enough of that in the world already.
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Today, you are my favorite. I crown you and hand you the scepter of ultimate weirdness. You’re absolutely right, enough of that. Enough! ENOUGH! Thank you, John! 🙂
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You are so welcome. Blessed are the weird for they shall inherit the blogosphere.
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Amen.
I mean, Om.
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What a sweet post. I think we can all relate. While I’m more of a concrete writer myself, I can usually understand the works of those who enjoy using metaphors and abstract concepts. Usually. Sometimes poetry trips me up…
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We all — writers? We all — WordPress users? We all — Introverts?
I would love to be a clear and concise writer in the same way I’d like to be an extrovert — seems like life would be easier as. But alas I am not. Woe is me. 😛 Heh.
I love purple prose, in balance. Poetry, good poetry thrills me 😀
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My ‘we’ was inclusive: all writers, WordPress users, introverts, and any other oddballs like me . 🙂
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Hehe! OKAY! 😀
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Weird girls are the best, Joey.
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Yeah? I’ll make do 😉
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I am weird too, and frequently, feel out of place among others. Sometimes it is disquieting, and anxiety-provoking. Other times it is fine. I couldn’t have come out of my background without being weird. It’s part DNA, and part experience. I hide out a lot to avoid that anxiety, but you are right, blogging connections validate that differentness and provide a nice balm, not to mention friendship. I am glad I found you, and others, many of whom commented above.
Fondly,
Elizabeth
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I liked your story too. I found it gently eerie and sad. The ending made me smile a bit…and I thought that was odd…oddly good.
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Thank you, Danica 😀
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I should have commented earlier! I was reflecting on my reaction to the ending…it seemed inappropriate or unkind (my reaction, to be clear).
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No, really, I welcome your feedback anytime.
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I am a bit weird too Joey. I worry about all sorts of unnecessary stuff. I blab too much, and I laugh inappropriately!!
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And see, I was immediately drawn to your voice, and subsequently followed you!
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And I am so glad that you did! 🙂
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Not only do I get you, I worry when I start to read a post like this that it’s leading up to a “I’m going to change” or, worse, “I’m going to stop” moment. I actually skimmed down to the bottom to make sure this wasn’t ending with “goodbye.” You’re weird because you take in everything that is around you. You put it in context. You allow your imagination to wander. You give yourself the freedom to express yourself without worrying about whether of not you’re weird. You realize that you can tell stories and explain feelings and emotions to others in a way that is entertaining as well as informative. I wish I could be as weird as you. The WP community is so understanding. People here appreciate that we are trying, almost as much as they appreciate our success.
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Thank you, that’s very kind. I am glad to count you as a member of my community.
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Dan what a nice comment! WP is awesome, I have to say…great, supportive community and so many unique individuals.
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I think weird is what makes us interesting and colorful. Who wants to be beige? 🙂
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I embrace my weirdness as an adult since I couldn’t really appreciate it at as a kid. Blogging helps for sure. 🙂
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Right? Thanks 🙂
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My in-laws don’t really get me either (but they are still nice also!) I think your blog is great and I’m sure YOU are great! What is weird anyway? What is normal?? I like smart, interesting people so if that’s weird oh well 🙂 I get the “feeling too much” thing. I do that pretty often myself but I say even though it’s hard on us sometimes it’s pretty cool other times. I think people are craving “authenticity” instead of just “on the surface” so please stay you!
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Thanks for the encouragement, Deb. It seems odd sometimes that ‘strangers’ are a better audience than loved ones.
I can only be me 🙂
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I think loved ones have a fixed image in their minds of who we are, and so when some new side of us comes out or we zig when they think we will zag they don’t know what to do with it, or wonder what is wrong with us!
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I think you’re pretty damn cool. That might not be much of a compliment considering it’s coming from someone dorky as hell.
I get what you’re saying about finding your place where you’re understood. My husband upset me the other day but suggesting that it was impossible for me to every connect with people in real life (a post I’m working on), but it’s so different online.
To answer your questions–weird kid, weird adult, and no one outside my husband and mother-in-law gets me family-wise.
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I don’t know that my husband gets me. Not in a literary way, anyway. But he’s supportive, and that goes a long way. We are all alone on our paths, really, but it’s nice to encounter such a broad scope of people whom I connect to, even if so many of them are ‘just online.’
I will take compliments from dorky as hell readers, yes I will. Thank you 🙂
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Being creative and original is never bad. All great thinkers: astronauts, scientists, inventors, writers, artists. . . At least you didn’t cut off an ear like Van Gogh. Lol
Supportive husband kids and others surround you and love you, Joey.
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Hi Joey, I didn’t do too many comments since I got yo Mom’s on Friday. I just read your story, sorry lste. I wrote a comment and don’t see it. Is there a time gap in it getting accepted?
I felt your ending was perfect. The earworm needed to be in where it ended. Either out of that persons guilty conscience or actually consumed it should be there. I thought the story was fantastic and clever. In laws usually treat you like family and say blunt things. I know they love you. ♡♡ Your hubby, the Mister, and kids do plus ALL of us!! 🙂
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Thanks, Robin. I’m glad you liked it.
The hostesses of the site changed it from WordPress to that other place, and I’ve not been too pleased with how well it works. Several of my own comments never appeared either.
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Your comment appeared 🙂
That was like, the best comment ever, Robin! I smiled from ear-to-ear! THANK YOU!
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I meant it and Thank YOU, Joey. 🙂 I have become more myself over time and I am weirder than I was when I was uoung.
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I have always described myself as a weird and, recently, someone called me on it. “How are you weird?” That stumped me, as no one had ever questioned the assertion before. Pushed to put it into words, I said, “I just never felt like I fit in with other people.”
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Stay true to yourself Joey! Your “weirdness” is what makes you cool, besides EVERYBODY knows in laws are cray cray.
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you are our special Joey and we love you to pieces….:)
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*gush gush*
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Yeah, not suitable for mass consumption kind of hits home. I forget sometimes and slip into unfiltered enthusiasm. Then I see the familiar looks and I know I’m losing my audience and I’m reminded people appreciate unadulterated Steve only in small doses and I reign it in. I’ve spent much of my life either minimizing my interactions with others (I’m an INFP) or tempering and modulating my interactions with others.
I’ve also spent much of my life being as goofy as I wanna be. 😛
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Ah, well thank you for chiming in! I appreciate your poetry, lamentations, photos, blurbs…Goofy is good for me!
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WordPress is a good community, and you’re a charter member. I’ve never considered you weird – I’ve always thought of you as frank. Old word, but it seems to suit your posts because you say what you feel. If someone doesn’t like that, they have options. But according to your stats over 4,100+ people have signed up to read your posts so that’s a pretty big statement. I’ve been weird all my life. I only wish I was rich and then I could be eccentric. 🙂 Write on.
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I appreciate that, I like being called frank. And I don’t mind that it’s an old word, because I love old things.
I’ve been aiming for eccentric for years now — maybe the writing will help! lol
I think most of my readers are people who know me and don’t want me to know they read me 😉 Quiet group.
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I read your creepy story and I tried to comment on the site but it wouldn’t submit for some odd reason. This is the comment I wanted to submit: My words are like scrambled eggs this morning, but I like the mental health references and the twist twisted my brain like a pretzel. Very twilight zone. love it 🙂
You are so cool, you’re like a walking block of dry ice, smoking up the atmosphere with your coolness. Maybe there’s a Bon Jovi song playing in the background too. Oh I know, your WP fans are walking behind you as you shake your head and your hair flips from side to side in the wind and someone’s holding the ghetto blaster and we’re holding placards that read “Your Joey can suck an egg. Our Joey is The Coolest. So there!” xxx
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Well that’s just a fantastic compliment, lol! You made me laugh and blush all at once! x
Sometimes the comments come up later. I think they approve them all individually, so I may see it at some point. Not all of them post, though, because some of mine didn’t. I don’t know why they took that site off WordPress.
I’m so glad you understood the mental health references. Maybe my readers are biased, but oh well!
Thanks again!
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I am learning Spanish on Duolingo app. Today one of the sentences I had to translate was “You don’t understand me!” I said it in both languages with a definite whine in my voice. I definitely understand your sentiment. Every day is a struggle, but I think the best thing is to try to understand ourselves. That is the first step!
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Tu me entiendes! Thanks, Manee 🙂
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Si!
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I can so relate with this! I feel weird and out of place most of the time. Not everyone gets me, in fact, most people don’t. It can be a really isolating experience when it seems like no one understands. I’ve also found a community through blogging and it’s such a relief to know that I’m not alone!
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Thank you for sharing that! This community is so safe and refreshing 🙂
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The fact that they didn’t get your creepy story and understand the term earworm ain’t great, Joey, but you figured in your heart they wouldn’t ahead of time, didn’t you? But the fact that the IL’s get you enough to bring you chocolate-covered coconut as a complete surprise, that’s a fantastic takeaway from this day in the life of Joey Motern. I think. But I have my quirks, yes, I do, and it does bug me as well when people I wish were in the circle don’t get me.
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Oops Mottern. Typo quirk for me. 😉
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I’m just happy I finally ‘get’ myself. We are all weird when you get right down to it. I’m with Dan – very happy you weren’t writing a goodbye post !!!
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Thanks, Sammy, that’s so nice 🙂
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You wrote: “Do you struggle with how much to tell and show? Were you a weird kid? Are you a weird adult? Does your family even get you?”
Yes, yes, oh yes, no.
And I completely relate to everything your wrote. I don’t think you’re any weirder than any other brain using hominid that speaks her mind and values authenticity and clarity of though…or something….:)
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I love that you identify with me, like it brings me closer to your brand of genius or somethin 🙂
Thanks, Rob!
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It’s true, here is where we gather.This is as much mass as we’ll ever collect. This is where we don’t adapt. Yeah to us, for us, from us.
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Well said, thank you 🙂
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Thank you for visiting my blog and for liking one of my posts. Blessings, Natalie 🙂
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So kind of you — you’re very welcome 🙂
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