Today’s Just Jot it January prompt is effortless, which I’m happy to say, actually is. (Thanks for the great prompt, Dan!)
I grew up among three industrious parents and between them, I was subjected to a large menu of their effortless abilities. Which means, I suppose by default, I can do a lot of things with minimal effort.
I really do try to keep this blog under 1000 words, so I tried to devise a list of things none of my parents can do…and I think they’d all agree, none of them can leap tall buildings in a single bound…or maybe they do, and they just don’t tell me about it because there’s math involved.
I present to you the list of things I do effortlessly:
For me, writing is easier than speaking and I speak well
with some effort. I feel good when I write.
Speaking is letting people look at me and being expected to respond appropriately and instead saying something awkward and incoherent while making bizarre faces at them.
I should clarify, that’s how I feel.
I write this like I’m some sorta bumbling social idiot, which I am not, having taught, having worked a great deal with the public, having been on the speech team and in debates, having never been marked “Needs to participate more in class” on my report cards. I can talk to anyone, anywhere, but I’d rather not. It’s excruciating and exhausting. I’d much rather write.
If worrying bore weight, I would need a crane to hold my head up.
Present to me the most benign settings and I will point out to you all the things about which you should be worried.
The world is filled with danger.
My heart is on my sleeve and in my throat and made of glass. From bits of control, I fashion extensive fortresses of protection so that people can come at me like a wrecking ball.
If I can taste it, I can cook it. Some people can play by ear, I can cook by mouth.
Now and again, I don’t know if it’s yogurt or sour cream, or if it’s cardamom or ginger and cinnamon, but unless it’s baking, I usually don’t need a recipe to recreate it.
I’m not saying I’m good at drawing, painting, etc, but I’m not bad at it, and it’s easy for me. Lemme doodle you a doodad.
If I understand it, I can teach it. Or, if I need a 6-week position as a middle school math teacher, I can learn it well enough to teach it. And maybe that one really smart kid will enjoy showing us how he got the answer to the bonus question, because X is Your Mom, Algebra.
There you have it, my five effortless abilities.