Deal Breakers

The prompt today is compelled, and I feel compelled to tell you that per my post yesterday, The Mister announced to the children that if I get a purple mohawk, he will file for divorce. He added that if this were the case, he would not give me custody of the children or the house. He stated, “If your mother did that to her hair it would indicate she was suffering severe emotional distress and therefore, she would see you under state supervision.”

 

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I’m compelled to tell you the road goes both ways, as I told him long ago, I’d assume a return to his full beard from the early 90’s would mean he clearly never wanted to have sex with me again.
Love is one thing, desire another.

Y’all got any shallow deal breakers you wanna share?

Just Jot it January is brought to you by LindaGHill

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About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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42 Responses to Deal Breakers

  1. Dan Antion says:

    I like that he pushes the limit on facial hair just a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Benson says:

    Do I have any deal breakers? That is a tough one. I think it depends on the situation. From a male perspective I can’t imagine turning down sex because of a woman’s hair style. As far as facial hair I would need more info. As far as commerce goes everyone has a deal breaker. I think. A point where you refuse to buy something regardless of how much you desire it. Right?

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Maybe you don’t have any shallow deal breakers, then. I don’t think consumerism deal breakers count, because that’s on principle, and principle, in its very essence, isn’t shallow.
      Like how I refuse to pay $7.89 for a box of tea bags at Marsh. “Over my dead body, you greedy bastard! You don’t value me!” lol

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Judy Martin says:

    Ha HA! I am not keen on a huge beard either, although it seems to be very trendy over here at the moment, the bushier the better! YUCK! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I refuse to let my wife grow a bushy beard.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Luanne says:

    Hahaha. I thought I had one. I forced hubby to shave his mustache for much the same reason. But after it was off and I saw his vulnerable upper lip, I begged him to grow it back.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. jan says:

    No nose piercings allowed in this house! (unless he wants me to lead him around by the nose)

    Liked by 3 people

  7. LindaGHill says:

    I’m sure at one point or another I’ve told my kids if I hear rap coming from any speaker in the house, I’m disowning them. …maybe with the exception of Alex who’s deaf and wouldn’t know the difference.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Too great an opportunity not to share. I was single for a Loooonnnngg time so when hubby and I got together he knew that if he was unfaithful I would attack his ‘bits’ with a rusty fork. I thought that was enough until I realised that if I: a) attacked his bits with a rusty fork, and b) set fire to the garage (his mancave which holds multiple toys – double garage, workbench, tools, fishing rods, rifles, more tools, other crap) -that somehow has more impact!!! Now he quivers “…not the garage…” Wuss!!! So that’s our deal breaker!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. orbthefirst says:

    OOO OOOOOO OOOOOOO!! I got one! Actually 2 😛
    If my boobs are bigger than yours, its not gonna happen.
    Also, “Ifn u spll lyke dis” but speak perfect English, its not gonna happen. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Deborah says:

    It’s great that you have all of that on the table. No one can be surprised by it. I have to admit to telling my husband that if he were going to bring certain pieces of furniture in the van from Iowa, he didn’t need to make the trip. 😉 In my defense, he has a history of bringing truckloads of stuff in and then we have to deal with it for months/years until he realizes he should have gotten rid of it months/years earlier. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s good if you don’t smell gross…love is love but..ya know…gross is just gross 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nancy says:

    In our home, routing for the Dallas Cowboys is grounds for divorce. My Hubby had it added to the wedding vowels. 😉 btw I love your photo.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. dvaal says:

    Let him have it! Desire ends as quickly as it begins -over purple hair and full beards. Sad1
    http://www.fiddledeedeebooks.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  14. reocochran says:

    I feel the same way about beards, Joey. There is somewhere on the Internet which includes research about germs and beards. There are bacteria which grows on beards that is worse than toilets or faucets in public restrooms. I like my DIL who is often dying her hair and my son enjoys it. She never gets it cut in a Mohawk though! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      He doesn’t want his full beard back anymore than I want the purple mohawk, so we’re good 🙂
      I’ve read about the germies, too. Ick. To each his own!

      Like

  15. Anxious Mom says:

    Hahaha! My husband is told the same thing when it comes to having a mustache. Uh-uh. Even a couple day’s stubble on his upper lip irritates my skin too much too kiss. (Didn’t you want to know that?)

    I don’t think he has any shallow deal breakers. We were rewatching Orange is the New Black tonight and I asked him “if I decided to become a man, would you leave me” and he said no.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Yes, I totally wanted to know that, cause your skin is as fair as mine, you poor thing! I tell you what, that razor burn is no joke!
      That is truly beautiful. I’m not sure our marriage could take a sex change. Friends forever, sure — lovers, probably not.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. That made me really smile. Sounds like a great marriage to me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. April says:

    Nose rings and smelly breath.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. garym6059 says:

    Not be associated with my ex wife in any shape or form is a pretty good deal breaker.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I have it on the highest authority that going bald is not an option. Fortunately, the genes seem to be on my side.

    Liked by 1 person

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