Part One is over 1200 words of backstory about how I arrived on Central Avenue one stunning day in February.
The Mister’s opinion was that it was not a good idea for me to stroll up and down Central Avenue. He said stuff that almost sounded like I was forbidden. He worried for my safety. He’s so silly; he should worry about my sarcasming.
I set out with Sadie. Two rebel bitches on a mission.
You wouldn’t believe how horrifying it was. As soon as I exited Bonnie Blue, I could hear the rapid shelling of a woodpecker and I seemed to be disturbing a flock of viciously passive chickadees. I heard a near constant din of some eerie multi-wheeled vehicles maneuvering in the distance. So they turned out to be skateboards, they could have been tanks, you don’t know, you weren’t there.
See for yourself.
Are you not terrified?
Almost immediately, I saw something that always scares me, but I steeled myself.
pagan heathen joke. i can’t even pretend to be sorry.
As expected, the sky darkened and ruined these pictures.
Still, I pressed on. Joey 5, Anxiety 0.
One of the scariest things about any city? Its public schools. Behold its alarmingly familiar facade.
I’d take straighter photos, but I don’t like to force conventional labels.
As a tribe of truly treacherous enemies passed, we had to take cover under this menacing, prickly tree.
Those who rushed past wore strange uniforms — black shiny clingy pants, brightly colored shoes, and puffy vests with an alarming emblem indicating they belong to some North Face gang. In a bizarre twist of fate, I was able to assuage their violent intent with my smile. Sadie didn’t handle the stress of the situation as well as I did, and well…Let’s just say I had to break out a small silver baggie.
I was enjoying these gorgeous homes when Sadie warned me that a leaf blower was about to devour us. Fortunately, her bark stopped that mean machine. In gratitude, Sadie tried to lick to death one of the tiny street urchins.
Ever forward we marched. (Phew, y’all, there was an incline!)
When one is in such a bad neighborhood one cannot avoid the eyesores of rehab. Such horrendous sights remind us of our own blessings. Or maybe they just remind us we want a new back porch light…
It wasn’t too long after this that I encountered yet another house of worship. I assume the locals need a lot of safe places to pray for their property values.
The longer we walked, the more ghastly the scenery became. Such decay. So much ruin.
As you can see, the natives often build their fortresses from stone, I presume to ward off frequent Nerf attacks.
Did you enjoy my walk down Central Avenue? Do you have a favorite door here today? Like I said in Part One, it’s really all about the numbers.
PS: I asked The Mister what DEFCON I was in here, and he indicated ‘One’ with his middle finger.
#ThursdayDoors is part of an inspired post series run by Norm Frampton. To view other interesting doors, click the link and see what others are posting today.
joeyfullystated 
Yes, sometimes ThursdayDooring can be deadly!
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Me thinks they built with stone to protect themselves from the barbaric horde. Just my thoughts. I actually bumped into someone who lived at 30th and Central yesterday. She stated that they ran out of clean towels and blankets on the regular from all the car accidents in front of their home. She did not specify if it was multiple vehicles, or pedestrian versus a car. I didn’t ask. I found it ironic that she had lived on Central given your excursion.
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Hahahaha. Loved this! So much Joey sarcasm, it was awesome. 🙂
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Thank you oh so much! 😀
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Now this is how to tell a story!
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Thanks! 😀
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Hihih, more chuckling – you’re flying today, why don’t you write that sarcastic letter you know you must write eventually… (we all have one of those!)
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Thanks! What sarcastic letter do we all need to write? Orrr, better yet, you write yours first and I’ll take direction from you!
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Hahah, I remembered, for instance, how I replied to all noise pollution complaints, brought about by the pesky neighbour, in one 5-page long letter to the police. I think the title was something like “The one and only rebuttal letter”. I never got another. 😀
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Hahaha! Oh yes, I’ve written a handful of those in my life. Indeed, they are unavoidable to anyone with a pen and a good brain!
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Those are some awesome places. I’d like to walk inside most of them. Well presented too. Watch out for those woodpeckers.
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🙂
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You guys are a hoot. Defcon 1. Really? You were pretty far North though. So that is pretty much the DMZ. Those are some beautiful doors and houses,regardless where they are.
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At that far north, it really is DMZ, I just think he wanted to flip me off 😉
Thank you, we enjoy our hooted-ness!
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I was going to say you guys are a trip but I didn’t want to explain what I meant to you two kids.
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LOL No, you’re a trip! 😛 I think it’s our kids’ generation that wouldn’t get that phrase.
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He should beware of your sarcasm – deadly stuff, that. What a great collection of doors and some priceless narrative along the way. I like the next to the last door, but my big fav is the arched door in the stone turret. I can see where that would keep the nerfs away, and it would be pretty cool to come home to. Don’t be too hard on the Mister – he has your best interest at heart.
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That arched door in the turret really is somethin, just its color and shape make a statement against that stone. I struggled to pick a fave, myself.
I enjoy him protecting me and always making me feel safe. He knows it’s all in jest. (And due to his own area of the city, he truly didn’t know there were homes like this.)
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Oh my gosh, this is one of your top ten best ever! I laughed the entire way through while admiring each of the doors. #1 in my book is the double white door. Two bitches on a mission fighting their way through DEFCON 1? This could be an adult comic book series. Sign me up. I loved it, and I needed the smiles. Thank you. 🙂
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I’m so glad you enjoyed it, and I’m always happy to bring a smile 🙂 Thank you, Judy.
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I was laughing in all the way through. I think I’ve found our motto: #ThursdayDoors – So much sarcasm – so little time
Great post Joey 😀
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Thank you! 😀
This is a great group, not just for doors, but for minds as well.
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O o o! ~Dancing and poinging at all the Storybook Style houses!!!~ Great post, GREAT PICTURES, superlative sarcasm all around. Except from me; I’m serious. I am utterly and entirely charmed by Storybook Style architecture. ~happy sigh~
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I know it! Now did I get enough of those facades and angles for you here? 🙂
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I can see I’m new to this neighborhood (of minds), trying to follow all of your journeys in thought. Am happy you are bloggers not clients, it would keep me awake at night trying to analyze each:):)
But I love your walk through Central Ave. with so many gorgeous and well built doors!
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Well thank you 🙂 I’m glad you liked it! Most of us have our own therapists, so you can relax and enjoy without obligation. 😉
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Yay – I love retirement:)
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Sarcasm, self-deprecation, heathen jokery, AND doors. You’ve got me.
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Haha, well I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’m happy to have you!
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Great photos and thanks for the laugh, Joey. Next time you’ll have to wear headphones (Sally, too) so you won’t have to listen to all that neighborhood noise.
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People with anxiety disorder don’t go outdoors with headphones, Jean — don’t you know, that’s how boogie men and aliens can sneak up on you! 😛 Have you never watched a crime drama?!? How can I be afraid if I can’t even hear the danger? lol
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ROFL!! Great story today along with some really great doors. I love all the brick. We don’t see it here often.
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Thanks, I’m glad you liked it 🙂
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hehehee… “pagan heathen joke. i can’t even pretend to be sorry”… hehehehee
BEST Thursday Doors post yet! … and a turret!! A turret with a door!!! 🙂
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Oh good! Thank you 😀
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I’m so thankful you survived the manic chickadees and the insanity of the entire neighborhood! I like the door in the turret, as I enjoy turret rooms. My compliments to Sadie for hanging with you through the entire, frightening experience!
janet
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Thank you, me too 🙂
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Before I forget~ 5604 and 5706 are my two favorites, Joey. Beautiful homes you captured!
I noted all the crime and destruction in your photos, definitely a need for someone to worry. 😉
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That is scary neighbourhood! Thank goodness you came out there unscathed. Some of those doors were quite beaitiful.
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Lol! What an adventure! Truly enjoyed your sarcasm as well as your photos. 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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Wow on your stamina to tell your story! Like the door wanting a back porch light, almost looks like a skull looking out from under a hoodie.
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It does indeed! Nice catch 🙂
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