Be kind.
Mostly.
I practice random acts of kindness all the time. (We do.) We’re those people who pick up litter in our path, hold doors, overtip a great server, let the pregnant pee first, pay for a coffee or a meal, let people with fewer items go first, pick up stuff people drop, offer to help the lady find her car…We’re helpery like that.
We’ve fallen into such a disturbing loss of civility in our society that people are offended by others mentioning their acts of kindness instead of thinking they should do more of that themselves. I’ve seen people accused of being shallow, trendy, and even exploitative for helping others. I do not buy into this. I’m too deep and too square to buy into that. My soul has determined that humans are a great force of love. We can all do STUFF to make the world a better place. What we call kindness now, I’m fairly certain used to be called COMMON COURTESY.
If you think I’m bragging, you should be ashamed. There, I said it.
Now, The Mister and I were raised this way, so it may perhaps come more easily for us, but there is no reason why anyone, even those raised by greedy selfish meanies, can’t start being kind and helpful to people.
I realize there’s a month when it’s actual Random Act of Kindness time, but for the love of puppies, you can do it all the time. It’s not like how you can only eat the McRib for a limited time, or how taxes are due on a certain day — You can actually be kind any ol time you like, and if you don’t understand that, I’ll assume you only love Jesus on Easter and Christmas. Oh wait, what? Yes, I said that too.
Now I caution you as to where the mostly comes in.
It’s a risk. Being kind and helpful doesn’t always result in smiles and thank yous and someone else being inspired to pay it forward.
You cannot expect anything, not even good behavior, in return. There is no reward for kindness.
This means when you let the priest pull out in front of you and he doesn’t even give you so much as a fucking courtesy wave, you do not get to ram into him and crush his car into oblivion, religious bumper stickers and all. You can only fantasize about that. You can, however, scream sarcastically at your steering wheel about the AMAZING GRATITUDE AND HUMILITY of your local clergy. You can hope you see his face in the dunk tank at the festival… WHAT? It’s for a good cause!
When you hold the door for a lady with a baby carrier, she may well huff and puff in your face like it took you too long to help her. If you slam the next door in her face you may or may not end up on the 5 o’clock news, but if you can smile broadly as you hold the next door while also telling her “Have a great day!” then you have been truly kind. If you just can’t stop yourself, you can tell her to have a blessed day, but I’m yet to become so enlightened myself.
You can always pray for these people. That’s kind.
But remember — Shouting “I’ll pray for you!” at their backs is not kind.
I enjoy being kind. It feels good.
Mostly.
Sometimes being kind backfires in a way that leaves you feeling like the air has been sucked from your chest and your heart is a stone.
I told you, it’s a risk.
And sometimes, well, sometimes it’s just too damned hard to be kind.
Like, I ain’t helpin nobody move. And my babysittin anyone in a diaper days are over. And there is absolutely no way I am going to offer you my last soda. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
But you know, Have a nice day.
Be is for LindaGHill’s SoCS and B is for A-Z
joeyfullystated 
I once held a door open for a woman who became angry with me. She proceeded to tell me that she could get her own door. So I walked in said door, and closed it behind me so she could prove it, and walked off. I also worked with a lady that would only let me do it if she was allowed to return the favor. So we would alternate which one of us would get the door or hold the elevator for the other. Now if the first lady would have done that things would have been fine. I have held doors for men too, and oddly enough none of them felt as if I was indicating they were incapable of getting their own door. Kindness is hard yo!
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I don’t feel like it’s a gender thing. In that way it must be harder to be a man. Women NEVER get angry when I hold the door for them, but sometimes men will say they can’t allow it. (But it a cute way, not angry like!)
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I value kindness above all else and people who take advantage of my kindness I just shrug off to ignorant behavior! Being kind to each other is the only way this world will survive.
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Whoo-hoo! Here’s to being nice just because that’s how you’re suppose to be not because it’s a freakin’ “movement”! Mom always said “kindness is its own reward” and that’s good, because, like you said, sometimes that’s all you get. I’m one of those people who “was raised that way” too and I raised my kids the same way. I must say I was embarrassed by my home state when the first thing my kids said when we traveled to Virginia was how much nicer and more polite people were in the south. Being “nice” in Jersey comes with extra challenges apparently. I’m sure there are people who feel it’s even an oxymoron. 😊 BTW, I’m glad to here that it’s okay to yell “YOU’RE WELCOME!!” at the driver you stopped for to let out into traffic and whose only reaction is acting annoyed and entitled.
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**”hear” not “here”! Dang, I thought I proof read that. 😊
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LOL! People are nicer here than in the south, I kid you not.
I yell out “You’re welcome!” to the rude, grumpy man who works at the post office. He has no manners. When I can, I wait for another cashier. (Letting others take my turn with him cannot be called a kindness.) That man makes me rage.
It really is nice to be nice. Mostly.
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What a terrible post I would have thought for the letter B I would get something more cutting edge like Bitch, Badass, Bra Strap, anything but Be kind. Just kidding #Joeyismygirl! I’ve never understood the notion that women don’t need doors opened for them. It’s how any decent guy was raised! Get over yourself already feminazi! I’ve come to learn in my travels that us Midwesterners are at the top of the food chain on “kind” acts. It’s just our way of life I guess don’t really have any Harvard level studies to back this up though.
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Hoosier Hospitality is Tried & True! We are a kind lot, absolutely! I do have B is for Bitchy, but it was another year 😉
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It is good to be helperly. I like that word. 🙂
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Another post that is spot on. I like your boundaries too. I’ve changed my quota of diapers, and will not be going back.
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“Kindness used to be called Common Courtesy”. Yup.
I was brought up on the axiom that we should treat others like we would like to be treated. Not how we expect or think we will be treated … but how we would want to be treated.
All these years later – ok, it’s been decades, but who’s counting – it’s still my guiding principle.
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100% with you on that one. The world would be a better place if we all acted with kindness and left our pride and other stupid things out of our minds. We feel good when someone who don’t know acts kindly toward us. And even better when we practice random acts of kindness.
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Love this!
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😀
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“let the pregnant pee first” – Oh my. I remember my wife appreciating this gesture. I’m adding this post to the list of Joey posts that are going to inspire a post on my site. You got me with that question of yours. Suffice it to say, I have many times when I would have been better off being an asshole.
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That’s good! I love to inspire 🙂
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I agree, being kind should be to make yourself and the other person feel good. Gratitude should not nor will not always be a result from your kindness. That being said, it does warm your heart to see someone (from afar) open their door to groceries or flowers. Joey, you have a great list of suggestions and you are setting a fine example to your children and others. I know you don’t expect nor wish “praise” I think you deserve a pat on the back. Thanks for the happy use of your “B” letter. Looking forward to the rest of the alphabet!
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Thanks, Robin, that’s kind of you to say 🙂
I can see it in our children. They do learn by example.
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Common courtesy…not so common any more. So right about that one. “and the horse you rode in on “..lol Haven’t heard that one in a while. Thanks. ☺
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🙂
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Common courtesy. Yup.
More often than not I get those “Oh! I should be holding the door for you!” from women, who apparently have none of that. I usually respond with something like, “I got here first” or “Im stronger than you.” Just to prove the point.
‘Cuz Im subtle. Like a brick.
Though holding door for female friends is sometimes fun, like Ill get a “You just wanna look at my butt.” And Ill say something like “I spend 90% of my day at tit level, Its nice to have something else to look at.”
😉
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LOL!
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I’m still LOL’ing over the FU and the horse you rode in on. Thanks for my snort of the afternoon.
But, back to kindness, I plan to sprinkle that shit every day. Even over the grouchy people. Because in today’s world, we could use more of it. Excellent post, Joey!
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Thanks 🙂
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Preach it sister. You hit the nail on the head when you said it used to be Common Courtesy. Well it ain’t so common now. All the stuff you mention are things I do without thinking. That is just how I was brought up. You just do it. You don’t think about any reward or atta’ boy. I will draw the line at singing about buying the World a Coke while standing on a mountain.
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I look back at my life sometimes and think, you know, I should have been more of an asshole. Assertive, really, but to some they mean the same thing…
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Me too. I suppose to many the behavior is in the eye of the beholder, but we’re only responsible for our own choices.
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Exactly. You can (and should) be assertive, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it…
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So true, I am also mostly always kind. I love being kind. I always tell people: if you give, give without strings attached.
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I agree, Joey, Common courtesy costs nothing and although there is no reward for it, at least you know that you are not an ignorant Arsehole!
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Courtesy seems to be anything but common these days. I had a heartbreaking conversation with the Middle Son the other day when he told me how hard he tries to follow his philosophy of treating others as he would like to be treated but he doesn’t get treated that way in return. Life can be tough, especially at sixteen.
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It really is hard, even for adults at times. Growing up life seems so unfair at every turn. I remember thinking similarly. Middle Son must have a good heart, and I’m glad you’re teaching him (with) integrity.
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So nice and sweet, until you tell someone to back the fuck off your soda 😀 😀
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I am not nice and sweet! Yout take that back! Did you say soda? Mmm, SOOOOO-DUH! 😛
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Lol!
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Random acts of kindness are one of the great discoveries of living. Once practiced you soon discover how they enrich the day of the giver, and help the given too so a win all round 🙂
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Laughed so much! Oh boy….you sure tell it like it is. I try to be kind too, most of the time, and when people fail to notice my efforts, I mutter things like, ‘huh, you’re so welcome,’ under my breath.
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Thanks so much, I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 Being kind mostly is what we can all try to do!
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This was a great post to read first thing this morning. Funny as well. So, I was going to call you the next time I move but apparently that’s a big no no. I’ll go fuck my horse I guess.
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Yeah, no, I’ll like, pet sit while you move. If that goes well, I might bake you a loaf of bread and give you a bottle of wine after. That’s the best you can hope for.
I’m glad you laughed 😀
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Kindness is important and I am glad you teamed this up with SoCS.
I am Parul from Happiness & Food and part of co-host Pam’s Unconventional Alliance from the #AtoZChallenge. Stopping by to say hello. Good luck for the challenge.
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Thank you, Parul! Lovely to have you drop by 🙂
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I was taught by my mother to yell “You’re welcome!” at people who didn’t thank me for opening the door for them. I still do it sometimes if I’m in a bad mood. I had to figure out for myself that it wasn’t the kindest thing to do. Then, my mother isn’t the kindest person. …was that unkind to say?
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It’s not unkind, because she is not reading this 😉
Not five minutes ago I asked Sassy if she had any manners at all. We’re all the same. lol
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Especially with family, I suppose. 😉
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So, if I get to pick you for a companion on a remote island all will be well unless I want the last soda? Okay, I’ll make sure to bring my own. 🙂 I think maybe the politicians should read this post, but they probably wouldn’t think it pertained to them.
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Both of these quotes are fantastic, Joey! Many times I’ve thought that being an asshole would have made a situation easier for me…but I just can’t do it. I know that perpetual assholes are very unhappy people, so I’ll take my hurt feelings any day if I’m bringing some kindness into the world.
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Thanks for taking the high road, Britt. The world needs more people to even consider the high road, let alone take it!
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Yeah, I’m a sprinkling kind too. But excuse me, why should priests have priority? Are they pregnant? It’s like thanking doctors with practical gifts for healing people, I’ll never understand that. What do they have coming then if someone dies on them?
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