Last summer, I trimmed the Boxwoods as one does. I am not the chainsaw lady, so my lectric trimmer is as close as I’ll ever get.
It does make me nervous.
At my old house, ten years ago, I used to have a Chinese privet running the entire width of my front yard, and I had some eunonymumymous, or whatever they’re called, both of which grew like mad and had to be trimmed all the time, so I was more comfortable with my lectric trimmer back then. Of course, I was also a smoker then, and all hopped-up on caffeine and sleep deprivation and well, I may as well have lived in a shoe, so you know, things are different now.
As I was sayin, I was nervously trimming my Boxwoods and I’d rotated the blade between the last of the shrubs and the house when I saw something disturbing…oooooh shiiiiiiiit that don’t look good. PANIC!
Mind you, I was hot, and hot me, 90+ degrees me, wearin my long sleeves cause pale me, and my hat cause Rosacea, and my gloves cause spiders, well I was not quite right. I don’t function too well in the heat, okay? Anxiety disorder never helps.
This thing I saw looked like nothin I’d ever seen. I decided the Boxwood was even enough and wrapped up my lectric trimmer and its 900 feet of cord. I fetched my swate tay and sat out on the porch waitin for the sweat to dry and the adrenaline to recede. Then I went to get The Mister.
“There’s somethin over there. Behind that last shrub. Right on the house. You should maybe gently use your foot to move the bush back. Be slow and careful.”
Me being me, I assumed it was a hive. It was big and brown and lumpy and replete with strange texture. It looked like the sorta thing legions of yellow jackets swarm out of to attack the faces of Joeys, who may or may not have filled their epipen scrips last year…
Y’all, The Mister said it was nothin to be worried about.
“How’s that?”
“It’s the old Army towel I wrapped around the spigot to help insulate it.”
OH.
Haha.
Hahahaha.
The other night, I wanted to see if it was snowin, so I peeked out the window in the dining room. Once again I saw something terrifying. My brain said ooooh girl that’s a bad crack right there. only original wall in the house, mmhm. you can bet that’s gonna be a costly repair right there. prolly gonna need a whole new window, too. prolly some old leak. damn.
My fingers traced it. I walked over to my husband, and I said, “Remember last year when I was sure there was some sorta badness behind the bush and I wanted you to look at it?”
“Yes.”
“I just had a similar experience. Thought there was a crack in the wall. You know what it is? It’s the line I drew when we hung the drapes.”
Before school yesterday I said to Moo, “Nice job on those red tulips, all in a row.”
“I didn’t plant those.”
“I don’t remember planting those. I think those are yours.”
“No, mine were over there.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, Mama, I’m sure!”
I coulda sworn I planted more daffodils and she planted more tulips. You know, the new daffodils I forgot I’d even planted until they bloomed? I remember we planted 35 bulbs. What, exactly, and where, well, I dunno anymore.
When we came home in the evening, I pointed down and said, “I think that’s my lily there, my red Asiatic. I think it made a baby.”
She took my hand and said, “I hope you’re right.” I could be wrong, but I think I detected a bit of pity and condescension there. I’m sure it came from a place of love.
It’s good to have those you love surround you while you lose your mind, don’tcha think?
joeyfullystated 
I don’t remember anything these days. Unless it’s really important to me, I finish something and move on. Alzheimer’s runs in my family, so I’ve got that to look forward to. Saw something cool the other day about Australian researchers possibly finding a cure.
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I actually take pride in my memory, but I think I might need a good brain dump to get rid of useless info.
Sorry about your bad genes. I blame hormones and kids along with that much needed mass exodus of material.
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As long as you can remember who you’re loved ones are when you lose your mind! Great writing. Love the living in the shoe part haha! No expression in Dutch comes even close 🙂
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Thanks so much for the lovely compliment!
Do the Dutch not have Mother Goose?
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/176344
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Made me laugh here. I’ve done the same sort of things. In my case I think it has to do with my natural story telling skills running away with me + bad eyesight. As for you? I dunno. Maybe you’re crazy after all. 😉
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Yes, I think imagination is the better part of anxiety. I’m so grateful I don’t have yellow jackets nesting behind my shrubs or a big crack in my wall. As for the bulbs, well, at least the ones we planted are pretty! 😀
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Yes. So important to be surrounded by friendly faces as we lose our mind. I’m with ya there. ☺
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Thank you. Today, may you remember all you need to and may you not jump to any nasty conclusions! 🙂
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Right you are. I actually find those “Duh” moments fun. At first it is a mystery and then once it is solved it becomes a laugh at yourself moment. Of course if it isn’t solved quickly then it becomes a real mystery which is a whole different level of fun. And possible anxiety.
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Mmhm. True.
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Love that final photo.
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Thank you, Dale, I think the morning light was just right for that one 🙂
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Hmmm, Gary is biting his tongue…….nice pictures! Another great original comment from me. Just kidding, you would think I was an airhead as many times I walk back and forth from various rooms forgetting why I was there in the first place.
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I DO struggle with room-to-room disease, mostly after dark
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What’s up with your Twitter I tried to retweet and it says user doesn’t exist. 😦
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Glitches are bitches. I do exist. Twitter account intact. Thank you for your attempted share!
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I do these things all the time. It OK though. This way, our lives are full of surprise and wonderful new things. There is the potential for it to end badly (search Youtube for “ooh piece of candy”) but I think we’re safe.
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I really enjoy the idea of surprises and wonderful new things, thanks!
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Ha, watch out, those old Army towels have been known to eat people.
“I’m sure it came from a place of love.”–Ha, isn’t that where all condescension and pity from our kids comes from? 😉
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I hope so!
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We had a mountain lion in our neighborhood once so whenever I’m in the garden and hear a shuffling in the bushes my heart jumps – it’s generally a bird! LOL! It’s good to have a lively imagination. : )
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HA! Thanks, Jan 🙂
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Enters that thing youve always seen, but never quite noticed, that suddenly comes into focus, and you realize, that, yes, thats been there forever, and you..somehow, never saw it before. And the rest of that day has that strange, ethereal, slightly disconnected, floaty kind of feeling as your mind slowly comes into clarity..over some THING that somehow was oddly off putting and ominous in the past..that turned out to be some odd colored, sun bleached little plastic frog, trapped in the undergrowth beside the porch..
Not that IVE ever had such an experience, mind you. I see EVERYTHING. 😉
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HAHAHAHA! Oh that was splendid! Tell me another! 😀
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That was shortly after the ramp was put in..that damn frog seriously weirded me out till I ACTUALLY SAW wtf it was, LOL. (I wasnt seeing it correctly or something, I dunno..) I ended up tossing it shortly afterward because it weirded me out so.
The mind is capable of terrible and hilarious things, let me tell ya..:P
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I’m like that with sounds, especially in the middle of the night. And living in Chicago, just off of a busy street and with some rather strange neighbors besides, there’s a lot of strange sounds in the night.
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Here in Indy, at my house, I hear the interstate, the occasional train or siren, and a lot of nature 🙂 I shall consider that a blessing. But I must say, sometimes before the air shows, I’m convinced the sky is falling! lol 😉
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LOL, if I start to feel depressed I’ll come read your blogs 🙂
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Well thank you 🙂 I’m glad you’re humored. They’re not all funny, so don’t feel you must become depressed to read me 😉
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HAHA! It is also comforting to know that there are other people in the world who are just as loopy as I am! 🙂
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I agree, thanks!
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You know, I think the lilies do have babies, and that does look like one to me, so there! It helps to have a good sense of humor and loved ones as we travel through this life. Now I want some sweet tea!
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They DO make babies! But this is the first Asiatic I’ve grown, so I had to look up what they look like as they come up — and I was right 😛
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I thought so. Pat yourself on the back. I think it is wonderful when pretty things spread. It is just as our blog messages should spread and bring joy to all.
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Mmm, nice metaphor 🙂
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It’s nice to lose your mind and still be able to take such beautiful photos. I need a new camera. My phone (a Windows phone) takes better pictures. I even had two printed, and they are hanging on the wall in my living room.
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These are taken with an iPhone 4S. I could use a new one, but this one still works…
I just happened to have really great light. Sometimes I get lucky! 🙂
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And thank you!
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I’m not sure. Sometimes I think I’ve lost it but find it before anyone else knows about it, and that’s okay too. 🙂
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These are excellent, but do tell me: YOU STOPPED SMOKING? FOR REAL?? Yeahhhhhhhh!!! I’m always happy for everybody who does it, it’s like being pulled out of a sect. I did it in 2007 after 20 years.
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I DID stop smoking. I’m approaching my two-year mark. I still smoke in my dreams. Sometimes I’m happy to be smoking in my dreams and sometimes I’m like, “No! Joey! Don’t do it!” lol
I smoked from 96-2014, so that’s what, 18 years? Long enough.
Congrats to you! 😀
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Ohh, yes, long enough. After I’d stopped, I only smoked in my dreams a handful of times and I always remembered that I’d stopped and put it out appalled. You have admitted to yourself that you are a non-smoker. Well done. 🙂
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You too! 🙂
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