One of the most delightful things about living with The Mister is his frequent use of bold and colorful language.
Take for instance, the other night in The Quiet Room. I was reading about propagating forsythia from cuttings and trying to determine whose bush I should steal from, when all of a sudden…
“Fuck all.”
june or july, four to six inches…
“Goddamn!”
and dip the bared branch into rooting hormone…
“Mother fucker.”
place the cutting in a plastic bag and press the perlite around the base of the cutting…
“What the fuck?”
harden slowly over the course of two weeks…
“Jesus fucking Christ! Fucking piece of shit!”
At this point, I asked The Mister, “Do you want to talk about your feelings?”
“No. I just want my computer to do what I tell it to.”
DON’T WE ALL?
I am most annoyed by format and photos, what makes you curse at technology the most?
joeyfullystated 
Oh god formatting. My issues are ongoing. Having to hold down a job and not being able to work on it is driving my blood pressure up. I swear it was all good in the previewer, but when the book delivered it sucked.
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I feel for you, I really do. I’ve had previews here on WP that look fine, but the published post has spacing errors. It drives me nuts, so I can’t imagine how frustrated you are with your book.
Word was always the worst. Move one thing, change one page break and OH THE MADNESS! WordPress has its own spacing issues, and worst of all, the formats to Word, Google Docs and WP do not match up, which means always writing in the WP editor or killing myself with HTML.
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I think the worst part for me is needing to do it, but having to do something else for 10 hours.
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I’m sure you’re right.
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The thing that pisses me off the most is that It is SO proud to tell you that it has selected 2,882,098.476 items for your search in .008 seconds but can’t fucking tell you where you can buy cheese curds in Indianapolis without confusing it with bean curd.
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I KNOW, RIGHT?!? Has Google ever even had cheese curds and bean curd?!?
Twenty Tap. You said Twenty Tap has yummy cheese curds and they sure do. We are Twenty Tap addicts now, you know. Thanks 🙂
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I have the same conversation with myself, except I normally use my inside voice. I’m afraid if I let it out for fear the next step will be to grab my laptop and throw it into the backyard with all the pent-up fury I’ve been working on for the past year.
Yes, my laptop is a steamy hunk of shit. It likes to randomly drop the wifi then simply freeze until I hard-boot it. I’m going to boot it alright … to the curb pretty soon.
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The ongoing saga of your laptop is worthy of ranting and raving and considering heaving it from a window.
I don’t blame you one bit.
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You’ve inspired me. Maybe one day when I can finally replace this hunk of junk, I’ll throw a computer-bashing party!!
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Ooh! Take pictures 😉
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But of course!!
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Things that worked FINE in Win7 that dont work in Win10, driver updates, BSOD screens with sadface emoticons, closed sourced software, Microsoft, Steam, “pay to play” games, MMOs, and why the HELL “Sudo blah -argument(s) stupidthing” doesnt work at 3:30am (its “sudo,” btw.)
Guest additions for Virtualbox also piss me the @%@#@#@#% off. Every. Single. Update.
😉
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Your list is long Tech Head!
Wow.
Microsoft isn’t half bad to me, but I don’t love Windows 10, and I hate Office. Office can just fuck right off.
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I think of myself more as a “tinkerer” than a “tech Head” lol, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Have you tried Libre Office? Is free..
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I have not. I see no need to add an office of any sort, Tinkerorb.
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Right..we had that discussion. I forgot.
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No worries 🙂
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Oddly enough in our house the conversation is usually me sitting at the computer, swearing for all the world to hear, while my husband quietly sits elsewhere, learning important things. But it’s the same dynamic, regardless. 😉
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Potato-potahto, hm. Frustrating stuffs.
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The Word Press formatting issues always annoy me. Why can’t we have a WYSWYG system? I’m also annoyed with the entire computer set-up. At least half-dozen times a day it suddenly disconnects me from our network for no reason. I have to either reset the adapter or reboot the whole system. Then I have to re-connect with the network even though the settings are “connect automatically”. Of course, it usually chooses the most inopportune times to suddenly disconnect.
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I agree on WYSWYG, yes please! If they’re going to keep changing it, maybe it would be nice to have IMPROVEMENTS!
Your router sounds unreliable. First things first I’d see about getting a replacement. We used to live in a place where routers went in an out constantly, until we stopped renting one from the ISP and bought one of our own.
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We’ve tried several over the years. I’ve gotten used to it now so it’s not as frustrating as it used to be. Plus I’m not doing business online now like I once did, so the connection isn’t as crucial as it was in the past. I can live with it…but I still complain LOL.
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Your Mister sounds like my Mister!
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Formatting photos would make a monk lose his shit! Anymore I spend ten minutes typing and two freaking days cropping and resizing photos so the lords of WordPress will make them all pretty in my blog post. Bravo to the Mister, you can’t trust a man that can’t use the word fuck as a noun,verb, or adjective!
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Yeeeeessss, the photo changes on WP have wasted plenty of my time as well!
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For the longest time it was OneNote on my computer. Fucking OneNote. It hijacked every fucking document I ever produced and it insisted on becoming my default printer. WTF? It isn’t even a printer. Please fuck off and die OneNote. And I could not get rid of it. I finally had to phone tech support to wipe the mother fucker out.
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The fucking nerve of it, John!
All these programs that take over, they can all fuck off and die. Windows 10 was all, “Oh, you wanted to upload your photos to Pictures like you’ve been doing for the last nine years on all my ancestors? Fuck you, I put them in one of my utterly useless apps called Photos!”
*rages against the machine*
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WAHAHAHA! Your Mister sounds like me last night when I locked myself out of my website!!!
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I had thought that when I read you earlier, but better you say it than I, because you know, I don’t know how long you stay angry, Judy 😉
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HaHA! Oh, I don’t hold grudges for very long and the picture I was going to use said ‘Go and sit in the corner, Dumbass!’ I thought that pretty much summed it up! 🙂
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Did you tell him that swearing within earshot of propagating forsythia will damage their tender psyches? ; )
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LMAO! No! But I tell you, had I, he would’ve said, “Fuck the forsythia!” 😛
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Hahaha! Sounds like my hubby (particularly when pissy)
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I’m probably going to end up in trouble, but since I give people computers, buy and build software and provide technical support for a living, users annoy me the most. Yeah. my business would be so much better without customers. Good luck with the forsythia. If you figure out all the horticultural mumbojumbo and get something to grow, please write an easy to understand post about it. Something a cone-headed geek like me could grasp 🙂
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USERS!? Oh boy. Imma let it go.
Would you take up gardening then? With a step-by-step? A how-to on gardening may attract the wrong people, who might assume it’s a Nice Lady blog. You know how I’d hate that…I’ll consider it.
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I’m sorry – yeah, that’s the word we use to describe our coworkers. I do NOT use that word to describe the Mrs. and I help her, as best I can, without (much) complaint. I understand about not wanting to be seen as a nice lady blog. Toss in some of those words the Mister was using.
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LMAO!
YES! That is the obvious answer!
Thank you your help in this matter.
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I used to work as a Technical Writer and spent so much time swearing about Business Analysts and their complete inability to accurately document how they want to use the system so I could put it in easy End User terms AND taking more than their allotted time to do it so I had to work until 3am to finish the damn training manual that no tech problem of my own ever seems even remotely as bad.
Having said that, I hate WP’s new post writing set up and still take refuge in the original version via WP Admin no matter how often they want to tell me there’s a new shiny way of doing it. I know there is and it sucks. Piss off.
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lol!
Technological slowness kills me. I’d like a computer/device that processes as quickly as a brain. That’s not asking for too much.
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I want the same!
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I feel his angst. My laptop bit the dust yesterday morning, and I’m about to run right out of the building -but it snowed yesterday…
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LOL! That sounds like my husband.
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First off, here’s where you look for your Forsythia – at your recycling/dump on the brush pile. That’s where I picked mine up as well as weeping willows. They’re doing fine just like your instructions tell you. With regard to the colorful language – you would have heard some of that here this week as I was trying to sew with four-way stretch material. And, the technology issue that is sending me up the wall is PicMonkey. I love that program, and this week it won’t work (at least on my computer).
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Well in theory I like that idea. In practice though, I live in a big city where the local dump thingy is about a 45 minute drive. However, several of my neighbors have it…sooo….just gotta figure out who to bug 🙂
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You just need to see one of them trimming theirs and off you go. 🙂
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Haha! Well, the colorful language certainly makes one feel better when dealing with an uncooperative computer or WP tool…and spices up the act of reading about gardening techniques. 😉
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It does 🙂
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