In the fall of fourth grade, I got a new dress for picture day. The dress was brown velvet with princess sleeves, a satin sash, and a cream lace trim. It was a pretty dress, all silky and shiny lookin.
I only wore it once.
I don’t like velvet.
I love the soft, plush, luxurious look of velvet.
I gawk at velvet sofas, velvet jackets, velvet throws, but I won’t touch them. I don’t care how expensive or how well made it is, it’s all vile.
Touching velvet is repulsive.
Touching velvet feels wrong.
Touching velvet is like petting a cat in the wrong direction, tugging a cotton ball from a medicine bottle, pulling styrofoam-packs from a box.
Do you know what I mean?
Just thinking about touching velvet paints my skin with goosebumps.
When I think about touching velvet, I am ten and I smooth my skirt on the bus. A shiver runs through my body and I wonder how anything so beautiful can torment me to the point that my teeth ache. If I run my hand one way, it feels slightly less disturbing. This inconsistency bothers me and so I stop touching it at all. The sound of it rings in my ears.
When I get to school and take my coat off, all the girls want to touch my dress. I wince and fake smiles for their compliments.
I can’t focus on my morning work, because I can hear the sound of the velvet crunching like snow beneath me. I try to be still, but the sound lingers. I stand up, flounce and fan the skirt of my dress across the back of my seat. I’m satisfied with only my slip between me and the cold, hard chair, but I can still hear the velvet rustling with every mark my pencil makes.
I am so happy in music and at recess because the piano and the wind are louder than my dress.
By the afternoon, it’s time for math, and I pray I don’t get called to the board. Walking in silence, this dress is too loud. I try to keep my arms still at my side, but I can hear the dress crushing and crunching as I make my way to the board. No one else seems to hear it.
When I get home, I use a steak knife to tear the lace from the hem of my dress and rip the seam along the side. It has a lining, so I’m careful to ruin that as well. My father and I can both sew only adequately, so I need to mess up the dress in a way that will be too hard for either of us to fix. I hang the dress and change into my play clothes.
My father never asked me to wear the dress again, but at some point, he removed it because I’d outgrown it. If he noticed the hem, he never mentioned it.
So when Moo tells me her clothes are too scratchy, when she insists I cut her tags out and she wears tights under almost everything because the seams itch and sting her, no, I don’t fuss at her. Does she have sensory issues? Most likely. But that’s okay, I understand.
joeyfullystated 
Nooooooo!!!!!! You? Hate velvet? It seems so wrong….
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Mmhm, it’s true.
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I’ve never understood this sort of dislike. My wife hates the feel of microfiber cloths and a couple of other things too, but I can’t think of anything I really cannot bear the sensation of touching.
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Your wife may be Highly Sensitive or have sensory issues. We’re not particularly uncommon.
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She has fibro, but I don’t know if that has any bearing on it.
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Wow. This is your most visceral posting to date. I understand to some degree,because I have a similar reaction to hot,freshly ironed shirts. Of course nothing as intense. The shirts eventually cool. And of course I don’t cut up the shirt. Very strong stuff. So I can safely say no velvet berets for you to wear while playing your ukulele. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for sharing your textile quirk. I can think of almost nothing worse than a hot shirt, lol, except maybe on a cold morning 🙂
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Wow- I love the unexpectedness of this post! I didn’t see it coming.
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Thanks 🙂
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ooh I know exactly what you’re talking about. that icky feeling. I had a thing about socks, how squenching your toes inside your shoes, and that horrible rubbing feeling. I still hate socks. haha, tearing up the dress…yes I get it…I had a couple I took scissors to, so I wouldn’t ever have to wear them again! I was about your age too.
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I had hoped someone else would connect to this post, thank you! 🙂
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I totally understand what you’re saying. I had crying breakdowns on more than one morning before elementary school regarding my outfit for the day. Mom would set out the cutest clothes, and I would hate them for their scratchiness–or just because they didn’t “feel right.” Oh, how I hated turtlenecks! I remember in second grade, Mom finally gave up and let me wear the same pair of navy blue cords to school almost everyday. She had to wash them every few days, but it made mornings a little easier. I still don’t love dressing up. I’m much happier in jeans and a t-shirt. 🙂
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Your story reminds me so much of my Moo, Tonya. Thanks for sharing your experience.
I like jeans and tees too. And much prefer canvas shoes.:)
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I’m sorry Moo is dealing with these issues, but it sounds like a small change, such as, wearing tights is helping. In my experience, it improved as I got older–but never went away completely.
The first thing I do when I get home is change into jeans/ yoga pants and take off all jewelry. By the end of the day, my watch and rings are grating on me.
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Yes, she wears shorts and dresses as much as she can, and at home, as little as possible.
I’m similar, feeling constrained, but for her it’s a struggle. She didn’t want to dance anymore because of the costumes, which I think speaks volumes. Fortunately, there’s running, which means lots of shorts and tee shirts 🙂
I generally say she and I have a veritable cotton fetish. Organic cotton is better, too!
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Oh, sweet Moo. You may already be aware, but occupational therapists can address sensory issues in children. It may be helpful, especially if Moo doesn’t feel like participating in dancing or other activities she would enjoy if it weren’t for the scratchy clothing. Of course, running sounds like a great activity, too.
Yes…I’m a cotton girl as well. And, I also agree with you on the organic cotton. 🙂
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Thank you. I do know, but since I had assorted experiences with my son when he was young, I’ve tried to handle the rest of the kids’ issues privately, as much as, whenever possible. I hope that makes sense and doesn’t sound like a cop-out.
She still does dance, but not of the sort involving tutus or sequins 😉
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It completely makes sense. After all, you know your children as well as what works best for them. And, you’re right…Moo doesn’t need a tutu to enjoy dancing–maybe just a disco ball. You can send her over to Green Hill Farm, and we’ll boogie with the sheep in our cotton clothes. 😉
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AHAHAHA! She would sooo dig that! 🙂
She has a folk dance performance Saturday, but then we’ll be right down 😉
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Great! I’ll look forward to it! Best wishes on her performance! 🙂
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Thank you 🙂 She says thumbs up, heh.
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😊
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This is an extremely well-written post–I was inside your head feeling what you were feeling. I don’t have an aversion to velvet, but I hate those microfiber couches and cloths. I get all the creepy feelings when touching them. I loved this post! Dawn
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Thanks, Dawn 🙂
While I’m sorry you can relate in your own way, it’s always comforting to feel less alone with a quirk.
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Oh, dear God. That freakin’ velvet dress. I was in a state spelling bee. 7th grade. Mom was home with newborn, couldn’t go, but took part by picking out my dress. Dark blue velvet, with a faux fur collar. I never got new clothes, so many hand-me-downs, so I played along with the shopping trip. I weighed about 70 lbs. and it hung on me like a sack. I wore it, painfully, once. Never again. The look, the feel, the sound….all hideous. I get it. ☺
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I’m sorry for your suffering. Your dress sounds equally beautiful and wretched. Thanks 🙂
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Bonus memory…I won a Kodak Instamatic camera, placing 3rd. Spiked my interest in photography. ☺
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Bonus, period! 🙂
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Mary tells a similar story about being made to wear an itchy dress when she was a toddler to have her picture taken. After that, her mother brought her home, changed her into her playclothes, and got rid of the dress. I’ve seen the picture; she looks like she’d been crying.
Good story! Leave the velvet for pictures of Elvis…
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Long live comfort, John. Thanks for adding to the pile of stories 🙂
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I love velvet but I really felt for you reading that. I hate the sensation of soap, grease, mud or pastry through my fingers.Washing my hands always makes me cringe especially as I do it so often!
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Oh my! That must be awful for you! Every single day, so many times a day!
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I know! I just shudder and get on with it, but it is such a weird sensation to me.
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So…no Blue Velvet, or Velvet Elvis?
I have a similar distaste, but mine is aural. Mostly stuff I cant ID, or tell where its coming from, but theres a few I know that just send me through the roof. Civil sirens went off here last week, and I had NO idea what I was hearing, so I asked ma. She didnt hear it right away (or didnt understand what I was asking about, not sure) but oh boy. By the time it subsided, I needed another Valium. That was a strange one though, as I can usually ID those right quick and be ok..Small bells and certain types of clicking noises make me want to crawl outta my skin (cicadas are the closest I can get to describing it, but not cicadas..still havent ID’d it yet.)
I like my fabrics heavy. Wool is good to me. I love the scratchiness of it. I used to dig velvet. Had a velvet comforter when I was younger. All the things you hated about it, I liked. Go figure.
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It’s interesting.
Lots of people love velvet — and wool.
Wind chimes. The Mister and I both hate wind chimes. My parents love them. I think everyone in Florida loves them. When we stay there, sleeping is not so great, because WINDCHIMES!
I hope you figure out what’s makin you nuts 😉
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I hate windchimes too, but theyre just annoying. Mas always yelling at me because I pull hers down if I have to spend any time out there and I always seem to forget to put them back up..
But thats different. Its just annoying. The sounds I speak of actually make me sick, or just flat out panic. Its very strange how something so simple can do that.
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I get it, I just wondered if windchimes counted as small bells.
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No..small bells like on kittens collars, and those tiny jingle bells, mostly. And those tiny little porcelain ones. Ugh. Ive “accidentally” dropped a few of those..
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Ah, I see. Well we all do what we have to. 😉
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I feel that way about corduroy. It’s the devil’s fabric. Icky to the touch.
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I understand. Not something I’d pet, but for me, not on the same level as velvet.
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Those microfiber sofa’s…I will stand. haha.
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Haha! 🙂
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I understand this. What we think is going to be comfortable often is not. I think you were wise to destroy the dress and then equally as wise to realize in your own child when she is uncomfortable about something you understand and help deal with it by removing tags, etc.
betty
http://viewsfrombenches.blogspot.com/
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Thanks so much 🙂
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I can completely relate to this. Some fabrics drive me crazy, and tags? Ugh, why can’t they do away with them up by the neck? Thankfully some shirts do, but not enough. And don’t get me started on pantyhose or other compressive garments. I can’t stand feeling like a squeezed pickle, so I don’t wear those either. Even when I should…
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I’m glad you understad.
Spanx should be called Sux. LOL They work great and feel like hell. Every time I put mine on, I think about my mother’s old adage, “Ill-fitting shoes show on your face.” Am I really happy in those photos, or am I just drunk? 😉
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I feel your pain. Until I was old enough to stand up for myself and say NO! my picture day included sh*t-brown polyester suits that made me itch for days. I shudder even today when I look at those pics.
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Oh lawd. I am sorry. Comfort rules.
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I hated wearing corduroy pants for roughly the same reason. Always surprised me how much it offended my mom. She wasn’t the one wearing them.
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Corduroy and microfiber are really takin a hit today, Josh.
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I felt your pain. Really felt it. Glad you can understand Moo reacting this way so she doesn’t have to go through similar pain.
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I’m glad you understand 🙂
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I know the velvet whereof you speak. Crunchy, stiff, loud. Yeah, it should be banned.
But there is a class of velvet that drapes softly, quietly, and reminds me of wealthy women from the 1920s or 30s. I expect it might be a bit hot to wear, tho.
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Nope, as I wrote, no matter how expensive or fine it is, I hate it ALL.
But hey, thanks for stoppin by! 🙂
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Wool drives me crazy!
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I’ve never worn anything that was velvet – thankfully. I’ve never liked velvet, or velours, or most faux furs and I think I finally realized why. Your post said it all.
I have to cut labels out from clothing and I’m intensely picky about what fabrics I can wear without twitching uncomfortably.
I was occasionally called a *princess* because of it, but then I discovered my youngest son had the same problem. That was my first clue that some people are just overly sensitive.
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YUP! Thank you for validating my own experience.
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I think we sensitives deserve more respect! 🙂
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I can’t stand fabrics that make noise.
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Funny…I love the feel of velvet, but I can’t stand microfiber cloth or sometimes satin, because my hands are always so dry they catch on those fabrics. Especially the microfiber. I won’t use cleaning rags like that in my house. So I understand a little bit your sentiment, just about a different fabric!
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interesting post. Sensory issues are more common than people realise. I am glad your experiences have made you sensitive to your own child’s issues. I hated tulle in dresses as did my daughter She also hated woollen things. I also disliked turtle kneck jumpers. I didn’t mind the lower ones but the full on turtle necks made me feel like I was choking
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Oh yes, some of those turtlenecks really do feel like a strangle! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 Do you have a blog?
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Oh – I know this feeling!!! For me it happens with mangoes. I just love the smell and the flavour of them BUT I cannot bite into one! Or cut it myself! Eeeek – just thinking about it sets me on edge too.
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I take it the red velvet cake I have baking in the oven for you I can just feed to the birds now also?
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LOL no, red velvet’s tasty, and I’m sure yours is divine 🙂 I prefer a recipe made with beet juice. I am not into red #40. I like not rashing and itching!
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I had a “fancy” daughter who wore all of my leftover dresses, yes my Mom was a hoarder of my dresses. Carrie is my artist and still wears hippie looking dresses and tie dye skirts. She also has a few extra dresses which she could not bear to part with, Joey. Ironically, she has NO girls! Just Micah and Skyler, her boys who are 7 and 11.
My second, youngest daughter wore football and baseball jerseys. She made no sense out of her teams, no Ohio ones, just the blue and white tarheels, (My brother got his Master’s there so she thought they were “cool” but she loved the blue and white Dukes. My goodness, did I have to wrestle her to wear softly made worn out cotton dresses which had not one bit of scratch to them since her sister or one of my babysitting girls, (Lindsay) passed them down to Felicia. We tease Felicia that she will have a fancy girl and no boys. Lol
I have had many many students over the 9 years of teaching special needs preschool where once they got into the bathroom they took all of their clothes off and wanted to run around “naked as a jaybird!” 🙂 😀
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Joey, I find this post absolutely fascinating!!! My son has sensory issues just like you (and Moo). I have to put his pajamas pants on inside out so the seams don’t itch him. I cut out all his tags. He absolutely will not wear sweatpants that are fuzzy on the inside – he likes khakis, just khakis. He has Sensory Processing Disorder, and I understand on a certain level why certain things bother him. But your post paints such a vivid picture in my head – I can FEEL you discomfort, I UNDERSTAND your anxiety. Thank you for helping me understand my son better!
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I’m glad it was helpful to you in understanding your son.
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I feel you on the velvet. Little Man is very picky about his clothes, too. He mostly wears the sleeky Under Armor type shirts (except not that brand usually because it’s expensive as hell) when they’re clean.
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Guess you didn’t like Bobby Vinton (think it was him) that sang “she wore blue velvet…”
I used to own a blue velvet blazer in my younger years but the midsection made me stop wearing it so it was donated to some lucky soul.
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I like the song, and the movie Blue Velvet, but no blue blazers for me! Sorry you outgrew yours, though.
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I support your feelings toward velvet. Not that I wear much. My wife was removing tags from clothing for 30 years for me, until the mfgs wised up and started printing them on the cloth. You’re a good mom to support Moo. What about velour towels? I always use the other side when I find one of those in a hotel.
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I can’t say I’ve been exposed to velour towels. There are some microfiber, quick-dry ones I do not like, though.
I’m glad to have your support. 🙂
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Oh, I once wiped my face with a microfiber rag – yuck.
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I’m glad to count you in the sensory specialist group! Haha!
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I always thought velvet felt soft, but as a child it was too rich for my family budget. But, I can understand the running your hand on it the wrong way. At this point in life, I don’t have sensory issues just comfort issues. 🙂
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Oh man, horrible. I SO get that. I have found fabric like that before, although the only experience I had with actual velvet was a very soft one and not quite like this, but I couldn’t run my hand the opposite way. My favorite outfit as a kid for dressup though was a velveteen jumper. It had no nap that could be moved, and it was cotton, and SOFT. If I can’t cut a tag out so that it will be completely clean I have to put a strip of tape where the tag was or over the tag before I can wear a top. My nighties (no PJs because of waistbands) and underwear all gets holes in it (and my sheets) because I like them more and more as they get softer . . . . Poor Moo.
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My favorite shirt has 17 holes in it, Luanne. No lie. I’ve already had to cut the cuffs and collar out for the ripping, but it is the oldest, softest thing I own!
Tags are wretched.
Poor Moo indeed.
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I love the feel of velvet. This post made me think of my daughter who can’t stand to touch cotton balls…lol
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