I’m just jumping in and we’ll see where I land. I understand y’all may not want to read a lengthy post about jobs, yet here I am. I don’t blog for you.
Okay, so when I was young and single, it was not uncommon for me to work two or even three jobs at a time. Work all day at school or office, and when available, cold call for insurance guy in the evening. Then on weekends, deliver pizza.
When I was job-oriented, it was a different time. I went to places with signs reading NOW HIRING APPLY WITHIN, filled out an application for employment (this was on paper, we used our hands to write then) and a manager would speak to me, sometimes to schedule an interview, but mostly, people simply hired me on the spot.
I was not special. This happened to most of my friends in the olden days.
On Sunday, you could get your dad to save the classified section from the newspaper (A newspaper is a folded paper catalog of current events, articles, entertainment, and photos created by people called journalists.) I don’t have time to discuss the evolution of journalism, so let’s focus on those classifieds. Want ads, we called them.
“Drivers Wanted Call XXX-XXXX and ask for Jack.”
More professional ads might include licenses or typing requirements with “Send Resume to XXX Business Park Drive Suite XXX, ATTN: Sue Worker-Bee.”
For an actual job interview, women were expected to appear in a skirt, hosiery, and closed-toed shoes. This was all-important to modesty and professionalism. You wouldn’t dream of wearing anything sleeveless, low-cut, above the knee, or flashy. You might not get the job if you wore perfume, too much make-up, or bow clips on your shoes. No, you pulled your hair away from your face, put on your pearl earrings, and well, basically, you dressed like someone had died, but smiled like you were happy about it. I was always good at this, because even at 19, I looked like everyone’s school marm.
Men wore suits and ties to interviews.
It was a very long time ago. We almost never saw anyone’s underwear in those days.
It was a serious time then, when your resume was black on white or black on cream and printed to fit one page. Having pages plural in your resume implied that you were extremely well-educated and had decades of experience, which could land you in the overqualified pile. If you used colored ink on your resume then, people would think you were some sorta special idiot who obviously didn’t take herself seriously enough to get a job.
These days, if there’s a NOW HIRING sign that means you go online to apply. You can literally walk into a place, say you’re looking for a job, tell a manager you have ten years of experience, and he’ll send you to a computer to apply.
These days, most jobs are advertised online. You fill out an online application, you email your resume, take a series of personality tests, answer surveys about your skills and experience, and some computer’s algorithm has a look-see and emails you congratulations for being considered or rejects you in such a brutal way that you almost miss that guy who dumped you on your birthday. Mostly, you don’t get anything.
In the days when people used landlines and 3.5″ disks, it was rare anyone needed a second interview and regardless, the interviewer usually said something like, “We’ll let you know by Friday.” This meant that if no one called you by Friday at 6, you didn’t get the job. Now, you might have six interviews over the course of six months. You can’t get excited about it until they ask for your urine or tell you they’ve sent for your background check.
I discovered all this when my husband returned to civilian life. I’ve seen it replayed over and over with other friends and family as well.
Unless you know an actual person at the job, or match the computer’s algorithm bullet point by bullet point, you probably won’t get the job.
For some time I had the luxury of looking at jobs. I’m a good skimmer, I could get a job skimming job ads and linking them to people who might be qualified. I didn’t see any ads for that.
Single, childless me lingered over jobs that married mother me shook her head at.
Large businesses seem to use their want ad as free advertisement. Many of them are like bad state schools that won’t accept your transfer credits. Oh, you have experience with fire, but not our fire. Our fire is hotter and brighter and it will burn people like you.
Most jobs involve a lot of acronyms. Those are not jobs for me. I don’t even know what RAM stands for. (Something Memory. Probably not Radium.)
Some jobs are just downright hysterical. They may as well read Abandon all hope of being treated like a person, get divorced, surrender your children, and move into the office because you will live here, and for this, we will pay you slightly less than you made at your lemonade stand in 1983.
Some of these jobs, I can’t even tell what they do. They ensure the blargle on the doohickey and oversee the hrmnr of the lala while maintaining the thingamabobs with an emphasis on the whatchits. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I know the words, I simply can’t understand the work. I presume pay is commensurate to one’s experience with unicorns and magic mushrooms.
A lot of them, and I do mean a lot of them, have been there every time I’ve looked in the past three years.
There’s a certain doctor’s office that can’t seem to keep a receptionist to save its life. I’d be lying if I said I don’t kinda wanna feign a need to find out what the hell is goin on over there.
But then, see, I was planning to start looking for a job come August. The girls are going back to school in August you know. To the same school, at the same time. August would be a mighty good time to start looking for a job.
But I don’t have to look, because I got a job.
I got a job the same way I always have, it fell into my lap. I wasn’t looking for it. It wasn’t in the want ads. I happened into it the way I happened into so many other circumstances.
I really believe that. Yes, this was a bit earlier than expected, not the ideal time, but it is an ideal job.
Okay, so I’d rather have Anthony Bourdain’s job, or maybe earn a dollar for every point I make in Scrabble, but in reality, this job is ideal.
You probably wanna know what my job is but I won’t be blogging about it.
I am willing to share my personal happiness about some of it, during This Most Auspicious Time.
I can take the girls to school in the morning.
It’s a quiet, professional environment.
My boss is a democrat.
I am paid more than I made at my lemonade stand in 1983.
I wear jeans on Casual Friday.
I do not have to wear a name tag and have people sing “Jolene” at me.
So nice for Joeys.
It’s quite the novelty after 10 years of being at home. The other day, I put gas in my own car, like some real woman of the world.
Tell me your about your job hunting experiences?
joeyfullystated 
Oooooo, I have my lap here wide open for something to land too. What I’d most like to do (apart earning money from writing and/or photography, which kind of doesn’t just happen), is transcribe stuff from paper into computer, possibly fat philosophical novels. I’m rather fast at typing (and erasing). Please please can somebody pay me for that? And I’m very very happy for you, from the heart.
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Thank you 🙂
I hope a great translation job falls into your lap 🙂
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My most memorable job interview, back in the days when you went in, dressed demurely, and interviewed in person, was with a man who would only talk with me after he created my astrological star chart to see if I’d be compatible with the other employees. Once I jumped that hurdle, it was all downhill from there. Who I was in the now, less important than who the stars said I would be. 😉
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Haha! I have never heard of anything like that before! I loooove astrology, but I’m pretty sure angels and asses don’t fall into any one sun sign. That is a riot. I shall not forget this.
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It was memorable, if only because it was so awkward to wait, sitting there, while this man researched me. I got a job offer, btw. But didn’t take the job, because something better came along. [Guess he didn’t see that in his chart!]
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I guess not!
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I usually stayed at jobs for a long time except the time I started working at a fast food restaurant, and on day 2 they handed me a mop and told me to clean the bathrooms. I quit that day. The most recent job interview I had—15 years ago, I was told my skills were too ‘old’. Meh, being a mom, and now a retired 24-hour-a-day mom, I am not unhappy with my choice.
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I’m not big on mopping, and it’s not like I love cleaning my own bathroom, so I get that totally.
I am happy for your choice, too. Without retired expert moms to consult, what would the rest of us do? 🙂
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Unfortunately, we still have to mop the floors and clean bathrooms.
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True story, but then, what’s the alternative, paying someone to do it, scheduling them to come, and hoping they do it right? Nah.
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True….
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Good going!
I’m searching now, but it’s difficult because I don’t really want to stay in my field (at least, I don’t think I do). Still trying though…
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I hope something fabulous comes along for you. It’ll be nice for you to have a change and learn some new things, hm?
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Awesome post. Some of the employers have lost their everlovin’ minds over the latest trends. Group interviews with play acting of scenarios and such. The applicants are the same way. They can’t even fill out a basic form, then file a complaint when they aren’t asked for an interview. Then there is the intern issue. Find a college kid with $90K in student loans and let her work for free to gain experience while dangling a promised $12 per hour job at then end of two years. Glad you found something suitable.
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Play acting through imagined scenarios is big in teaching interviews. I never was good at that. I had to be hired for my other, less interesting talents. I never got a theater endorsement with my teaching license. lol
I must agree with you on those fresh from college — they’re essentially screwed until someone gives them a chance to gain experience. Entry level jobs require 2-3 years experience? Internships are so competitive, why wouldn’t they be free? Madness. Ugh, I don’t envy our kids.
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They want college, even advanced degrees, then expect them to work for less than the garbage truck guy makes.
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I know it.
It’s galling.
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Great word choice. You’re on fire today.
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Haha, thanks. I think this just gets me riled up!
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And thank you 😀
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I love this. I had the chance to be on the other side of the interview desk. It was enlightening. In my lifetime, there was only 1 interview that I had where I didn’t get a job offer. For great reasons.
I’ve been fortunate, and have stepped into many positions…fate, chance, luck, opportunity, whatever. It just always seemed to work out for me. Now, I see how the college-educated 20-somethings are struggling. I don’t know how to give advice any more. It’s rough out there.
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I’ve always been lucky with jobs, or providence has stepped in, what have you.
It really is a problem for the young people. I mean, I think it’s harder now than it used to be, for anyone. Jobs seem more specific. You’re right about the college-educated 20-somethings, the inexperienced people, they’ve got to fight their way into anything, let alone professional and paying enough to live on.
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I just uploaded my resume yesterday.
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I wish you the very best! 😀
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RAM=Random Access Memory. Just Fyi. 😛
I used to do lots of side jobs for people back home, mostly landlords for cheaper rent. Some cleaning, drywall, and various other dirty work no one else wanted to do Like clearing out 20 year residents rooms that had passed and no one knew they were hoarders till they did..). Even had to wash a bunch of siding one NOVEMBER because the lady wanted to have it put up the next spring, and it had sat for over a year between buildings. Talk about dirty, wet, & cold. I got paid well for that one.
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Right? The Mister has told me, the boy one has told me, now you’ve told me. I might remember one day.
Odd jobs can be lucrative, and best of all, they offer a change in scenery 🙂
I should clean my siding. Like two years ago. Perhaps the vines will cover it and I can give up 😉
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This siding I had washed was on the ground, all in a pile. It was a mess. 2 floors worth of a 2 family home..Gah. Messy, but lucrative. Hopefully yours will be MUCH, MUCH easier of a job. Lol.
Maybe youll remember it now as its written down 😉
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I kinda gathered the siding was on the ground, or leaning somewhere…Yes, mine would be easier than that, but ladders…
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Yep. I hear ya. I wont do em either.
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I used to work two jobs most of the time,prior to starting my own joints. Every restaurant job has a craziness to it. My idea was to deal with two different types of craziness in order to maintain my own “sanity”. Well congrats on your new job. I hope it works out the way you want.
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Thank you, I really love it. I actually look forward to it.
You make an EXCELLENT point. You know what else? I almost wrote it. Well, I did write it, but then I had to cut a lot because it was too long, but when you work 2-3 jobs, it keeps anyone from OWNING your ass. You know? Like, if things get too crazy at one, you can just add more hours from the other. There’s a kind of freedom in that. I always preferred freedom to stability. I liked being able to walk away.
Then I got married. With kids. LOL
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My current job fell into my lat, 28 years ago and counting. It may not be the best job I ever had, but it’s the best one that paid well enough for me to support a family. My interviews/job hunts from Hell will fill a post. I’ll add this to the “inspired by Joey” pile in my notebook.
Wishing you the best of luck. You might not want to blog about it, I understand, but keep good notes in case you ever do. I have a folder: “Write after you retire”
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I would LOVE to read about your job hunts and interviews, truly.
I don’t think I’ll ever blog about my jobs, but my writer’s mind keeps the important stuff anyway. Maybe when I’m at an advanced age, haha, I’ll write about jobs from my 20’s!
I must say, I have never known the burden of solely supporting my family financially and I count it among my blessings, as I’m sure your wife does as well.
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Ha “advanced age” I am never going to get past that. I have to check. I think I wrote about this once before, but maybe on a different blog. There are a couple funny stories in there. You may have saved me from the summer doldrums of ideas.
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I’m not going to get over the advanced age comment, either, so I can’t imagine how you feel.
Link me when you have it/them!
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Congrats! I don’t talk too much about my work life on here either so I understand and respect your decision not too share too much.
You covered a lot of ground in this one post: Fashion choices at work, the demise of journalism, how technology has changed both job-hunting and hiring practices – nicely done.
If I ever figure out how to make a living with doorscursions I’ll let you know okay?
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Thanks, Norm. This blog has long had varied subjects, and long it should stay so.
There was quite a bit of thought. Believe it or not, I edited it down considerably, because I really could go on a rant about how technology has not been the most helpful tool for the common man when it comes to jobs.
I can do doorscursions with my job, which I’m sure you guessed, would be a requirement 😉
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Wonderful! I am especially fond of defining a newspaper. Bravo!
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I once applied for a job at a old-fashioned golf course when in addition to a resume, they wanted me to fill out an application that asked for the same information as was on the resume. It was ridiculous! Luckily I didn’t get that job!
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That is the way it is now, as far as I can see, send the resume and then type it all in to the fields on the application anyway.
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Try being over 55 and handicapped and trying to find a job. You won’t. I learned the hard way. I still get emails from headhunters wanting me to update my resume. I write back and tell them I’ve retired, and they write back and say “lucky you.” Yeah, right…
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I’ve heard there’s a lot of age discrimination, John. I hear that a lot, actually. From various people who I would consider highly employable. It’s a damn shame is what it is.
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Congratulations! I’m so glad you snagged a good one. 🙂
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Thanks, Marian 🙂
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Congratulations on the perfect job!! at almost the perfect time (even if you didn’t know it). Why is it nothing lands in my lap, I want to know? When is this teacher appearing crap supposed to happen in my kitchen, living room, or yard?
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Thank you so much.
I really do not know, but it might be the way you think. Like, you know, have positivity and stuff. I always think “Something perfect will come along” and eventually it does. Waiting can be a real drag and the timing is often off. Actually, I can’t think of a time it came when I wanted it. I don’t believe in coincidences, I am a fatalist. This is how good things happen to me.
Ask yourself: Are you really ready for the teacher? 😛
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Congrats to ya! As for me, it’s still slim pickins. Don’t know if you were following my blog last year, but if you want to find out about my job hunting experiences, just check out ‘No Country for Old Men’ and ‘A Barista’s Life for Me.’ It ain’t pretty.
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Thanks. I’m off to check them out!
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By the by, your site needs a search bar for such things 🙂
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Done. Thanks for the suggestion.
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Reblogged this on Cordelia's Mom, Still and commented:
As someone who may be forced into looking for a new job before the end of July, I find this post extremely relevant. I was planning to keep my job-hunting secret, but as many of you know, Not CM let the cat out of the bag (so to speak) earlier this week (did you miss that post, check it out here).
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Thanks for the Re-Blog. I don’t envy you looking this summer. I wish you BIG LUCK and may providence guide you! 😀
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Yup. Just like that. Really just like that.
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🙂
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I absolutely hate job hunting. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been at my current workplace for almost 6.5 years. Well, that and I like my workplace. I worked there for two years while I was still studying (pharmacy), but I still had to do two interviews before getting the intern position (they said it was the official procedure or something). Great thing was my second interview was very condensed / cut short because they needed me to cover for someone who had called in sick!
Anyway, congrats on the job! Hope you enjoy it!
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Thank you, I do love it.
I, too, have interviewed for a job I really already had. I don’t know what information is gleaned from interviewing someone who already does the job, but it seems like a waste of time on both sides. Formality, bleh.
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Congrats!! Like my job itself, my job seeking history is boring. Mostly like yours – old school with actual paper applications and ink pens.
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Your description of the old way of getting jobs was spot on — and missed! My son, a recent college grad is just about to start his first “real” job after working 3 jobs for a year and a half. No matter how many resumes he/anyone sends out, nobody ever writes back. How hard is it to copy and paste “thanks but no thanks”? I hated that when I was looking for my current job — which I’ve had for 13 years now. Why are prospective employers allowed to be/expected to be rude?
Cordelia’s Mom sent me …
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Thanks for coming over and reading 🙂
And thanks for your commiseration.
I feel for our kids. Mine had a long unpaid internship and while he now has a job, he’s still looking for a better one. It’s been just over a year. It’s a bad business model, this online stuff.
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Agreed! And so unfair to them!
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Congratulations, Joey. I am really pleased for you.
I really enjoyed reading this as it brought back so many memories of past job interviews (by the way, at my last one (last year),, I still went in the sort of clothes your maiden aunty would be thinking were a bit frumpy!
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Thank you. Frumpy is a reliable choice 🙂
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Looking for a job is second only to moving house on my list of most hated activities.
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They’re both high on my list as well, Dale.
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My job hunting experiences would take as long as your post so I’ll just say that yours wasn’t long because I spent all of it laughing my head off and then I was sad when it ended too soon.
Okay, maybe I’ll mention the look I got from the employment man at the car factory when I applied for a job pressing out car parts and wrote in the box for Highest Education Qualification Achieved: “Bachelor of Science, Monash University”.
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That’s very kind of you, thank you!
Haha, yes, I understand about the BA — but does it make you qualified to press out car parts? lol Can you even work a cookie press? 😛 Thanks for sharing the laughter!
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Congratulations! A job, a good job, a job that came to you!! I hope there’s more of that stuff going around!!
I remember the ‘good old days’ of finding a job. As much as I like change and applaud most progress – when it’s real progress, I miss the ‘good old days’ when it comes to finding a job.
… maybe if I sit here long enough, my perfect job will land in my lap too 🙂
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Oh I hope it does! It really is a wretched system nowadays.
Thanks 🙂
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I haven’t had a job in many years, and don’t miss it at all. When I did, it was just part time things, all kinds of things. Don’t think I ever had an actual sit down interview…just fill out app. and they said yes, start now. Good luck and happy days with your new job! 🙂
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Thanks 🙂
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I spent many years running an HR department in the days when underwear was definitely ‘under’ at all times. 🙂 I hope your new employment adventure goes well. 🙂
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Thank you, I do so love my job 🙂
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Congrats! When I was pondering a second job I was down right amazed how much this crap has changed! I did a one hour survey that read like “Are you a dummy, check yes or no” that even the stupidest of people I would think would pass.
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Right? It’s madness! I feel really fortunate 😀 Thanks!
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Taking that survey online really made me understand why people can’t make change that work retail!
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I UNDERSTAND.
I’ve seen my husband go through it twice in the last three years. Utter madness, I tell you!
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Would that be THE MISTER? LOL
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Yes. Who else?
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Congrats on your job! Once I applied to teach evenings at an adult education program. Went through the interview, discussed my background, etc. Then the guy tells me that I would be a great fit, except the job had been filled, and then he offered me a position on the grounds staff. Um, no.
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ON THE GROUNDS STAFF!? OMG! That’s so…WRONG!
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For fear. If there’s no job available, cancel the damn interview!
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RIGHT.
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Hilarious but truthful post! I’m about to write something about finding jobs, too, one of these days, but in a sort of different angle. Meanwhile, I’ve had my own out-of-job-and-desperately-looking-for-one experiences myself. Those were pretty depressing times and I hopefully won’t experience them again….Congrats on your new job 🙂
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Thanks, and thanks again! 🙂
Let me know when you publish your job-finding post 🙂
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Will do. 🙂
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My most memorable interview was functioning through a full blown (you sound like your speaking through a train tunnel, I need to remember to blink lest you think I’m on drugs) anxiety attack with the man who would later become my husband. And no, I didn’t get the job.
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Oh that must have been awful at the time! But then, most husbands last longer than most jobs… so that’s VERY interesting 😀
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I pitch for projects/contracts and I hate jargon. I am likely to cut a meeting short if they start using jargon and expect me to be impressed. Use your damn words! My jobs are all City of London/finance based, so it’s considered racy if I go to a meeting in a non-white shirt, or a non-black/navy suit. Sometimes, I’m racy.
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