Back in 2013, when we bought our house, I called and set up our utilities. The water company was not whatever it was I paid in Indy before we left, because our city within the city has its own. Whole new bill for us. The lady said it would be a while before we got a bill. This is what I wrote in my notes:
water/sewer/trash – start service 8/16 – $30.00 start-up fee – billed later
In the fall, when really, we’d forgotten we even had a water/sewer/trash bill, it finally arrived. I don’t remember the exact amount, but it was more than $200, and of course, due before Christmas.
No, no, it’s fine, really, I’ll just brine our turkey in this bucket of tears…
It was the very first bill we ever got from them, but because of the amount, it came in the red warning ink with a disconnect notice.
We are the kind of people who enjoy having water, and so we decided we should pay that immediately, in person, and get a receipt. Except, we had NO IDEA where to go.
If you think the letterhead should show the address, you’re silly like me.
FIL said he knew it was someplace on the fort.
I looked it up, and got the address of the water tower. I drive by the water tower (all the time) and there are no admin buildings.
I drove over where the post office, police station, and courts are, but it wasn’t there.
Of all things, I found the address on Facebook.
We drove over to the office, paid the bill, and even got a recycling schedule.
But we noticed, every time we paid the bill, it took forever for the check to clear. We started paying it with online bill pay — still took forever. It became obvious that their favorite thing to do was to process our payment right as they mailed the new bill, so our bills always came red and disconnect-like.
It’s not a flat fee, so even if you think it’d be clever to double your most recent bill and add some cushion to get ahead of this madness, they still mail a statement for a month you’ve paid.
They do not offer an online bill pay option.
In the words of my mother talking about things that make no sense, I tell you, IT ARE INSANE.
In December of 2014, Sassy told me this sad story about, “My friend Polly was supposed to go to Chicago to see her family, but I guess they got a really big water bill or something and now they can’t go.” YA DON’T SAY?!?
In November of 2015, we received a letter instead of a bill. The letter was about how it was impossible for them to bill us for December, but to make sure we’d be prepared to give them all our January monies. I asked The Mister, “Whaddya suppose that means?” He said, “I don’t fuckin know.”
It meant in December our bill came, two months’ worth, in red, due the first week of January.
We often go in person to pay this bill. With cash. We just feel better about it that way.
But we didn’t last month, because we are stupid or whatever. We paid it online, on the 20th of June. So, this month, The Mister handed me a bill from the water company, with $159 somethin due before July 15, 2016. All in red, with a disconnect notice.
Not twenty minutes later, he found a discrepancy in our checking account. For the exact amount of the water bill.
I’m so glad I have clean water and a working sewer and that someone collects our trash, and I’m glad we can pay for it, but OMG CASH THE FUCKING CHECK!
It’s like the water company can’t find the bank. I feel like there’s a job there.
Wanted: Deposit specialist. Must know where the bank is.
Do y’all have any weird bills? Are there certain bills you prefer to pay in person?
joeyfullystated 
Would that be accounts receivable or accounts payable? In either case the person in charge is probably related to someone.
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Accounts receivable.
I just called this morning to confirm, they have credited our account, but the check has not cleared. YET. Still. Ugh. So annoying. lol
Prolly you’re right, I bet there are all of ten people in that office! lol
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My youngest son lives in Portland. I sent him a check for his daughters’ Christmas and he gave it to his ex. Still has’t been cashed. I have to do something different this year.
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Ah, yes. Gift card maybe?
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That is what I normally give them but I thought they may want something other than Toys R Us and that Old Navy place.
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This was very, very sad and depressing, Joey. I believe and know you are a bill paying (law abiding) family. I don’t understand how this is so poorly run! There must be hundreds of pissed off water dept. customers! I would be screaming inside and trying to pay cash in person demanding a receipt. What the heck are they always asking for money ahead, like the Dec-Jan. period? Arrggh!
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It’s very odd. I mean, it IS a business. Cash those checks! lol
That whole “We can’t bill you now, We’ll bill you later” thing bothered me, too. That never seems to work on the customer end of things…Unless you’re Wimpy buying hamburgers 😉
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Wimpy, yes! I would let him have a “burger today for money on Tuesday!” 😀
Water company, NO! This would make me write a letter to the city! Don’t water companies have to answer to someone?!
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This is the most inefficient and ridiculous billing procedure that I’ve heard of. And to have to search the bowels of FB for the address to pay? Ugh.
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I KNOW! Here they are with their red ink and their demands, without an easy way to pay AND sitting on checks! Not what you want in a utility company!
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Is there some dude or dudette higher up in the hierarchy that Bitchy Joey can go yell at about this? Because I bet once Bitchy Joey introduces herself, they’ll get all kinds of scared. 🙂
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I have never inquired. There are like, almost 50 thousand people in my city within a city, so I’m sure in good company.
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It’s altogether ridonkulous. I’d get anxiety every time I saw that red disconnect threat. Then I’d have to charge them for my therapy appointments…
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YES!
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That’s frustrating. They should take a lesson fro American Express. As soon as you drop the payment in the mailbox, the money is gone from your account. I don’t know how they do it, but they cash those checks FAST.
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Nice! I wish they all were like that, really.
The Mister had to inquire with the bank, then I had to inquire with the water company, and everything’s fine, but that’s ridiculous when you’re paying your bills every month. Gets old real quick, it does.
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The late-like appearance would tick my wife off beyond belief.
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Your wife is a reasonable woman; the water company is not reasonable.
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Yeah we have a few that drive me crazy too. They can’t seem to bill correctly. They decide we’re late, run a credit card they insist on having on file, then send me a bill which I wind up double paying. I actually cancelled that credit card, because they refused to un-authorize this company. Let ’em try running it now.
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OH now, see, that’s a whole other animal right there, gettin overcharged in recharge. That’s enough to make me rage, I don’t blame you for cancelling the card after dealing with those companies. Ugh. I feel like we had one of those a long time ago…Good riddance. Maybe something techy…
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Must be Hoosier water utility thing! I can not for the life of me understand how you can pay for anything online if you choose to in 2016!
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I KNOW! Join us in the new millennium, water company!
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We don’t even have that here. Trash and recycling collection, sewage & water are all supplied by the municipality and the costs are included in our annual property taxes. One bill for everything, once a year, payable in up to 4 installments. Much fewer headaches.
They’ve been talking for years about tying water taxes to actual household consumption rather than the current flat rate based on property value, but every time it comes up at city council, it gets voted down – damn socialists 😉
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Oh how nice, Norm. Imma wannabe socialist. *sigh* What about people who rent their homes/apartments? Is there’s included in rent, then?
I’m sure it’s less a hassle.
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Most moms have an acute sense of fairness so I’m sure you’d make a great socialist 😉
Yes, for renters the owner of the property is responsible for the tax bill and then builds part of those costs into the price they charge for rent.
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Yep, totally jealous. Do enjoy your socialism a bit extra for me today.
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What a ridiculous system they have (if you can call it that)!
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Yep. Ridiculous.
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The way you’ve written this is so funny, but I hate to laugh because of how damn frustrating that has to be!
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It’s wretched, but you were supposed to laugh a bit here and there 😛
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Ridiculous and inept. I’d be offended by the disconnect notices. They need to get their act together. We need our H2O !! (and the toilets need to damn well flush). Our water/sewer is billed quarterly, and is massive. I paid less in rent back in the day. ! I miss the well/septic systems we had more control of during prior years….here, no choice. City services.
I do pay a lot of stuff with checks, but I deliver them locally. An old family habit from childhood. ☺
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This one, we do tend to pay in person, not that it matters too much, but it is nice to know the cash is spent and not have to wait to check it off as it clears.
We had quarterly service ages ago, so long ago now it was $66 per quarter, haha!
YES, their ‘system’ is totally ridiculous and inept!
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We don’t have any weird bills, just constant calls from the same debt recovery management company. We have never defaulted or been late paying any bill so I’m not sure why they keep calling. I just ignore it because it’s a recorded message.
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I get those too. They have “an urgent message about my credit card debt” — that I don’t have. lol
I also get one about student loan debt — that I don’t have. lol
I’m glad you don’t have weird bills 🙂
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Bureaucracy…Jesus! Not only can they not find the bank, they can’t find their ass with both hands! Fort Collins isn’t bad when it comes to billing, but they like to stick their nose into every little thing you do to your house (and their hand into your wallet). We had to replace the water heater last year and the city required some asinine test I’d never heard of before, to the tune of an extra 150 bucks. Bite me!
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:O No thank you, Nosy City, no thank you!
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Oh man, I feel you on this subject. These big companies figure out a way (with their diabolical computers–couldn’t do it before those) to rig the system so it’s always against me. And then trying to get things righted–takes forever!! Ugh. But I am of your same type–loving running water. So weird of me. But that’s the way it is.
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Yeah, well we’re all in this together
Hey, did you see my photo post yesterday? I made it special for you 🙂
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I’m jealous that Norm’s is included in his property taxes. We also get a separate water/sewage/trash bill, but it’s not monthly. I wish it was.
After all these years, I haven’t yet figured out the cycle, but it seems to be every 3 or 4 months. If only the bill arrived on the SAME months each year.
Thankfully, I have it paid on automatic withdrawal on the due date, but It’s still an *ouch* every time I see it hit my account.
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I understand. We used to pay quarterly, and it did seem to sneak up. Every 90 days seems to go quicker at times…
I’m jealous of Norm, too.
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My water is the only bill that I don’t have automatically withdrawn. Mostly, because it required me going downtown and finding their office. It was my first time living in a town with parallel parking…and Floridians don’t parallel park (in all fairness, some probably do). I didn’t know there were parking garages.
Three years later and it is still my most annoying bill (also because I pay for city water that leaves hard water build up everywhere).
Disconnect threats would have me livid!
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Ah, yeah, here in limestone central, we have QUITE the hard water. Oh yes ma’am.
Disconnect notices make me anxious. No likey. They really suck at billing.
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Maybe, you can pay the bill in coins (in person, with a smile). 🙂
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Haha, I wouldn’t dare.
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I have the very same problem with my cable/phone/internet bill, which is all in one bill. I pay online at the beginning of the month, all the credit card, electric, and the cable bundle. This is done by the 3rd of every month. All the other bills, except rent and medical insurance, are automatically withdrawn from my bank account. In the middle of the month, I get a paper bill from the cable company, for the next month (They’re not supposed to be sending paper bills!), and for the month I just paid! What the F***?? The amount for my cell phone is deducted on the 22nd of the month. I usually run out of airtime by about the 26th of the month. This month, I was 5 1/2 miles from home, by air, when my cell ran out of airtime. I am in a wheelchair, hundreds of miles from home, and my cell phone is dead. Why do I bother paying these bills??
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Yeah, that sounds diabolical. Not having phone service is NOT okay, especially in your situation! I think you might should look for a new provider.
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I think I might should look for a new provider as well.
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Make that 5 1/2 hours from home, by air… 🙂
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Holy shit it must be something with water companies! Ours is in a building that I think is really a cave that they built some sort of cheap-ass facade over. Not only do they not offer auto-pay, you must PAY for the privilege of paying online – $3.95, in fact. My husband always gives me shit for keeping a checkbook and stamps handy. I told him I wasn’t about to pay those bastards nearly $4 to take our damn money.
And then once, AT&T F’ed up our internet bill so badly we ended up with 4 different account numbers, all disconnected, within a week’s time before finally getting a working account number, with the final indignity of being threatened with collections for all the ones that never existed. After numerous calls (totaling several hours of actual time) and saved online chat transcripts, I finally Googled their CEO at the time and emailed him directly. To his credit, he actually had his personal assistant fix it. True story. But I still get chills every time I think about having to deal directly with AT&T/The Hydra.
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I’m OMGing at the AT&T bill thing. :O OMG OMG OMG
I KNOW! I do not understand why we must pay to pay people we’re paying. Who invented this business? lol $4 a month for 12 months is new shoes, dammit!
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Our water bills in Devon are the highest in the country, because of the length of the coastline and the fact that part of the bill is from the cost of keeping beaches clean, (we do depend heavily on the tourist trade, so that’s fair enough) but the thing I most object to is that, as South West Water is the sister company of one that deals with a completely different part of the country, (the exact opposite side of the UK, in fact) we have to pay towards the upkeep of THEIR beaches, too!
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That does seem odd, where do those people’s taxes go? Do they also pay to keep yours clean? It’s hard to figure sometimes, given the size differences…
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It’s all very hazy. It just means that the overall costs of the whole company are spread across both regions, I think, so we end up paying a premium.
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Sorry so costly.
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Amazing in this day of technology. Our water bill comes every three months and it is a whopper. I don’t have any I feel the need to pay in person, but I do wonder aloud when I look at our electric bill and note the cost of the electricity I used is less than the taxes every month.
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Ugh.
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Joey – omg is there something wrong with this place! Argh!
I wish I and time to read some of the comments here….
I bet they are fun.
quick story – many years ago (like maybe ten) the hubs and I would actually get post office money orders for certain bills because of stalled deposits – and well – not sure if will work in this case – but it really helped us at that time –
anyhow – I also had a friend who said city and government jobs can get away with lame or inept practices because there is sometimes less accountability with the “goings ons” and in Petersburg Virginia they had an actual water bill issue that we still hear some news stories about – and later they showed some bad management needed to be removed ….
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I believe that. Who’s holding any of the municipalities accountable? It’s obviously a problem.
We do usually pay it in person with cash, but it’s still not okay, ya know?
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yes, I do know…. argh.
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