If we were having coffee, I’d tell you why I never do those If We Were Having Coffee posts. I’d tell you I love reading those of others, but I never write them myself. If YOU were having coffee, by the time I came to call I would have already had my morning coffee at home, reading, writing, and staring at my trees.
I’m not in favor of having company in the morning. Really. If I invite you to coffee, it will be for dessert.
I’m a nocturnal introvert.
If we have the kind of relationship where you’ve spent the night and it’s inevitable I see you when I rise, then yes, by all means, have some coffee. Make it yourself because I am barely able. I wake up with stiff hands and frozen fingers. In the morning, and I mean, my morning, I am pleasant, but incapable of faking nice long enough to pretend to care how you take your coffee. If you like to eat in the morning like some sort of wild animal, please feel free to hunt my kitchen. I am only as hospitable as my deranged hair and sloppy mismatched houseclothes make me seem. So yeah, have some coffee and eat whatever. And then find something to do.
If you’re a morning person, I suggest you leave my house early, catch all your worms and then maybe when you’re done and you’ve returned, I’ll be a version of myself that can deal with morning-people, people-people-y-type people.
When am I ready to receive company? Dinner. If we were having dinner, I’d brew a pot of coffee at midnight so we could chat til dawn. That’s when.
Stream of Consciousness Saturday SoCS ‘if/then’ is brought to you by LindaGHill
joeyfullystated 
I approve this message. It’s almost noon and I’m still not really functional.
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It’s well after noon here, and I am thinking I need to get on with it. Maybe it’s time to progress to iced coffee lol 😛
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Nocturnal introvert by nature here, and I so enjoyed reading this. I am reminded of the time I traveled with an X boyfriend years ago and spent the night with his sister who I was meeting for the first time. The next morning, he got up early and went downstairs. I came down an hour or two later, and I couldn’t talk right. I meant to say some sort of greeting that sounded witty in my head, but the words came out all jumbled. I was embarrassed. But now, he’s ancient history, so who cares?
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Morning extrovert here 😱 I’d like to think that makes us complimentary 🤔 I’m glad to bring coffee and it’s good to see you again 😀
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Heeey Lady! Nice to see you, too!
I don’t know if we’re complimentary before I’ve stretched and showered. I suppose it depends on how chatty and/or sensitive you are. lol 🙂
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I’m a morning person. It’s Saturday, I’ve been up since 6 am and that first cup of coffee (and my only one for the day) is a thing of beauty that I treat almost like a religious experience.
Like you, I prefer my coffee time alone. I don’t want to make small talk. I don’t want to talk. I just bask in the quiet.
Without my morning coffee ritual? It’s going to be a rough one, folks. Fasten your seatbelts.
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Agreed. Is there anything worse than missing out on that time? The day just goes haywire without it, for me. I will get up hours before I need to, just to have it.
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My husband knows to have the newspaper on the kitchen table and get out of the kitchen. Do not ask me how I slept; do not even think of sitting down to have breakfast with me. I will let you know when the kitchen is open for your to get your own darn breakfast. We nocturnal introverts have got to stick together.
ps: Joey–I love your style of writing. Hilarious.
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Haha! Thanks so much 🙂
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I don’t communicate in the morning. I also do not do coffee. I don’t do anything food or drink-wise until close to 11am. I dislike people who are morning people. If they stay in my house, they know to take care of themselves (because only people who really know me actually stay in my house) in the morning..
I will consent to doing a brunch once a year, but that’s usually closer to noon anyways. Cuz… mornings, ya know?
I would rather have people for dinner. The problem with that is that I like my evening-times, so I really hate entertaining after dinner. I like for people to come around 3 and leave before 7. Is that rude? Too bad.
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Hahaha! Because you need time after dinner to unwind from peopling! Yes, I get it.
Morning people don’t stay at my house. We never let them go to bed 😉
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In the five years we’ve lived here, we’ve had 3 guests. First one was my brother and SIL who live about fifteen minutes away and their power went out in the cold weather so they stayed overnight and went home in the morning. Second was my in-laws from California and Rob warned them they’d be on their own (this happened at a really bad time for me mentally, anyway)…and they’ve never come back. LOL
Last time was my brother and SIL from out of state and they stayed here because my parents’ house was full. They got up in the morning and went to my parents’ for coffee and breakfast. 🙂
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Also, yes, unwinding from peopling and necessary for me! LOL
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*is* not and. Duh.
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Yes I am the same way, barely able to mumble a few sentences in the morning. And have to have my coffee to start my day, ( without much conversation). 🙂
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Exactly…no conversation in the mornings. I might manage ‘uh huh” a time or two. Not good at in person people-ing at any time of day. I’m a nite owl, but forced to get up early, like between 4 and 5 a. m. I’ve gotten used to 5 hours at most sleep. He is the opposite…a morning person, talkative, but goes to bed before dark most times. No worries, I know how to make my own coffee where ever I am. 🙂
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Adding a welcome dose of reality to those If we were having coffee posts….
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Mmhm.
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I hate mornings. I’m only a “morning person” on the days I’m forced to get up for work. Otherwise, I’ll be happy to join you for dessert or an evening snack, with or without coffee.
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I would make coffee for both of us. I won’t search for food because I don’t usually eat first thing in the morning, but if I did feel hungry, I would make something non-meat and share. Then we would both sit and read or stare at the trees but not talk. I am a morning person, but only after my coffee.
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See, this is why I write about having a beer, in the afternoon. I AM a morning person, but I would never inflict that upon you. I live with a person very much like you. She’s up early, but not because she wants company and conversation. Great post, Joey. I won’t look for you at Dunkin Donuts.
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I’m one of those early birds, but it’s because I want to be left alone. Just me and sometimes the puppy. I measure my coffee intake by the pot, and it’s usually safe to talk to me after the first one.
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Very direct ans straight forward. I like that. I am up early;even the cats are still asleep. So I don’t have to deal with people. Back when I had people over I always made breakfast. Of course that was usually the end of a night of “entertaining” so I don’t think that counts.
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Oh I love the kind of people who make breakfast after being out all night 🙂
I used to throw Sunday brunch at 1 when I was young, but even then, I had to be up awhile before cooking.
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I’m very much an early morning person, so if we were having coffee it would have to be just after I got up and just before you went to bed! 🙂
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This is, hands-down, my favorite “If we were having coffee” ever.
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Thank you, much appreciated. 🙂
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You perfectly sum up having coffee with someone in the morning.
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Okay, I’m just gonna back away slowly…
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I’m a morning person for my children. They are the only ones that will escape snarky bitchisms.
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I love your honesty. I also understand it, identify with it, and appreciate it.
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Not a morning person either, at all. If any of my coffee share posts ever show up in the morning, it’s because I scheduled then after writing them at 1AM. 😉
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A pity! I live for shared breakfasts and yummy mocha 🙂
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