Dispensing

Posted on July 22, 2016 by joey

In the first few days of my job, I made a mistake on a hard copy and asked Mentor if she wanted me to white it out. She sure did. She handed me a pink contraption I had never seen before. I held the foreign object in my hand and stared at her blankly.

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She laughed. She said, “I’m sorry, but your face.”



She told me how to. It’s like a tape dispenser. I squeezed and pressed per her instructions and I managed. I began to blow on it and she laughed again.
“It’s dry,” she said.
By golly, it was dry! Right away!
Wite-Out you don’t even have to blow on! Such witchcraft! What a great time to be alive!

Not a week passed, and I made another mistake, so I went looking for Wite-Out, and as it turns out, we’ve got piles of these magical contraptions. I opened one, a nice yellow one, you know how I do.

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Well, that was a disaster. I had a mess of white stuff and clear tape stuff all in my hands.
FLAKY STICKY TANGLE PANIC flashback to mangled cassette tapes ACK!
Classic Joey.
I took that one to her and told her I’d keep the pink one since I knew how to work it.

I really can’t afford to make mistakes, because at some point, it’s going to run out.

I’ll do some off-the-clock training on how to open a new Wite-Out dispenser. I’m sure with some gloves, goggles, a helmet, close supervision, and a YouTube tutorial, I can figure it out.



Mentor asked me if there were any office supplies she could order me, and I said I’d like some scissors. “Maybe some antique German shears.” She thought that unlikely, so I didn’t request a sleek copper envelope opener. Probably for the best, since I don’t know what my insurance covers in terms of glass eyes. Truly, I should have asked for the child-safe versions of office supplies.

I don’t mean to brag, but I can work the stapler AND the paper clips like a pro.

Then I needed tape. Tape is also abundant, but I was hesitant after the Wite-Out incident. I imagined those new tapes where as you start to peel it, it splits and tears off into triangular slivers and those get all stuck to your fingers and your nails. Heaven forbid. I simply couldn’t handle two dispenser failures in one day.

I took Mentor a new tape and told her, “In the same spirit as the Wite-Out, I am taking your old tape and giving you this new one. Behold!”
“You want my old tape?”
“Yes, it’s very special. We taped our first envelope together with this one!”

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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63 Responses to Dispensing

  1. orbthefirst says:
    July 22, 2016 at 10:43 AM

    Those been around for a little bit, joey. 😛
    Glad youre enjoying your new job 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      July 22, 2016 at 10:47 AM

      Thanks. Yeah, well, I hadn’t seen them. My personal life is such that crossing through will do. Not that I make a lot of mistakes on grocery lists or in letters… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. eschudel says:
    July 22, 2016 at 10:51 AM

    Glad I don’t have to use wite-out (not that I don’t make mistakes, I just catch them, or my computer catches them, before I print). Knowing my luck with tape dispensers and staplers…well, I would be very afraid….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. thelonelyauthorblog says:
    July 22, 2016 at 10:55 AM

    Enjoy the new job. Happy weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Norm 2.0 says:
    July 22, 2016 at 11:31 AM

    Play safe out there Joey, with all of those strange yet marvelous contraptions, an office can be a dangerous place. You may even want to let one of the grown-ups handle the staple remover for the first little bit, at least until you get the hang of it 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Prajakta says:
    July 22, 2016 at 11:35 AM

    Ha ha!! I had picked this up last year from Walmart. I was so suspicious

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ally Bean says:
    July 22, 2016 at 11:50 AM

    “Such witchcraft!” Indeed. Hilarious story that I find believable– and informative. It’s a brave new office world.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion says:
    July 22, 2016 at 12:11 PM

    I’m looking forward to your continuing progress. You’ll be shredding stuff before you know it.

    Glad the job is working out. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Bradley says:
    July 22, 2016 at 12:15 PM

    Thank you for making me laugh this morning. You’ll be an office supply pro in a short time.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. marianallen says:
    July 22, 2016 at 12:42 PM

    Maybe you can return the favor to Mentor some day. No, wait, you aren’t old enough to know the mysteries of this thing we used to have called carbon paper. That blew my kid’s mind when I showed her how it worked.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. bedlamanddaisies says:
    July 22, 2016 at 1:36 PM

    I have actually used one of those. I have no idea the reason since scratch marks and scribbles typically are ok to repair anything I’ve written. But if I recall, there was an issue with getting it cut off on the end-probably one of those left-handed problems that I don’t even realize are left-handed problems! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sherry says:
    July 22, 2016 at 1:37 PM

    working? how quaint! I’ve been away from it so long it seems something “others” do…not likely to go looking for a job I can tell ya…I rather love my time…but I do recognize the desire to do something useful from time to time…best weekend for ya my dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. vanbytheriver says:
    July 22, 2016 at 2:00 PM

    Ha ha…I had a love/hate relationship with that stuff at my last job. (I wanted to say crap, but I digress). It was common knowledge that if I got my hands on it, it was ruined, and we better have a backup. I use it now at home, but I was so much more comfortable with the wet mess that was “white out” liquid. I feel your pain. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      July 22, 2016 at 6:04 PM

      OH this is not encouraging. Maybe there’s a service where I can outsource the opening of the dispensers. If you had recurrent trouble, I’m doomed.
      It was much easier to use the lil brush, but I can see this stuff saves time.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Spanglish Jill says:
    July 22, 2016 at 2:08 PM

    Felicidades on back to work! As I was reading this it occurred to me that I’d love to have a ‘Joey’ in my office and then it occurred to me ‘I don’t have an office’. Oh well, maybe in my next life.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Lies Jack Kerouac told Me says:
    July 22, 2016 at 2:51 PM

    Curves ahead…learning curves, that is.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. coldhandboyack says:
    July 22, 2016 at 2:53 PM

    But can you still sniff the stuff? I used to work with a lady who loved the whiteout and the magic markers.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. loisajay says:
    July 22, 2016 at 3:29 PM

    Everyone needs a good paper clipper, Joey! Loved this. Oh, that white-out stuff is great isn’t it? Let me show you how good it is to cover all the errors in my checkbook…..

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      July 22, 2016 at 5:59 PM

      HAHAHA! I almost said that earlier, I don’t even wite-out my ledger, I just doodle harder or cross it out! But you know, I am not a business 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  17. larva225 says:
    July 22, 2016 at 3:51 PM

    I miss good old liquid paper. I guess too many of us office workers were smelling it too much.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Anxious Mom says:
    July 22, 2016 at 4:11 PM

    Bwahaha, I’m dying over here, I’m pretty sure we had those when I was in high school. At least with that you don’t have to worry about the huffing temptation that comes with the real stuff. Or so my 8th grade science teacher thought, as she constantly told us students not to huff her white-out.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. joannesisco says:
    July 22, 2016 at 4:19 PM

    Gah! I hate that white-out stuff. Like you, I end up with globs of it everywhere except where it needs to be.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. reocochran says:
    July 22, 2016 at 4:47 PM

    Your calling the person helping you the Mentor makes me smile. I like the way you wrote this, tongue in cheek.
    Honestly, there sounds like a major difference between the pink and the yellow wite-out’s. What the fudgcsicle?
    I would be so confounded and confused, if you put me in a business office. For me, “a fish out of water” post.
    The story unfolding seems like it has a sense of humor plus work environment challenges, “big or small!” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. cordeliasmom2012 says:
    July 22, 2016 at 7:01 PM

    I love those Wite-Out dispensers. It’s so much easier and neater than the old, gloppy liquid. Can’t tell you how many pairs of dark paints I ruined by spilling liquid Wite-Out onto them.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. ken riddles says:
    July 23, 2016 at 6:28 AM

    Here for the first time – enjoying your underlying humour – reckon your personality comes across – refreshing – Have a good one…KR

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Benson says:
    July 23, 2016 at 7:25 AM

    I am so glad you are enjoying your new job. Maybe you need to get some of those blunt grade school scissors. Since they’re blunt can you run with them?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Karen van Benschoten says:
    July 23, 2016 at 11:01 AM

    I’ve had my first experience with the white-out tape. I was quite impressed, though it took me a bit to figure it out. I hate starting a new roll of tape for the very same reasons. I am so clumsy with my hands, due to the MS, I have my nail clippers fastened to a base which also has emery board on it, and it SUCTION CUPS TO THE TABLE OR COUNTER (compliments of occupational therapy)! No more nail clipper chasing every time I try lining it up right and then it flies this way and that.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. undiscoverdimagesamongstus says:
    July 23, 2016 at 5:55 PM

    LOL. Used laugh at the youngsters interning when they encountered a typewriter but you just put a new spin on things.

    Like

  26. Master of Something Yet says:
    July 24, 2016 at 2:21 AM

    Ooh. I have stationery envy. Can’t wait to hear about your scissors. Someone used my good scissors at work to cut stick-on velcro. Now there’s sticky stuff all over the blades. I tried not to cry because that can be embarrassing at work unless it’s about the kids in your class. (No one blinks an eye about that.)

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Judy Martin says:
    July 24, 2016 at 8:03 AM

    I worked in an office some time ago now, and I was always getting told off for breaking staplers and other office equipment! I would have loved that white out stuff, Looks great, and I do love a gadet!
    I don’t think I would get any work done now as there are too many new things to check out and explore in the world of office gadgetry.
    Glad the new job is going well, Joey 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Judy @ NewEnglandGardenAndThread says:
    July 25, 2016 at 8:14 PM

    I’ve been a few years out of the workforce but still use white out at home – it’s the nerd in me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  29. garym6059 says:
    July 28, 2016 at 11:38 AM

    Welcome back to the modern office. The days of sniffing White-Out to kill the time are over LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Britt Skrabanek (@BrittSkrabanek) says:
    July 29, 2016 at 12:25 AM

    It’s witchcraft, but it’s wonderful! I’ve never used this magical dispenser you speak of. Love it!

    I recently was enchanted by this coffee/tea machine at this shared space office I’m working at half the week. My new boss was laughing so hard at me while he was showing how it worked, because I was like: “Wow!” It’s the little things, right? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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