SoCS — Pay Your Way

Posted on August 13, 2016 by joey

I share my life with a man who thinks I am his ATM. You might read that wrong, because it’s not like he’s with me for my money.

When we were first married, I’d keep cash in my wallet how normal people do. Cash is relatively important to childcare. School-aged children regularly need $7 for a field trip or $2 for Save the Seals Lollipop Day or whatever. I was fairly tolerant of my husband robbing me of his money, until the day came that Bubba needed $5 for his field day tee-shirt and my $5 was gone. While I was cursing up a storm and counting change, I realized I needed to address the issue. Is it normal to send your child to school with a baggie full of change? For a while, I watched my words go in his ear and out the other, then I began to hide money.

For a few years I gave him a cash allowance.

More years passed and The Mister stopped robbing my purse. He suddenly developed a strange respect for my privacy. You’re not supposed to get into a woman’s purse you know. The proper etiquette is to bring the bearer her own purse, she’ll get into it and tell you to put it back. “Bring Mama her pocketbook.” I have never gotten into anyone’s purse, but I really don’t care about my own. I ask my family to bring me things from my purse all the time. You want a $25 check? Bring me my wallet. Why should I be the only one who wrestles with nine hundred receipts?

I kept cash and coins in our minivan, making it a portable ATM for The Mister. Since he drives Bonnie Blue now and again, I had to say, “Take all the money you want, but leave me all the quarters. I need them at Aldi.”

Years passed by and now he likes to stand beside my purse almost touching it, doing a sorta swaying thing, wiggling his fingers, asking, “Do you have any cash?”

I seldom have cash these days. The children are old enough to count change from the big jar and no one bats an eye if you want to use a debit card for $1.04.

Sometimes we’ll be out somewhere and I’ll see The Mister’s got cash, and it occurs to me, he actually DOES know where the ATMs are and how to use them.

Of course, in turn, I know where the stepstool is and where the tire gauge is and how to use them…
We all have to pay our own way.

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SoCS ‘cash’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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47 Responses to SoCS — Pay Your Way

  1. pluviolover says:
    August 13, 2016 at 12:34 PM

    Funny, I first read ATM as “at this moment.” I thought, uh-oh. I wonder what he did. I agree with the protocol regarding wife’s purse/privacy, I never even dive in there when invited. I learned long ago that I don’t have time for the exploratory adventure into that dark world, and would not discover the pursued items without assistance from the owner. Keep posting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Benson says:
    August 13, 2016 at 12:34 PM

    Very nice. You are so right about a woman’s purse. Men should always keep their hands out. The same goes for women and men’s wallets. When I go out and use a bank card to pay I always try and have cash for the tip,just because of the posting delay. Of course that bit of info is only marginally connected to your post. Well Happy Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. meANXIETYme says:
    August 13, 2016 at 12:45 PM

    It’s funny, because I have no qualms about Hub going into my purse, but my purse is tiny. It’s barely large enough to carry my credit cards, keys (only fits either my house keys or my car keys, but not both) a lip balm, and has an outside pocket for my cell phone if I need it. Needless to say, he almost never goes into it because his fingers are so big he can’t get anything out. LOL
    We almost never have cash, and if we do, it sits either in his wallet or my purse forEVER. Sometimes I’ll get annoyed and end up saying, “let me just pay with cash so I can make more room in my purse for my keys.”
    Mostly I want to have a little cash in my house for those times when we get a large delivery or such and want to tip the people doing the work. But that’s a pretty rare occurrence.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      August 13, 2016 at 1:19 PM

      I carry BIG BAGS, except on vacation, so I cannot relate to your tiny purse at all! I bet it’s freeing.
      But I need tissues, and hand cream, and sunscreen, and two pair of glasses, and …
      I do keep the pertinent business in the outside pockets.
      I’m totally laughing about the big hands, though, haha!
      I’m almost always the tipper, because it’s important to tip in cash.

      Liked by 1 person

      • meANXIETYme says:
        August 13, 2016 at 9:23 PM

        I usta carry a ginormous purse with all that and a bag of chips in it. I was on vacation with a cousin who said “that’s a waste of energy” and bought me a smaller purse. After that, I kept paring down smaller and smaller until I got to this one. I’ve been carrying this tiny one for about four years now.
        But I don’t have kids, so… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:
          August 13, 2016 at 9:24 PM

          I’ve always been this way. Other than carrying their socks for playlands when they were little, I don’t carry their stuff. It’s just me. My ‘needs’ lol 😛

          Liked by 1 person

  4. vanbytheriver says:
    August 13, 2016 at 12:56 PM

    I prefer to use cash. I only use a debit card by accident (thinking it’s a credit card), but even then, only for big purchases. I buy groceries with cash, so I keep a few $20’s hidden in my purse. Always. ☺ No one “boldly goes” into my purse.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Judy Martin says:
    August 13, 2016 at 1:06 PM

    I leave my purse in my handbag lying around all over the place usually for me to trip over! I don’t like anyone going into my purse at all, if they want money then I will look through for it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dan Antion says:
    August 13, 2016 at 1:16 PM

    For years we said that ATM was “automated teller mommy” – I’d say I was going to the ATM and my wife would hand me some cash. Easy peasy. These days, I go to the ATM myself, and I occasionally. get cash for the Mrs. sometimes, I even remember to give it to her. She doesn’t like the idea that I leave change in my car. If she drives my car, I can count on that change being gone. She still is the master of the checkbook. I probably use about 5 checks for every three I write. I spell stuff wrong, scrawl illegible numbers, etc. Now, at those rare point where I need a check, I just ask her and she writes it out all nice and pretty. I do not go into her pocketbook.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Laura says:
    August 13, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    Ah, very true. There are all sorts of ways to pay your way… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. a darkened house says:
    August 13, 2016 at 2:48 PM

    I so enjoyed this! I smiled the whole way through. I’m the small bills ATM. At work, hubby often needs $5.00 for a co-worker’s birthday, going away, baby shower, the usual co-operative celebrations. And then it’s do you have a $5.00 or and $1.00s? So, finally, I left him a stash of ones and fives. Except I have to dip in at times, which is usually right before Worker X is leaving . . .
    Great SoCS!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. coldhandboyack says:
    August 13, 2016 at 4:58 PM

    Oh heck no! I didn’t even look inside the one I found at the park last night.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Chez Shea says:
    August 13, 2016 at 5:03 PM

    My man thinks I am his ATM too. In our division of labour, I kind of wish I didn’t get banker role. Never was good at number crunching!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Norm 2.0 says:
    August 13, 2016 at 5:14 PM

    Honey’s ‘purse’ is a fricken portable storage locker so even if she tells me to go into it for something, I know I won’t find what I’m looking for so I just bring it to her anyway. Plus it weighs a ton – I’m sure she was a Sherpa in a previous life.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ghostmmnc says:
    August 13, 2016 at 5:50 PM

    Oh, yes…always need a big purse. I have stuff for pretty much any emergency in there. But, usually little or no cash. If I happen to have a few dollars, it won’t be long before it gets confiscated. I do have an extra coin purse for change (I rob the change dish he has) for my yard sale money. Nobody messes with my yard sale money! haha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Fourth Generation Farmgirl says:
    August 13, 2016 at 6:39 PM

    Fair is fair. I agree with you…I don’t want anyone else going through my purse either.
    Have a good weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sherry says:
    August 14, 2016 at 12:22 PM

    just thanks for well, being you…:)

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Judy @ NewEnglandGardenAndThread says:
    August 14, 2016 at 2:55 PM

    This is funny. In our house, my husband is the ATM. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. joannesisco says:
    August 16, 2016 at 8:09 AM

    Most interesting. We’ve always had separate bank accounts, separate credit cards, even separate savings. In any given year I could probably count on one hand the number of times one of us needed to borrow cash from the other.
    … and neither one of us would think to touch the other’s wallet, although he does make the occasional comment on how heavy my purse is. It’s certainly not from all the cash I’m carrying :/

    Liked by 1 person

  17. bedlamanddaisies says:
    August 16, 2016 at 9:22 AM

    I used to carry almost no cash, but then the kids started having needs for this thing at school or that outing with a friend. All of which were things where I couldn’t just write a check. Now I try to keep small bills….because good luck getting change from that $20 from a teenager. Luckily, the oldest starts his first job today! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. 2bcreativeblog says:
    August 16, 2016 at 9:41 PM

    Funny! My hubby is good about not getting in my purse. He will bring it to me even if I tell him it is alright. I know the pain of running out of that cash when they kids need it. Darn it.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Anxious Mom says:
    August 17, 2016 at 12:24 PM

    I LOLd at the ‘leave the quarters for Aldi’ part, since I’m always fussing at Sam for taking my Aldi quarters. I’m not trying to person who scavenges an empty, falling apart box to haul my groceries around in.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. garym6059 says:
    August 18, 2016 at 11:43 AM

    Sounds like you have gotten him trained well after all these years, and no shit on the Save the Seal lollipop day etc…..When my daughter was in private school the good Catholics INVENTED ways to get into your wallet under the ruse of “Fun activity for the kids.” Bring a dollar to wear silly socks seemed to happen once a week!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. reocochran says:
    February 7, 2017 at 9:50 PM

    I really like this post and it’s underlying values of trust, sharing and love. ❤

    Like

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