SoCS — Slug Love

Posted on October 1, 2016 by joey

I keep the slugs off the hydrangeas, but otherwise, I let them roam and munch. Plenty of green for them to fill their bellies.
Now and again I find a slug in the house, usually because the animals all gather round to gawk.
Sadie, “Is it food?” *sniff-sniff* “Is it?”
Cletus, “It’s a toy,” *sniff-sniff* “Isn’t it?”
Catticus, “I’m scared, Clara. What if it eats kibble? Kill it, Clara, please.”
Clara, “It’s too slow to be dangerous. Let’s see if the dog eats it.”

Anyway, I’m slug-friendly.

This time of year, the slugs are…amorous.

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First I wondered if the one slug was in hot pursuit of the other slug, and then I thought maybe the slug at the top was in hot pursuit of the cord above it. You know, like maybe Top Slug actually thought the cord was a super foxy long and skinny slug and it wanted to get some of that.

This is what it’s like in my brain. I am the kind of person who questions the sexual motives of slugs. If that’s not awkward, I don’t know what is.

If you don’t know anything about the mating habits of slugs, I encourage you to Google that, because it is unlikely you would enjoy reading my explanation about gooey blue penises protruding, spinnin round like a twisty cone, and fallin off, which I think is a benefit to you reading me instead of listening to me, because I am so totally the kind of person who would talka you about gooey blue slug penises.

 

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SoCS ‘awkward’ is brought to you by, well, today, me. And always LindaGHill

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About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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49 Responses to SoCS — Slug Love

  1. pluviolover says:
    October 1, 2016 at 1:05 PM

    I think I live in a slug world resort. We have many of the big, yellowish, “banana” slugs. Now that leaves are a-fallin’ and covering ground, it is harder to spot Mr. Sluggo since he is now camouflaged same color as the leaves. Oh, shit. Did you hear that squish sound?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. coldhandboyack says:
    October 1, 2016 at 1:09 PM

    Wow, that was awkward. You nailed the challenge.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dan Antion says:
    October 1, 2016 at 1:20 PM

    Nicely done. Of course, you had a head-start but I’m sure you didn’t do any editing in your head. Gooey blue slug penises? Yeah, I’ll google that…later…maybe. You did nail the thoughts of the critters though 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. jacquelineobyikocha says:
    October 1, 2016 at 1:24 PM

    Well, that was an unexpected awkward perspective.
    I would like to invite you to my monthly blog party taking place this weekend. Hope you can find time to step in. Have a great weekend.
    Jacqueline

    Liked by 2 people

  5. bikerchick57 says:
    October 1, 2016 at 1:33 PM

    I think I’ll leave the Googling about blue slug penises to someone else. Actually, I’ll leave all slugs to someone else. They are on my list of “no thanks,” along with June bugs, millipedes and centipedes. Ewww.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. jan says:
    October 1, 2016 at 2:14 PM

    I must admit – the thought of slugs mating makes me feel a bit slimed 🙈

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Josh Wrenn says:
    October 1, 2016 at 2:27 PM

    Back in Bothell, WA where I lived many moons ago, there were slugs everywhere. It was a running joke that the hs football mascot should be renamed to the slugs.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. reocochran says:
    October 1, 2016 at 3:17 PM

    To me, this is normal conversation about sexual behavior of slugs, Joey. We are in the state of pre-adolescence sexual curiosity with Jamie and Trista’s oldest Lara as 12 years old, Carrie’s oldest, Skyler, is 11 + 1/2. The younger siblings love bugs and talk about bug family expansion. Lol 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Ellen Hawley says:
    October 1, 2016 at 4:25 PM

    I know I’m picking up on the least interesting part of this post, but where I live hydrangeas seem to be the one thing they don’t eat.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Benson says:
    October 1, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Yuck! I do not like slugs. I don’t even like to say the word slug. You are indeed a special sort of woman to Google the mating habits of slugs. Yuck!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. floridaborne says:
    October 1, 2016 at 8:41 PM

    Lively and entertaining. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. JoAnna says:
    October 1, 2016 at 8:45 PM

    I agree with Robin. Questioning slug mating motives seems like a normal thing to be going on in a curious mind. If we could read each other’s minds, this would not seem all that unusual, we just don’t go around telling about these thoughts very often except on SOCS. I thoroughly enjoyed the cats conversation about the slugs.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Erika says:
    October 2, 2016 at 12:10 AM

    “The leopard slug’s penis can expand to the length of its entire body.”

    I’m dying. I read that to Sam, and his response was “G**damn.” 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: This is Awkward | No Facilities

  15. Ally Bean says:
    October 2, 2016 at 9:21 AM

    Slug sex. Not where I though this post would go, but I applaud your ability to think outside the… hydrangea. Uh huh.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Karen Van Benschoten says:
    October 2, 2016 at 10:49 AM

    Love the way your mind works!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Veronica says:
    October 2, 2016 at 3:09 PM

    Say what?! 😱 Learned something new! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  18. azpascoe says:
    October 2, 2016 at 9:46 PM

    This is great 😀 One, slugs are super cool (like snails, right? Who doesn’t like snails? And slugs are just snails who don’t have shells, really) and two, this was interesting. And amusing: which kind of ticks all the boxes for blog posts :p

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Prajakta says:
    October 3, 2016 at 1:38 AM

    That image!! You definitely made it awkward for the slug in its love quest/fest! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Robert Matthew Goldstein says:
    October 3, 2016 at 4:13 AM

    I came, I saw, I made it awkward! LOL…what a great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Robert Matthew Goldstein says:
    October 3, 2016 at 4:14 AM

    Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:
    An awkward post from Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Petal and Mortar says:
    October 3, 2016 at 5:14 AM

    I hate slugs. Loathe them (and now their blue penises). Dry heaving. Gotta go.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Joanne Sisco says:
    October 3, 2016 at 3:58 PM

    I’m not fond of slugs … now even less so. I’m sure everytime I see a slug now I’m going to be thinking ‘gooey blue penis’ {shudder}

    Liked by 2 people

  24. dalecooper57 says:
    October 5, 2016 at 1:14 PM

    Horrible, horrible little bastards, I hate them.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.