How the Hell Did that Happen?

Y’all, it is time I make a confession.
I hope you’re sittin down.

I’ve told you, I’m not a horror fan.
I’ve told you, I’m a sissypants about gore.
I’ve told you, I like it here under my rock.
I JUST had a lil chat with Marian about the nice dry zombies of her youth.
Which is why…I cannot explain…How I have become a fan of The Walking Dead.

I didn’t turn it on. I came out one Saturday with my coffee and my lappy and Sassy was watchin it. “Zombies, Sass? Really?”
“Mama, it’s so good.”
“Mmhm.”

I typed and read and typed and read and LOL Cats and next thing you know, I was riveted. “What happened?”
“Why’s he doin that?”
“OH GROSS!”
“Why he’s got a fever?”
“OMG KILL IT! KILL IT!”

A few episodes in, and I was hooked.
I ran in and shouted at The Mister, “This show is AWFUL! You’ll love it!”
He said, “Mmm,” in his Unimpressed-Mamaw tone.
Then I hurried back so as not to miss anything.

Hours later, The Mister came into the living room and sat down with his coffee and his laptop and I was all, “OMG THIS SHOW IS HORRIFYING! SCARIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!”
He got sucked in, too.
Next thing we knew, it was 3am and nobody wanted to take the damned dog out because dark and scary.
Then the boy one came over last weekend, and I said to him, “We’re going to watch our show now. I’m sorry, but you’ll get sucked in, too.”
He shrugged his Millennials-Are-Never-Impressed-Shrug.
And the next thing we knew, it was 2am and he said, “Oh man, I’m gonna regret this, but yeah, let’s watch another episode.”

The suspense is wretched. I mean, remember when you were a kid and the scary stuff was mostly suspense? They do that really well.
But with gore. Oh the gore. So much eww.
So I look at my drapes a lot, and hide my face in the blanket, and sometimes, from within the blanket, I yell at the people, “I told you not to go in there! I can tell by the squishing that you’re good as dead now!”

This is when I realized, I had, in fact, become my mother.

I had suspected the metamorphosis was in its beginning stages already. There had been many signs. Most importantly, that day I wrapped my afghan about me and took my dog out into the yard, I passed a mirror and I thought, omg the transformation is nearly complete.

maman12
Sorry, Maman.

But during The Walking Dead, I scream at the people in the tv as though they can hear me. I know they can’t hear me, but there I am, just like my mother, “Girl, don’t you go in there!” and “Jesus Fucking Christ, Lori! Pick up a gun! Don’t nobody need clean laundry right now!”

Do you watch The Walking Dead? Do you scream at the television? Are you turning into your parents?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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74 Responses to How the Hell Did that Happen?

  1. Bahaha!!😂 All of thee above! Great piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Joanne Sisco says:

    I was told that Walking Dead was addictive, but I tried it and ‘meh’. We watched an entire season and just couldn’t get excited about it.
    So I guess my answers to your questions are no, no, and no.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dan Antion says:

    I do not watch the Walking Dead, and now, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to start. I don’t yell at the TV, but oh my goodness, my mom does – always has. She could wake the dead with her screams. On the other hand, I have gotten sucked into shows I thought I’d never like. It happens. I think the dog really has to pee.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Benson says:

    Let us have a moment of silence for your loss. You have lost the ability to say we are not like our parents. However on the plus side you have gained another genre. I refuse to watch any of this show for the simple fact I do not want to become hooked. I mean how can I enjoy a story line that has been going on so long?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I don’t know. Like books, I generally hesitate to start a series until it’s complete. I like to binge-watch 🙂

      Thank you for your understanding during this transitional time 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is such a beautiful photo of her! ❤ I tend to keep away from in-sucking things because I say "I do" then. (Not in that sense.) Also, I live in a rather remote area and the last thing I need is to start feeling the aloneness and spookyness. As for my mother: if I ever turn into that (said with all the love), the entire world will need rescue. 😀 My mom is such a powerhouse! I wonder why then I only notice the unwelcome traits that show up in the mental mirror… (Physical would be all right, but I'm more like my broad dad in that regard. :p)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. ghostmmnc says:

    First of all, I love the photo of your mom and her poncho! That could be me back in the day! 🙂 … one of my daughters told me I ‘had’ to watch TWD after she saw the 1st season. I tried it, didn’t grab me at all, so never watched any but the couple I did see. I do like some creepy shows, like anything to do with aliens/ghosts/ufo/conspiracy types. Gore, not so much. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. orbthefirst says:

    Got my ma hooked on GoT last year. And she hates the sex, and the graphic swearing & all that. Too bad we dont have HBO. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      GoT is awesome, but even it’s too gory sometimes. Who’s that fucker with the dogs? The one Sansa had to marry? Goriest storyline. But yeah, awesome show!

      Liked by 1 person

      • orbthefirst says:

        IDK, Im about 2 seasons behind, myself. Ill get back to it when I can. Were in TV negotiations now about which services we want. Its been an uphill battle since we cut the cord.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. The 1st year…no, hated it, was sure I wouldn’t watch, but hubby did. By the 2nd year, I was hooked. The difference…I began to understand that the “walking dead” referred to the humans left behind, and not the zombies. I am horrified and mesmerized all at once.☺

    Your mother is beautiful. And I’ve learned to embrace the qualities I share with both parents. Sadly, I got to tell my Dad before he died at 74, but my mom passed at 53, and I was still so full of anger…it never happened. For that, I wish I had her back, for only an hour, to apologize for how I judged her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      She really is beautiful ❤ Thanks. She'll probably be mortified I shared that pic, but I agree.
      I'm sorry your mother left so young. I wish you didn't have to carry the regret. I truly believe they know, that your mother knows now. ❤

      See, I didn't watch the beginning, either, so I don't know if I would have liked it then. I got sucked in around the "Lost Sophia" section, and I'm not sure how many episodes were before it.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Norm 2.0 says:

    Love that old pic 🙂
    I’m not sure why but fantasy/sci-fi/horror stuff just doesn’t do it for me. TWD, GoT, True Blood m’eh. I loved shows like Breaking Bad and Six Feet Under though.
    The only time I shout at the TV is when the news is on and I hear politicians say things that are flat out not true. Which is to say that when the news is on, I shout a lot 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  10. honestme363 says:

    I haven’t been, but it does sound tempting. Who doesn’t like swearing and yelling at the TV? Plus, I am more of a binge watcher. Thanks for the suggestion 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m with you on the not a horror fan part, but I’m also not a “Walking Dead” fan. My husband started watching, which meant I saw some, but I’m just not into it and I get too frustrated by the things you mention that make you yell at people doing dumb things. 🙂 He gave it up because the tension was too much, this from a “Buffy” fan, although that had plenty of humor to leaven the suspense. I really don’t get the zombie craze, though. Have you ever seen “The Lost Boys”, a movie I often wonder if Keifer Sutherland would like to have vanish or if he enjoys it? You might enjoy it.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I have seen The Lost Boys. It is okay, my husband LOVES it. I enjoy the last bit, the funny part, with Grandpa in the kitchen. 🙂

      Like

  12. Ally Bean says:

    Q1: No.
    Q2: Yes. Who doesn’t?
    Q3: Not really, but give me time.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. eschudel says:

    I almost stopped after episode one this season, an episode I still haven’t watched and probably never will. However, being the TWD junkie that I am, I will keep watching this season. I just can’t help it!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Josh Wrenn says:

    I can’t suspend my disbelief for zombies. I do scream at the television during the football. I am NOT turning into my parents.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. We talked about this before somewhere. It’s a great show, and it breaks ground with some of what it’s done. The tension and suspense are well used. Gore and shock aren’t my thing either, but it makes some sense to the storyline so I go with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. lorriedeck says:

    I don’t watch it. I tried but…the noises of the show drive me crazy. All that squishing and grunting and breathing. Yuck.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Jewels says:

    I’m a huge Walking Dead fan! I hate gore and don’t understand the current culture’s fascination with all things zombies, but I love my little band of survivors on TWD. LOVE…

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Ha! I loved reading this Joey!
    No, I don’t watch the Walking Dead but I do shout at the telly, and am definitely turning into my mum!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. jan says:

    I’m not a horror fan either but we call turn into our parents in some way or another.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Jill says:

    Wait…your mom is French? Amirite? So cool. I yell at the TV all the time…well, when I watch TV that is. I’m not into horror AT ALL, but since miss Joey like it, I shall click the remote willingly. Are my kids too young to watch it? 7 and 9?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      My mother is NOT French. It’s our thing.
      I’m not big on censorship, but it’s probably not safe for the boys. It’s hellagraphic with gore and includes a lot of adult situations.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. We got hooked on the walking dead about 4 years ago, while wrapping Christmas presents. It was on tv, a rerun from its first season, and like you we were hooked, staying up until 3 am watching it. My husband doesn’t like horror at all but is just as addicted as I am.

    Welcome to the masses who love it!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. DanicaPiche says:

    I love that show! Absolutely and unreservedly. I’m sad my favorite character is no longer….

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Anxious Mom says:

    I do watch TWD. This season is losing me fast, though. I don’t yell at the TV. I doubt I’m close to becoming my parents yet lol

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Welcome to the scaries! I actually watched the first season of TWD, and the first season of FTWD, but for some reason haven’t got back into it since. Guess I figure, how many different ways can you kill a zombie? I do like my horror movies, though – Alien, Predator, Young Frankenstein…

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Bradley says:

    I’m not much into television and watch very little, buuuuuuuuuut I love, love, love The Walking Dead. I tell friends, “It’s not about the zombies!!” When they watch, they tell me they agree and every one of them has become a fan. It’s so gory hat it’s hard to believe it’s on basic cable. You’d presume it’s on a premium network. Glad you’re a fan. It means you’re good people

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Susanne says:

    I LOVE THE WALKING DEAD! It is so awfully horrifying. I’m like you, I’m hiding under the afghan my gramma made me trying not to peek thru the holes. Sometimes I plug my ears, too. But I keep coming back because I care about those damn characters. I want them to survive! I got hooked last year by the vacuum of t.v. time left at the end of Downton Abbey. How I went from Lady Mary’s snark to Rick’s decapitating 3 million zombies is a deep mystery to me but there you go. It’s the only t.v. show I watch. Oh and Last Tango in Halifax. It’s like a soap. I have no reasonable explanation for my newfound fascination with the macabre and grisly.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. reocochran says:

    Sitting up and scared shitless to go to sleep and find our we have a President Trump! Past midnight almost one am!!
    Anyway, my teacher friend’s love “The Walking Dead!!” Smart people!
    I got persuaded to watch American Horror Story and like Kathy Bates, enjoyed Lady Gaga and am dating/liking a man who has me turned on to “Game of Thrones.” Lots of “junk” for the brain, gore, sex, dragons, queens, knights. . . I like a young woman who is named Aria, who is a knight in training and then they killed Jon Snow! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  28. marianallen says:

    We watch shows together and both say the same thing to the tv at the same time. DIY stereo.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. That is a very lovely photo of your mother. I haven’t watched the series yet, because I’m such a scaredy cat. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  30. dalecooper57 says:

    I got bored of TWD, but Z Nation, that’s a different matter. Hilarious and brilliant.

    Also: Guillermo del Toro’s The Strain is excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. larva225 says:

    I tried to get into it when it premiered and just couldn’t. I don’t even understand why. Maybe I’ll try it again. I didn’t like Deadwood when it premiered, either (just a bunch of cussing cowboys), but thought it was ok later on.
    And yeah. I’m my dad. Only without the man bits.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. I was hooked on The Walking Dead, since I started with Season 1, Episode 1, on Netflix. That is all I watched, no regular TV, throughout all the seasons and all the episodes. I yelled at the stupid ones (people) as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  33. JoAnna says:

    I was getting into it til I gave up most of my cable. I never liked gore either, but it was good. Yelling at the characters is half the fun. Enjoyed watching you watching it just now.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Saw a marathon of the second season, just before the third, got hooked. but then during season five i didn’t have access to the show on cable…but, yeah, i really don’t like zombie movies, but i thought on top of the suspense it was a great exploration of the way people really would react and evolve over the years of living in the “new normal.”

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I have never watched the Walking Dead because I figured it would keep me awake more than I’m normally awake. I’m glad you like it though. 🙂 My Mom liked a lot of sports, and that’s not my bag. I watch dramas like Blue Bloods, Conviction, Longmire – you get the drift and your eyes are probably glazing over. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      My mother, my husband, and Moo, all love a good who done it. Whodunit? Somethin like that. I haven’t even heard of Conviction or Longmire, but I’ll let the others know.

      Liked by 1 person

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