Y’all! I have so much to tell you!
First, I would like to say I am sober, but drunk on happiness.
I will begin at the beginning.
When I got to work Friday, I was told to best decide how to spend the hour I would work, because our office would be closing early. An hour. Psh. I made two phone calls and completed one project and asked Mentor which project to do next and she said it was time to go home.
ALRIGHT!
I don’t know what the hell we did Friday. *asks* Oh, yes, we had Chinese food!
Saturday I called my mother. We had a delightful chat, and then I mentioned to her, “Our package has not yet arrived,” to which she said, “Yes it has,” and I asked the room, “Did we get Grandma’s package?” Lots of head shaking and shrugging.
Turns out, my package for my parents arrived early (!!!) and the package my mother mailed to us on the 15th was nowhere in sight. (!!!)
I was disappointed. My mother was concerned. She was all, “There’s a lot of money in that box,” and I was all, “Were my fruitlings in there?”
Y’all, I’m sure the kids would be a skosh somber not getting their yearly-far-away-grandparent income, but me not getting my mother’s fruitlings would be DEVASTATING.
The tracking reported my fruitlings our package as held up at the post office because my address was invalid. You can imagine my surprise, having received mail at my invalid address all week. I said I’d go to the post office Tuesday.
But then, Sadie barked at the mail carrier, so I made inquiry with him.
He gave me the number to call the post office and I called and the lady said although they weren’t open, I could come pick up my package. I told her I’d be right there. Cept, y’all, I was a. hot. mess. I wasn’t really even presentable enough to talk to the mail carrier, and yet, I put on my boots and went to the post office.
Turns out, my mother actually DID write the wrong address on it, because loopy handwriting. I suffer similarly, because Tuesday, the clerk at the post office asked me if my 9s were 5s and I suppose my mother and I should try harder to write slowly and carefully, lest we are too loopy. *giggles*
I baked and music-ed all day and night Saturday. I baked all the fings. All, all, all the fings.
5 loaves of challah — My yeast wasn’t expired, but it wasn’t good, either. Made little islands in the water — and no bubbles! Tsk. The Mister had to go out and get yeast.
3 dozen snickerdoodles (The Mister’s fave) — My cream of tartar canister was stuck closed, so as Bubba wrangled off the lid, I laughed and told him it’s a bonding agent so he could laugh too.
3 dozen double chocolate cookies (A la Norm) — Those cookies are so sweet, I took a bite and announced I couldn’t eat more of it, but the kids love them and have announced, “They’re gonna get gone first.”
5 dozen anise cookies (via Barbara Scott Leonard, y’all remember her? Silver in the Barn?) They’re fabulous, but Papa and I are the only people who eat them, so I’m shipping some to a writer who also loves all things licorice, and taking some to The Green-Eyed Shopgirl. I make up names for people when I don’t know their names. You do that, too, right?
Rum and rum. Cause eggnog and more rum.
Sassy baked the chocolate cake which I will cover with chocolate ganache tonight.
Dipped pretzels and stuff in chocolate and white chocolate, too.
Rolling out sugar cookies tonight, too.
Yesterday, we did the ham, mac n’ cheese, (with cheese Sassy shredded) peas, carrots, and challah (Moo helped knead) and today I made pancakes, bacon, and sausage for brunch.
Then I had a lovely little nap. Mmm, nap.
Sassy and Moo peeled potatoes and Bubba shredded them, which is when I realized we didn’t have enough eggs for the latkes. I told The Mister about the lack of eggs, and he said he was sure it would be fine, in the most condescending of ways.
I am a good cook and I am resourceful. I would say I’m a kitchen witch, but I have no spells for egg multiplication. Apparently, he was expecting one egg to do five eggs’ worth of binding like a Mottern Family Miracle, but I had no such hope. I sent Moo out to ask our neighbors, but they weren’t home. In the meantime, The Mister judged me and made faces at me and I could not even with his helpless, patronizing attitude!
The smoke alarm went off, proving my oil was, in fact, hot enough, which is when The Mister came into the kitchen. “That’s plenty enough eggs, Baby, it’s fine,” [let me try to hug you since you would just as soon punch me in the face] and then, only then, did he realize I was not talking about not having enough deviled eggs. (Did I mention I made deviled eggs?)
So then he went out in search of eggs like the hero he is supposed to be. For fuck’s sake Man, IT WAS AN OFFICIAL EGG CRISIS!
And then we laughed and laughed.
Latkes. *sigh* I don’t care how many you make, you’ll wish you made more. *sigh*
So yes, It’s all about the food. And drinks. And the love and the snuggles. And the sleep. And the music and the movies.
Oh yeah, we had presents, too.
I don’t know what we’re doin tomorrow, but I know it’ll be happy, and I hope all of you have had a happy weekend, too.
Heart heart You heart.
joeyfullystated 
All sounds good to me. I ate too much, but we’re supposed to, right?
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I think so. I would’ve liked to have eaten more, but there’s just no more room in there and I despise indigestion!
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What a fun and lovely post. I’m glad your mom got her package on time. And good for you for retrieving your important package in all your hot messness. Important things are more important than hot messness.
All your food sounds nummy. We had food that I could have skipped at my in laws…but I came home and ate double dark chocolate chip Gelato so all is well in mah tummy!
Happy merry and good eats and drinks and snuggles to you!
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Thanks!
I was soooo surprised my package got there early. 🙂
I’m glad you got some gelato!
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What a wonderful post. If Happy was an energy source I am sure your Home could power all of Lawrence. Happy eating.
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Nice thought! 😀
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Ha! Nice variety of baked items and food.
And we baked five different things – and ran out of baking powder – I made biscotti for the first time in many years – it used to something I made all the time and it needs the baking powder…
– grateful to find that a substitution for baking powder was baking soda and an acid – like citric acid or fresh lemon juice – so I used that instead and it actually enhanced the biscotti taste – so that was a plus.
And pretty awesome that your package arrived early – we have heard a few others have positive comments about delivery this year – which is pretty cool. And smiling with the loops and handwriting – in the 80s my mom could not understand why this place failed to change her address after she submitted it twice – the manager came out and said we could not read the writing – they never called her to ask about it – but she started using all caps for some things after that…,
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I haven’t made biscotti in years, either. I should get back on, but we don’t seem to have as many long coffee mornings as we used to…
Glad you found a substitute for baking powder 🙂
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🙂
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Sounds blissful! Enjoy! 🙂 🎄
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I so agree, it IS always about the food. Every holiday, I threaten to skip on the baking, cooking and go off to a beach somewhere to celebrate. It never happens….yet. The past few years, I have driven 40-50 miles to get the desired Honey Baked Ham…a family tradition for decades. (The one in my city closed years ago.) If we didn’t have it, as well as all the side dishes that are labor-intensive, it just wouldn’t be the same. We bond over the food. We get full, we get sleepy, we drink too much nog, watch movies and football. But it’s all good. And that’s the true blessing of Christmas for us. The beach will just have to wait. ❤️ 💛 💚
p.s. I had to go out for fresh yeast, too. And…does cream of tartar ever go bad ????
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I honestly don’t know if cream of tartar goes bad or not, but if mine is years old and still makes good snickerdoodles and my meringue are still thick, how bad can it be?
I’m glad y’all get Honeybaked Ham. I haven’t had one in a long, long time. Maybe if we had a larger family — maybe when the kids have kids. They are scrumptious!
I am glad y’all got full of happiness over there, too 😀
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Sounds wonderful, Joey, all that gorgeous food 🙂
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I would have traded you eggs for samples. That all sounds sooo good. I’m snacking on white chocolate bark with cranberries and pistachios in it. Everything is right with the world.
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OH that sounds yummy! I’da traded you samples for eggs 🙂
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Yum yum yum. We had the best feast ever, with coincidentally latkes and deviled eggs, too :). And turkey so moist we cut it with our forks, all the trimmings, gluten free cherry pie, etc. All made by my kids while I did nothing! Woot!
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Wow, Luanne, you win the holiday food happiness trifecta! Got what you wanted without planning, shopping, OR cooking? Dang that’s nice! 😀
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And zero dishes! They did them all!
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Double dang! 😀
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I am pretty smug right now.
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I can’t say I blame you 🙂
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Heart, heart, you, heart, too.
So. Much. Food.
Let the detox begin.
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Heart heart heart you back, Joey! I loved this post!! And sober, too. Dang.
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😀
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Sounds wonderful. Food coma here today.
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Mmm, food coma 🙂
The Mister met a guy from his old unit for lunch today, so we got to tag along for pub food!
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We’ve been pretty lazy today. Maybe I’ll venture out tomorrow for a bit.
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Your happiness positively vibrated on the screen! And all those glorious cookies – you are a kitchen god! Heart heart you heart, too.
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❤
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Thanks for the shout-out. Glad the kids liked them, but yes they are mini sugar-bombs aren’t they?
It all looks delicious. Latkes…mmm I’m overdue to make some myself. Maybe next weekend; I’m gonna need a few days to recover first 😀
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I’m gonna make latkes again next weekend! And Hoppin John and cabbage, course 😉 Oh yes, your cookie recipe is well worth the shout out, and they really are THE CHOSEN COOKIE here this weekend. Sinfully rich with sweetness!
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I have put on fifty pounds just reading your post. And laughed so hard I laid an egg.
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HAHAHA! If you’re gonna be layin eggs on the regular, I want in on that!
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Those latkes looks delish. I can by-pass the sweets but latkes, no way. Sounds like you deserve a rest!
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I prefer the savories myself 🙂
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Miam Miam! You bake like a pastry chef, Joey! I’d gladly help you with the leftovers. I’m a sweet tooth girl and LOVE baking from scratch.
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😀
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Hahaha the eggs 😀
I’m glad y’all had a great Christmas! I swear, I must do more baking and dipping and all that in the last 30 days of the year than I do in the first 335.
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I think that may be true for me too, although in September, apple harvest, tons of pie…
That egg thing was SO funny! I could not understand why he was so cavalier about my lack of eggs! lol What an asshole! lol
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The eggs crisis took awhile to get averted, but finally the Mister took you, Joey, Head Cook and Empress of your kitchen, seriously! 😀
Men do try to kiss and hug their way our of trouble which now that I am older, this really does work magic in me!
Hope you have lots more cozy, comfy and relaxing cuddles with the fam. ❤
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That egg misunderstanding was wicked funny! 😛
Thanks, and to you as well 🙂
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Every year I buy a nice bottle of eggnog intending to spice it up with some rum. Every year I end up dumping the entire bottle out because I’m afraid it’ll go straight to my ass. Every year. Makes me sad.
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