Let’s Talk

Posted on April 14, 2017 by joey

Okay, I’ll write, you read. But we’ll both smile, and that’s what Fridays are all about.

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A-Z Challenge — L

Do y’all do Talk To Text?

I do not. Siri cannot negotiate my accent.

Siri cannot negotiate The Mister’s accent, either, but he’s in denial. I dunno why. His accent is thicker n mine.
That’s the kinda thing Siri can’t negotiate.

Siri be all, “I don’t know what you mean, Jolene,”
I repeat, “Fifty-six-hundred Haverferd.”
“Sorry, I didn’t quite get that.”
“You useless bitch.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Five Six Zero Zero Hay-ver-ford.”
“Here’s what I found.”
“Pretentious cow.”
*POKES MAP HARD* like it will hurt Siri

Ain’t nobody over here usin the language of power like, “I journeyed to the desert upon my anonymous horse.”
UH. NOWA.
That’s for work.

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It was so.
And if my mother asks any of you, I wore metallic loafers. Cause I just couldn’t suede.

 

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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52 Responses to Let’s Talk

  1. Carrie Rubin says:
    April 14, 2017 at 12:38 PM

    I haven’t tried voice to text, but I’m definitely tempted to now! Happy Friday and Happy Easter weekend to you, Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan Antion says:
    April 14, 2017 at 12:42 PM

    I tried to implement “Hey Siri” but the Mrs died wasn’t Siri listening to stuff around here. It’s a long story but there’s no love for Siri on that side.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      April 14, 2017 at 12:59 PM

      I see your phone is also stupid. 🙂
      As far as I can tell, I am the font of information within the house — I bet Siri sucks at parenting and doesn’t remember anything about the 80s.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ghostmmnc says:
    April 14, 2017 at 12:48 PM

    I haven’t done this. I do like the mention of one of my favorite songs, though! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dan Antion says:
    April 14, 2017 at 1:02 PM

    Seriously stupid. The Mrs “doesn’t want” Siri… The Mrs didn’t die. I think Siri is out to get her.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. orbthefirst says:
    April 14, 2017 at 1:37 PM

    Ive watched 2 GROWN ADULTS do the talk to text thing via cam & not, and its easily one of the funniest things Ive ever watched.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. marymichaelschmidt says:
    April 14, 2017 at 2:01 PM

    I have been this same path.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. John Holton says:
    April 14, 2017 at 2:02 PM

    I used MacSpeech for a while after the stroke because I thought it would be easier than typing with one hand. After a month of telling it to do things and having it not do them, I was afraid I was going to give myself another stroke and got rid of it. I won’t even screw with Siri, which I have on my phone and my Mac; it’s been permanently disabled on both, along with dictation on the desktop, because it chews up CPU cycles and memory while it waits for you to talk to it. And don’t start me on Cortana, which entered into my decision to install Linux on my laptop and dissociate myself from Microsoft permanently. The hell with speech to text. By the time they stop putting keyboards on computers, I’ll be pushing up the daisies.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:
      April 14, 2017 at 6:02 PM

      It. is. really. funny. to. listen. to. my. husband. talk. like. a. robot. so Siri can understand him. Sometimes.
      Cortana can kiss my lily white ass. Nosy cow.

      Liked by 1 person

      • John Holton says:
        April 15, 2017 at 12:58 AM

        None of them are worth the aggravation. Plus, both Siri and Cortana send everything you tell them back to Apple or Microsoft, and Cortana goes so far as to tell MS what you have installed. Had I gotten as far as getting Windows 10 installed, my first request would have been “Cortana, turn yourself off and uninstall yourself.”

        Liked by 1 person

      • John Holton says:
        April 15, 2017 at 4:00 PM

        We can add Alexa to the list, by the way. I got up this morning and discovered that it had been installed and activated on my Kindle Fire. I was able to deactivate it, but can’t seem to delete it, so I added it to the group “Crap I Never Use and Can’t Get Rid Of,” except I didn’t use the word “crap.”

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt says:
    April 14, 2017 at 2:25 PM

    When we watch Shetland, a show about mysteries set in the Shetland Islands (north of Scotland), we put the captions on. And Irish shows. And some English ones. And Rectify (which is set in Georgia, USA). My brain gets the hang of it after a while, and we switch them off – and then something will come along that we never would have said, never that way, and we wouldn’t mumble like that – and the captions come back on. In RL, we’d just ask people to repeat what they said.

    There are a LOT of variations.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. J Walters says:
    April 14, 2017 at 2:42 PM

    Great post. Just about died laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. circadianreflections says:
    April 14, 2017 at 3:48 PM

    No, I don’t talk text through Siri. He can’t even understand the addresses or places I ask him to find that are on the map! I can only imagine how he’d mangle “my” speak. Mind you, he might spell better than I do without my reading glasses on though. I might not ask friends to meet me at the *uck pond when I meant to say meet me by the duck pond. REALLY!
    They’ve never let me live that one down. (face palm!)

    Liked by 1 person

  11. coldhandboyack says:
    April 14, 2017 at 5:35 PM

    I tried to like Siri myself. She doesn’t understand me at all. I see people doing that talk-to-text thing, and it seems like a cry for attention to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Erika says:
    April 14, 2017 at 6:13 PM

    When I first got Siri on my phone, Little Man asked me if people were really so lazy that they couldn’t text. Um, screw you, kid! But, Siri can’t understand my accent, either, so wtfever.

    My in-laws got On Star on their new car, and apparently it has a Siri type automated assistant. My MIL asked me if On Star records things. I told her I didn’t know and asked why. Apparently her husband cusses out the Siri knockoff because she interrupts him and doesn’t understand what he wants. MIL was concerned that she might get in some sort of trouble over this. I couldn’t keep a straight face for this one.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. JT Twissel says:
    April 14, 2017 at 7:03 PM

    Siri doesn’t understand me either – everyone deserves warm feet and ears.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. loisajay says:
    April 14, 2017 at 8:46 PM

    I knew this was gonna’ be a serious talk. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  16. JoAnna says:
    April 15, 2017 at 12:18 AM

    I don’t think I’m ready for this, Siri. I have enough trouble with the technology I’ve got. Thanks for letting me know what I’m missing, or not missing. If I am ever ready, at least I’ll know it’s not just me.

    Like

  17. Benson says:
    April 15, 2017 at 7:53 AM

    The only text talking gadget I have is Dragon. I bought it a few years ago. I don’t use it much anymore because Clara likes to kibbitz too much.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Geraint Isitt says:
    April 15, 2017 at 12:23 PM

    Whatsapp. You can just talk into the microphone and send a message and Siri doesn’t have to get involved. Siri can’t say my name anyways. Stupid Siri

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Judy E Martin says:
    April 15, 2017 at 12:54 PM

    I rarely try the voice thing but my sister loves it. I didn’t realise that you can say ‘shoot’ when taking a photo and it is taken. I have to admit to using this a lot now!
    I would never try voice texting as I would get mad if she didn’t understand my accent! I love how Siri apologised when you called her a ‘stupid bitch!’ HaHA! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. marianallen says:
    April 15, 2017 at 5:48 PM

    I haven’t tried voice to text. I kinda hate to think of what Siri would make of me. Maybe I might try it, just for larfs.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. marianallen says:
    April 15, 2017 at 5:50 PM

    I just asked Siri, “How do I turn on voice to text?” And the stupid bitch said, “I don’t know what you mean, ‘How do I turn on voice to text?'” She never knows what I mean! NEVER! Well, almost never. ~grump~

    Liked by 1 person

  22. tracikenworth says:
    April 15, 2017 at 8:17 PM

    This is why I’m terrified of public speaking. Everybody would be like, “What did she say?”

    Like

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  24. larva225 says:
    April 17, 2017 at 11:48 AM

    I do the text dictation. Siri? I’m still embarrassingly kinda mystified. My husband LOVES Siri. Too bad he’s a damn mush-mouth in denial.

    Liked by 1 person

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  26. bedlamanddaisies says:
    April 24, 2017 at 6:53 PM

    My husband has the hardest time getting SIRI to understand him. I’m like, by the time you asked her the question 20 times you could have just checked the internet yourself. lol. I rarely use her for more than telling her to call somebody. Or asking her what 0 divided by 0 is because I love her answer.

    Liked by 1 person

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