“Ooh, In the name of love…”
We went to the frickin grocery store on Friday. We did. We took Sassy to the football game and then we went to the Fresh Thyme and they don’t carry vegetable oil, because it’s bad for you and they only sell kleenexes that are good for the earth, so they’re no good for collecting human snot, although they’re perhaps good for exfoliation.
First thing in the morning on Saturday, The Mister went out and bought tissues, which I call kleenexes, but this is a misnomer, because I actually buy Puffs. He bought actual Kleenex brand kleenex because he is a logical, literal person. He forgot vegetable oil, but it doesn’t matter because his wife and daughters are giant snot monsters and it was nice they could breathe again.
On Sunday, we ran out of coffee creamer, but we did have enough vegetable oil to fry the chicken. Don’t try to tell me to fry chicken in some better-for-me oil, and if you even mention Corn Flake baking it instead, I will cut you.
Sunday dinner is supposed to be bad for you. Sunday dinners ought to include cornbread, laden with lard, and come served with swate tay. If you roast a chicken on Sunday, then you’re obligated to make gravy. Them’s the rules.
On Monday, our egg supply grew lean. Milk was, as Moo says, “Too light.” We still needed coffee creamer and vegetable oil.
My issue with grocery stores is probably the pettiest but it’s real, okay? NOT ONE OF THEM CARRIES ALL THE THINGS.
This here and that there, and those things at the bad place, and who the fuck pays $6 for a quart of yogurt? And why are none of these places nearer? And what kind of store runs out of produce bags!? FML And I don’t work here, so either you bring out a cashier or I walk away from this entire cart of food.
And and and!
The Mister said absurd shit to me like, “Just pick that stuff up when you’re out in the morning.”
Hmph.
This morning Sassy told me we also needed sugar, so I took my husband’s advice and I went to the Kroger while I was already out. I’ve never been a fan of Krogering, but now that they’ve closed my Marsh, Kroger is the nearest and least of all evils, so I went there. Props to Kroger, they actually put all the dairy in one place. Unfortunately, they do not have a suitable milk for us. Meaning, I bought some stupid little milk and even though I went to the grocery store today, I will have to go again in the near future.
But worst of all, this happened:
sugar assault
That’s what goin out first thing on a Tuesday gets me. How’s your Tuesday goin?
joeyfullystated 
How aggravating!
What is it with sugar? No matter how hard I try, I can NEVER open, transfer, or otherwise handle a bag of sugar without loosing some. Which reminds me: I have to fill the hummingbird feeder.
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Mine is cocoa. LOL Why it comes in such containers, make you work so hard to measure?!? Gah.
I’m sorry you have sugarportation issues. The hummingbirds are worth it 🙂
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I don’t know why but I hate grocery shopping too. The kids are out of the house now so it’s just hubby and I. We eat different things because I have a goal to lose weight. I could buy just what I need but then I have to think of stuff he likes too. Pain in the butt. Hang in there!
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Oh I concur that would be a pain in the butt! At least I know I’m not alone, thanks 🙂
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I just Tuesday’d all over my own blog, so ye-ah. Meanwhile, while we were 30’ing, we went to SO MANY GROCERY STORES. I hated it. Normally we only do one on the weekend and maybe a quick stop to another during the week on occasion. This goin’ to multiple stores for food is cray-cray. Not for me, I tell ya. Nuh-uh.
Meanwhile, if Sunday dinner is a roast chicken, you not only are required to make gravy but also mashed potatoes with heavy cream. YESSSSSS.
We made old fashioned-real-live chicken soup yesterday in our instant pot and I forgot how good that is. I’m hoping to try to make some potato dumplings to go with it since I don’t do pasta (and GF pasta just falls apart in soups).
I’m glad you got your Puffs (we use those, too!) and I hope you find vegetable oil. Do you ever fry with peanut oil? I thought that was the go-to for fried chicken??
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Oh, mashed potatoes with heavy cream and lots of butter. I forgot the butter…cripes!
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I seldom do the cream in my mash, but I HEAR YA! 🙂
Sign me up for some chicken soup, please. Friday’s chicken n’ dumplins is all gone! I’m makin soup today, too. Pasta e fagioli 😛 Nom!
I don’t know that I’ve bought any peanut oil except for one Asian recipe years ago, which I ended up switching out to Crisco anyway… Olive, coconut, and rarely, safflower. The rest, no.
Got mah Crisco at the Kroger.
Sorry your Tuesday hasn’t been aces, either. I’ll be over to read soon!
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I don’t do cream in my mashed potatoes thesedays, but oh backintheday! I gotta big old crock of the chicken soup. C’mon over! LOL Well, in the next day or so cuz I see it going-going-gone real fast. Real chicken soup doesn’t last ’round here. I love pasta e fagioli but have never made it. Hub loves soup, so we keep looking for good stuff to make. 🙂
I’ve never used peanut oil, I just thought it was one of those that has a high smoke point? We use veggie oil to fry or deep fry, so that’s all I really know. I can’t do coconut anything…it always tastes like suntan lotion to me. I tried it last week, twice, and I just couldn’t stomach (or nose?) it. LOL
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I think peanut oil does have a high smoke point cause I’d used it in a wok recipe.
I do pork chops in coconut oil, and my family loves them, even though two people do not like coconut. Coconut vodka, though, that’s like liquid sunscreen. I don’t know wtf that’s even about. *hork*
Enjoy your soup!!! 😀
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Coconut vodka? BLERG. Why? WHY?
Imma soup it up for dinner! 🙂
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Well..now that you asked I spent an hour at the bank having some British sounding gent tell me that I may be an intelligent fellow I just don’t have any idea how my on-line statement should be read. After that I went to So-Bro liquors to purchase some Brandy for my de-caf pod coffee. Then to CVS to buy the de-caf. Three hours and not one grocery. You are right about Sunday dinners that is why I keep 3 kinds of oil on hand as well as lard and Crisco.
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Sorry about the bank guy
And the runnin around. Yep. Here and there and everywhere, then order from Amazon and check the farmer’s market… Bleh. I feel like an inventory specialist. Controller. Sounds better than it is.
I hope your coffee’s just swell. Thanks for the tune — His sugar is WAY more fly than my own 😉
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Yes indeed he sure has some fly suga.
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I totally get it. I’d rather do almost anything else but grocery shop. It’s the shopping (at two places to get everything), loading into the car, the five trips to unload from the car, and finally, the putting away. Just thinking about it makes me tired…😉
Your Sunday dinner sounds lovely. Have a great week, Joey! 🙂
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It is tiring. And tedious. *sigh*
The week is surely uphill now — hope it’s a good one for you, too! 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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As for my Tuesday, I’m just rousing from yesterday’s cookout food coma. Hoping I have enough leftovers to avoid going to the goddamned grocery store for at least a day or two.
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Bless you. Best of luck.
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I’ve been dying in the heat over the weekend (92 degrees F in my house and no a/c during this northern CA heatwave) and now I’m dying of laughter of your Tuesday rants. That’s what we get for making Mondays a holiday, you have to bitch about Tuesdays 😉 Now, don’t kill the messenger but you should try this quick recipe if you don’t have oil to fry your chicken; rub mayonnaise on your chicken, then roll the chicken pieces in panko bread crumbs (not corn flakes) that have been seasoned with garlic salt and BAKE it! You will be pleasantly surprised at the crunch and moistness of the “oven-fried” chicken (not to mention how good it tastes) and, do it on any day other than Sunday so you won’t feel guilty. It’s a quick and simple recipe – try it, you have nothing to lose except having to run to the market to find oil!
Hope the remaining sugar sweeten the rest of the week!
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Oh I’m so sorry about your heatwave. It’s 72 and gorgeous here. I HATE to be hot and so I feel for you, cause I know I’d be miserable.
Some ants in the parking lot are going to be just delighted when they scout out that pile of sugar!
Thanks for laughing 🙂
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Ugh..grocery stores! I don’t like going, and most times I just send the mister. He likes to talk to all the employees, and he usually sees somebody else he knows, so has to talk to them awhile, too. If I go, I get tired of standing around listening to all the talking. He’s so outgoing like that, not like me,..haha … we only have the one grocery store here (several of the same store, though) and the wal mart, which we don’t buy groceries at. Ours is only a few blocks from the house. What I don’t miss is commisary shopping! I hated that, and would have to take preventative tylenol, because it always gave me a headache. 🙂
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Oh yes, the com was the worst! Especially when it was the only option!
I had more anxiety than headaches, but I understand.
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Oh no, now the ants will come. We found a really good source for whole milk. That’s bad for me, but it’s soooo good.
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NICE!
The ants will come to the Kroger parking lot and they shall par-tay! 😛
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We have similar issues with foodstuffs. Walfart 25 minutes to the left, walfart 20 minutes to the right, both with basically the same crap except farm & fleet has mas coffee, and thats somewhere off to the side..and dont bother with wtfever we have in town, unless all youre looking for is eggs & soda, cuz its all the same, and its all overpriced. And Oh? You want variety? Thats for fancy city folk, and thats where youll get it.
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Yeah. I can imagine that completely. Reminds me of Georgia.
I avoid the bloody buggery Walmart as much as I can. I hate it.
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Well, at least a big pile of ants are gonna be happy. I’m with you, stores that want you to come back should have everything you need – what’s so hard about that?
I went grocery shopping with the Mrs last week. She doesn’t normally take me. She says we spend more money when I’m there. I’m no good at shopping for anything. She’s good, but when we’re together we’re awful.
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I lurve grocerying. I would go to all the stores for you, if I can go here in my town. I like looking at stuff, and sometimes buying it and sometimes thinking better of it and putting it back. I love being like, “Oh! I didn’t know that was A Thing!” But I get very sad/mad/notatallglad if they don’t have a thing I want. If they have stopped carrying it entirely, I’m like, “Why do I go on living???” But mostly, I luve going to all the stores. In fact, I just did. I lurved it.
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I love that you love it 😀
I no likey. Like, I keep my attitude of gratitude, but that hatred of shopping leaks all over it.
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😀
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Grrrrrrr! I love Fresh Thyme, although I do a LOT of my grocery shopping at Aldi and Costco as well. Grocery shopping can certainly be a pain, I agree. But you and I will have a falling out over swate tay. Those two words do not go together in my life. 🙂 I still like you, though.
janet
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I shall not invite you to Sunday dinner and force you to guzzle swate tay. No worries.
Aldi is one of my places, too.
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A perfect topic for a Tuesday rant! Due to the hurricanes my husband has been working every day, at least 12 hours a day for weeks. They bring in food for them so the last two weeks or so I’ve had a reprieve of performing the dreadful task. I have some frozen dinners and popcorn and I’m good to go.
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I’m thankful people like your husband work in times of crisis. I’m also glad you get a cooking/shopping reprieve. I know I can go quite a while on cheese, fruit, nuts, olives, and pickles 🙂
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I think this must be why I grocery almost every day! I was big fan of Publix in Florida, but they haven’t made their way to this part of Virginia. I do Kroger and I do not enjoy those grocery shopping in towns where my only option is Food Lion.
Sugar and flour always seem to find their way out of unopened packages! I call all tissues Kleenex. I don’t make fried chicken, but my sister-in-law makes some that’s amazing.I suspect she uses vegetable oil!
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I like Publix, too. Very fond of their brand of cream soda… SODA. 😛 LOL
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Oh, I do love some cream soda! We once went to a restaurant where the kids had birch beer instead of root beer. It was mighty tasty as well.
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Ooh! I’ll keep my eyes peeled for that 🙂
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I went to big lots and even did a blog post on birch beers. The Boylan’s 12 oz. bottles came from 1891.
In my post I mentioned many things (events) in the world for that year.
They have cane sugar creme soda, St Louis Birch Beer and Red cherry birch beer and they cost around 78 – 88 cents a glass bottle. My grandkids like something with Sioux City prickly pear in it. We pick them out and have blindfolded taste tests. Fun times! 😊
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I truly haven’t seen any of this, and I really will keep my eyes peeled 🙂
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I’ll have to check that out. I’ve had some cane sugar root beer. If I’m going to do soda, I prefer that to the strange ingredients that some brands add. Prickly pear! Now that sounds interesting.
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The fog is rolling in here so we finally have decent air to breathe. You know what they say: don’t cry over split sugar – don’t walk in it is also good advice.
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You dropped that sugar because it’s BAD for you. Sugar is evil. Just don’t cut me. I had two desserts at the church potluck tonight AND a chocolate chip cookie on top of that and I’m not myself.
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LOL I don’t eat much sugar, seems I prefer to DRINK mine 🙂
I hope you’re feeling better now!
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I’m making progress, thanks. 🙂
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Pure corn oil…. don’t buy corn flakes but on occasion will eat Frosted Flakes – I grew up with Tony the Tiger … have never cooked with a corn flake… don’t wanna…
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Me neither.
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My therapist once suggested grocery shopping alone for “me time.” Get a break, clear my head, and get relaxed or some shit. That just made me laugh, because where the hell are you going that grocery shopping is a break? Dealing with the assholes of Walhell is far worse than any shit my kids can dole out. I feel your grocery shopping pains. Went Monday, went yesterday for hurricane prep, gotta go back again today to get hurricane stuff for the family.
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Right? What kinda sadist? That’s up there with waxing or root canals as ‘me time’ — UH, No.
Sorry you gotta go back out today. I will be at the grocery today too. #solidarity
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You are abso-fricken-lutely correct. Not one store carries all the stuff. I spent a mint at WalMart but still have to spend a mint at Voldemart next time I get the opportunity. Why? Because Voldemart has these kick-ass frozen dumplings and instant pho bowls I cannot exist without AND their milk is $1 cheaper a gallon AND I can get TWO DOZEN EGGS for under $4. This is why I have no free time. This is why I’m always tired. I’m going to go eat some dumplings now.
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I know. It’s awful. I like specific items only carried at Aldi, and specific items only carried at everywhere, and going everywhere is not my favorite.
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There is a local grocery store that fills your order and you pick it up at the drive through. When it first started, you might see one employee filling one bag or two. Now there are a half a dozen women going down the aisles filling carts full of orders. Gee, I wonder why. 🙂
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No doubt!
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You always crack me up.
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😀
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Since it is only me at home I tend to cook one pot of homemade something (spaghetti, chili, chicken and noodles. . .) a week. I buy pizza and pack baggies for lunch sometimes, or BBQ chicken rotisserie from deli and always have frozen veggies, whole wheat bread and eggs in fridge. Coffee and toilet paper gets me to go to the store, sometimes lazy and go to Walgreens which is much less stressful, less rows and choices.
Peace 🕊 and loved the ❤ Doors 🎶, Joey!!
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We are sometimes lazy and go to Walgreens, too! Haha! It’s soooo close. Yes, a bit more pricey, but so close!
When I was single, I think I lived on yogurt and frozen veggies. Oh! And things that come in jars, like pickles and olives!
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Oh, how annoying! I hate it when I have to traipse to different shops because not every shop has everything we need! 🙂
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What no Aldi’s? Fuck Kroger!
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