After reading Erika’s post over at Dorky Mom Doodles, I almost commented in 700 words, but then I realized, I could reply in my very own blog and hold all my readers hostage instead.
Four kids. Three of my kids could get awards in tidiness avoidance.
Sissy was the tidiest one. Her thing was definitely to put things in a place, just not necessarily consistently in the right place. I’d say crazy things like, “Why don’t we put the jewelry in the jewelry box and tights in the sock drawer? Maybe we don’t want doll clothes in the desk?” Still, she kept the floor clean and made her bed. Shoes all in a row.
She would do clean naughty things, like rearrange the pantry and misplace foods she didn’t care for.
The rest of them, to varying degrees, have been slobby.
Bubba had been tidy. I dunno. He went from being one of those kids who separated his white socks from his dark socks to one of those kids wherein you open his door and your mother comes out of your mouth and you talk about pig sties and drawin bugs and “HOW DO YOU EVEN FIND ANYTHING!?” Many, many times, I helped him clean and organize his room before I decided that he was a good kid, wasn’t in trouble, made the grades, and if he wanted to live in filth, perhaps that was none of my business.
I know, I know, I could’ve made him meet my expectations. I’m sure you’re very disappointed in me.
It was easy to see why he didn’t like to clean his room. He had no attention span, plus, by the time he regretted his mess, it’d be overwhelming. Think Absent-Minded Professor. Natural consequences won out, and he’s not a walking disaster now.
Now, Bubba comes home to visit and complains about his sisters. This boy one who peed all over their bathroom as a kid is now rather irritated by straightening irons and wet washcloths.
In Sassy’s defense, her room is crowded. Her room is taken up by larger furniture with AMPLE STORAGE. In teenager, ‘ample storage’ translates to ‘unseen’ and is therefore threatening to one’s sense of self-expression. To truly be loved, all the belongings of Sassy must be visible for worship at all times. We must all walk on the clothes, blankets, and stuffed animals that live in such a wonderland of demonstration. But look out for glasses in the plush zoo, because Sassy’s a cup hoarder like no other. I think it’s a recessive gene from her auntie, who was the same at her age. Let me help you understand: If all the glass tumblers are clean and in the cabinet, there’s not actually room for them. Usually the shelf is empty by half.
Sassy’s too busy to clean, so generally it’s “You can’t go until your room is clean.”
Again, I can’t complain, she’s a good kid who makes the grades and stays out of trouble. So she lives like a messy vampire with a stuffie fetish and an insatiable thirst for swate tay, whaddya gonna do?
Moo is basically Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout. Even when she ‘cleans’ her room, it’s not clean and it often has a smell. “How wet was that towel when it died on the floor?” “Did a cat puke in here?” “Phew! Is this a nail salon?” Moo’s usual methods for clean room avoidance are “It’s not that bad,” and “I have homework.” Actually, Moo uses homework as an excuse to try to get out of everything… and she goes to bed first, like, willingly, even though she knows the towels in the dryer are hers to fold… and there’s still a basket of jeans outside her door…
Moo was the first kid to ask, “If Bubba’s room can be messy, why can’t mine?” This is dangerous territory for parents. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I truly believe Bubba gave Moo lessons in how to make and hide messes. But she’s a good kid, stays out of trouble, eats her broccoli, and makes good grades.
My own room is not dirty or messy. But, if you walk over to my side of the bed, the non-murder-you-can’t-see-it-from-the-doorway side, you may find assorted discarded pajamas on the floor. You will absolutely find ten thousand used kleenexes, a dozen hairbands, and if you look closely enough — maybe crawl around on the floor — you might find the remote I never can.
Rumor has it that I was a slobby kid. I don’t know if that’s true, because my parents are neat freaks. In terms of kids’ rooms cleaner and tidier than my own kid room, I remember only two, The Mister’s and Kiwi’s — and their parents are also neat freaks. Our kids say we are, but they’re wrong, they’re slobby and wrong! They tell us their friends’ rooms are much worse, but we don’t know.
I’d ask you if you’re slobby or accused of being a neat freak, but the truth is, I don’t care, cause you don’t live here. Still, feel free to comment.
joeyfullystated 
I do like and appreciate, when my house looks nice, but I’m not in for only doing cleaning and laundry all day…..
So sometimes it doesn’t look so good, even if I try my best to keep it nice.
I do love to be creative, which often takes up much more time, than I would use for cleaning. To be creative gives me another kind of satisfaction.
I do still remember, how it was, while my now adult kids were living at home 🙂
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I agree, creation is worth mess and is satisfying alone.
🙂
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Exactly 🙂
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Many of my standards (Mother kept an impeccable house, but she cheated: the maid would be instructed to make our beds if we ‘forgot’ before we went off to school) died when I acquired three children and got sick. It’s inevitable. A house needs an adult woman’s hand – and it is a horrible waste of an adult woman’s time and energy.
Husband’s paper piles (it’s all there) are legendary, can’t be touched, and cover the office floor.
Have you heard of the ‘artificial reef’ system? Put something down, and a short time later it will accrete (I love that word) another layer; leave that any length of time, and another layers will accrete on top of that… That’s how scientists turn old washing machines and cars into nice places where the fish can live – fauna of the seas, starting with one-celled organisms, accrete on the seed bump, and pretty soon you can’t tell what was there before, it isn’t ugly metal any more, and is a home for fish.
Perhaps this requires water, because my piles never acquire algae or fish.
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I believe I’ve witnessed the artificial reef phenomena here and there. I know a few pilers, and they seem to know their piles. Looks like madness to me, but works for them 🙂
I agree, it often feels like a waste of time, but with the anxiety, I can’t relax or begin a new thing with a messy house. 😦
My husband’s papers are relegated to a drawer. One day, when the stars align just so, I will ask him to sort it. I do believe 99% of it will be shredder food.
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We each have our burdens to bear – my assistant is helping dejunk, and the kids are no longer here, making piles.
They didn’t grow up in a messy home: they grew up in messy rooms of their own making. There’s a difference. Most of the time, most of the glasses came back to the kitchen. They were instructed/coerced/helped to do laundry from a very young age – so there was never a smell component.
As homeschoolers, we were home most of every day, so ‘homework’ and ‘school’ didn’t give them any automatic passes. And they had appropriate storage. In an emergency (ie, someone I cared about was going to visit), it was possible for the adults (me + helper) to restore visible order.
The rest, well, they got me as a teacher – it will have to be enough. I think, from visiting their abodes via Skype, they are tidier now.
But it’s no longer my problem.
And when we move, we will start from zero. The problem is that we haven’t moved since 1981!
Your estimate of how much of husband’s papers will end up recycled is about right – he’s slowly digitizing everything that comes in, and anything worth saving.
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Scanners are marvelous 🙂
My kids do laundry, but they’re still playin it pretty fast and loose with the care of their clothes!
It’s going to be a breath of fresh air when you get to your new place!
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It will be a joy – except it’s also going to be a lot of hard work. The software I though would be definitive is not making it much easier – and we have to visit in person to be able to evaluate a place and its inhabitants, rules, and feel.
With my energy limitation, that will be interesting.
Also, I haven’t mentioned that I’m disabled yet, and wonder how that’s going to go over, Americans with Disabilities Act or not.
I don’t need – and haven’t needed in the past – help with the Activities of Daily Living (ADL) which is what will get you moved to the Assisted Living (AL) part (my biggest fear is being moved prematurely due to ‘rules’).
Still very much up in the air.
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Oh the fights we had with DD#1 and her room. I was insistent on folded clothes in the drawers and if I spent the time to fold them nicely after I did the wash then she should keep them folded nicely. I would scream and yell and pull all of her clothes out of the drawer and make her refold them and put them away. Why? Shades of Joan Crawford, except I never spanked. Some parts of parenting I wish I had a do-over for.
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Because it feels disrespectful to buy the clothes, wash the clothes, dry the clothes, fold them nicely and then have someone wreck it. Makes total sense to me. I think we slowly learn which battles to pick and how hard to go at it, but I STILL don’t like to see wasted work and money lyin on the floor or shoved into a drawer.
Imagine if this was all done at once: You give me a beautiful new blouse and I say thank you, throw it on the floor, walk on it, and then ask you to press it for me? LOL That’s madness, Joan Crawford or not 😉
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My two and now #1 Grandson were slobs! Big Baby Boy got it together when he moved out, but Baby Girl’s room still looks like a pig sty, and #1 Grandson looks just like hers. I can’t stand it. Now I’m not a neat freak, white glove clean kinda gal, but I do like things tidy, and mostly clean…don’t look at my desk, don’t look at my desk, and don’t ask my Mother how neat my room was as a kid! 🙂
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Hah! Seems like even the tidiest people have their ‘thing’. A pile here, a stack there. Chaos on the desk. Such is life 🙂
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Hilarious. My boys were messy. Their Mom bitched I shrugged. I figured that as long as they and the clothes they wore were clean it was all good.
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“I’d ask you if you’re slobby or accused of being a neat freak, but the truth is, I don’t care, cause you don’t live here”. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks for the laugh!!
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My pleasure 🙂
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My kids are such pigs, all of them. We’ll likely have to remodel because of them.
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Damn, Craig, that’s 😦
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Joey, I immensely enjoyed the whole post and laughed a lot, but my favorite line by far is: “She would do clean naughty things, like rearrange the pantry and misplace foods she didn’t care for.” What a great idea!! I, on the other hand, hide food that my wonderful husband would eat much too quickly (boxes of Girl Scout cookies he bought, for example), that would thwart his desire and work at losing some weight. I also stash things that are “mine” or “my half”, as his idea is that if I haven’t eaten all of “my half” by the end of day, it’s anyone’s (meaning his.) No, that does not work. We joke that if I die first, he’ll find food stashed all over the place. 🙂 Not quite true, but not completely untrue.
Sounds like you have delightfully normal children. Good work, You and The Mister.
janet
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Oh Janet, that is SO funny, because I, too, hide away my halves of sweets, because unlike SOME people, I don’t eat it all at once! One thing I found works really well is for me to get raspberry chocolates, because The Mister won’t touch raspberry. Is that something that might work for you?
Am pleased you enjoyed today’s writing 🙂 Thanks.
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Won’t work. He likes raspberries. 😦 I’m sure there are some edible things I like and he doesn’t, but I can’t think of any right now. 🙂
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Well, if you do, I recommend it 😉
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My daughter drives me mad with her messy room. I wash and iron all her clothes, they go in the room get chucked on the floor, and any she hasn’t worn that week will go straight back into the washing bin when I demand she tidies her room!!
I often find empty glasses up there as well! Although I am not at all keen on mess my room is small and cluttered so often looks messy without me even trying!! I don’t have clothes on the floor though, they just burst out of the wardrobe and drawers!!
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Oooh, I know it! I find stuff in the hampers, and I’m like, “No, huh uh, she ain’t worn this!” LOL I throw that stuff back. “Febreeze it, hang it, wear it!” LOL The more they do laundry, the better they get, but damn that’s a problem!
It’s my understanding that the UK suffers tremendously from lack of closet space. I understand your clothing storage issues.
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I have got to the point now where I have told her that if I keep seeing stuff in the washing I know she hasn’t worn then I will chuck it out!!!
I like your style with the Febreeze and hang it attitude, Joey. Not as drastic but still effective! 🙂
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We still have memories of such things. Now we get to hear our words coming out of our (adult) kids regarding their kids. Lots of eye rolls and chuckles (paybacks r pits). Recall watching my daughter dress one day. She took cloths off hangers, put on, take off, throw on floor; repeat, repeat, etc. She finds one and starts to leave. Excuse me? Then, sarcastic comments. And wet towels on the bed? (don’t get me started!). Good write, Joey. Thanks.
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LOL You remember it well!
My boy one lived with his grandparents last year. Whenever they complained about his paltry messes, I’d bite my tongue so hard to not say, “He probably just needs you to show him” or “He must not have enough storage containers.” I swear, it was such a delight 😉
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As a child my room was pretty messy, but I never left clothes on the floor. I think I got that drilled into my head that if my parents spent money on clothes for me, I’d better respect that and take care of them. My mother used to yell at me about my room, but at some point gave up and just started closing the door. LOL
I like tidy, but I don’t have an issue with a little bit of mess. My side of the bed/bedroom is tidy but there are some organized stacks of things around. Hub, on the other hand, is a messy person and leaves stuff everywhere. His stacks and piles not only grow but also migrate and actually take over new spaces. I am forever asking him to keep his mess in one (mildly hidden) area, but it never happens. I still ask, he still ignores. It’s some sort of odd game we play… 😉
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Haha! These odd games we play! Love that!
My husband occasionally gets into piles. He used to pile all the time! Clothes he’d worn and intended to wear again? Well, after a certain amount of time passes, those are dirty!
I don’t leave my pajamas there for days and days. Just strip and toss and pick up when I make the bed.
I’m glad you respect your clothes. I remember the Show Respect To Your Belongings lecture series very, very well myself 😉
I keep messy tables, not just in the bedroom, but beside me here on the sofa. Of course, I clean them up throughout the day, but it gets messy still.
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There’s tidy-messy and husband messy. I’m just sayin’. LMAO
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You make me LOL. And, even though you don’t care, I’ll tell you something for nothing: I’m slobby. My husband wanted one room — ONE ROOM — that would be kept totally neat for visitors. I was like, “You mean a Front Room? A Parlor? Didn’t that go out with stovepipe hats? How about we just don’t invite anybody to visit?” That works.
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Thank you!
OH I could never do one of those rooms where it’s sit, but not too comfy, look but don’t touch. I am not all about that life! Thank you, Marian, I hope one day I can come visit your so-called slobby house. Or not. We could meet for noms in a dive. I don’t care. Like to see you again 🙂
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Yay!!!!
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Hehe, I don’t think I must answer this, you’ve seen photos of my place. I keep order on my blog, in my Scrabble game and in my head. The rest – where it falls, it stays, destiny! I live with a neat freak though, so it gets interesting. Your kids sound most excellent, and you as well, of course.
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I bet it is interesting, the two of you, like The Odd Couple? Do you know that show?
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I only know the film with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. He is one of his favourites.
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Doesn’t get any better than the original!
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I think I’m more of a slob now than I was as a kid. Then again, I didn’t have a job and a busy social life either. There are priorities, you know, although I think I would rather vacuum up the cat hair than be frazzled at work.
You are correct. You have four good kids. If the worst of it is them being messy, I think you’ve done a fine job of being a mom.
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Thanks 🙂
I second your well-ordered priorities. When I am busy, happy or not, my house gets messy, too.
I would rather the cats take up vacuuming, Mary 😉
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Those cats and their non-opposable thumbs…darn it all!
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I didn’t care when my kids got messy, I just closed their bedroom door. As for me, I clean when I’m stressed, get messy when I’m busy/happy.
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Same. I think we’ve discussed that before, the need to clean to alleviate angst. It’s real. I love enjoying long weekends or holiday times NOT cleaning, just soakin up the togetherness and all that, but I can’t let it go too long, bad for my anxiety.
The kids seem to close their own doors at a certain age 🙂
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No kids, but cats. We don’t let anyone in.
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I’ve never been accused of being neat and tidy. Ever. Of my girls, one was neat and organized, the other totally opposite. 🙂
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When my kids all moved out, I cleaned their rooms and was stunned, STUNNED with all the stuff in there. Where’d it all come from?? I no like ‘stuff.’
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Same! It’s like their hands are made of suction cups! LOL
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I have creative mess and can relate to Sassy’s wonderland of demonstration. As a teenager, my walls were almost covered in posters with a few on the ceiling. Now, most of my wall hangings are framed, so I figure I’m making progress.
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Don’t even get me started… my people drive me crazy – daughter way too messy, mom way too OCD about messes.
And me… a happy balance of tidy and organized with a comfortable amount of “clutter” and a light layer of dust (cuz I hate dusting).
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I feel like I’m with you there, in the middle. But then I have to dust, because ACHOO! lol Which reminds me, I really need to get at my ceiling fan…
Thanks for chimin in, Jewels 🙂
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Oh, let’s not make this about me and my mess. I think you’re right to focus on “good kid, stays out of trouble, eats her broccoli, and makes good grades” ‘cuz “my room was always clean” ain’t gonna get that kid a job. Science magazine ran an article about how researchers think messy desks could be a sign of genius – personally, I’m on-board.
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It’s a good direction to go 🙂
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I’ve learned to just shut their doors. It saves my sanity. They’re getting most of the important things right, so it’s not a battle that I’m willing to fight. I was a messy child…a horrible at housekeeping wife in the early years (I preferred to play with the babies and toddlers that I was home with)…and now am settling into a comfortable level of clean (that space where I try not to be disappointed when that space I took time to clean is dirty 15 minutes after the whirlwind of household members passes through it).
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Aw, playtime with babies!
I agree, shutting the doors is good, and mine seemed to evolve to that on their own 🙂
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I’m not by nature the tidiest person in this house, but I can make things look passable in short order. My motto about stuff is: a place for everything and everything near its place. Zen-Den would say I live in a more visual way than he does, being that he’s a person inspired to put things away almost as soon as he gets them out.
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It doesn’t sound like y’all make one another crazy (that way) 😀
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Oddly, this has been one of those non-issues for us. He’s tidy, I’m not– life goes on.
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🙂
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LM is like Bubba. This kid used to freak about things being orderly, sorted by color and type, to being slight AF. I’ll break down and organize his room once every few weeks though. Thanks for the shoutout!
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Yup, grew up slobby. My floor was covered, though I did have a path from the door to my bed.
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Paths are very nice for parental units. I feel much safer when there’s a path.
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Indeed. And it’s always good to know the floor still exists.
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Mental note, do not catch up on your blog while drinking. The spit up factor is off the charts and I hate to waste alcohol!
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😀 Thank you!
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