One-Liner Wednesday — Sunscreen

Posted on September 20, 2017 by joey

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A tan fella pointed to The Mister’s legs and told me, “You need to take him outside.”

I said, “Dude, no. We’re white people. We’re supposed to be this color.”

weds

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About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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49 Responses to One-Liner Wednesday — Sunscreen

  1. Benson says:
    September 20, 2017 at 9:48 AM

    True and you won’t have to worry about looking like a alligator as you age.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. orbthefirst says:
    September 20, 2017 at 9:48 AM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Liked by 1 person

  3. marianallen says:
    September 20, 2017 at 10:58 AM

    ROTFLOL! I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. bikerchick57 says:
    September 20, 2017 at 11:07 AM

    Ha! Nice retort! I’m one of those tan people, even have some color in winter. My really white friends hate that.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Frank Hubeny says:
    September 20, 2017 at 11:51 AM

    That was also a nice look on her face.

    Like

  6. meANXIETYme says:
    September 20, 2017 at 11:56 AM

    Bwahahaha. Needed that. Thanks. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt says:
    September 20, 2017 at 12:30 PM

    Pale pink person here. Wear lots of sunscreen (my youngest keeps reminding me it isn’t ‘suntan cream’ any more) to avoid becoming bright red person. A tan should be gained slowly, outdoors. I think you want to do it such as to avoid tan lines (farmer’s suntan), but I think society disapproves.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. coldhandboyack says:
    September 20, 2017 at 12:37 PM

    Too funny. I’m one of those long sleeve guys in the summer myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. vanbytheriver says:
    September 20, 2017 at 1:08 PM

    White girl who freckles and sunburns. I’m tired of the tan-less shaming. Good for you with this line ! I was really brown once. Took a summer off in Utah, was out every day, no rain/clouds there much. I gave up suntan lotion as I darkened, started using Crisco. I was “cooking”. I prayed for rain. I also developed skin lesions that were pre-cancerous. Lesson learned.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      September 20, 2017 at 4:52 PM

      Yikes! That’s one of those things we find out too late. I’ve ‘got color’ right now because I’ve been outdoors a lot, WITH SUNSCREEN, but this shade I am now, only on my forearms, really, is enough that no one comments on my whiteness. Well, and the rosacea… My legs are as white as his.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Dan Antion says:
    September 20, 2017 at 1:09 PM

    Are your choices White or Red?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. circadianreflections says:
    September 20, 2017 at 1:22 PM

    ROFL!!! I would have recommended sunglasses to that person to help with the glare. 🙂 I have the same problem being blinding white myself. 🙂 I do use fake tan which does help…a tiny bit.

    My Mom, He-Man, and Baby Girl have more Olive complexions and get gorgeous bronze tans, and look lightly tanned all year otherwise. I won’t lie I’m a bit envious of them for that.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Judy E Martin says:
    September 20, 2017 at 2:11 PM

    HAHA! Me and Grump have lily white legs too, but tanned arms!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Erika says:
    September 20, 2017 at 2:16 PM

    That meme! I watched Mean Girls on Netflix again a couple nights ago, and I’m always near pissing my pants laughing during that scene.

    I feel y’all’s pain. I even wore shorts this summer, and despite many burns, my legs are still blindingly white. Guess that’s our lot in life.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Fourth Generation Farmgirl says:
    September 20, 2017 at 5:12 PM

    Having a tan is way overrated. Lovely, alabaster skin is much more attractive….and less leathery. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  16. loisajay says:
    September 20, 2017 at 8:45 PM

    White white skin is good skin. You never fail to bring a smile, Joey!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Joanne Sisco says:
    September 21, 2017 at 9:14 AM

    omg Joey – I LOVE that response!! I just may have to borrow it some day! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  18. bedlamanddaisies says:
    September 21, 2017 at 3:57 PM

    That’s a great line! As much as I love a little color, I’ve probably already done enough damage growing up in the Florida sun. Plus, my dad has had multiple cancerous spots (and not pre-cancers) removed from his face and I’m hoping that I don’t have the same fate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      September 21, 2017 at 4:24 PM

      I hope so too, Amy. I’ve got friends my age who’ve already lost chunks of skin to cancer and pre-cancerous spots. Lots of friends, most of whom are not even southerners. I’m glad you liked my line, I mean it, too!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. JoAnna says:
    September 21, 2017 at 8:09 PM

    In my late teens and twenties, probably even in my 30s, I was embarrassed by my white, freckly skin, so I’d go out and get a burn so it would turn into a tan. I don’t think I’ve ever just tanned without burning first. It’s so nice not to care anymore. I don’t even shave my legs regularly. I like your response. I’ve also been working telling myself, “This is how God made me,” which works for self criticisms about body shape, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:
      September 22, 2017 at 8:32 AM

      I have to burn to get tan, which does not motivate me to get a tan. I was in my early 20s when I stopped caring about being tan and in my mid 30s when I started really paying attention to sunscreen. Mostly cause I lived in the south and had to wear it daily. :/
      I don’t understand the obsession with tans. It’s definitely a societal construct.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. pluviolover says:
    September 22, 2017 at 10:53 AM

    On elevator with me all bandaged up after surgery for skin cancer (minor). Black couple with young son get on and the youngster stares are me cuz of bandages on my face. Wife notices him and advises, “Wear sunscreen.” The four adults had a good laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Laura says:
    September 24, 2017 at 4:05 PM

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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