You’ll never believe what I’ve been doing.
Almost Everything.
It’s very mommer to do Everything this time of year.
I’m not doing Everything. That’s why I wrote Almost Everything.
I made one meal all week. That was about a hundred years ago, Monday maybe.
I reconnected with the sammich love of my life this week.
Mostly, I worked and ran errands.
I’d made some decisions about the holidays earlier in the season. Grumpy decisions. I’m not Bah Humbug, but over time, I’ve maybe become a lil jaded about certain things.
Last year, I took an adorable box of my baked goods to someone’s house, whereupon person did not say thank you, but instead “Put them on the table.” Now, I should be giving the goodies with love and not a care in the world about appreciation, because generosity of spirit, but instead, I felt only the sting of tears.
I bake because I enjoy it, but the giving part is optional, cause I also, my family also, likes eating.
So maybe after 22 years of this tradition, I’ve become a bit stingier.
Like Water for Chocolate, y’all — Choke on some bitter cookies with angry icing.
I’ve also grown a bit Scrooge over holiday cards. I take the time to sit and write cards by hand and then time to stand in line at the post office to get festive stamps and time to put cute little stickers on them and honest to goodness, there are very few people who give a fuck. I should be sending out cards with loving messages because I am a loving person who wants everyone to enjoy a moment of knowing they matter to me. Instead, I’m more, i could be watching the crown, petting my cat…
So after 26 years of writing holiday cards to everyone I love, this year I’m only writing cards to people who give a fuck.
Otherwise, people might get hexed with paper cuts.
I buy the presents. I spend hours and hours online an in stores, buying the presents. So people can thank my husband, and give me something that wasn’t good enough for someone who really matters to them.
OF COURSE IT’S A CONSPIRACY! How else could it be explained?
I’m not particularly into things. Is it the thought that counts? How do I measure that? I’m into feelings. I don’t feel how one should feel, at all.
I never have to ask my dog what she wants for Christmas. She wants bones. Bones on bones on bones.
Maybe if you have to ask what we like, you shouldn’t shop for us.
So um, this year, if you haven’t been inside me, not so much of my time or thought for you.
Aren’t I terrible?!?
Give me another ten years and I’ll be like The Mister. “Fuck it. Fuck em all.”
He says I’m shedding delusions.
Less is more, amirite?
I have lived for this weekend. Wrapping paper ribbon joy, coffee on the circle, smiles and laughter, latkes by candlelight, vanilla scented songs, blankets and shows, snuggles and cuddles with my family, pancakes in pajamas, an abundance of twinkly lights, too much ham with too much mash and too much gravy — anything beyond that will not please me.
LONG LIVE THIS WEEKEND!
What’s your Yule Mode?
Stream of Consciousness Saturday — SoCS ‘yule/you’ll/Yul‘is brought to you by LindaGHill
joeyfullystated 
This year has been very different, very relaxing and no holiday-related stress. I didn’t make my seven different kinds of cookies this year. Due to a sick cat, a sick foot, and new tires on the car, I am not exchanging presents with anyone. I only sent cards to a few people…the ones that usually send me one back. I’m going to church Christmas Eve, then to a friend’s house for lots of food, good conversation and adult refreshment. Christmas Day is dinner with mom. Oh, and tonight my girlfriend and I are playing Santa’s elves by delivering presents to the young girls downstairs while they are away. Fun stuff!
Sometimes Christmas can be a stressful drag, but I sure hope that yours is not. Have a wonderful holiday with the family, Joey.
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Kinda hard to like that, with the sick cat and sick foot.
I’m glad it’s less stressful for you, though. I’ve always felt I kept the simplest aspects and avoided the drama, but even the small things unnerve me this year. I just wanna be at home unto ourselves, at all.
We will have an entire merry weekend, Mary ❤
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Next year, I’m removing myself from the drama queens that unnecessarily make this time of year stressful. I will go to a state with snow and pray for a blizzard. Then, “Aw, I can’t make it.” Then bliss.
Merry Christmas, your way!
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I’m a fan of your plan. Thankful this weekend will be peaceful and gratifying.
I hope you have a very merry Christmas, too! 🙂 Thanks!
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You know, we’re feeling a little chapped this year. Our income issues couldn’t have landed at a worse time. We still covered everyone, and now the “adult” children are acting all bitchy. My wife said next year everyone gets a gift card and that’s it. It took twenty five plus years to get her to that point, but I think she’s actually serious this time. I’ll be shocked if we get a gift from any one of them.
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OH that’s sad for your Mrs. I know the pain behind that decision. I wonder if that’s not inevitable? When the time comes and you realize you put so much into it and don’t feel what you should — worse, it’s your own kids.
I’m sorry your financials are down this year, you’re right, it’s a bad time to be tight. Been there plenty.
Makes me grateful for the things that aren’t things. More of that for me, please. I’ll take a gravy boat full of mutual appreciation and I’ll pass it to you.
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Ha ha, I’ll take some and pass it on.
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I loved this! Not because you aren’t feeling it but because I am not feeling it either. Now that I have a kindred spirit, all is well. Also it sounds like your mister and my mister could be twins. Fuck em all! I do hope you enjoy the pancakes in pajamas; that is our plan too. Blueberry for me and the mister and chocolate chip for the girl.
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So sorry to know you’re not feelin it either. Kindred spirits and all. Pancakes in pajamas are a tradition for us, I sure hope you enjoy yours! Peace to you and yours 🙂
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Us too! Living in a parallel universe.
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😀
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“Put them on the table” — wtf?!?! She needed to be smacked over the head with the treat box.
I didn’t go all out with the baking and the the Christmas cards this year, either. Just a few people got some. Between a few friends/family members being thoughtless and/or rude morons, I wish I could just stay home with my little family and not have to deal with anyone else. Ho ho ho.
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Don’t you bake like, ten cheesecakes this time of year?
I felt too hurt, too sad to feel violent, but the anger eventually emerged. Sigh.
I do get to stay home and be with my little family, and for that, I am grateful. ❤ Peace to you and yours.
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Haha, close 😉 I didn’t bother with cheesecake this time since I’m making one for my husband’s birthday. There have been a couple sort of jokey complaints, but they’ll get over it.
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Yeah they will!
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We ditched sending cards when our daughter went to college. It was cards or Christmss dinner and dinner won. Most of the cards we got this year are photo cards that basically say “look at how perfect our life is” some include text that almost actually says that.
My wife sent once baked cookies for our office (she made excellent cookies). She wrapped a special small plate for my boss. I left it on his desk. He returned it to me and said “she’s making me fat!” Another boss-level guy called him an a-hole and took the cookies. She made that guy cookies until he retired. And he was downright skinny.
Sorry for the long comment. You touched a nerve I can’t weite about ‘cuz people around here would take it personally.
Merry Christmas. Enjoy the cookies and the love of good people.
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I’m pleased by your long comment, always welcome here. People may take this personally, too, but who knows? and who cares? because I don’t know who actually reads my blog!
I’m going to enjoy three days of my little family in my little house made of love and yum. I hope you do the same. Thank you, Merry Christmas.
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That’s the plan here.
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Don’t have pancakes in your pajamas: the crumbs will make you itch. Have the pancakes on plates and be in your pajamas alone. Or with someone you love. But not with pancakes. I would totally be one of those people you thought didn’t give a fuck, because I never send Christmas cards. So every year I get fewer Christmas cards, which makes me sad, because I love getting Christmas cards and knowing somebody thinks enough of me to send one. Getting Christmas cards makes me feel all happy and warm, but I only got 9 this year, and that serves me right. I know I got 9, because I hang all my Christmas cards up so I can look at them all season (until Epiphany) and be happy. I knew my comeuppance was coming, so I started saving cards several years ago. Next year, I’ll have to use old cards because only two people will still send me cards. I know who they are, and they send cards because sending them gives them as much joy as it gives me to receive them. They love me and know me, and know I smile and fill up with love every time I look at their cards. As for Christmas, we long ago decided not to give gifts to anybody but the children under 18. Because. I love you, Joey!
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You had me all LOL about the pancakes in pajamas! 😛
I love you, too.
You don’t have to send a card to let people know you give a fuck. You really don’t. I’ve never gotten a pile in return. I don’t think of it as tit for tat. I’m most pleased to receive cards, too, but the people who actually remark positively about cards are my fave. People who make snide comments about how much time I’ve got on my hands, or “Who does that anymore?!” are not my fave. I’d send you a card, Marian. You obviously give a fuck.
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❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
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Good job. Then you can watch for the special people, and the special present, and not even be stressed out.
Our youngest daughter came home, and she’s taking back with her a couple of containers of frozen processed cooked chicken. She loves it – but is creeped out by bones. If I process it, she will use it in everything. That’s a good present, right?
BTW, you stole my post title. It’s sitting there waiting for me to get to it.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
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Actually, I think that’s a truly thoughtful gift. I wish my MIL would give me raw stuffing, lol!
Use the title, I claim no ownership.
Merriest of Christmases to you! Thanks!
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I hear ya! Christmas just isn’t the same for us any more, either. I did send out a few cards to family and special friends, and got gifts for my daughter’s and their families.Today is our 48th anniversary, and we don’t do the gift giving to each other for that, or for Christmas any more. If we want something, we just go get it. Your plan for a cozy Christmas day sounds perfect. Merry Christmas! 🙂
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Awww! Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Could not agree with you more. Why waste time on Fucks who don’t appreciate it. It is all well and good to say “Giving is its own reward” but is it so hard for one of those unappreciative Fucks to say Thanks? I don’t send cards anymore and don’t expect them. I gift the Grand kids only don’t expect gifts in return. If you eat any of my baked goods it is because you are in my kitchen it sure ain’t cuz I sent them to you. I am not a total Scrooge. Christmas is still in my Heart I just don’t go out of the way to show it . Well maybe I am a bit of a Scrooge. No matter Merry Christmas.
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Thanks. No matter is right. Merry Christmas to you, too, Benson. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
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There is only so much we can do. I’m sure there are men out there who make Christmas happen, but for many of us moms, it’s mostly on us. So like you, I let some things go, and I don’t feel guilty about it. No more Christmas cards, no more striving to wrap presents perfectly (a bow will do), and no more feeling the need to bake dozens of cookies to hand out to others. I’ll bake what I have time to bake, and if I happen to travel to visit family, I’ll bring some with me. That’s good enough for now.
I’m sure you’re swamped with your new job. I imagine your family is just happy to have such a good woman in their lives. 😊
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I sure hope so. I appreciate them. ❤
Guilt doesn't make any sense. Your methods are wise.
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Im over it. All of it. I recognized the solstice as a day to be recognized and thats as far as I got. Totally done celebrating the holidays for other folks too. Its all just way too stressful and a waste of time.
Hopefully yours is fine, but I just want mine to feel like just another day. Ive better things to stress about.
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The stress is gone for me. It’s three days of happiness here. Made my latkes, visited the circle, got my coffee. Life is good.
Even if Monday is just another day for you, I hope it’s a good one. ❤
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I have always loved everything about Christmas – the reason for the season, decorating, and the family connections. But, when the kids and their kids get all grown up, it becomes pretty materialistic. Take the cash, forget the thanks. I use to love baking but foodies aren’t interested in old fashioned recipes. I love sending cards and receiving them but have learned to save myself the frustration by only sending to the older group and never expecting a response so when I do actually receive a handwritten card it is special. I use to send three boxes minimum, and now I’m down to about 16. Typing a generic greeting on FB or any other social media site, hitting enter, and thinking that suffices will never meet my needs, and I actually find it insulting. Can you spell dinosaur? 🙂 Wishing you and your family a wonderful holiday. If I lived closer, I’d accept those cookies and send you a thank you, and you could accept my quilted gift and say thanks rather than put it somewhere that the sun doesn’t shine. 🙂
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Yes ma’am, all that. But see, I maybe am ‘older’ than I am. Inside. I dunno about dinosaur, but maybe traditional, old-fashioned in some ways. I cherish quilted anything.
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Merry Christmas Joey – enjoy!! 🙂
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I’m wearing my festive footwear, have been over-indulging in an assortment of treats alcoholic and non, and more or less bracing myself until it’s over. Other than that? No prezzies, no fancy meal, no decor. Less is more, indeed.
But did you know? Cranberry sauce tastes great on peanut butter toast!
Cheers, dear. Enjoy your time with family. ❤
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That actually sounds really good, pb-cran toast… Hmm.
Can I just say, before kids, I kept my own Xmas, baked and drank and people came by, and I hope it’s that way after kids, because I’m just not into…..
Well, I think you get it.
I haven’t decided if it’s rum or pinot noir today, and that’s a nice decision to make.
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Funny thing about Christmas cards. For years I couldn’t be bothered but now I’m back at it, sending about a dozen and a half every year mostly as good wishes and reminders that “I remember you”. I feel good doing it and I hope the people I send them to feel good getting them, but in the end it doesn’t matter. I just like doing it. I like putting actual pen to actual paper. But I never tell about all the wonderful amazing fantastic unbelievable things we/my kids/my husband/my dog did or where we went or the reno that went wrong. (God, I loathe those braggy cards). They are just wishes and hopes because we all need those. I like the sound of your new Yule rules, Joey. You bring pine scented freshness to the blogosphere.
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I like the update cards from several people — the ones I hardly ever see, but I know what you mean about the braggy ones. I agree, wishes and hopes and lots of love. Thanks for enduring my grumpy post.
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The girlie and I have done lots of cookie baking. Mostly I just supervise and she does all the baking. She doesn’t like to remove the pans from the oven though. I don’t blame her. I inevitably end up with burns (none this year though). I thought we’d give some away, but they keep disappearing. In the end, I don’t care because the ones eating them are all the people I love the most.
I always want to do Christmas cards, but I never do.
I spend hours on people’s presents, but I don’t know if they ever realize it.
Enjoy your weekend and Christmas Joey!!
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Thanks!
As far as I know, my kids are all anxious about removing hot pans from the oven, as am I, so maybe they got that earnestly when they see us burned? When The Mister’s home, I’ll ask him to do it, and he has no worries about it!
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Mom’s always have all the stress. 🙂 Hubby helps where he can, but he isn’t into anything but watching them unwrap and eating. lol I didn’t get my cards done. Do that this week and they become Happy New Year, done that a few times. 🙂 Merry Christmas! Oh, I only baked a batch of cookies today, that is it. 🙂
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Ha! The harsh reality of holidays. Hats off to you for not showcasing the sugar-coated version of Christmas like others which is not so merry. Still, have fun! And a great year ahead.
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Very kind, thank you!
I wish you the same 🙂
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Yes, yes, and yes. Less is more. Do the things for the fun. Do the things for the fulfillment. And shed the delusions so you’ll be lighter AND happier.
Amen.
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I am still chewing on reading what you shared – and thinking about things like “is that a snowman cardholder she has – and is it hallmark?) – ha
and less is more…. si.
oh and that opening plate of food – looks DE-LISH!
and jaded is such a good word here –
and now this is a bit of a side note- but does tie in
– earlier today I was leaving a little comment with my xmas card and I wrote
“Happy Holidays”
then I thought about all the people who are going batty over the need to say Merry Christmas and to keep the Christ in Christmas – even though the X stands for christ and the whole Xmas is not bad…
anyhow – I thought I do not care what anyone says or thinks – I just sorta feel like writing happy holidays and it has nothing to do with dissing religion.
no need to comment on that – just had to share cos that part of my Yule Mode.
🙂
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You must make the chicken dish above, because it is too simple. Seasoned chicken, sliced tomatoes, salsa for those who like more spice, cheese, and cilantro for those who like that. Easy peasy, and pleases all. I usually take mine with salad, but the other people like a bit more food and starch 😉
You know, it IS a snowman card holder, and since my mother gave it to me, Yes, I’d totally bet it’s from Hallmark! LOL I strongly suspect my mother has never gone to work for Hallmark for fear of shopping away her earnings 😉
I agree with you on the good wishes. I am also a Happy Holidays kinda girl, but I’ll wish people whatever they like. Because wishing people good, happy, blessed and merry things IS A GOOD THING! ❤
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that does sound easy and I will keep you posted – it looks also like a meal that sticks with ya –
re: hallmark snowman – funny how your mom loves all that – for a few years we received annual hallmark treasures from my FIL’s former wife – I do NOT miss getting them anymore – but love the ones we have and it is more than enough = but I think one of our holiday hallmark picture frames looks like your card holder – that was why I was wondering – so right on – they are likely from the same collection.
and amen to this:
Because wishing people good, happy, blessed and merry things IS A GOOD THING
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I called mine “manageable – mostly – stress tinged with the sadness of extended family drama.” It was a really really good Xmas. But I never felt that twinge in my hear, you know? That feeling of happy, nostalgic Xmas. Maybe next year.
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I am so sorry there was a sadness at all. I wonder if we can ever create what we want… I’ve given this a lot of thought lately. Deep Thought.
I want to warn you, not in a jaded way, but in a practical one, that some of the joy, not all, but a noticeable amount, slides away as the children grow taller. In one way, I believe those of us who had children have repeated Christmas joys through them, but they, too, will grow out of utter delight, and again, it’s notable. They will have expectations and commitments from employers, peers, gift exchanges, and a fear of being judged by comparison of loot. So, in the way that people do, but not in a patronizing way, i encourage you to delight in their delight, as I know you do, but deliberately, note your contentedness at the time.
I believe this can only be fixed by having one’s darling grandchildren to the house, and when they too, are too tall, there need to be great-grandchildren coming! LOL
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Yeah, I kinda figured as much. That’s why I’ll cut whatever kid tries to blow Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy before it is absolutely necessary. In any case I hope y’all have a wonderful New Years!
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Me too, you too!
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Please send me the recipe for Bitter Cookies with Angry Frosting. I so want to make that next year! After the holiday I had (and my own angry existential angst during card writing) that made me laugh!
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Well I’m very glad 🙂 Thanks!
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