You do it, I don’t wanna.
I’d love to say adulthood is filled with people doing the things they’re supposed to, because that IS rather the gist of adulting, but chances are you’ve recently had to step up and do some shit cause someone else wasn’t. Some stuff is just our stuff, our lot in life, our job, our role, whatever.
One of my tasks is planning the evening meals.
I’ve been doin it since before I had kids, since before I married, since summer of 1998.
I’m tired of it. I don’t wanna. I’ve been tryin to get out of it for years. It’s easier to get them to cook than it is to get them to think of what to cook.
Whereas I could live rather well on cheese and olives, yogurt and fruit, or any number of dairy and plant combinations for that matter, some people seem to think a balanced meal is to be served each and every day, night after night, with the chopping and the seasoning and the pots and the pans and this is to go on until I die, because as I lay dying, someone will sit at my bedside, take my hand, and say, “Mama, I’m hungry.”
Today I must acquire the food, and for that, I must have a plan, because I ain’t all about gettin my steps in walkin hither and yon in the grocery store. I’m not in the mood to imagine what those people would like to eat for the next week. I am simply NEVER in the mood for that.
Last night I told them, “If you’d like to eat this week, you need to offer suggestions,” and not a peep was heard.
I asked again this morning:
Moo is ordinarily full of ideas and she left me high and dry mumbling about biology tests.
When pressed, Sassy suggested spaghetti, because she always suggests spaghetti. Every week of her life, since she could say “Sketti.” Sometimes I don’t know why I even ask her.
The Mister suggested tacos and then later, burgers, and said he is willing to grill. He said, “With baked beans!”
I said, “For us.”
He asked, “They don’t like baked beans?”
“Nope.”
“What the fuck is wrong with those kids?”
“I dunno.”
drew made this for me
It’s like that. If they don’t like it, Let Them Eat Ramen!
My kids think ramen is a treat. They live for nights when I make gross fish or disgusting risotto, so they can eat ramen. I cook how I do and my kids willfully announce to the public that their favorite food is ramen. #momlife
Still, I got three ideas and now my burdens are light enough to do the tradin properly — I shall roll down my windows and sing the songs into the sunshine.
What burden can you put off on someone else today?
joeyfullystated 
Not a darn one that I can think of. I’ve got to get my paint garb on and get back to that job. AND, I’ve been sick to death of planning meals for several years now. I could eat cereal for breakfast, cheese and crackers for lunch, and salad for dinner and not complain once. I’ve been trying to meal plan for too long to even mention because then you’d think OMG I didn’t know she was that old. 🙂
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You and I could clearly dine together, freeing up SO MUCH TIME for other tasks! I’m sorry you can’t pawn any tasks off on someone else. Paint it up good! 🙂
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Charlie’s easy. If I can’t think of anything to cook, I can say, Ramen, sketti, or cereal, or eggs, and he’s like, “Okay.” Or, if not, he offers a suggestion in self-defense. If I’m not in the middle of something, or if I get all Motivated, I like to think of what to make and make it. But I don’t hold down a job outside the home. No goin’ out clothes for ME, most of the time. Sittin’ here editing other people’s books and reading Joeys, wearin’ my jeans and a shirt wif a wolf on it. Only one wolf. I don’t make enough to have a Three Wolves and the Moon shirt. But I’m rich in Joeys, so I am content.
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Gah, you crack me up! I don’t have a single wolf shirt. I don’t think I could pull it off. Can’t even do animal print, let alone an actual animal! lol Plus, I do have to have the work clothes… Oh wait! I have a BatCat tee and a Pusheen tee!
I’m glad Charlie’s easy. The Mister is, too. It will be considerably easier when it’s just the two of us. It’ll be eerie quiet, but much less with the shoppings.
Thanks so much for the LOLZ and the compliment! 🙂
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Ugh. I hear you. I just dont want to deal with room clean up anymore. Ive been trying to get my room cleaned up since my foot thing and omfg. Im just done. All I wanna do is not sleep on the couch. Cant sleep on my bed cuz too much crap. Cant get around in my spaces because chair, and cant utilize the floor properly because of the things. THERE ARE NO MORE SPACES FOR THE THINGS, I say. No one hears me. I scream in vain.
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Mmm, we do scream in vain a lot. If I lived closer, I’d be over there like a lil tornado, fixin yer feng shui like whoa, *sigh* but alas, I am farrr.
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I appreciate the thought. 🙂
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I could live on olives, cheese, yogurt and fruit too! We generally make casseroles on the weekend and then eat leftovers the rest of the week.
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See, Jan, we could dine together. When I was single, my roommate and I often ate leftovers half the week.
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Oh, I feel your pain! Why do they always want to eat! Im sure my husband thinks there is a magic food fairy who designs menus, goes shopping, cooks and serves up food…….
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Yeah, somethin tells me YOU are the magic food fairy! My husband has taken up shopping and cooking duties with my return to work, but it’s still more a favor than an expectation at this point. At least he’s not a picky eater.
Thanks for the follow and the comments today, much appreciated!
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Funny that you should post this today. I just signed up to get food delivered through Home Chef just to try it and because I got a $30 off deal and because the husband can never think of what he wants to eat and because I don’t wanna think about what he wants to eat because I wanna eat different things. (Our kids are out of the house so they aren’t in the equation). We’ll see how this first week goes.
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Oh I do hope you’ll write about your experience. I have read several accounts and would love to read yours.
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Oh, Joey, I’m afraid you can’t shut me up now!
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😀 Good!
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Oh the joys of parenthood I was never exposed to, except when I was a kid and I was the one demanding food. I’m actually pretty happy eating packaged stuff, which Mary appreciates because she just has to toss something in the microwave.
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So nice you and Mary are easy maintenance in the meal category 🙂
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Today’s burden that I plan on pawning off on someone else is planting some annuals in some pots that will then need to put on the deck near the house just in case we get a cold snap. The pawnee will be none other than my husband. He does not know this yet. So what are you having for dinner?
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Excellent plan, Ally Bean. I’m sure he will oblige 🙂
We’re having tacos. On a Monday. Bizarre, but tomorrow is a better day to grill.
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It’s always so much fun reading your mom posts.
I’m not good at helping with meal planning but I’m always willing to eat Mac&cheese, Ramin of leftover anything. I’m also good with crackers cheese and pepperoni or a salad in a pinch. Eggs? Oh my, like I’ve died and gone to heaven. And, since there’s just the two of us, I’ll go anywhere and get anything.
I will show my age and add that when I was growing up, you just ate what was on the table. No Ramin for you.
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Thanks!
The Mister is awfully happy to eat eggs, particularly a fried egg sammich any night of the week, it seems. He’d rather I poke his eye out than serve him ramen. lol
My parents let me eat pbj in lieu of whatever atrocity (THYME CHICKEN) they cooked. You know what they say about missing dinner — breakfast will taste even better 😛
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Sometimes, I skip dinner and stop for breakfast on the way to work 😏
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Hahaha! 🙂
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Pizza and beer, Taco Tuesday (out for Tex-Mex), Spaghetti and wine, Beer and burgers, Beer and something guiltless, like leftover pizza or Italian, how long this ramen been on the shelf? No expire day, how long is the MRE good for? Tomato soup and gilled cheese, side salad. Now I’m hungry. How long ’till we eat? ATM got nuthin’ to push and nobody to push it to.
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MREs are good forever and ever, lol! We had tomato soup and grilled cheese last week 😛 That one is always a hit — orange soup and girl cheese, they say.
I hope you’re well on your way to dinner by now!
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I’m so with you on this one. I always ask for suggestions, but I get nada. I like to cook, but I don’t like *having* to cook. I want to do it when I feel like doing it. Now that my youngest is graduating high school and going away to college, I’ll finally get my wish. On the other hand, I’ll miss the family meals. Of course, I’ll still cook for my husband and me, but I won’t feel as guilty if I decide to pick something up at the market last minute. Soup and salad tonight anyone?…
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That’s nice! Yes, I’m with you, I sometimes really want to cook a thing because I want to eat it. I don’t mind cooking, but these people do not want to eat as I do. It will be more ideal when it’s just us two — but as you say, I know I’ll miss the crowded table 🙂
Soup and salad sounds great!
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Spaghetti is one of those things that if you do it right, it lasts for a week. Next time that’s your only suggestion do it my way, then when they ask tell them it was the only suggestion so that’s all there is this week. If they don’t get the point, threaten them with one big friggin meatloaf for all of next week.
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LMAO! I commend your thoughtful solution! Spaghetti to last a week?!? With teenagers in the house?!? What’s that, 5-6 lbs?!? Sassy could probably eat spaghetti every night without complaint. I could not. The Mister would probably cook himself eggs. lol
I hate meatloaf. They know I won’t make meatloaf. One time when I was pregnant, I ate MIL’s meatloaf and I swear it was nirvana. But then and only then. I only make meatloaf for the boy.
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There are probably alternatives. Either they give ideas or we make the big stew again.
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The big stew! Ahaha! I love it. Imma try this out!
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Good luck.
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I don’t care what we eat, just tell me and I’ll fix it. Actually, the mister probably cooks more than I do, but he always wants me to tell him what, and I tell him I don’t care, just fix something. Why do you always catch me with these kind of posts, when it’s a TV dinner night? Yep – Sweedish meatballs for me again, and I think a beef pot pie for him. But last night I did cook, shrimp, rice, and sugar snap peas. 🙂
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Shrimp and rice and sugar snap peas would be great for The Mister and me! The girls won’t eat shrimp. Enjoy your tv dinner — I’m surprised I didn’t catch you on Mexican night as often as you go!
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Well, I’ll try to enjoy the TV dinner. I just took it out of the oven and dropped it on the floor! It landed right side up, but only a couple of meatballs fell out. 😦 Yeah, we had Mexican for lunch Sat. & Sun. so better wait awhile for any more of that!
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🙂 We haven’t been to our Mexican place in almost a month. We need to rectify that soon!
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OMGosh! I hated, hated, hated Hot Dog night when I was kid. I pleaded, cried, whined, promised to clean anything for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I’d make myself so I wouldn’t have to eat a hot dog!
Always the same ole fight. Dad, “What’s wrong with you? Everyone likes Hot Dogs!”
Me, ” Not everyone, I don’t !”
Dad, “Why not?”
Me, “They taste like hair!”
My Dad then wanted to know when I’d tasted hair, and how could I make such a comparison?
I never got the pb&j sandwich, but never ate the hot dog either. I went to bed hungry and mad.
I still don’t like hot dogs. I was easier on my kids when they didn’t like something, They could have Ramin, cereal, or pb&j if they hated what I made. 🙂
I’ve never liked being the meal planner, buyer, put awayer, cook, and clean upper person.
It’s so much easier now that it’s He-Man and Me. He’s easy, and he does the shopping at Costco! WOO-WHOO!
It means there’s less I need to shop for at the grocery store.
I haven’t been able to put off anything today. 😦
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Yeah, I think a lot of people who grew up with the ‘eat it or starve’ thing chose differently when it came time to parent. Y’ever catch your parents in a situation where they didn’t want to eat something? I don’t see my parents eating sushi or cottage cheese or any number of things they don’t care for and therefore never serve. It’s unfair to say “Everyone likes _______” when there are people who don’t, obviously. I’m sorry you had a hard time with hot dog night. I’m also sorry you had nothing to put off on anyone else.
I HATE THE PLANNING.
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Although I like to cook, I do get tired of it and am sometimes at a loss for ideas or just don’t feel like cooking. My husband would eat burgers for lunch or dinner almost every day, so when I’m at work, he often makes them for his lunch. (He works from home, which is great for him, as work casual has nothing on his working from home casual!) I never wanted burgers for myself because of all the grease, but once I picked up a George Foreman at the thrift store (we gave ours to our younger daughter, I think), it was fine. 🙂 Tonight we had a smoothie followed by cold lamb and a salad. All good.
janet
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Sounds like your husband likes burgers like I like pbj! 🙂
Yeah, I usually love to cook, but when I don’t, I really, really don’t want to cook. NEVER want to sit and imagine what everyone else wants to eat!
A smoothie sounds good! Good weather for smoothies today!
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Don’t hate me cause I love to cook, but I do love cooking. Yesterday I baked bread (a hazelnut cream swirl brioche–so good!), and made soup, and cookies and lentil salad and a pasta sauce. I love to pull together grain salads and homemade bread, roasted veggies and some cheese for protein. My husband might or might not cook meat–he could take or leave it. Food shopping is my favorite–putting recipes together as I go and dumping it in the cart. Oh, God–what is wrong with me? I will cook for you Joey. But you gotta wash the dishes.
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I remember you love to grocery shop! I SO envy you that!
I do enjoy cooking, at least most of the time, and baking is one of the things I love to do when I’m happy. But plan meals for others? NO. Your meals sound lovely for me, but using the tastes and preferences of my family, I can pick it all to pieces, and that’s my issue. It’s them. They’re not even as picky as most kids, but trying to feed them healthy meals is still hard on my imagination.
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You are so good to remember my love of grocery shopping. Yes, I forget about the little rascals. Life is easier when it is just two, but you guys have a whole lotta fun!
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*because as I lay dying, someone will sit at my bedside, take my hand, and say, “Mama, I’m hungry.”*
That’s freaking hilarious.
Spaghetti is a permanent fixture on our menu. It’s one of the few meals we all enjoy. That and breakfast-for-supper.
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Thank you. Yeah, I like spaghetti, but red sauce and I aren’t terribly friendly, so eating it often is not for me. Breakfast is great for all but Moo, because eggs. She has oatmeal while we have eggs.
It’s better for 4 than 6 tho, I’ll say that much! 😛
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Good ramen is good. Suddenly I don’t want to cook any more at all. At all. I am resentful and tired. I don’t want planning, prep, cooking, or cleanup. Tonight the gardener made instant pot Moroccan chicken. I dont see what is instant. I was doing dishes at 9PM. I could have done the same thing in my slow cooker or better yet we could have had a sandwich. Or cereal.
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Oof. I feel that. Resentful and tired. *nod* I don’t really understand instapot. It’s not a pressure cooker, it’s not a crock pot — I don’t have either of those — why do I need one? At least Moroccan chicken in the crock pot would be done when you got home and you wouldn’t be doin dishes at 9. *shrug*
Anyway, I don’t wanna plan it, I don’t wanna shop for it, but I don’t mind to cook it. Most nights.
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I don’t get it either. It is a pressure cooker and more. But I don’t need a pressure poker, and to be frank, I am scared shitless of it. I love my rice cooker instead.
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Cause rice is where it’s at! 🙂
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That is why I like to go out to eat. If Clara would go with I would go out for dinner at least twice a week. I have been planning and cooking too long.
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We usually eat out once a week, although it might be more fair to say we eat out twice in one weekend and then not much. Depends on what’s goin on. I hope Clara will start getting out more 🙂
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Meal planning is one of my least favorite jobs in the world. Cooking…I’m fine with that. Planning…I’d rather not!
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I KNOW. Thanks for the commiseration! 🙂
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I go in spurts on wanting to cook. It does suck that we have to plan the meals. lol I don’t get much input either. Hubby is gone too much to really help. Sad when he is home on the weekend, I’m tired of cooking from the week and want to eat out so then he grumbles because he eats out during the week. LOL I normally give in a cook. Summer is coming and that means lots of late evening outdoor stuff and traveling and there goes the diet! 🙂 I just run out of ideas. The boys are don’t branch out much on what they like. Makes it difficult. So I usually stick to basic meat and side dish. Veggies are always offered, carrot sticks, etc. Pretty simple menu. 🙂
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Yeah, I like to cook plenty, but I don’t wanna plan EVER. Now, if I knew what I planned would be eaten with as much joy as I feel when I eat it… it’d be NICE, but they don’t wanna eat all the things. I think your situation with husband eating out and wanting home cooked food and you wanting to get out is fairly typical for families with the same lifestyle. I can nod through many years of that!
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Thank you, Joey. This post makes me feel so much better. I might be somewhat normal after all.
I hate cooking. I really do … and I wonder every day why that burden has to fall to me. Throw in a special day when the whole clan gathers and I hate it even more.
Love my family. Hate feeding them.
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I like cooking most nights. I NEVER like planning meals for other people. I promise, it’s normal to hate cooking, plenty of people do. I’m glad you liked the post 🙂
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When my kids were little we had a lot of box Mac & Cheese with peas. Ramen with peas is as good as spaghetti.
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This is so sharp. You had me with ‘waiting for mom to cook then remembering you are the mom’. I don’t know how to answer your question but I do know you made my life a littler brighter with this post.
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Aw, thanks! That’s nice! 😀
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I was the only girl with two brothers but thankfully, my Dad knew how to cook, see holes in socks (darn) and other “girly” things. Like a silly girl in love, I met my first husband in college and he seemed liberated. Ha!
Luckily, when wee were divorced I trained my kids how to cook.
So, my comparison to this is I was the Only Holiday Destination once my parents turned 55, our house was the place to go. I have been without a house 12 years, so my youngest married brother’s house is now that hard and challenging place for holidays. Yay!! 🎉🎈✨
My menu as a single Mom was sloppy joes, french toast and eggs, tacos, chicken baked with Italian seasoning, soup and grilled cheeses. . . My menu should have included more greens, more fish but I liked fruit to offer and now love my veggies! 😉 My son and both daughters cook but I head up North to see my Mom and pick her up to spend holiday meals and our contribution is dessert and good tools from a bakery. Easy peasy! Pass the torch in a few years, Joey. It really makes a joyous holiday.
Oh, my kids love ramen noodles and are always busy creating weird uses of them. I like the cold green slaw with ramen though. . .
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Interesting! I don’t hate ramen, but I’d make a pbj any day over ramen!
I don’t mind to cook, but I hate to plan. Hate it. Just hate it so much. This week we had tacos, and the rest of the week has been pretty much stuff on bread. It’s stuff on bread week. Tonight, chili cheese dogs. My husband made most of the suggestions and God love im, he’s out there grillin those weenies!
I hope one of my kids takes to hosting anything, let alone holiday meals 🙂
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This was very funny, Joey!!
Don’t know why your kids don’t list those yummy foods I drooled over for years now that you describe! (?)
substitute words:
see = sew
tools = rolls
Oops, silly spell check!
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Thank you!
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#momlife. YES.
The cooking is the bane of my existence. It’s a combination of “oh, you’re cooking tonight?” and “when’s dinner gonna be ready?” and “but that’s my gaming time” and “ugh, I HATE __.”
Christ on a cracker, I cannot take the cooking cooking cooking.
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Right? We’re having a VERY late dinner, and it’s not because of MY schedule, so when, in the last ten minutes, two people have asked me when it will be ready, the answer is “LONG TIME!”
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