I wasn’t shootin for a Beatles theme this week, but here we are, A Day In The Life — or a week o’ mine.
…
The Mister began, “Taylor Swift passed,”
We all stared at him with wide eyes.
“Wha?!?”
“Whitney Houston in the number of …”
“Oh!”
“Unfortunate pause.”
“Yeah, really not a good place for a comma.”
“Right? I was like, what the hell happened?”
“Killed like Caesar, all her ex-boyfriends took turns stabbing her.”
“Jesus! She’d be minced if that were the case!”
…
My husband brought me a huge bouquet of flowers. Gotta take the lilies out special, cause pets. Lilies shine on their own, too.
Y’all, last Saturday, five of us Motterns went to my office and we hustled files like it ain’t no thang. We boxed and stored and slipped into shred and although we did some sweating, (except Moo, she merely glistens) it was actually fun. The Mister said, “That was so good family time.” I had to agree. I think, sadly, it had been too long since we all worked on one task together. While I had suggested the boy one be paid as he cannot be arsed to work without monetary compensation, we all received overpayment for our services, which tickled the young people senseless. One of my bosses said she would have had to pay professionals more and it would have taken longer. True. Also true? I REALLY wanted it done. (ie, I would have paid Bubba!)
On Sunday night the carpets were cleaned and on Monday I walked into my office of no files looming over my head and I smiled. Briefly. Heh.
…
There comes a time when you have worked and coffeed and you are hangry and you will cut a bitch if you don’t eat your lunch and that time is 3:28pm. So help me, I will answer the phone with a glob of PBJ in my cheek. I do not give a fuck. Bitches gotta eat. Do y’all read her?
…
I forgot Papa’s birthday. He’s 79 now. Seventy-niiiine. And in EXCELLENT health. He forgives me. He’s got love in his heart.
I miss my parents. All of them.
…
Finally one of the sick people came back Wednesday and when I arrived and saw her car I praised the Lord. She’d be all, “Sorry to bother you…” and I’d be all, “No, no, how can I help?” anything for youuu! What she accomplished on Wednesday allowed me to accomplish so much more and the heavens opened up and the angels sang and when I left Wednesday night, my desk was clear.
Then I found out we get a new hire in next week. Sweet relief!
Just like that, all the tension left my body and the anxiety frequency slowed to a hum.
I drove home singing Skunk Anansie like Pavarotti invited me to.
Unfortunately, we decided to eat Taco Hell for the first time in ten years. One half star, Do not recommend. Cherry Pepsi still yum.
…
My new shoes arrived. They’re comfortable. No one cares.
…
Moo announced, “I got good use out of my shaved legs!”
This makes me laugh uproariously still.
“They work whether you shave them or not, right?”
“I wore my shorts!”
Cracks.Me.Up
…
For new adventures in volunteering, The Mister got certified to drive the multi-use bus. The Short Bus. This has provided us tremendous joke opportunities, but this is still my favorite:
“You gotta pick me up.”
“No. Daddy can bring you home on the short bus.”
“No. You gotta pick me up.”
“No. You will ride the short bus with Daddy.
…
My husband filled Blanche up for me.
…
My husband changed his schedule. He goes in later. This makes him a nicer person. In my bed.
…
“Are you coming home now?”
“Yes.”
“Not going to the store?”
“For what?”
“I dunno. Fings we said we needed.”
“Like what?”
“Dog biscuits, trash bags, croutons, somethin else.”
“If you don’t remember, how am I supposed to remember?”
“I dunno. Be a woman. You remember most of it and then you just send your husband back for what you forgot.”
“I see.”
I asked Sassy if she remembered.
“I had to run a 4:30 to get a B. But first, some back story.”
> insert the long tale of a questionable apple and a subsequent rash <
“So did you run a 4:30?”
“No.”
“Oh no, what did you run?”
“3:45.”
…
On Thursday, I didn’t have time to door, but I did make time for ice cream.
Happy Friday Everyone!
joeyfullystated 
In the midst of everything crazy, there has to be room for ice cream. When I go to the store, I’ll ask my wife if she needs anything. She always says yes, but never says what she needs. She says “there must be something” and I usually don’t try to guess.I figure I get credit for asking. At first I thought you were breaking news about Ms Swift, but then I realized Facebook would have exploded, and I had been there earlier.
Have a good Friday and I hope it ushers in a great weekend.
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How long did y’all have to be married to perfect that going-to-the-store system? 😛
It’s gonna be a good weekend, and I hope the same for you!
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Ha ha. We discovered early on that going together is a bad idea. Together, we buy things neither of us would buy on our own.
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That sounds like a great week. It’s been a cool week with lots of rain and clouds. The sun worshipers are depressed. Poor them. They’ve opened flood gates on some dams, so the dried up lakes must be fillin’ back up. Have a wunnerful Friday.
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Poor sun worshipers. Poo. I will have a wunnerful weekend, thank you — and back to you!
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You had a wonderful week. Mine was positively sedentary compared to yours. All I accomplished was cooking some cool stuff and discovered a magnificent torta roll. I just hope it wasn’t a fluke because if I go back and it isn’t the same it will surely break my heart. Good Friday to you too, and my best to your lovely family.
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Monday and Tuesday were hell, fortunately, I arose without permanent damage 🙂
That torta did look good! Best to you!
We should try to get together before the holidays start rollin in!
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Fer sure.
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You look good in green. Shine on, Joey! FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Bless you, Lois, thank you! Friiiiidaaaaay! 😀
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Sounds like a great week. I’m hoping to get a break around the office soon. It looks like I’m going to have to be the one to get it done though. Normal situation, but maybe November will have some calm.
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I sure hope you get some sweet relief soon. “Do the work of three people for two weeks?” “Well, okay, but umm…” — turnin into the red stapler guy! lol Don’t be the red stapler guy!
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I’m exhausted from reading this, but I bet you’re stress reduced this weekend. 🙂 The grocery list or lack of made me smile. I wasn’t here when my husband unloaded his grocery pickup so when I went two days later in my head we were still needing coffee. Now I have a shelf full of coffee. Good thing we drink a lot of it. 🙂 Happy weekend.
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Oh my goodness, that coffee thing is real, lol! We tend to do that with butter and eggs. We get to where I’m like, “Don’t anyone let me buy butter til Christmas!” and “Lawd, I need to make egg salad, and a frittata…” P
Happy weekend, Judy!
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This post made me smile. All of it but the highlights are:
Happy 79th birthday to Papa !! 🎉🎉
“Bitch gotta eat”
And re: comfy shoes I CARE 😂
Wishing you a wonderful weekend!
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Thank you!
You do care about my new comfy shoes? Thank you! SO last winter, I bought some blue suede oxfords and I just loved them so much I decided this year, I’d buy more of them. Well, they come in a lot of colors, but boring colors, so I bought Buff ones and guess what? I LOVE THEM, TOO! 😀
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Yay to new comfy buff colored shoes!!
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YAY!
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Hubby bought you flowers…he’s a keeper!! Kids helped out at the office – keep them too!!!😆 Life is good! Happy Friday 🤗
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I felt the love, I really did 😀 Thank you! Have a great weekend, Sue!
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Of all the topics in this post the one that resonated with me the most is the fact that your husband gassed your car for you. That is what I call true love. Nothing better than to get into your vehicle and find that the tank has miraculously been filled. Good man you married there.
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He is so good to me. So good 😀
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I got an offspring who thinks Taco Hell is the bees knees. I’m with you…would rather eat packing peanuts.
Made it through another week!
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Right? Ugh. Have a good weekend 🙂
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Lovely picture of your dad! Doesn’t look nearly that old. Nothing like shaved legs, ice cream and taco hell to keep a week lively. Happy weekend!
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Always must make time for ice cream. It’s the law.
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Lordy I need a good sit-down and a few deep breaths after reading this. Glad you found time to slow down and enjoy ice cream though, ’cause priorities 🙂
We don’t have Taco Hell here in Quebec…I’ve tried it elsewhere though. I think your half star rating is generous: “ewww” with a serious scrunchy face and a quick head-shake and shudder for emphasis.
And a Happy Birthday to Dad too.
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Haha! That half star was for the Cherry Pepsi, Norm! 😀
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Your family makes me laugh so hard. I wanna start saying, “I don’t remember because it didn’t matter to me” to people.
Glad things went better after Tuesday!
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We DO keep it real. Thank you!
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Your eyes match your sweater so well. Happy 79th and Yay for good health – was in the ER last night with my 95 year old mom. She’s okay but…scary. Ice cream is good and so is PB&J make mine blackberry jam please. Have a terrific weekend!
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Thank you, you too. I am so glad your mom is okay!
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You had one heck of a week, Joey. Congrats on the family accomplishment at the office. Sweet that is!
I’m getting ready to meet the kids at our Triple-A baseball team’s “garage sale” because this week they changed the name from the Chiefs to the Mets. This should be interesting. My daughter says they’re going to sell the turnstiles. I don’t know what that has to do with the name change, but I can’t figure out any need for a turnstile at the house anyway. Maybe I’ll buy a shirt or cap with the old name on it for posterity or maybe not, being sensitive to the Native American side of the team name matter. I do want to see what a sports team garage sale looks like though.
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Given how I plan my wardrobe around my shaved legs 😀 Moo has a point. Loved reading tidbits of your family… Happy Birthday to your Papa!
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Cute! Thanks!
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Sounds like lots of good stuff happening in your neck of the woods. Makes me happy to read. Hope Saturday was good for you and Sunday even better! I worked yesterday, today, and will work tomorrow afternoon/evening, so the weekend time-off-part is kind of missing. But that’s OK. I’m raking in the money. Not. 🙂
janet
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Saturday was okay. Sadly, tomorrow we will be going to a showing out of town and I will tackle the store
You gotta make the most of those days off in the middle of the week. That’s how I did. So nice to go do things when other people are at work and not at the places 🙂
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I do like having days off when lots of other people are working. Next weekend, with one shift trade and an unscheduled day, I have BOTH Sat. & Sun. off!! Unheard of! I will enjoy!!
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I HOPE IT IS SUBLIME! 😀
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Oh, it will be. 🙂
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loved the taco hell- also
smooth use of gifs, images and the ending Skunk Anansie video –
all masterful….you are funny
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Fanks, Y 🙂
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🙂
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Happy Sunday Joey! A couple of quick comments here: 1) YAY for the new hired help and a clean desk! YAY! 2) The last time I ate at Taco Hell, they gave me the gift of food poisoning. So, no Taco Hell. Not ever.
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OH MY GOODNESS! I’m so sorry that happened to you! Ten years was apparently not long enough for us. Last week we decided never was a long enough time.
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Although I’m reading your Happy Friday on a Monday, it all sounds good and I’m sure you had a good weekend because of it. Especially the ice cream. Ice cream is always good.
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Ice cream is LIFE. 😛
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Sounds like a busy…but productive!…time! I’m trying to remember how I’ve filled my time because my days seem to keep flying by. I have forced a stopping point each day for a walk in the woods to enjoy the fall colors. I haven’t timed it for good lighting…yet. So up until now, I’ve just enjoyed it and shared a few snaps on my Instagram stories. The question of shaved legs is one of the things I loved about cold weather. Did I shave my legs or didn’t I? Nobody knows! 🙂
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Hah! Fair enough. I have to shave all the time, at least every other day, otherwise I itch. I can’t bear it, so I’ll envy you your mystery legs 😉
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