User Error?

It’s Tuesday, let’s bitch!

Let’s start with how my shift key on the left keeps going out. ya know, typin along and then i wanna capitalize and i can’t do it naturally because the left one just poops out now and again, and when i get mad about it, i can’t even use an exclamation mark to show my distress111 without stopping and pushing the right shift key like some kinda child typist!!! So I gotta push the shift key on the right, or no caps for me, and no symbols, and not a lot of punctuation.

It comes and goes all the time. it’s completely inconsistent and it annoys me somethin terrible.

vSometimes it does this. vLast time it did this, vI ended up doing a reset and lost all my bookmarks and so many passwords vI almost lost my mind as well. vIt’s not always a V, sometimes it’s an R or trrwrrorr.

vSee how much you appreciate my efforts?!?vRr

vSome of you may have noticed vI have on occasion abandoned my shift key altogether because i get flustered and i just cannot be bothered to type and then backspace or arrow and delete and the other option is CAPS LOCK111 WHICH I FIND UNBEARABLE FOR LONG STRETCHES OF TIME WITHOUT EMPHASIS BECAUSE THIS IS NOT THE YELLING BLOG, k?1? mostly not, k?

vI wanna buy a new laptop, but I don’t want to do the whole set up thing and the moving of pictures and I just keep hoping it goes away, because sometimes it does.

Technology-is-hard--meme-45362

 

And now, Blanche:

I’m really bad at controlling my power windows. I’d like you to know that I don’t even want power windows in my car. I still want a key, too. I am not ginger enough with my power windows and it’s a constant battle for me to get the wind control right. Blanche has an all-or-nothing attitude about her windows, okay? Moo and The Mister have teased me about my comical up, down, up, down routine and when I brought it up to Sassy, she said, “You do really struggle with that, now that you mention it.” I so do. Further, there’s something wrong with me and I keep rolling down the window behind me. I’m special.

Blanche has Apple Car Play and Bluetooth and she plays songs all the livelong day. She starts when I start my car in the morning, and often my phone is still in the house, where I am alerted to Apple’s concern for me trying to stop the music or send a text when my eyes should be on the road, which has them sending me SAFE DRIVING warning displays and I’m all, “I’m in my fuckin kitchen!”

Further, I have something like three days of music on my phone and apparently, Blanche has favorites, so who cares what I want to listen to? She likes Coldplay and U2 alawt, okay? She also leans toward Vivaldi’s Adagio for Strings, Feliz Navidad, and Eleanor Rigby. I swear to you, for three days straight, I got in my car to go home and she had Eleanor Rigby on tap so that’s not exactly random, now is it? Don’t even get me started on disappearing and reappearing song choices while I drive. Apple be all, “Ooopsies!” and that is not okay.

radio-dj-meme

There is no temperature gauge on my dash. Being born and bred here in the midwest, I am highly dependent on my temperature gauge. Ya gotta know when the car is warm enough to crank the heat. I am upset with this and all I can think is, well that’ll be one nice thing about summer. It’s a short list, but it matters. I guess if my car is about to explode of fire, it may trigger a warning light on my dash, and maybe unlike the low tire/ice cream cone icon, I will recognize it for what it is.

And now, my phone:

I haven’t mastered the volume on my phone. Here’s the thing: I want my phone to do what I want, but without me telling it to do it, which I realize is in sharp contrast to all the opinions I hold about unhelpful meddling map apps and assorted other ways our data is used to ‘assist’ us in madness. I want my phone to be quiet at work. I don’t want to hear the pinging or vibrating of the Fam Chat all day. I think Sassy has study hall when The Mister’s on lunch. Have you ever tried to work while your phone vibrates all over your desk? I silence it and then miss texts from people I work with, sometimes my bosses, and that’s no good. Get an email from your boss, “Did you see my text?v” Oh shit! Sometimes I leave it on and then I have to stop working to take a call from Ashley the robot who wants to talk to me about my Mastercard account and I don’t have a Mastercard account. And then? Why can’t the alarm be really loud, the ringer be quiet, and the apps be silent? Why doesn’t technology understand my subtle needs?!?

vnyC0mf

Photo App:

Fuck you, Photo App. Why I gotta ask you to look and look and look for the pictures? It’s your job. Import is not a suggestion, it’s your actual function. SOMETIMES I GET SCREAMY!

Go online:

Go online to order delivery or carry-out, they say. Not one time in all the many years I have used a phone to call and place and order for food with a human being, have I ever not received my food, but the online food ordering has failed me no fewer than five times in the last coupla years. Also, NOTΒ faster. AND SOMETIMES I AM HANGRY!

fb0e83d80877acf9b51e388856a6e40e

 

And the motherfucking piece of shit Amazon stick in our bedroom:

I swear to gravy, every fucking night, and alllllways on Sunday, it cannot connect to the blasted internet or it’s connected with problems, meanwhile, the one in the living room works just fucking fine and every other device in the same goddamn bedroom works just fucking fine on the same bloody signal and I GET VERY TIRED AND I JUST NEED MY OLD SIT-COMS TO PUT ME TO SLEEP THE WAY THE GOOD LORD INTENDED!

The-Advantage-Of-Technology

Ugh. I feel better. Your turn. Bitch at me.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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70 Responses to User Error?

  1. Ally Bean says:

    Nicely vented, well bitched.

    I want a new desktop computer, but have been putting it off for the same reasons you have put off getting a new one. My shift key still works, but it takes about 72 minutes for each new page to appear on my screen. No sense of urgency, this current machine.

    I have a car with a key, so old that it has no ability to play any music that does not come from its AM/FM radio. I like my retro-ness, and reading about your problems with Blanche I feel good about Olivia, the old girl.

    I know nothing about photo apps, don’t go online to order food, and we have nothing Amazon-y techie in our house, so good luck with that stuff. All-in-all today finds me in a bitch-free state of mind. But thanks for sharing yours.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      slow loading will kill me. i am sorry for your suffering.
      i would die if i had to listen to the radio only. i would die. however, i envy your key.
      i am glad this rant left you feeling good about retro πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan Antion says:

    This is probably one of those times when I’m going to offer a solution that you weren’t looking for, but it’s what I do. It’s not just the “solving problems women aren’t trying to solve” thing, it’s also actually what I do for a living (well, a small part). Anyway. laptop keyboards are very easy to replace and you can find them online (yes, it will work) in a bunch of places. Just make sure you have the whole-big-long-model-number and the serial number and the product number and any other numbers on the laptop. Replacing it is likely fiddling with two screws and one wire-connector-thingie.

    Now, if this post was your way of getting The Mister to buy you a new laptop for Christmas, just delete this comment – I wojn’t be offended.

    All that said, I love reading your rants and I want a key in my next car (which I won’t get) and a CD player (which I probably won’t get) and I don’t care about power windows BUT I MISS VENT WINDOWS!

    I hope this Tuesday is better than its predecessors.

    Liked by 4 people

    • marianallen says:

      Vent windows! We called them wings, and I MISS THEM, TOO! Talk about perfect wind control! And I want windows I “have to” use a crank handle to roll up and down, PLUS power in case I have to roll down one I can’t reach. So, no such thing. But VENT WINDOWS!!!

      Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      i think i will try an external keyboard and if that resolves the issue i may have mine replaced. orrrr, maybe i ask the boy to do it this weekend. he’s like you. i do appreciate your knowing and sharing to me that it’s simpler than i’d think.
      i miss my cd player, too. 😦

      Like

  3. orbthefirst says:

    OMG. We should be twinses or someshit. My left shift has gone to shit too, AND the letter “T” for some reason needs to be pounded on. I should clean my keycaps see if that fixes it…if I knew where my keycap puller was…Im too lazy to do it by hand.
    And Ive been working off of straight wifi for what seems like forever now. How do people live like this? Im about ready to start blowing in my ethernet port to see if it goes any faster..
    Ive also been eyeballing new lappys. Problem is, if I want even close to the specs I got now, things start at around $2K. So no new lappy.
    ALSO, the window on the passenger side of mas car doesnt roll down. Ever. I dont think it ever did, tbh. Ma says the motors shot, but hasnt gotten it fixed. I will grow old and die, and that window still wont move.

    Anyway. I hope you have a good day. Im sitting around till my nurse comes and Im going back to bed. Nothing planned I wanna do this week so I might as well try to sleep. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      i bet you can fix your T. *nods*
      when i was a kid, i had a nightmare that my parents wouldn’t roll down the car windows and i couldn’t breathe, and i was crying and begging them, but they wouldn’t. when i woke up i was suffocating myself in my pillow. i was afraid to sleep for weeks. i’ll never forget that, and i think it has a lot to do with needing fresh air control. this being said, i’m sorry about ma’s passenger window.
      i hope you got good sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I feel your pain. Ethel has no temperature gauge either… and I live in Maine! Temperature fluctuations can be life threatening here folks. I too am spastic when it comes to power windows… up, down, up, up a little more, wait.. too much, down, repeat until you want to scream. As for Alexa and all those home monitoring systems. Nope. Nope. Nope. I know they’re storing data for a major YouTube dump one day. Be warned.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have the exact same window rolling problem as you do. It seems to be all or nothing. I could happily go back to a regular key, wing windows, floor vents, and a dimmer switch on the floorboards. My newest gripe is the station I have to log into so I can get a haircut… with humans standing right there to tell me how to do it. Why don’t they just do it?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bill says:

    ’tis Tuesday, is it? Letters that will not type unless I hit hard and the people who ask why I type ‘loud.’ I have a manual typewriter for loud. Wife’s phone pings and dings and ‘probably scam’ calls all night long. She asks me why I keep my ringer set to off.
    And there is GM, who sends an electronic map update that fucks up my car’s system and then wants to charge me to … hey … now I know who the ‘probable scam’ is that keeps calling at night. Deep sigh. Now I feel mo’ betta’ too. Thanks, Joie. Have a much better than normal Tuesday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Map apps are heaven or hell. There is no purgatory for map apps.
      Tuesday sucked, Bill, that’s its job. HOWEVER, there was cake in the office, Sassy beat her own records and won two heats, and we ate takeout, so you know, coulda been worse.
      Thank you!
      Joie. I’m keeping that, just so you know. My French likes it. ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  7. John Holton says:

    A lot of new laptops have a way to get your stuff off the old laptop onto the new one. The key problem might be fixed by getting a new keyboard for it, though that takes a trip to the Geek Squad or other computer repair place to get installed if you aren’t comfortable doing it yourself (like me).

    Thanks for the heads-up on the Fire Stick. We’re getting close to needing a new TV, and have talked smart TV, so you’ve convinced me to go with Roku…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I highly recommend the Amazon Fire, but not the stick. The Fire works great. Roku, I’ve no experience with. We’re Amazon Prime from way back, so it wasn’t a choice in our eyes.

      Like

  8. Tara says:

    I’m consistently confused by the USB that won’t work rightside up, then rightside down, then all of a sudden works rightside up. I think they’re just testing me. So far, I’ve passed. I WILL NOT LET THEM DEFEAT ME.

    I’m not a fan of power windows. I like my roll down windows, which I haven’t had, of course, since the last century as I keep buying new cars. I still do the roll down the window motion, because holding down an imaginary button to get people do to so is STUPID.

    Oh, Joey. Sorry for the pain of this century. You are not alone…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. atticsister says:

    Great Tuesday Tirade…we all have glitches but girl you are a hot mess. Glad you got that off your chest. Hope your week goes better.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m laughing in sympathy/empathy/and any other -pathy you can think of!! My husband, a tech guy, thinks I need a new laptop, so if Costco isn’t out of the “on sale” ones we want on Friday, I’ll have one. Then all the transferring fun begins. 😦 How have we stayed married through all the tech issues???

    My Sienna van unlocks from the key fob, but I prefer to unlock it manually, thus saving the juice on the expensive-to-replace battery in the fob. But for some unknown Japanese reason, they don’t have a lock on the passenger’s side anymore, so said fob must be used unless I want to go to the driver’s side first, which I don’t.

    I also love when, as just happened, I have a lengthy comment in progress and I hit some unknown key and most or all of the comment deletes. Grrrrrrr!! One of the things I don’t like about the new phones is that we’re expected to be in constant contact, checking for texts and emails all the time. “I sent you a text five seconds ago. Didn’t you see it?” And I have to admit I sometimes fall into that as well. Why aren’t they getting back to me?

    All right, that’s enough. I have to leave for work in a little over half an hour and I have other posts to read. Hopefully writing the post worked off some of that irritation, but I’m with Dan. Buy a new keyboard (unless yours is attached, as is mine.) Your sanity is worth it and I’m sure the Mister would agree.

    Happy Tuesday?

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I hear you. Technology is not for the faint-hearted. Personally, I like power windows in my car because it’s too hard to reach over and crank down the passenger side window, especially if the car is in motion. But I seldom open the windows anyway because I use the climate control. Hubby prefers open windows, but he has his own vehicle so as long as he leaves mine alone, that’s ok with me.

    My desktop computer has been gasping its last breaths for awhile now, but I’m reluctant to get a new one. The last time, it took me a full two weeks to re-download all my videogames! Never mind the struggle to set the cords up – crawling under and behind that humungous credenza/desk; if it ever fell on me, it would be all over. And I don’t do crawling well these days – the leg cramps were unbearable.

    As for the phone – I still have a basic flip phone, and I’m content with that. It does what I need it to do – call/text/photos. I hear too many people complaining about how hard their smartphones are to use, and I have no interest in adding grief to my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Okay, today is my birthday, and we’re having a blizzard. Does that seem right? I’ve been out once to shovel and will have to go probably two more times before it finishes. Insert four letter word here. πŸ™‚ The N on my keyboard is worn off. It still works, but I look at it and wonder why the N. Do you ever type words that spell/grammar check thinks they know better about? My husband is from a town named Gorham. When I type Gorham in an email, it changes it to Gotham. I think I’d know if he was from Gotham. πŸ™‚ The radio in my fancy, computer driven car does not have an on/off button. The best I can do is mute it, but I can’t get it off the screen. I’ve gone back to the dealer and two guys tried and just shook their head. I just want a simple on/off button. If I could order crank windows in a car, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I have a little hometown computer store nearby, and if my shift key stops working, I’ll be visiting them and asking to order a new keyboard and have it switched out like Dan said. Hope hubby is meeting you for a drink on the way home. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Yes, my A, S, and D are all wiped off. C and E are in bad shape. You’d think I typed “cased” 100 times a day the last three years, but no.
      I wish you a very happy birthday tomorrow, since you clearly didn’t have one today. Sorry about yer shoveling. :/ Again it snowed here today, but did not stick.
      My radio never shuts off, either!!! Mute is all I got! Sometimes when I drive at night, I am supremely irritated by the display and wish I could shut it off. I’m with you!
      No drinks tonight. Worked past 6, then cheered my kid til after 9.
      I agree, you’d know if your husband was from Gotham! πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Benson says:

    What a nice little vent. I understand your frustration. I do not like machines that don’t perform the way they should. Personally I like power windows and the little remote door lock. As for bitching I can’t think of anything to bitch about. Of course a big mug of Egg Nog might have adjusted my attitude a bit. I love Egg Nog. I hope you have a Happy Week.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. scr4pl80 says:

    I hope you feel better now after getting that all out and from reading all the comments from people who totally get what you are talking about. I am frustrated with the way the phone chooses the same few songs over and over even though I, too, have a few days worth of songs to pick from. Sometimes I go and set it up to play the songs in alphabetical order and then I get a better mix rather than letting the tunes shuffle. I am still in love with Moonglow and I don’t usually open the windows when I drive because I have a moon/sun roof and if I want the fresh air that’s how I get it. Plus, it is getting colder now and she has the seats that warm so…We did have to replace the battery on the fob but it was a cheap one from Walgreens. As for the sticking key, did you try lifting it up and cleaning under it? Maybe there is a particle of some kind that is in there making it behave badly. Typing for a living as I do, I could not handle having a misbehaving keyboard.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      i plan to ask my son to investigate the keyboard issue when he gets into town. it’s maddening. truly. you VNever know what you’re gonna get with the keys acting craszy. See what I mean?

      Liked by 1 person

  15. marianallen says:

    So I went to the post office to return-mail something and they said, “This is a UPS package. We don’t do UPS.” And I was all, “It’s just one little letter difference…” But no. They said, “There’s a UPS drop-off at Blah Blah Bank.” I’m like, “I never heard of Blah Blah Bank.” (This town is virtually the size of a postage stamp.) (I was at the PO. See what I did? Ha ha!) ANYWAY, they said, “It’s right next to the jail.” Oh, yeah! The bank that saves everybody time by being right next to the jail. So I went and I went in, and there was a LINE and no UPS drop-off in sight. But I finally got to ask somebody, and she said, “Oh, it’s outside in back of the building.” And it was. ON THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THE CAR. So I hadda get out in the blowing freezing cold wind boo-hoo First World Problems. And now I’m home and toasty warm and my package is mailed. I love a happy ending.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      ON THE PASSENGER SIDE OF THE CAR?!? Who designed that bullshit? There’s a mailbox in a local business park that is on the wrong side of the street, so taking a box of mail to the box at 5:00, crossing the street when everyone was trying to commute their asses home was always perilous. I am so sorry you had this unfortunate experience just because of one letter. Glad you got home and toasty πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  16. JT Twissel says:

    I don’t like power windows or setting up a new computer either. It used to be a whole lot harder though.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Luanne says:

    You are in bad shape. I feel for you. But my mind is still on the first problem. The laptop. What a keyboard hooked to the laptop solve the problem for now or is it the computer and not the keyboard?

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I dunno. Imma ask the boy to check it out when he’s here. I have considered the external keyboard as an investigative tool, see if it’s rEally 9yes rEally0 the keyboard or if it’s a problem deep inside my lappy. 😦

      Like

  18. The sad part about me is that ALL CAPS is a typing mistake, not a keyboard problem.

    For the rest of your rant, CARRY ON! I can’t do you any better, and you have got it, lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. ghostmmnc says:

    Well, good grief!
    Knock wood our PC holds up awhile longer. Just had it tuned up a short while ago.
    Our pick-up is old school, with crank handle windows, AmFm radio & cassette player (which we don’t use), but ‘ol Big Blue still runs okay.
    Love reading your rants, but I know it is so frustrating dealing with misbehaving technology.
    Hope you can get some of that resolved pretty soon. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I think it’s the car and not you regarding the electric windows. I have the same problem with Pearl, but I never have a problem rolling the window down right where I want it on Va-Va, never had a problem with my Civic, or Stupid and dependable Voyager either. I blame the car.

    I somehow lost almost all my music on my iPhone with an update. It didn’t transfer and I haven’t messed with since. I hate updating iTunes and syncing my phone. SOMETHING ALWAYS SCREWS UP AND GET HOSED!

    The messed key would drive me insane and I’d get a new keyboard. I had that issue on a work laptop years ago and got a trade-in. I was so happy about that! I hope yours works its way to normal soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I would like to blame the car, but no one else in my family is struggling with the window situation. Still, it seems we’re in good company with the post’s commenters.
      I went out tonight, with the boy one, and got a new keyboard. I’m using it now to type this to you and I’ve no trouble, so I suppose I will order a new one and install it. πŸ™‚
      One of the reasons I don’t frequently buy music is that I don’t have 20 years every day to wait for the MFCSPOS Apple updates. So, I hoard a list of songs I want, suck it up, do the download, and then buy new tunes. It’s been a long time since I did a back-up on my purchases, too, which is not good. But oy, the time!

      Like

  21. markbialczak says:

    I am so with you, Joey. Technology is not always my friend, either. Just because you can change something doesn’t mean you should, inventors!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Amy says:

    I have had computers that have decided that a certain key should type something other than what they are (or not type anything at all). Very frustrating indeed!!
    My Jeep has a key, but the hubby’s vehicle does not. Then I’m hunting through my bag for the key to lock the car door or getting out and leaving the key sitting in the console. Much more time consuming than just pulling it out of the ignition. Also, apparently when you press the button to turn off the music (or news as is often the case in his car and why I immediately shut it off), it only puts it on “mute” so the next time I turn on the car, it pops back on. I’ve learned to quickly change it to a preferable station!
    My phone and laptop of linked. The phone ringing and texts coming through are very annoying, but when I unlink them, I miss important stuff… blah!
    Hope your Wednesday is going well!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Laura says:

    This is all the laughs I needed this morning as I sit here with more color on my hair wondering WHY OH WHY she didn’t do the prep BEFORE changing my color because now I have weird streaks and β€œsure, I’ve got time to fix this” but in a fuck NO I don’t have time to sit here another 45 minutes but the alternative is having a dozen people to my house tomorrow & explaining these crazy streaks all day long sort of way.
    SWEET JESUS ALL I WANTED WAS A DEEPER BROWN.
    The struggle is real.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Damn. I’m sure you’re all pretty now, no streaks.
      Earlier this year, my highlights didn’t take right and she had to redo it. Four hours of hair. Four. Apparently sometimes these things happen. (Or so I was told.)

      Like

  24. Um, Joey, where do I start? How about this? Glad you got all this shit off your chest and hope you are definitely feeling better. If I started on my woes I would never end SO I’ll skip those and go right to … I will just say hopefully what Dan suggested works or the Mister gets a hint that Santa’s day is coming and perhaps a new laptop too. Passwords …. That right there would have caused me to have a stroke. Yee-Gads! I do have an Apple puter which in the preferences allows me to store my passwords in a locked “vault”. But if I forget my initial password to get into my puter, I’m you know what. Starts with F. LOL Happy Thanksgiving!!! BIG (((HUGS))) comin’ flyin’ yur way!!! XOXOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thank you for the BIG HUGS πŸ™‚ Back atcha! I went out and bought a new keyboard and it seems to have fixed the issue, so I will order a permanent one to insert in my lappy. I’m so pleased!
      The Mister would be fine with me getting a new laptop, it’s me who doesn’t wanna start from scratch again.
      Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Much love upon your heart and home, Amy ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • Very cool, Joey. I cannot blame you for not wanting to start from scratch. That is why I hang on to the devices I have. We recently deleted all wireless in this house, going hardwire ethernet, and hubby has to do something called rooting to my phone so that I can get online. IF it is a real hassle, I will buy the latest Samsung that to be truthful with you I’ve had my eyes on. That one can be hooked to hardwire ethernet right away, no problem. I use my phone all the time for WP and of course camera. So we’ll see. Much LOVE to you!!! 😘😘😘

        Like

  25. Nancy says:

    Dang! That was a really good rant! Technology’s not my friend either and my “y” key randomly doubles itself. I also prefer to roll my window down and start my car with an actual key. Otherwise I’m good.😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Sorry about your Y. I went and got an external keyboard dooji and it seems to work just fine. So for now, it’s okay.
      Nice to see you πŸ™‚ I hope you and yours have a lovely Thanksgiving!

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Well, THIS made for a tasty Thanksgiving read. I hope your holiday is warm and safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Joanne Sisco says:

    Sometimes I think that all the technology which now surrounds us has a secret objective to drive us all slowly insane.

    … and the USB cable? YES! Why does it ALWAYS take at least 3 attempts?!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Anxious Mom says:

    We have that problem with the Firestick in our bedroom. And the damn router is in the same bedroom. The Firestick in the living room is a bit further away and has a wall separating it, but no issues.

    You should start a blog thing, “Joey’s Bitchy Tuesdays,” like the SoCS and all that.

    Liked by 1 person

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