The other day, I was behind a big black SUV at the stoplight, and I noticed the driver stuck an I Heart Guns bumper sticker on it and it made me wonder what do I Heart enough to advertise it on my vehicle?
Truth: I own ONE bumper sticker. It’s this:
I’ve had it more than twenty years, never actually put it on a car. That’s like six different stories and they’re more like drinkin-on-the-porch stories, not blog stories, so you’ll not read those here.
For a long time, I had an alumni bumper sticker on my car. I almost got an alumni license plate, but ultimately I chose the Marine Corps plate, because I believe it’s an advantageous sorta license plate, whereas the alumni plate might, at best, have people rolling down their windows and shouting “Chirp Chirp!” at me.
When you finish college, there’s this sorta overwhelming need to let everyone know you’re done with that now. The newness wears off and people ask terrible questions like, “When ya gonna go to grad school?”
But Hearting things.
Hmm.
I see this stuff all the time. You do too, I bet.
I Heart My Wife, My Husband, My Dog, My Cat, My Kid. well good, ya should. To me, if you’re puttin it out there on your car, you’re like, “This is what you need to know about me, Total Stranger In Traffic: I Heart Guns.”
I couldn’t do that one. I don’t Heart Guns. I’m ambivalent at best. Recoil very bang.
But what DO I Heart? And better, do I Heart anything so significantly interesting and unique that I want everyone to know this about me, like an ad for me, before I even step out of my car?
I don’t.
I Heart my blog. I Heart sleeping in. I Heart yellow. I Heart ice cream, quilts, baths, Coca-fucking-Cola. I Heart precipitation, no, wait, not hail. I Heart doors. I Heart Batman. I Heart cardigans. I Heart a lot of things. I do. I just don’t know at what level I would need to Heart something to advertise it.
Gun to my head, if I had to choose a Heart for Blanche, I’d probably choose I Heart My Solitude or I Heart Singing In My Car or I Heart Arriving Safely.
What do y’all Heart?
HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!
I share your sentiment. I don’t wish to advertise myself in any way via the vehicle I drive. In fact I even cringe a little when I drive Husband’s vehicle with the bike racks on top.
What do I heart enough to bumper stick it on my car? Maybe simply “I ❤️” … translation, I care.
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That’s a great idea!
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I heart a lot of stuff. Most are rated G too, I am like you though. I can not think of anything I would want to advertise. Maybe I’ll just get a sticker that says I Heart Me. That should give folks something to ponder. Happy Friday
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I bet people would drive by and stare, like Why do you heart you? What’s so great about you? LOL People.
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I could see the Coca-cola follks paying you to put that on a bumper sticker. I have a Steelers logo and a WVU Alumni logo on my back window – but it’s more for when I drive to Pittsburgh. I don’t want people seeing CT plates and thinking I’m a UConn or NE fan. Nothing so strong that I’d stick it next to a heart. I have ‘I heart…’ bumper stickers for ‘My Irish Setter’ ‘Chocolate’ and ‘Bacon’ – but they’re all inside the house.
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Apparently you and I are people who buy bumper stickers and put them anywhere but a bumper, hm? I find it endearing that you have a priority over where you’ve been in comparison to where you are. I really like that.
I think the Coca-Cola people should buy me a Coke car. I’d drive it.
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They should. Red with a curvy white racing stripe.
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I’m not a bumper sticker girl either, matter of fact I’ve never put one on my car, ever. And if I started hearting things? I wouldn’t be able to see out the back window. Besides, that guy tailgating me… the one with the blue lights on top of his car…. doesn’t need to know I like tequila. Nope. Some hearts are better kept to yourself.
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Yep. You wouldn’t wanna make yourself a target! Also? Fine sipping tequila mmm 😛
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We have one about bulldogs on our camper. Both of our cars are clean of such things.
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Since campers are recreational vehicles, they should exhibit more personality, don’tcha think?
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Good point.
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I heart my wife, my daughter, my dog, my family, my college, my teams, good humor. Not on bumper stickers with hearts on them, though … Happy Friday, Joey!
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All good things!
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Ya know….I am such a private person, I just could not put one of those ‘heart’ things on my car. Telling people waaaay more than I care for them to know. Well, I’m pretty minimalist, too, so that sticker on my car…..no. Happy Friday, Joey!
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Yes. I agree. How much do you have to heart something to announce it everywhere you go?
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“I ❤ long walks through dimly lit forests"
or
"I ❤ the all encompassing embrace of oblivion"
or
"I ❤ cats"
Or somesuch. Id just get weird with it. You know. Lol
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I support all these hearts and would wear them on tees. But not on my car.
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I ❤️ a sticker-free car!
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Me too, Maggie, thanks!
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I do not normally put stickers on my cars (or my scooter). But, the lady I live with is very pollical. I had yard signs and two stickers on my car window until the election was over. Then I removed them, as directed. I put two ‘I voted early’ stickers on the yard signs cuz we did.
I am usually very selective/careful with the words love and hate, avoiding the latter when I can. I do own a baseball cap that says ‘I heart NY’ because I could not find such a cap when I visited the state (ordered on line). When asked if I’m from NY, I respond ‘No New Yorker would wear a cap like this. They are illegal there. But, I heart the state.’ Other things? Rain, good beer, pizza, bacon, my kids, their kids, starry nights, my music, time alone, mornings, writing (mine, yours, theirs), smiles, and the way my brain works when I make a list such as this. Thanks, Joey. Have a marvelous weekend.
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It really is nice to think about all the things we heart, and yours is a good list!
Best you let Political Lady have her way!
I have that every time I wear anything from someplace. You from Maine? You from Virginia? It makes me wonder if other people don’t understand souvenir apparel.
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Vancouver, BC. I visited, bought the tee. But if they’d have me, I might consider it.
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Right? I’ve never been but the pictures are UH-Mazing! 😀 (not enough winter, but I wanna visit fersure!)
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I ❤️ many people and things, but do not want to indicate what those people and things might be by putting them on my vehicle. I’d rather be a suburban woman of mystery. An enigma, so to speak. ☺️
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Excellent! *Sings “Who’s That Girl?”*
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I heart people who don’t heart putting their hearts on the back of their cars next to their stick people families and pronouncements about their honor school students.
🙂
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ME TOO! Haha! Great comment!
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Fenks. *bows*
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And thanks for doing the subscribe to email so you’ll appear on my radar 😀
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I ❤️ indy coffee shops, warm wool socks, snow days, heat waves, wireless bras (or better yet no bra at all), a gut shaking laugh, a cathartic fart (imagine that on a bumper sticker), music that makes my bootie boogie…. none of which is suitable for the butt end of my car. I also ❤️your posts!
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Haha! Cathartic farts, FTW! Thanks, Susanne!
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I Heart lots of things, but nothing I feel the need to advertise on my car… Right now I Heart the fresh white snow and the blue sky ❤ Have a great Friday Joey! 🙂
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Mmm, nice. I’ll agree to hearting that!
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I don’t messy up my car with stickers either but I do have a Sonoma State Mom on my license plate holder. I don’t have to answer the grad school questions because I’m just the mom – LOL. I like the I heart singing in the car one for sure.
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Hah! License plate holders are different — unless they say I Heart… 😛
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Guess we need to change the expression “wear your heart on your sleeve”…
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Valid. Funny. Good.
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I heart nuts! All kinds of nuts. Salty, roasted nuts and delightfully wacky human nuts!
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😀
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Not a bumper sticker type either. Strangers want to know what I like? Then they’ll have to invest some time to get to know me.
I can see the Marines plate coming in handy at times. I got out of a speeding ticket one time in New Brunswick simply by having an RCMP cap from my uncle sitting in the back window. I had forgotten it was there but the Mountie who pulled us over noticed it and remembered my uncle from when he was stationed in the same area.
Now please, tell me more about these “drinkin-on-the-porch stories” of which you speak. I’m sure you’ve got some good ones 😀
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I do think the Marine plate is handy. I was behind a guy the other day, plate with a police emblem and NO TIX. Retired cop, maybe?
You wanna hear the stories, you bring drinks to the porch, Norm 🙂
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I have a salt life sticker. Mostly to remind me of home. But no “I heart” anythings. I don’t like to be a driving billboard of my interests. Also why I don’t have personalized plates. I did opt for the cardinal plate because I needed some pretty to see every day when I first moved to Virginia. The standard plates here were sooo ugly compared to Florida. Now about those drinkin-on-the-porch stories! 🙂
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Salt Life for you makes sense. I will now stop rolling my eyes and judging all these Hoosiers for having Salt Life stickers. Maybe they’re all from coastal areas.
Drinks on the porch, Amy, drinks on the porch.
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Not a fan of advertising anything about me on the outside of my car. I heart books (or reading) would be one that would be true or I heart traveling. I do have a license plate holder that says Chicago Blackhawks on it, as I do heart hockey. But that’s much less noticeable than bumper or back-of-the-car stickers. Maybe I heart privacy more. 🙂
I would heart the weekend, but I have to work all day Saturday and Sunday afternoon and evening, so forget that!! 🙂
janet
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Ooh that’s a workee weekend! I hope it’s going smoothly! I think you having a Blackhawks license plate holder makes sense.
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So far, so good. 😊😘
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I have never put any sticker on any car of mine. When young I liked seeing “My second car is a Porsche” and “Don’t laugh at me. Are you sure that your daughter hasn’t tried out my springs?” I can’t remember anything funny to heart. :p
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When I was in my twenties, I had a Greenpeace bumper sticker on my car. Now I heart my privacy and prefer to blend in when it comes to the road.
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Anything that makes you an ally makes you a target. Mmhm.
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Yep. Maybe that’s why someone let the air out of my back tire when I had the Greenpeace sticker.
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*nods*
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I can’t think of anything I heart enough to tell people about. Well, Mary and the cats, but like you said, that’s to be expected…
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Reasonable, John.
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I heart Joey posts…
but you know that.
and love the twist on words with gun to my head and the way you weave stuff in.
–
and really – the only “decent” reason I could think to advertise is to scare someone off – you know – like prevent something and say don’t mess with me cos I love guns (or heart guns) and this could mean that i carry and so don’t f with me (if you were thinking of it). Like I heard an uber driver say that someone was messing with him – late at night – and he thought the guy was going to try and rob him – so the uber driver said he reached down and acted like he was going for a gun – hmmm
—
and laughing at “not hail”
although once in a while I have liked the sound of hail as it pounded down in a pattern – and sorry about all the cars and roofs it hurt… hah
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Thanks!
My car’s glove box was rummaged a few months ago. Someone suggested given my Marine plate, a gun might have been the goal. Sadly, they only found air freshener, doggy potty bags, and kleenex 😛
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hahaha – that is really funny what they did get – and I think you are right, they were likely looking for a gun –
and sorry your privacy was invaded –
that happened to us – we had a n old Honda sitting out front for a while (ran great but nobody was using it) and it was rummaged through – and they left the doors barely closed – I guess shutting them is too loud.
And nothing in there for them – not even wonderful doggy potty bags
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I would be here all day if I wrote all what I Heart. And no, I wouldn’t and haven’t ever, put a bumper sticker on my car telling for all to see what I Heart. That is for friends and family. Not for just anyone. I’ll give you one Heart …. I Heart your blog, Joey. 💖💖💖
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Thanks so much, Amy! 🙂 ❤
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We should all get “I heart Joey” bumper stickers. And we should put them on our refrigerators or laptops or binders. Because we leave our cars unattended a lot, and crazy folks might make our poor, innocent cars pay for our opinions.
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AWWWW ❤ Marian! Thank you!
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I ❤ Breathing.
That is all.
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Breathing really is fabulous!
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I haven’t owned a car in ten years. When I did have a car, I never hearted anything enough to put a bumper sticker on it. I always stared in awe when others made that commitment (my personal favorite bumper sticker was “fuck you, you fucking fuck”).
One place that has valuable sticker real estate for me nowadays is my laptop. I wanted to put a single sticker on there and finally found the perfect one. It says “Let’s Get Lost” against a cool black and white forest scene. It’s a good reminder for me (and others staring at it in meetings) to shut down the digital world and get outside once in a while.
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Good choice! 😀
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I committed only once to a bumper sticker. “God bless the whole world, no exceptions”. It felt like I was risking debate from strangers which was kinda scary but I put it out there anyway. Nobody ever debated it or even approached me about it. Instead, I got freaked out about people I knew seeing my car and by virtue of the sticker, being able to identify where I was at any given time, lol. I heart breathing in solitude. Wait, there’s a name for that. I ❤️ this blog, Joey.
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Oh Kat, that’s a wonderful message to put out into the world! I can also relate to having an easily identifiable car. I have had similar thoughts at times.
Thank you so very much for your comment and compliment!
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Joey I am finally back reading blogs after my mom’s death and you are one of the handful I went to to say hey. I actually started with your cursive post and read the whole thing and have lots to say as I know a whole lotta peeps who are cursive crazy and they also love fountain pens because they too have arthritis (crap crap crap me too) and fountain pens are easier to write with. I have terrible cursive but obviously know how and partly it is because I learned architectural printing. Anywho, I enjoyed this one too but wanted to comment on the other and no way to do so!
I buy bumperstickers but don’t put them on our car because, clients. Damn clients. Our fridge is covered in them.
xo to you, missed your wit.
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Oh thank you! I have arthritis (two kinds, what fun!) and I do love fountain pens, but they’re too messy for me. I do tend to choose pens with more girth. I loooooove your architectural printing. It’s beautiful and adds such personality to your posts. The flourish and generosity of your strokes, just beautiful. Thank you so much for commenting. I’m glad you’ve merged your stuff. Big love xo
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I’m emotionally incapable of committing to a bumper sticker, but those magnetic circle/oval things? Those I can do. I’ve got one now for my kids’ school which seems kinda weird but it’s a word of mouth thing. And I do have a UVA plate on my car because there are so few Wahoos in this area, we’ve gotta stick together. 😉
But “I heart ___”? That’s harder.
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Yesh, yesh it is. Hearting is so strong on a car.
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I heart a good wry observational post like this one. 🙂 My least favorite bumper sticker had to do with the etiquette of approaching a rocking truck.
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So sweet. Thanks!
Yeah, rocking trucks — not so much — Also the one about cash, ass or grass — too crude for my taste.
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LOL.
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When I see the gun stuff on cars, I’m like, “Okay, so I know you either a) have a super expensive item in your car or b) you have them in your house, so thanks for the tip to rob you if you weren’t around, if I were so inclined.” I’ve got a decal of my fav band’s logo, but I’ll probably remove it eventually since I only put it on there in an attempt to embarrass my husband.
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I abhor advertising.. but if I had to I ❤️Creation, every last cellular blip that manages to exist. My smile when I step outside should be adbertising enough… that and my obsessive camera addiction. 😉
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