I Worked Hard on this Title




I spend a lot of my time this way. Wearing soft, warm pajamas and snuggling a quilt Papa did not make for me. Shh.

Is winter longer this year? I think winter’s longer this year.
The sun is out more. The other day, I left work around 5:30 and the sun was all shiny, and I thought hey, maybe we could get a door shot today but when I looked at the thermostat it read 9Β° and I thought hell no we won’t!

The stupid time-y change-y people are gonna make it dark in the morning again. Fuckfaces.

I’ve been busy working, taxiing teens, making snuggles, yawning, getting the sicks, running the errands. I am good at all those things.

Since I last blogged, Sassy got a sick, Bubba has been to hospital, and Moo and I have been to urgent care. The Mister is fortunate, which is a clear testament to chocolate’s antioxidant properties.

For months, I’d only gone to Facebook to play Scrabble. Sometimes I see my friends on my texting device, but I don’t have Facebook on my texting device. Well, I tell ya what, Facebook caught on to me, and it won’t let me play Scrabble until I’ve interacted a bit, which I feel is extremely manipulative, if clever. I do miss some people terrible and have considered hiding all but a dozen friends. I wonder if Facebook would allow that or if it would arrange for Scrabble to give me only vowels until I properly social media?
Scrabble, yes. Jesus as your bigotry excuse, no. Posting cat photos, yes. Showing me soup that looks like scat, no. I think that’s fair criteria.

Maybe I wanna live in my special bubble, okay? Maybe I want happy, cute, delicious, snarky, funny shit that completely reflects my worldview, hm? Maybe I’m self-centered this way. I am, after all, a self.

My phone thinks I’m a ho. hoeyfullystated. *sigh*


And I prolly am, cause who else would photograph an ice phallus?


TARTLET for 64 points!

I washed Blanche, which I don’t like doing. I blame all the unlimited wash people – WHADDATHEYGOTTAGOEVERYDAY?!? Of course, I got her all shined up so it snowed again *shakes head* That’s what makes people buy unlimited washes.

We got a new staff member. I like her. I liked the other one, too, but I didn’t enjoy doing so much of her work along with mine, so I like this one better.

At Christmas, Moo received a lip balm that she didn’t like and I did like it and now I am completely dependent on it and I asked the gift giver where the hell I’m to buy more of it and they are sold out. It was a limited time holiday thing and now it’s March and no one cares about my dependency. It cannot last forever. No lip balm ever lasts forever. Come November, you gonna see me at Ulta with a case of that shit.

There’s a weekend on the horizon and I feel like my lip balm will last the weekend.

Bad parent me did not sign up for the six-hour volunteer shifts at the thing. I’m galled at the six-hours-or-naught ask, and well, naught, motherfucker. If they want to motivate me, they should try praise, ice cream, or taking away my Scrabble.

(I may go over there. I may go to work. I may starfish in the center of our bed and watch Frozen Planet. I may fully embrace apathy. Who can tell? Okay, I never starfish, but I could.Β YOU GUYS, I don’t even need to go to the grocery store!)

Happy Friday Everyone!Β 


About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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77 Responses to I Worked Hard on this Title

  1. Benson says:

    Poor baby. I am so sorry to hear about all of your troubles. I hope you and the girls are mending and Bubba is out of Hospital. Cheer up news is it will be in the 50’s by next weekend. Also Gallery Pastry shop has Trillium ice cream. It is paired with red wine poached pear and topped with cayenne candied pecans and a berry wine reduction. I hope that improves your feel good. Happy Friday.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Holy Fucking Wow, Benson! Trillium ice cream? I have GOT to try that! Did I just drool?!? Did you already have some? When the weather’s nice, you wanna go get s’more?!?

      Thanks! Bubba is out of hospital, but not out of the woods yet. I have three more pills to take and Moo is on the Nyquil/Dayquil cycle.Sassy’s fiiiine πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Benson says:

        I am really glad to hear that about the kids. No I have not had any yet, I just discovered it on their Facebook menu. It doesn’t show on the website. You are most certainly on. First nice day Bam. Trillium ice cream.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan Antion says:

    I am completely on-board with your thoughts about “The stupid time-y change-y people” – those follks gotta go. We have a guy that works in our building. His car is always, always spotless. Even on days when there’s gunk all over the road, his black car is spotless. It’s like he has people running alongside with rags.

    I hope you roll through Friday and into a great weekend – 6 hours? screw that, nobody get’s 6 hours.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. We must be soul sisters.
    That’s who would
    photograph an ice phallus. Heck, I just posted an amethyst penis…
    Great minds think alike.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. markbialczak says:

    Maybe you’ll be more motivated at the top if you think of it as, wait … a headline!
    Can’t get that newspapering out of me, Joey.
    Enjoy the weekend, even with the clock change thing, dagnabbit.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ally Bean says:

    I may fully embrace apathy.

    Inspiring words considering the hell weekend we’re about to endure. Spring Forward? My Aunt Fannie! 🀨

    Liked by 1 person

  6. loisajay says:

    Happy Friday, Joey! Florida is trying to do away with DST. But that might be a problem. What about the people who live in Alabama and work in Florida? Gonna be hard for them to get up for work and be here on time….and we spring ahead this weekend! That came up rather suddenly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      For most of my life Indiana didn’t have DST and it was great. It was really great. Maybe going in an hour earlier would suck, but you’d get home with another hour… Maybe. I dunno, I cain’t math πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Sounds like you’re ready for a weekend. Hope everyone is on the mend.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Bill says:

    I was gunna say that I like the term, ‘fully embrace apathy’ but then decided liking is very unapathetic. Glad you found time to and a way to post. Love reading you. Embrace whatever you don’t care about and have a great F-day and magic weekend. Y’all….I should have said y’all.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. eschudel says:

    Hope your weekend is quieter! Happy Friday πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hihih, I admit, it was me! That TARTLET got me good! Even spellchecker here underlines it!

    Sorry to hear about all ills and pains. I hope all will be well soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. One of the good things about not having a car (temporarily?) is the lack of guilt about it being dirty.

    I still need to get my California driver’s license.

    But I’ll be happiest when the nice lady who is essentially forcing us to finish moving in is done with her job, my desk isn’t covered with a deep layer of whatever the husband dragged out of a packing box and doesn’t know what to do with, and the writing is allowed to roam free again.

    There’s a lot to be said for free-range fiction.


  12. scr4pl80 says:

    LOL the ice sculpture. πŸ™‚ I am so with you about the time change. Hate spring forward. Hate it even more this year because it is on MY BIRTHDAY! Hope everyone feels better soon. Cross fingers I can get my things moved into the studio this weekend. That would be my perfect birthday present.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. JT Twissel says:

    I know what you mean about Facebook….. I don’t really care what people are having for lunch. The sun came out briefly this morning but it was cold…. I felt like saying, Mr. Sun don’t be such a tease!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Jewels says:

    I completely relate to your lip balm story – I’ve make my own for years and can’t live without it. Then my Rachael created a lip balm recipe at Christmas time and hers is even better. I lost the one she gave me and my lips almost fell off until she gave me a nother one when I was over there the other day. Hope you have a good weekend, Joey! πŸ™‚ We have 12 inches of snow on the way here. Yes, winter definitely seems longer this year…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Oh for goodness sake, I wanna try homemade lip balm!!!
      Our snow sorta bounced through. We should have had a pile, but nope. Not today. Here’s hoping your snow is fluffy and pretty πŸ™‚


  15. Ugh! I hope everyone is all better now! I hate falling in love with limited time only makeup and products.

    I hope you’re able to the lip balm this Christmas.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Not the week/whatever of your dreams obviously!! I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just say I hope tomorrow is much, much, MUCH better. It just being Saturday might help, but I’m not sure. It’s cloudy here, but almost up to 40, although I’ve been working on taxes and such like, so I haven’t even ventured out at all. Tomorrow there are those little rain pictures on my weather app, which doesn’t excite me, either, but I’ll probably be working in “the city” (i.e. Chicago) all day at an event, so that probably won’t matter much either. Now I’m going to head upstairs to work on my French a bit so au revoir!


    Liked by 1 person

  17. Amy says:

    Happy Friday Joey!! Sorry to hear that (mostly) everyone was sick! HeeHee to ice phallus. I’d be snapping a pic too. I love lip balm. I’m not too picky about flavors, but my teens apparently are so I’ve inherited a few. I don’t like dark mornings, but I do like light evenings once it actually gets warm and non-wet enough to spend time outdoors. Have a great weekend! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I truly miss the outdoors! Little blips of it, when the sun is shining and it’s not too windy — those are nice blips! I am glad you would also snap an ice phallus πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  18. John Holton says:

    There must be another place online where you can play Scrabble without having to play the Zuckerberg game.

    Mary used to like the lip balm from Avon, and she’d order about 100 at the end of the year for the following year. Sadly, her Avon lady died a couple of years ago and she’s had to make do with Burt’s Bees, which she actually likes better. Don’t ask me what my point was, I don’t think I had one…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Well it’s more about who I play with. I have had Scrabble on my phone, but not everyone likes to do that, and I like my players.
      That is sad about the Avon lady and Mary’s lip balm. I wonder was it Dew Kiss? I used to love that stuff. I use Burt’s too!


  19. orbthefirst says:

    I have heard tale of your being sickly. Hopefully you & yours are feeling better. Happy weekend πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Tara says:

    I enjoyed this lil’ post, but mostly I wanted to share my solidarity with you on the dark morning/hour change-y people. Fuckfaces. YEAH! If they want more light at night, they should be forced to move north, not take one of my precious hours away. Bastards.

    Sorry ’bout the lip balm issue. I’m still pissed that they stopped making Jello Pudding Pops. Got all addicted and then they were just GONE.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. darsword says:

    I’m so sorry your family had the crud. Hope you are all better soon. Hopefully spring springs and life can happen soon. Oregon is talking about eliminating time changie things! Don’t you hate finding a product you love then can’t find it again? Hugs to you all!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. JoAnna says:

    You’ve been working, to the doctor for multiple family members, have 9 degree weather, and they want 6 hour volunteer shifts?! It’s enough to make me cuss out loud. I’m using the F word in my head for that 6 hour thing. Totally unreasonable. I think you should starfish or do whatever you want. You’ve earned it. And FB is getting crazier every day. I try not to scroll and to just click on certain people who won’t make me mad. But then I forget some people. Oh well. gonna take a FB break soon. I hope everyone will be all better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Susanne says:

    You have been so busy, you deserve – nay, NEED – a day starfishing.

    Facebook. Blech. I don’t FB anymore. It hurt my soul and that’s all I have to say about that.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. OH. MY. GODDESS! I laughed so fricking hard at this one. FB is sending me messages saying I am not posting enough! If it were not for the art spots I’d be outta there. I don’t think it has done a thing for our business… I have connected up a bit. Oregon is saying they are going ot put daylight savings tome (us bowing out) on the ballot. I am voting before they do — stop the changes!!!!! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Indiana didn’t have time change for most of my life, which may or may not be why I resent it so much. That and I always feel poorly after. I sure hope voter turnout is big there!
      Thanks for the laughing — I appreciate that!


  25. Kat says:

    I agree that winter is longer this year but I like DST. I also think you’re right about Facebook, car washes and lip balm dependence. You’re my kind of woman, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. larva225 says:

    I’d definitely have to photograph an ice phallus, only because it’s ICE.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. bikerchick57 says:

    YES to calling the time changey person a fuckface. I drove to work in the dark this morning and I was not happy. It’s dark. My sunrises are gone. It’s dark. On the bright side, though, the sun was out today, it felt warm and I got my car washed.

    YES to chocolate for illness prevention. The 80 or 85% good-tasting stuff. Been eating it all winter. I’m healthy so far, but now I have to knock on wood and do a don’t-get-sick dance. I hope you and your children get and remain healthy for months to come.

    YES to kitties on Facebook. You know why and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. My crappy mood lifted on Friday and I feel much better except for the ache I feel in my legs because I went back to power yoga after not having gone for six weeks.

    YES to the ice phallus, cuz that’s all I got hon. Hope you are having a super duper Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:


      I’m SO glad the choccie’s workin for ya. May you have a very healthy year!

      Sorry about the morning darkness. It just doesn’t feeeeel like morning when it’s dark. Our whole house had trouble going to bed at the right time, and sleep avoided us all way too long, and then? Woke up in the dark!

      Bringing the FB kitties to you is bringing me happiness as well. It’s a good thing to do for Lent, not that I have Lent, but for your Lent.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Prior... says:

    Abhhh thanks for the smiles – the ice discovery – hah- and Joeyisms.
    Sorry y’all got some kind of ailment (well almost all) – and the other comment I have was that photo – it is absolutely refreshing to see someone without makeup on! Such pretty eyes el natuelle – and sure there are times for make up – but high five for sharing a pic without the glitz! Just had to mention that…

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Bryan Fagan says:

    Sometimes we just need a break. Especially from Facebook. I know I do. Twitter on the other….well….I’m a tad hooked. Hope everybody in your home is back on the mend.


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