Fighting is Their Favorite

Today was the last day of school for our wee ones, and the panic has arisen. Summer vacation is wonderful, because no more 6am. Sadly, at whatever time they awaken, they will be together all day, every day, day after day after day.

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The Mister dealt with them yesterday mornin, and he was quick to tell me they cannot sleep together anymore. They need time apart, he said. Then he added, “How shall we accomplish this over summer break?”
I lol’d and said we won’t, it will be like every other summer.

You see, I have dealt with all these same issues before, because Bubba and Sissy had exactly the same dynamics. Introverted Bubba could spend all day building impressive things, reading, or playing in his room, only ever coming out to eat or because his presence was required. Sissy, on the other hand, was never content to play alone, and needed nearly constant companionship. She was, depending on which phrase you can relate to, up my butt or on my hip all day, day in, day out. Other little girls might have preferred playing with their toys, but Sissy preferred to fold towels, cook, clean, watch cooking shows, garden, or eavesdrop. Some four-year-olds are very content to sit and have coffee with adults, even when they don’t like coffee, and our Sissy was such a child.

I should mention, our children are not permitted to claim boredom. Boredom will be fixed with chores, so our kids are never bored, except that one time a few summers ago, Sissy forgot, and said, “I’m bore– Nope, I’m fine,” but she was too late, and had to clean the tops of the bookshelves, poor thing.

Bubba and Sissy could never play games without fighting, either.

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Bubba did not want to be bothered and all Sissy wanted to do was bother him. Just like Sassy and Moo now.

Me: Why did you poke your brother in the eye with your wand?
Sissy: Because I wanted to!

Bubba did not want to play kitchen, and Sissy did not want to play alone.

They fought most of the day, just like Sassy and Moo, and then they, too, wouldn’t shut up and go to sleep at night, when they suddenly remembered they loved one another.

This gets easier, once the younger, more extroverted child achieves the liberty that promotes a real social life, but until that time comes, it’s fairly exhausting for all parties.

Oh sure, I take em to the park, the zoo, the pool, the splash n’ play, the children’s museum, the library, and to play dates and sleepovers as well. We have other kids over. They go to day camps here and there, or VBS, and Bubba even went away to scout camp for a week. The Mister and I have “dates” with the children to break it up a bit. We take trips. We play games. We do arts and crafts. We have spa days. We have family come and stay for awhile. But all roads lead back to fighting. Fighting is their favorite.

We even got boxing for the Wii so they could virtually beat the crap outta one another.

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The Mister loves to fight with the children, but he doesn’t do it daily, and he never screams bloody murder nor does he spout out hate speech. Do your kids “Stupid Baby!” and “Big Bully!” one another too?

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My main goal in the summer is to get them back to school in August, intact bodily and without any soul-crushing material for therapy. My own sanity is of little importance at this point.

The only real piece of advice I have is this: If you get mad, start blathering about how you just can’t take it anymore. Try to appear a bit more emotionally unstable than you actually are. Whisper. Grunt. Randomly yell here and there. Say things about how you love them ALL so much, you just caNNN’t stand THE way they trEAt one anoTHER. Work up a tear or two by thinking about how flat your tummy usta be, or how they ruined the interior of your car. Use your loud Italian hands to wave something nearby, but non-threatening, like a book, a phone, a remote control, a throw pillow — never a hot iron, never a paring knife, and never ever a cat. Begin mumbling incoherently, perhaps even in another language, to the ceiling, the window, or to an obscure spot on the wall. This will completely freak your children out and they will leave you alone for at least an hour. The more calm and reasonable you usually are, the more time you’ll get. Sometimes they will pair off, and sometimes they will send the youngest out to test the waters. The helpful one will come to make sure you still love her. The oldest may try to escape, in which case you can say, “Huh uh, Buddy, we’re all in this rainy day together.” Talk through your teeth if you need more time. Use the crazy only as needed, in case it gets real.

Right.

Happy Summer Vacation!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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21 Responses to Fighting is Their Favorite

  1. Dan Antion says:

    OK, so how unfair is it that I enjoyed reading this and that I am looking forward to your summertime posts. Oh, I should add that our only child lives nearby but is functionally on her own. I know that you know that it will all work out. You got this. Enjoy.

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    • I reckon it’s fair. You did your time, and did it well — even if she is an only. It was never easy, even with one, now was it? 🙂
      I definitely got this!

      Like

  2. meANXIETYme says:

    Too much fun reading this…

    Also, it’s an explanation for why I don’t have kids. I’d be bald and in a rubber room, mumbling and rocking myself.

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  3. Thanks. Yeah, I feel like I made it through 2002-2006 without twitching and drooling, so I’ll prolly be okay now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. cardamone5 says:

    This is classic, and very helpful. Love the crazy recommendation. Will definitely use that.

    Fondly,
    Elizabeth

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  5. Try this one: “How am I ever going to get all these weeds pulled before dinner time?” They’ll play in their rooms so fast it’s amazing.

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  6. words4jp says:

    You need to post a video of a parent tantrum so we all can get a ‘more clear’ understanding of your technique;).

    Like

  7. Alice says:

    I love the “getting along shirt.” Oh, my sister and I fought tooth and nail. When I was 18, we became best friends. My sons wrestled and wrangled through the years–they are best friends. I think the more the fightin’, the better the friends. Sort of.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jewels says:

    Haha! Hope you all survive the summer! With having only one child, I never had to go through any of this at home, but I did work at a school for 11 years, so I broke up many a fights and disagreements there. And I miss it…

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  9. From a mother of 4 and 2 of them being hyper active twin boys, I know you need to keep those kids busy…just to keep the peace….I like the shirt Idea, we had anger pillows that the kids decorated and was the go to when they got mad…it sounds like you will have a productive and very clean home this summer. LOL..I just love summer vacations…

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  10. Kat's Den says:

    My mom used to count “1! 2!” I knew to get in gear before 3! could be uttered. I reached a point with my kids that I skipped 1 and started right in with 2!

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    • I was an only. No one to fight with. I do remember having trouble when my cousins came to stay tho. I’d have terrible fits over not being able to be alone, lol! Middle-naming us and putting us in corners was my mother’s technique. An oldie but a goodie!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. suzjones says:

    No. Never throw the cat. It only ends in bloodshed! 😉

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