I worked the holiday. I think unless it’s a day people celebrate with greeting cards or feature foods, we work it. My family was at my house and I was not and it was sad.
We had an inundation of what is called ‘wintry mix’ or as I like to think of it, nature’s complimentary slushy (flavors not available.) If you’re unfamiliar with that, it falls like rain or like snow and either way, when it hits the ground, it forms a slush, which may freeze in a cohesive manner or scatter like sand, but it will not provide traction regardless. The moment compression occurs, feet or tires, its truth is revealed — Slick Stuff. School was delayed.
I don’t watch regular tv anymore. I mean, I could, if I wanted to. I can turn on the antenna and watch tv, but there are commercials on tv and they are awful. I was at the dentist again (it was fine again) and they had the regular tv on. First it was Ellen, whom I enjoy, but this group came on, and brace yourselves, it was a sorta country meets R&B vibe which almost made my ears bleed. Then Family Feud, and I do so enjoy Steve Harvey, but then it was all light saber sounds in my mouth and I couldn’t hear a damn thing UNTIL the commercials came on. I could hear those over the laser battle. Then the news came on, and there was a story about Indy’s potholes, no kiddin!
From work to the dentist, I saw potholes big enough to take a bath in. Leaving the dentist, I saw a sign in the right hand lane — someone had painted it and set it in the street <—- BIG POTHOLES and I had to drive into the left lane quick, like all the people in front of me, because there was no way to maneuver around them. This is a problem every winter, and this year is second to none.
Crossroads of America. Yay.
One morning, I woke up in the middle of the night — obvs, totes dark — but it was actually five and I couldn’t fall back asleep. It was terrible.
Which sweater? Which jeans? Which boots? Quelle monotonie.
Twelve hours later I was attacked by a case of unemotional tearful yawning.
Office Manager is on vacation. I hope she returns before I run out of red ink and decaf.
I have been spared a sick that took Mentor out of the office. First she tried to hide it. She was holed-up in her office hackin her brains out. Immunocompromised me stood outside the door hollerin, “Why did you bring that here?!” Then she tried to be all badass about it, sayin things like, “Meh, I’ve felt worse,” and “I’ll see you tomorrow,” while the rims of her eyeballs had clearly been boiled red. She did NOT see me tomorrow. Or the next day.
Honestly, if you told me she had pneumonia, whooping cough, tuberculosis, and the croup, I’da said, “Yep, that sounds about right.” I had to go into her office and touch her mouse and keyboard and then I used all the hand sanitizer ever. Then I Clorox wiped her shit and washed my hands. My job is substantially harder without her, but it’s about ten times worse after I’ve been absent.
Today, Receptionist is buying me a Molly Melt. She said, “I’ll buy if you go get it,” and I said, “Absolutely!” She already paid me in advance, which made me chuckle, as if money has been exchanged and I have entered into a cheeseburger contract. I’m REALLY looking forward to that.
This weekend, Flotsam and Jetsam are coming and going with their tribe. I must perform my Old Mother Hubbard ritual. Maybe I’ll do other stuff. Maybe going out will invigorate me, you never can tell. If not, there are linens to launder and books to read on Sunday.
Okay, you write stuff now. How was your week?
Oh, wait, Happy Friday Everyone!