You Can’t Outgrow My Love, My Love

I put my bag of new shoes in the trunk and Sassy (then 12) and I got into the car to head home. Sassy had never been to the shoe warehouse. I have no idea how many shoes are in there, but ALAWT seems accurate. She’d been awed. She said she wanted so many new shoes. I said, “When your feet stop growing, you can start investing in shoes. While your feet are growing you just need the basics. When you settle into a size, we’ll buy you more. Terrible thing about being an adult, you sometimes don’t consider you should buy new things, since all your old things still fit you.”

She was quiet for a bit and then she asked, “Is that why you don’t buy me clothes all the time anymore?”
“What?”
“You used to buy me clothes all the time. You hardly ever buy me clothes anymore. You’ll say I need jeans or warmies or whatever and we’ll go get them, but you used to buy me new clothes all the time. Like, all the time.”

OH NO.

“You used to grow so fast, I could barely keep you clothed! I HAD to shop all the time!”
“I feel so much better! I thought you didn’t love me as much anymore.”
“WHAT?”
“I didn’t know.”
“WHAT?”
“I thought…Oh, I just thought…”
“Nooooo!”

 

Can you imagine the heartbreak and devastation of this conversation? I realize it’s also horrible funny, but Oh My God, my child thought I didn’t love her as much anymore!

 

 

When we had Irish twins, people said how great it was that we could pass Sassy’s clothes to Moo. No one could have predicted Sassy would be a giantesse and Moo would be tiny. It takes many years for this gap to close on the clothes.
For most of their childhood, people would ask me how far apart they were and when I answered 14 months, people would be shocked, and I have gotten over being asked if I am sure

For years, Sassy the Giantesse outgrew everything in a matter of months. One day she wore the blue 6-9 month onesie and then the next day, it was too small. That was the beginning. From that point on, she was in the 90th percentile or off the chart. She was in 3T by one year, in a 7/8 by kindergarten, in the women’s department by fourth grade. She passed her older sister a long time ago. Shopping for her was a constant necessity.
For almost two years, I couldn’t keep her in pants, so I’d buy her oversized dresses to wear with tights, and when those crept up on her, she could wear them with leggins and bike shorts.
Sassy would grow out of clothes in a matter of months, but it would be years before Moo could fit into them.

sm_balloons

7 & 6

sm_growth

 
In contrast, Moo didn’t outgrow her training panties until she was 9. She wore a 6x until fourth grade. Moo could ride in the baby basket of the grocery cart until she was 8. Moo was in a car booster seat until she was 10. For most of her life, nurses nagged me about Moo’s weight, until one day, she finally hit the low end of the normal range. I’ve hardly had to buy Moo any clothes. She always had tubs of clothes to grow into. She still has two right now.

 

 

When you’ve got another kid to wear all the clothes, you don’t mind to purchase nice quality items, but when you’ve got one who grows so fast, you also gladly accept hand-me-downs, order a lot from eBay, and shop at thrift stores. It was a lot of shopping, constantly, all her life, okay?

 

 

Not too long after we moved here, Sassy’s growth rate slowed down considerably. We didn’t take her shopping all the time, we didn’t buy her new shoes every few months, we didn’t order a box lot of clothes from eBay and take her to the thrift shop almost every weekend. We didn’t need to, since she had stuff that fit.

If you’re a child whose whole life has always involved getting lots of things, whether new or new-to-you, when it stops, you don’t see it as a pleasant end to constant shopping, you think maybe you’re not as loved as you had been. Terrible stuff.

This post was inspired by Sassy’s latest growth spurt. She passed my height this summer. Moo is presumed to be seven, even though she’s twelve. She can fit in your average suitcase.

 

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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59 Responses to You Can’t Outgrow My Love, My Love

  1. orbthefirst says:

    I still say you dont feed that girl enough. She scrawny. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Timelesslady says:

    I am the oldest sister to the middle sister by 2 1/2 years. She was always almost as big as I was. Until now somewhere I was in highschool. She stopped growing earlier, is smaller than me, and weighs less. She grew quickly, I grew slowly, and I am bigger, and grew even past high school about an inch. It’s the old tortoise and hare story I guess. My youngest sister also grew very fast as a child, was very tall in grade school, and now is average in size like I am. I enjoyed your post…brought back memories.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Timelesslady says:

      Sorry…Joey, should proofread before I hit ‘post.’ I wish they included an edit on the reply button. Meant she was taller until now….she stopped growing early, I grew for years after her.

      Like

    • joey says:

      Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it and it brought out your own story. I don’t think Moo will surpass Sassy, but you never can tell 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Amazing what they think sometimes.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. jan says:

    My children are a foot apart in height. My son is tall and skinny and my daughter a foot shorter and always watching her weight. She constantly yells at me for not giving her the right genes!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dan Antion says:

    “…fit into the average suitcase.” Hmm, potential savings on air fare, but… It’s always interesting to see the reactions when children outgrow their parents. I can only imagine how you felt to hear that she thought you didn’t love her 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Norm 2.0 says:

    Funny story, but a perfectly logical conclusion for a kid I guess.
    I was named by my Grandmother after her firstborn who died from a childhood illness when he was 18 months or so.
    The grown-ups in the family used to proudly tell me this story all the time when I was little. But I didn’t see it as a tribute. I just thought that if they named me after the dead kid, it meant I was gonna die young too; kid logic 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Benson says:

    As our boys grew we stopped handing down clothes as they started sharing. None of my kids ever accused me of loving them less. The youngest, when he was about 6 or 7 would tell his Mother she should divorce me whenever he got pissed.It took a while but he finally got his wish.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Anxious Mom says:

    Bless her heart!

    And wow, you’d think they were 3 or 4 years apart for real. People usually think LM is older because he’s tall, always in the 90th percentile too, but weight is a different matter. He needs a size 10 jeans but can still wear his size 5 night shorts, since he’s so skinny.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ally Bean says:

    Oh, this is such a bittersweet story. The way in which kids interpret adult actions can be a surprise. Poor dear, thinking that you didn’t love her anymore. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. John Holton says:

    How far apart are your Irish twins? My brothers are eleven months. Jim, the older, was born in December and Kip the following November. Created havoc when Mom tried to enroll them in school, because they wanted to put both in the same class and Mom didn’t want that.

    We got hand-me-downs from Mon’s cousin and stepbrother, who aren’t much older than I am. By the time any of us was ready to hand something down, it was ready for the rag bin…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Luanne says:

    Hahaha, those poor kids, fodder for Mom’s wicked typing fingers. Sassy looks like a very cute and average-sized skinny kid in that photo . . . . But to the main point: wow, I had no idea a kid could come up with the stuff she comes up with. I hope my kids didn’t overthink things to that degree. Yikes. Makes me feel bad just thinking about her thinking that about you!!!
    My cousins were 11 months apart, and the younger was always bigger than the older one. That was kind of awkward for both of them, especially when the younger one needed to start shaving in 5th grade.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      We had that in our extended family as well. My nephew is three years younger than Bubba, but always bigger, taller, thicker. Weird to get hand-me-downs from someone younger. Of course, I enjoy them, too! Giant hoodies and gardening shirts 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Luanne says:

        Weird but nice. Always nice to get handmedowns. My daughter used to get some great outfits from my son’s best friend but then one day we realized the girls that were 3 years apart were almost the same size! And my daughter is Asian . . . .

        Liked by 1 person

  12. bikerchick57 says:

    Moo will probably grow (a little) to be one of those teeny tiny women who look good in anything and gets the best deal on teeny tiny shoe sales.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. April says:

    My sons are 5 years apart. Of course I was going to give the youngest all the hand me downs but he was too skinny and tall. He didn’t fit most of what I had stashed. Today he is 6’4″.

    Like

  14. dalecooper57 says:

    What on Earth are Irish Twins?

    Like

  15. Judy Martin says:

    Bless her, for thinking that you didn’t love her anymore. It sounds like it was hard work keeping her clothed when she was younger.
    My daughter is almost as tall as me now, and despite mine and her father’s lack of height, looks like she might end up to be a ‘normal’ height! She is outgrowing her clothes very quickly at the moment too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. lbeth1950 says:

    Beautiful girls. My sister reached her adult heighth by age ten and she’s just average now.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. larva225 says:

    I feel your pain. My daughter is only 5 and is in 8s already. She wore newborn stuff for about 3 hours. My son, while tall, is a stringbean. He’s STILL in 18 mo shorts.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’m sitting here smiling at this but envisioning that each of them has their own challenge of probably being told by kids they are too tall or too short. Sucks. I hope Moo gets to go shopping when Sassy buys new clothes to be sure it is something she likes too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      They do. Even the eldest, who was ‘normal’ and ‘average’, even ideal in childhood — they all have their challenges. Moo is picky about texture, so she doesn’t take on everything Sassy picks out, and she’s way more into color and pattern, so the clothes she chooses are completely different from Sassy’s plain, mostly black stuff. Moo is fun to dress, she enjoys clothes 🙂 I didn’t mean I don’t buy clothes for Moo, just that I really don’t have to.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Prajakta says:

    This was so adorable, amusing yet deep – It’s a great insight as to how a child’s mind works, right? I hope Moo doesn’t think that since she isn’t growing, you don’t feed her enough 😛 I am already feeling for Moo – At 25 I still have to buy from the girl’s section! Nothing in Women’s fits me.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. joannesisco says:

    Poor Sassy. I understand her logic :/

    Liked by 1 person

  21. garym6059 says:

    Moo is very similar to my daughter it sounds like! She is still wearing shirts from ages 5-6 and she’s damn near nine!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. My triplets wear 3 different sizes. I realized that my oldest was feeling frustrated that he only got the brother’s hand me downs. He is the one who likes clothing and fashion the most. He also takes care not to slop, spill or stain things. I decided last spring that even though shirts still fit from Kindergarten, he would appreciate something new as a 3rd grader. He loved it so much. Sometimes, people want something new, or new to them, because it feels good. Being in a financial position to buy an occasional want, not just needs is so powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I agree. Moo loves clothes and fashion and is more careful as well. It’s a pleasure to shop for her, because it’s never about needs. She ends up choosing vivid colors and patterns.
      Also, I feel sad for you that all 3 wear different sizes.That must be difficult for them, too at times. Or not. I don’t know, some boys don’t care.
      Thanks for sharing with me today, Jen 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. So heartfelt. I almost cried. Its so funny that in every families there are large disparities between siblings. Love this post! 💕

    Like

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