Gossip, Folks


Out the other night, peopling with some happenstance people we sometimes people with, one of the people, Scott, was there, and we hadn’t seen Scott in months, so we peopled a bit extra and then when Scott was talkin, The Mister asked me,Β “You know who he looks like?”
“No, Grady.”
“Grady who? Grady Dean?” asked Scott.
“No, my cousin Grady.”
“Wait, you know Grady Dean? Blond? Used to race motorcycles?” I asked.
“Yeah. Hell yeah, I grew up with him.”
“That’s trippy! I dated him.”
“You know he went to jail a while back?”
“Can you guess why he went to jail?”

He never was good with money. He out-earned me five times over, but he had no idea what he was doin. I did his books.
This throws you, I know, but it was just Quicken, and Grady didn’t know how to use his new-fangled computer and he paid me to teach him how to do his books.

I made that clear, “I didn’t sleep with him and do his books for free. It was not like that.”
They nodded and stared at The Mister.
People get weirded-out when I say things like this in front of my husband, but people often overlook important things:
One, The Mister isn’t intimidated by anything less than bein trapped in a snake-filled MRI while bad music plays.
Two, he’s known me since I was thirteen. It’s not like this is all new to him.



Y’all, I learned more about Grady Dean in ten minutes than I did about him in the year or so we dated. It was off-and-on — just dating, nothing serious. Well, I suppose it was on and then off-and-on and then off.

Grady Dean (not his real name) was one of the strangest ‘relationships’ I had. I’m not even gonna tell you all the things, but it was strange, mk?

He looked like Robert Redford and like trouble, ya know? I went out with him a bit unwillingly, because he was decidedly cool, and I’m not really into cool. He also enjoyed terrible pastimes like motorcycles and boating, and in case you haven’t read me long, I am not all about boats. But he was extremely good looking, and charming, and damn, he was persistent. He was all about wining and dining me.

You’d think he was tryin to get in my pants, but he was absolutely not tryin to get in my pants, which was polite, confusing, and annoying as fuck.

In my twenties, I was not lookin for a man. I was lookin for fun. I didn’t have thoughts of settling down, but apparently, I gave off a she’d make-a-nice-wife vibe, cause men are delusional bastards who see what they want to see.

One time, Tori and I had some people over to dinner and Grady made some awkward silence-inducing comment about how he can eat Burger King three times a day because he likes it and not everyone needs so much variety.
run joey! run!

Y’all know I could not live a long and happy life with some burger-eatin boater.

My parents loved him. They thought he was swell.

I did not love him.
“We were not in love, or anything gross like that,” I said to the people.
I enjoyed Grady’s company. He was the kinda guy, who, when my serial monogamist friends all had dates and wanted me to go, made for a nice companion.


Last I saw Grady, Beauty Queen and I were peerin out her back window, cause he lived behind her and he did still look good mowin that grass.
Not leave our husbands good, but good.
His mugshot is not so hawt.


It’s a small world. Certain circles in The Circle City are undeniably small given its 860,000-some people.

Again, I cannot explain how tightly my ball is wound.

Turns out Scott lived in my neighborhood. Not that I ever knew him then, just as I don’t really know him now. We didn’t go to school together, but we sure do know a lot of the same people, for happenstance.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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48 Responses to Gossip, Folks

  1. Matt Roberts says:

    Interesting. I just Ubered a guy the other night who happened to know some kids I played baseball with when I was a kid. Like, 30 years ago. He caught me up on them, I didn’t care, but it was interesting to me just how small this world can be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. scr4pl80 says:

    Yes, it happened to me recently too – you know what they say, “It’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it!”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. πŸ™‚ Most unlikely circumstance like this I’ve had was meeting a couple guys at a youth hostel in Switzerland who were from Ft. Wayne, Indiana…and actually knew someone I went to school with. What are the odds of that and what possessed me to even ask if they did?


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Erika says:

    I think I rather like Grady’s dining habits. πŸ˜‰

    Small, small world. My dad and stepmom recently went to Puerto Rico of all places and a couple from our tiny little community was there on honeymoon. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      You would like Grady’s dining habits, E. You’d have to say that too. Remind me you’re a picky-picky πŸ˜›

      That’s pretty cool given the size of your community!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve lived here for all but 10 yrs of my life and I rarely, rarely have had this happen to me. What bubble am I in?!! … Maybe it’s best if we not burst it. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. It is a small world, Joey. I think I would get sick of being with a burger eating boat person too!!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dan Antion says:

    Somewhat off-topic, but how good is “leave our husbands good” ? I just know who to look out for πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  8. pluviolover says:

    “…men are delusional bastards who see what they want to see.” And the problem is…? I have this urge to rewrite this story so that I can see what I want to see. Ok?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. JoAnna says:

    This is crazy. I named my rebound from hell ( in my memoir) Grady. He was also persistent and sort of good looking but “in a sick Marlboro Man kinda way” as my friends said. He also did time. I’m sorry to all the Grady’s out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This kind of random re-meeting skipped a generation with me. My dad never, ever went anywhere without finding someone he knew. It was uncanny. We moved 2000 miles from home, and he came to visit, found someone at the airport he knew. We’d go to the beach and he’d recognize folks from summers before. There were no strangers for him. I always envied that. Your escape from that burger-eating boater…too funny. I was worried when I heard my husband say that if they came out with a pill to take the place of food, he’d take it. I married him anyway. He changed.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Benson says:

    What a refreshing and candid post. It is a small world indeed. So you are into the “bad” guys. You must have known he had a malicious side because you guessed extortion. Most of my secrets will end up in the grave, simply because I don’t want to take the time to explain.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. loisajay says:

    Dang, Joey! Happenstance can be so much fun, can’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. marianallen says:

    Went to NYC (as an adult) and ended up running across a group of kids from my tiny town’s high school, chaperoned by a friend of mine. IN ALL OF NYC, our paths crossed, and we didn’t know about the other’s trip.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. No matter how often it happens, it still flips me out a bit when the six-degrees (or less) of separation rule comes into play.

    Confession: I did not know that about you and boats! Duly noted.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Everyone always knows someone who knows someone I know back in Naples. Sometimes it’s interesting and sometimes a little creepy given that the town isn’t that small. We’ve had occasions of happenstance on various trips.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Jad says:

    I am going to have to try peopling sometime, it sounds like fun!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. prior.. says:

    Love how you call it peopling –
    I never heard that featured song before but listened to part of it and hug girn to hear them say “bad mamajama” – right on.
    and I had an ex or two like you described:
    “because he was decidedly cool, and I’m not really into cool.”
    or when they think they are the coolest baddest mamajama around.”
    For me (in early 20s) I had a couple dudes try to impress me with money and their huge business goals – but it was speaking the wrong language for moi.

    really enjoyed this read.

    Liked by 1 person

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