Have y’all seen the commercial where the couple climbs into the backseat during the automated car wash, presumably for a quickie? My husband said the woman’s smile is false advertising. I said prolly now people are buying Corollas, deeply disappointed every time they go through the car wash. I definitely like my car clean, and speedily. Someone needs to vacuum my car and sadly, I’m someone. I don’t mind to get dirty, even I don’t mind gettin my hands dirty, but then, I like my hands clean, clean, clean. I like my hair dirty. Tis true. It’s a whole hair thing. In 2016 I went eight months without using shampoo and then I took up a bar shampoo that’s composed entirely of oils. Yes, that’s right, it’s true, three years, oiled hair. After I oil it, I put more oil in it. It’s not for everyone but it’s definitely for me. I like my body clean. If I don’t have to oil my hair, I prefer baths. I swear, I’m half-human, half-sponge. Hydrating from the inside is absolute rubbish. Good for all my internal organs and functions, but for the skin, oil. And more oil. I like my house clean. Remember when my house was clean? It was tidy, too, with everything in its place? Was it May? I think it was May. Now it’s somewhat clean on some days and almost never tidy. We spend a lot of time in our bedroom. Where the sheets are washed on Sunday because clean sheets are the cat’s meow. I like my clothes to be clean, except jeans, which are better dirty. I prefer my husband dirty. Just a lil. Man smell. Mmm. Which takes us back to the car wash.