Several times a week, I leave on my lunch break and drive to the McDon’ts to get my beloved swate tay.
Y’all should treat me like other addicts. Sweet tea is like methadone, okay? Just be like, “Good for Joey, stayin off that Coca-Cola.”
I’m super sensitive to these issues, cause we all have our vices, and just because I have twenty-fuckin-five of them while you have only five doesn’t make you a better person and if you don’t think you have vices, or your vices are lesser vices, then it’s likely your vices include self-righteousness about your vices in comparison to others.
I am kind and compassionate, but bitchy.
Anyway, on my lunch break, often I see the same man on the corner. He’s got a good coat and boots, and a beard to rival Moses’s, but I know he’s still cold. Sometimes I give him monies. Sometimes I buy him a coffee.
Extraordinary Things Here:
#1 — I found out that if the coffee is for that man on the corner, it’s on the house. They provide him coffee regularly. People care. Doesn’t that make you smile?
#2 — A local car dealership bought him a bicycle. People really do care. Smile bigger.
You are unprepared for this next bit. Sit down. Brace yourself.
#3 — As I handed the man his coffee, a woman hopped out of her vehicle and ran wildly to him.
“Sir! Sir! We’ve brought you some clean water!”
He turned around, “Thank you. Thank you.”
“I know people probably give you a lot of coffee,” she looked right into my eyes, “but you really need water in this weather.”
I gave her some of my polite WTF blinking and a smile.
FROM UNDER WHAT BRIDGE DID THIS PHILANTHROPIC TROLL EMERGE?!?
did she just try to shame my generosity?!? bitch, please, you are a visitor here.
Obviously, I couldn’t even.
Of course it’s nice she gave him water. I’m certain he needs water. Whether he would be able to drink all two gallons of it before it froze, I cannot say. Picture that. “Don’t drink water, kids. You’ll end up on the corner drinkin two gallons a day, suckin icicles from cars, and still Jonesin for fresh snow.”
Truly a downward spiral of addiction.
In a way, even with the wrong attitude but the right intention, it’d be spectacular if everyone tried to out-charity everyone else.
Imagine the escalation of that scenario.
I wonder if on his blog, he writes about us.
“Swate tay junkie came by again today, brought me another stupid coffee…”
Happy Friday Everyone!