Shame

Several times a week, I leave on my lunch break and drive to the McDon’ts to get my beloved swate tay.

Y’all should treat me like other addicts. Sweet tea is like methadone, okay? Just be like, “Good for Joey, stayin off that Coca-Cola.”
I’m super sensitive to these issues, cause we all have our vices, and just because I have twenty-fuckin-five of them while you have only five doesn’t make you a better person and if you don’t think you have vices, or your vices are lesser vices, then it’s likely your vices include self-righteousness about your vices in comparison to others.

I am kind and compassionate, but bitchy.

Anyway, on my lunch break, often I see the same man on the corner. He’s got a good coat and boots, and a beard to rival Moses’s, but I know he’s still cold. Sometimes I give him monies. Sometimes I buy him a coffee.

Extraordinary Things Here:

#1 — I found out that if the coffee is for that man on the corner, it’s on the house. They provide him coffee regularly. People care. Doesn’t that make you smile?

#2 — A local car dealership bought him a bicycle. People really do care. Smile bigger.

You are unprepared for this next bit. Sit down.Β Brace yourself.

#3 — As I handed the man his coffee, a woman hopped out of her vehicle and ran wildly to him.
“Sir! Sir! We’ve brought you some clean water!”
He turned around, “Thank you. Thank you.”
“I know people probably give you a lot of coffee,” she looked right into my eyes, “but you really need water in this weather.”
I gave her some of my polite WTF blinking and a smile.

FROM UNDER WHAT BRIDGE DID THIS PHILANTHROPIC TROLL EMERGE?!?

did she just try to shame my generosity?!? bitch, please, you are a visitor here.

Obviously, I couldn’t even.

Of course it’s nice she gave him water. I’m certain he needs water. Whether he would be able to drink all two gallons of it before it froze, I cannot say. Picture that. “Don’t drink water, kids. You’ll end up on the corner drinkin two gallons a day, suckin icicles from cars, and still Jonesin for fresh snow.”
Truly a downward spiral of addiction.

In a way, even with the wrong attitude but the right intention, it’d be spectacular if everyone tried to out-charity everyone else.

Imagine the escalation of that scenario.

I wonder if on his blog, he writes about us.
“Swate tay junkie came by again today, brought me another stupid coffee…”

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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76 Responses to Shame

  1. Dan Antion says:

    I’ve been chastised by the better the philanthropist before. The hell with her.

    I’m sure the guy likes water, needs water, appreciates water, but if the local coffee shop is giving him coffee, you know it’s because he likes coffee. Doing something nice is nice no matter what. Doing it with reasons that suit your own purpose (crazy water lady) diminishes the gift (in my opinion, but it’s all I have).

    I’m waiting for a friend to get ready so the two of us can walk for coffee. I know, I should drink water. I’m walking for coffee.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Hihih, I love love love it how you end this. But the whole episode is such a sign of the times. You were right, I was unprepared.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A person like that, known to the local coffee purveyors, is often someone who can’t, for whatever reason, accept more help at this point in his life. Do what you can – and let the water lady do what she can. Her words were regrettable, and her attitude gives us pause, but she isn’t really doing anything better than you are. I’m sure the gentleman can get water. I agree on the WTF! I don’t like coffee. If you see me in that position, hot chocolate? Sugar-free sweetener, please, and extra cream (low carb diet). I feel for those who have to take charity when they shouldn’t be eating half the things they are offered.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I concur, the cheapest choices are not the best for health, but doing something, anything, is better than nothing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You did.

        ‘Healthiest’ varies subjectively. Sometimes people have had very bad experiences at shelters, for example, and refuse to go to one – and they can’t even articulate why the very idea is so stresful to them (and have way too long experience of not being believed). Other people want to ‘fix’ them, quickly, THEIR way. But the people like this have often learned that if they just keep saying NO, they can continue to live on the street. Very sad cases – but I can see where they’re coming from. And have no idea how to help, either.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. loisajay says:

    I read his blog. That is exactly what he said. Here’s a toast to you, Joey. **raises glass of water** πŸ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

    • Ha, that’s what I was going to say. πŸ™‚ He needs them both: water for his health, coffee for his soul. So you’ve both helped. As for sweet tea, I couldn’t drink that unless it stood between me and death. It’s the sweet part I can’t handle. Tea I love. And coffee has to be adulterated, such as mocha or cappuccino, for me to drink it. Not doing any drink shaming here, just telling it like it is in my drink world. I’m happy to read that the coffee shop is helping him out as well as the local car dealership with the bicycle. Good news as well as a good laugh to keep my morning rolling along well. Thanks for that and have a wonderful weekend.

      janet

      Liked by 2 people

  5. We all have vices. You’d run out of space if we listed them all. πŸ™‚ Doing something nice for someone can never be wrong. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Benson says:

    Someone ought to remind that self righteous twit that coffee is water. With flavor and stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Susanne says:

    I love your slant on life, Joey. Keep doin’ good and feeling good about it. Poo on the self-righteous. Hooray to kindness in all its forms.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Carrie Rubin says:

    Just when I think I’ve heard it all. Charity-shaming. That one’s a head-scratcher for sure. πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ally Bean says:

    Wow! And to think you were only doing a nice deed. Makes me wonder how that woman reacts to people who aren’t doing nice deed. Does she criticize them as vehemently as she did you? Inquiring minds need to know…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Laura says:

    πŸ˜‚
    I love your attitude, swate tay junkie!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. JT Twissel says:

    I would have told her to lighten up. Some people.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. scr4pl80 says:

    OMG Joey, I was shamed by my own husband the other day. He has SUCH a big heart. He recently came across a homeless man who was sleeping under an overpass down the street from us and he brought him some food from Wendys. A few days later he went through our food stock and brought him a pouch of tuna, some crackers and a few other odds and ends like toilet paper and paper towels. As he was telling me about this I must have given him a look because he said “I can tell this bothers you.” It was like a slap in the face because I realized it DID bother me. Not because he was giving our things away, but because I was thinking that he was getting more and more involved in this guy’s life and I projected into the future where he lets the guy come into our house and use the shower or something. I tried to explain that to my husband but he pointed out that he didn’t even know the guys name and all he was trying to do was help him out a little, giving him water and things that we take for granted. I felt like a total inhumane bitch. Keep giving your coffee!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      You know, Janet, I appreciate your honesty. Sometimes things need to happen to shock us into self-discovery, and I thank you for sharing.
      One thing I hate is how I feel like I could always do more to help, but the risks…

      Liked by 1 person

  13. larva225 says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! “Philanthropic troll!!” That’s the best.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. orbthefirst says:

    I know I just hate it when folks are better than me because of their inborn ability to be an asshat. You shouldve asked her if that water was organic, just to prove a point. I wouldve.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. pluviolover says:

    She was a bitchtized member of that anti-coffee, water-drinkin’, cult i been hearin’ about.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pistachios says:

    Your methadone analogy is excellent. Better have some more of that sweet tea to keep you out of trouble!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Jewels says:

    Wow… I would’ve given that lady more than WTF blinking…

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Tell me, Jewels, I’m still stunned. What would you have said or done?

      Like

      • Jewels says:

        To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have come up with anything additional to say or do in that moment, the nerve of some people! She could have just given him the water without any further comment disapproving of the coffee you just gave him, but she obviously has a superiority complex and I doubt anything said would have gotten through to her. I wonder if that self-righteous, charity-shaming lady would be willing to do for this man what he actually truly “really needs”?

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          Well dang, lol! We’ve had several harsh weather and snowstorm days since, and I haven’t seen her, or signs of her water contributions. Meanwhile, the regulars continue to help.

          Liked by 1 person

  18. JoAnna says:

    I’m a big fan of clean water, but would never push it on anybody. She has control issues. I know because, “you spot it, you got it.” Coffee can make my control issues worse. But if I’m careful, and just drink a little bit, I dance! I’m sure the coffee was appreciated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I know the coffee is appreciated. Sometimes I give him a nod as I drive by, so he knows I’ll get him some, and he always smiles.
      Sorry you spotted it. I have control issues about certain things, but I’ve never tried to guilt anyone for a kindness, lol!
      I’m glad a lil coffee makes you dance πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Joanne Sisco says:

    Just one more example of how some people feel the need to be a shit. Good grief, even sitting here thinking about it, I’m still at a loss for words for an appropriate comeback.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Amy says:

    I don’t understand the need to be rude. Did she want him to say her gift was more appreciated?! She could have said, “I thought you might like some water. Here you go.” Period. End of Story. Why dig at somebody else doing a kindness? I’m still in shock.
    As far as the McDont’s Swate Tay addiction… I don’t have it, don’t like the sweetness…but my mom has the same addiction from the same place. When we were in Scotland, she was having withdrawals and suggested we pop in to the McD’s in Edinburgh just to see it they served it. They don’t. She doesn’t drink coffee, but she made do with hot chocolate for the sugar and caffeine fix during our time away. lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Anxious Mom says:

    What the absolute fuck?! All that’s missing is her holding her selfie stick videoing her good deed that trumps other good deeds to share on Facebook.

    I do the same with sweet tea. When I get that at McDonald’s or CFA, I always give myself a pat on the back for making healthier choices. When I get unsweetened tea and put Splenda in it, I feel like I’ve made a Jesus level sacrifice.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Jami Carder says:

    Bitch please πŸ˜‚
    I love that you are kind and compassionate and bitchy. It totally works for youπŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I can’t believe that woman, she sounds really up herself! I am sure that your coffee was very much appreciated and it was really kind of you to get it for him. Some people!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Hahahah, loved this, thanks for the laughs! πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  25. ROFL!!! I’m laughing out loud. This is brilliant. Funny, poignant, and real. I just want to hang with you every. fuckin. day! Funkin is my all time favorite swear word. Imagine my horror and deflation when my Dad informed me it WAS NOT my generation that invented that word. Parents! Such Kill Joys!

    That woman–Social Justice Warrior much? YES! Gaul I loath them.

    We had a homeless guy in our neighborhood for years when we first bought our house. He had a shopping cart full of stuff, good coat, shoes, but always looked hungry and he hung out by Taco Bell. I asked for a separate tab to buy him a meal and the teen that was ringing me up said Oh, don’t worry we feed XXXX everyday.
    I’m a skeptic so the next time I went in I bought extra and bagged it up and gave it to him myself.
    I did that whenever I saw him. He was always so gracious. He’s gone now. I hope to a better place.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. darsword says:

    I’m glad I know you. That is a special thing you did. I don’t think that overgiving or too much kindness is a bad thing. Maybe the lady didn’t mean to say it like she did. That guy is lucky that two humans did their best for him. Hopefully, the light you both gave him will help him find his way to somewhere warm and loving where he can find a way to give back to others. I don’t think anyone ever wants to be in that position. But we all find ourselves in the receiving end, the place of humbleness, and we hope to be gracious in the receiving and the giving. May the world be full of gracious givers of food, drink, and other acts of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Luanne says:

    I love this story. I guess humans are competitive in every endeavor!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Diplomacy. Yeah. Even in the joy of giving some have to put others down. Wow. That cancels the entire act of kindness right out. Imagine what must have been going through this man’s mind. Now it warmed my Heart greatly knowing that there are people in this world who do care and who extend a hand in help. Yes. But it is the way this woman went about giving this man water …. Yes he needs water too, that is a given but don’t make out like your coffee is a poor comparison according to the list of priorities for this man’s welfare. Dang! You’ve got a good Heart, Ms. Joey! πŸ˜‡

    Liked by 1 person

  29. kirizar says:

    Is it the nippy weather that has us all waxing poetic about steamy beverages or is it just me? I had to laugh when I came over to your site to see you too are bit by the tea bug. Though, perhaps, you are a cold sweet tea junkie and we just cannot stand on common grounds! (Or dregs. Whatever you call the damp remains of a teabag…besides disgusting.) Cheers and sod the do-gooders who look down upon a good cup of tea. Particularly a free one.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I drink hot tea a lot, more in winter, and mostly in the evening. Chamomile is my go-to at work, but sweet teas are more an occasional, “You can make it through this day!” lol

      Liked by 1 person

  30. bikerchick57 says:

    Joey, you are kind to give that man coffee or sweet tay or whatever he accepts. If I were standing on the corner, cold, I’d much prefer a hot beverage. That woman would have been better off to give him a container of hot chicken soup than water that’s going to freeze…just sayin. Anyhoo, I’m late visiting your blog so I hope you are having a good week with the tea and everything else.

    Like

  31. prior.. says:

    well I have some catching up to do – and glad I landed here while poking around.

    compassionate, but bitchy?
    maybe – I’d also add real, and socially intelligent – oh and confident – not to stroke the ego here – but that is what I always sense.
    and the lady with the water – it seemed like a competitive spirit to me – and I hate that. Well at first i thought she was going to come up and scold you for giving him money – cos some folks like to do that when it is none of their business what we choose to do.
    and also, had to laugh cos a long time ago I gave a homeless guy my Nalgene water bottle – have had many great replacements since then – but that one was my most fav ever and well – once we discussed how a homeless person might not even want a high-end reusable bottle – he took it – but not something he would likely use – and I always think coffee – or tea- would be much more appreciated (and has water content in it).
    A few weeks ago, my hubs offered his water bottle to a homeless guy – and he uses the big ‘ol Nalgene ones – and the guy told him, “NO thanks” well first my hubs offered him trail mix (no cash on him) and the guy said he had bad teeth – but the no thanks to the water bottle ties into your story a bit.
    and so inspiring to read1 and 2 – how awesome

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I keep hearing about these Nalgene bottles, I had to go Google them. Now that I see them, I realize these are the ‘cool’ bottles all the kids want. It’s always something. lol I’m fond of my Ello glass bottle, pink plastic outside. I am not cool. lol
      I feel like that guy on the corner is a nice guy. I don’t know why he’s out there, that’s not my business, but a lot of people seem to care for him and he seems genuine.
      When I’m out in the cold, I like to have hot beverages just to make me feel warm for a few seconds. I can only hope he feels the same.
      I’m glad you sense my confidence, and of course I’m real πŸ™‚ Thanks so very much!

      Liked by 1 person

      • prior.. says:

        Actually the Ello glass bottle sounds like one step higher from the Nalgene
        and the only thing I do not like about my glass bottle is that it is hard to wash (too thin) and so if I ever put vitamin c powder and olive oil in there – and maybe a lemon slice – sounds gross – but super fortifying at times – well I cannot get mine clean.
        and guess what??
        my yoga teacher and I found this thrift store that sells bins of misc crap – and they have lots of high-end water bottles – for way cheap – we boil them and then when we lose them (cos you know that these are high-lose items – lol) well not a lot of $ is lost.
        __
        and I also love a hot bev in the cold – and make a tea for the road on commutes.
        and yeah – I know what you mean that it is not our biz to ask “why” they are out there – and some do not really seem put off or bothered – almost like their choice. And I am just glad to connect with them – like you

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          I put white vinegar and water in my water bottle and shake it to ‘wash’ it, but to be fair, I also never put anything but water in it πŸ™‚
          Those water bottle losses remind me of sunglasses. Pay a lot for sunglasses, lose em, break em, they get stolen. Buy a cheap pair, have em ten years! lol

          Liked by 1 person

          • prior.. says:

            omg – exactly – and this is why I never pay too much for sunglasses – that is exactly the scenario
            ha

            (and thanks for the tip on washing the glass water bottles – I sometimes use borax water – and I think I might get a baby bottle brush cleaner for this one…-

            Liked by 1 person

  32. I love this post. My vice is cannabis, and I’m trying to get over it, but it’s a bitch. Sigh, my vision of success requires healthy foods, no caffeine :(, and no weed. Shit I’ve accomplished 0/3

    Like

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