Still hate the block editor, not gonna lie. It keeps me from posting even when I think about posting, which isn’t all too often. I do have over 100 drafts saved.
Let’s see, what’s new with me? Ally Bean asked me that, and I kinda gotta say, nothin. Nothin is new. But y’all haven’t read me in over a year, so sure, somethin may well be new to you.
I am a much less anxious person than when I started this blog. I believe that the blog helped, the readers especially, thank you, and that also, this healing likely contributes to my lack of blogging. My mind is overall less… crowded? I do still sometimes freak out in large shopping venues, but I am aware it’s because I have anxiety disorder and I generally believe I will make it out alive. I am no longer forced to play pretend like I’m some normal cookie-cutter mom while mingling with other parents from schools, and that helps me retain energy. I still don’t like driving, especially in the rain, especially in the rain at night, but I manage, for I am very brave. I have long hated roundabouts and this did not improve when, in February, some asshat crashed his truck into Blanche as we roundabouted. I do still absolutely avoid roundabouts whenever possible, and I feel no shame in turning right to avoid turning left.
My office is 10-15 minutes away WHEN OUR ENTIRE CITY IS NOT UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND MY RAMP IS OPEN, but at present, it’s 25-40 in a congested hellscape. I drive like I’m trying to stay alive and intact from place to place and I am not convinced everyone else is. In my mind, they’re in a car chase movie scene, in labor, or about to shit their pants?
I am presently an empty-nester. I say presently, because you never can tell. We have lived with my in-laws on two separate occasions. Remember that summer Bubba lived in our living room?
Anyway, our house is clean and it’s quiet and all those people who said preposterous things like, “You’ll miss this when they’re gone” were simply wrong. We do miss the kids, which is why we spend time with them, but then we return to, or are again, back in our clean and tidy, quiet little home. All the good chi are belong to us.
The Mister had our old red van towed away. We rented a dumpster. We damn near filled the dumpster. If you have never had the pleasure of throwing and breaking things into a dumpster, I mean, give yourself this gift! Cathartic.as.fuck. The Mister began assembling a home gym in the garage. I gave my bathroom a makeover and then gave the big bathroom a makeover. I repainted the living room. The Mister built bookshelves. I painted those, too. We painted Sassy’s old room to suit Moo. The Mister hung window cornices in our bedroom. He gave me the ENTIRE closet. We bought more blackout curtains. I got one of those light up clocks that tells my brain to wake up before the alarm and it works! We bought a cat tree and our cats don’t use it. We had fiber optic internet installed. Then we moved The Mister’s desk into the “spare” room so he has an official office space. I’ll paint it Someday.
Next year, my efforts will be outside in our yard, now more commonly known as The Land that Time Forgot.
The Mister and I have taken a handful of long weekends and day trips. Packing for these couple travels truly makes me giddy. Flash to me, with my one bag!
Otherwise, The Mister and I are fond of lazy weekend days built around the scheduled nothingness we relish.
We remain enamored with our spawn who now range 19-30. Like they’re now so self-sufficient, we’re fucking honored when asked to teach or advise them. Bubba took a rather big boy job downtown – I really don’t know. IT something. He bought himself an adventure bike, and spends a fair amount of time camping and hiking. He also built a guitar from scratch. Growing up with three sisters was so terrible, his only respite is living with two women. Sissy remains distant, about a thousand miles away, literally and figuratively, but reports wellness of all. Sassy left uni and took an apartment she likes and a job she does not like. She is enjoying being young and free. I was never a wild young person, but still I reserve judgment, because many of my friends were are were-are wild whereas I am fully acclimated to being uncool and apologizing for being square. Moo is still at uni and has narrowed her course of study to audiology. She works as a researcher in her department. We’re pretty stoked since none of us are doctors and The Mister’s selective hearing skills only grow better with age.
My own career path has been chaotic and floopy, not unlike my early romantic life. People who have dated and worked longer than me, do you think there’s a plausible theory here? Fun but going nowhere, toxic maybe even abusive, charming to the point of disillusionment. A lil woo n pitch, a lil bait n switch. Navigate and course correct. Silent conversations with yourself about how no amount of flowers and jewelry make it all okay. I see these things similarly. I’ve been at my present job a year this month and it feels like marriage material.
On that note, apparently this period of my life rivals my mid-twenties in terms of weddings. Love is in the air! Many of our friends are recently wed or engaged. I find their happiness contagious! We celebrated 24 years in August and what I remember about that day is that neither of us could finish dessert, but oh, there are a million memories going back, back, back to 1987.
Save this spot.
joeyfullystated 
I am ‘tickled pink’ to see your name pop up here. I have missed you so!
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I am grateful for your tickled pinkness, thank you!
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Joey is back!!!! Happy dance time! Isn’t empty nest great?! I can so appreciate what you say about your house being clean and quiet. Yes, ma’am. Also, about the cat houses that the cats don’t use. And scratch pads, too.
It is so good to see you here.
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I tell ya, I had two kitties long ago as a single lady, and I had a cat tree and a cat condo, and a spinny circle ball thing and scratch pads, and those kitties gave zero figs, and I was forever deterred from investing. But then, Sassy’s kitten was here and Bubba’s kitty was here, and they have trees and the lot, and our kitties played on their things, and then we bought the things and they give zero figs. I mean?!?! Joke’s on me!
Thank you Lois, thank you.
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Damn girl you can write! I have missed you.
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Damn that’s a great compliment from you, thank you! 🙂
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Will write later – WELCOME BACK!!!
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Whew! Am I so glad to see your post. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary.
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Hello and thank you!
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Wow – busy year. You didn’t even mention the effect on all of us of having a pandemic going on – we saw our offspring last year for a vacation, but I don’t know if it will happen this year, as we let them pick the week and the place, and then work from there, and the three of them have NOT done the week-picking.
I’m TRYING to write Book 3 – LIMBO. The structure is ALMOST letting itself be pinned down.
I’ve missed your cheerful and varied posts, written a few more on my blogs. Living in California has been a bit different from New Jersey, but we’re okay, and the retirement community is full of great people, though we don’t have dinner as often as prepandemic – no one seems to be wearing masks, and it makes me nervous. Just got RSV, Covid, and flu shots – and seem mostly recovered.
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I hope your health continues! After I wrote this post, I fell ill and missed all but 5 hours of work last week. (I tried, dedicated ox that I am.) Have returned this week before my work drowns me, but I’m still a bit askew. I would have said bad flu, because the muscle aches were KILLER. However, The Mister is testing positive for the plague…as did people in my office and their spouses, sooo… Anyway he’s working from home, so that’s the silver lining.
Thought of you every single time I was working in my yard this year. How Alicia said eventually it’s too much. I think next year we will determine if we need help from the pros. There’s time, spoons, and weather, and they all have to line up.
Love knowing you’re still writing 😀
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Sorry you probably got the plague.
It will kill me, so I avoided it, well, like the plague. So far.
You will enjoy your home and garden longer if you have SOME help, but also remember that if you don’t supervise them, the employees in these concerns are often not very knowledgeable – just young and vigorous – and your plantings will suffer. Tricky, knowing what and how much…
The owners often sound like they know what they’re doing, and some are fine, but other times they are like computers: they make many mistakes very fast.
I couldn’t do it any more – and miss the stupid job of weeding more than I could know – and all my daffodils, and everything planted for the hummingbirds and bees – but no longer could stand enough to gather those armfuls of beautiful flowers to bring inside. It was supremely unfair to expect husband to pick up all my chores and still do his…
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First… welcome back stranger! Nice to see you pop up on my feed again. And though you said you have nothing to report, you reported lots. Sounds like life is treating you well, which is grand to hear. And while I’m happy you’re happy, I selfishly hope you’ll find time to blog again.
😉
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Thank you! I intend to find time. The plague got me last week, but things are looking up 🙂
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Oh no! Hope you have a mild case…
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Better than the five weeks last time, mmhm. Only 9 days this time. Thanks!
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Ugh. Your second bout? Sorry…
I won’t mention that it hasn’t found me yet.
😉
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No no, you revel in that. You delight in it and savor it in case it doesn’t last. Orrr, may you always be asymptomatic! 😛
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Yes, it’s on, and it’s nice to hear from you. 🙂 It sounds like everyone is well and you have embraced the empty nest period. The interesting thing your young folks are experiencing is the lack of affordable housing so always keep an open bed. 🙂 Sorry to hear about Blanche, and I appreciate your driving comments. Our police forces are so short staffed that when I see a red light, it’s not like you can assume people will stop because in most cases 1-4 will still go through the red light assuming others will stop for them. Scary as heck. As for speed, they ought to just cross through ‘maximum’ because that has become the new minimum. Hope you enjoy your outdoor adventures next year as much as you did your indoor improvements. Just avoid the bees. 🙂
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Thanks! YOU KNOW IT’S FUCKFACE YELLOW JACKET TIME RIGHT NOW, right? Yep.
No kidding on the delay before moving through an intersection on the green! I feel like after the lockdown, driving etiquette and general law-abiding dropped considerably.
We shall maintain ONE, Ah, ONE guest room. They’ll need to take turns having crises, or whatever, or they’ll truly feel like kids again.
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Good to have you back! I missed your humor and fun! Hugs!
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Thank you kindly 🙂
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I missed reading this blog. Sounds like you have plenty going on around you. I am currently writing a college age character, and audiology is one of his interests. He’s having a hard time nailing down a career path.
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Thanks! Moo has interesting and unusual ear canals, some experience with ASL, and a strong medical leaning (years of biomed prior to uni) but thinks med school is too much. She does seem happy. Maybe your character will find a path he enjoys.
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I think he will, but he’s fictional. I hope your daughter finds a path she loves.
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Hi Joey! I’ve seen you on Insta occasionally so I knew you were still out there but it is wonderful to read this recap. We are NOT empty nesters although our youngest did move into her own apartment. We have a friend who moved into that room because he was basically homeless and living in his car – not a fun prospect for someone in their 70’s. We also have our son living here (age 35) and that is a source of a lot of issues for my hubby, not me. I love hearing about families who have adult children coming back for a while and making it work (I remember the Bubba summer). Look forward to reading more of your adventures when you feel like sharing!
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Whoa, full house much?! Bubba summer was weird. lol We all need a lil support now and again, best to help as we’re able.
I look forward to writing 🙂
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I got dizzy reading about all that has happened to us. It is a fun ride. You are the best!
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No, you’re the best!
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I’ve missed you so it’s great to have you return! As you did, we enjoyed our children greatly, still enjoy them, and enjoy our two-some home without them. We’re on to one grandchild now and southern California is just a 6 1/2-7 hour drive away. We raised our girls to grow up, move out, and live their own lives and they have. Mission accomplished.
Sounds as thought the two of you are doing well and with your efforts, the house is doing well too. Onward to the yard! I’m sure there will be some stories from that effort!
Welcome back and good luck with the traffic situation! 😦
janet
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Hi, thanks! I reckon you’ve relocated much further west than Illinois now. Stories from the yard make me glad the fall is upon us, as I get to rest quite a bit before the toil 🙂
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Not so much west, but more south, to Arizona
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What an absolute treat to see your name in my inbox. I had to look twice and think. It’s late so I had to think hard. It’s great to see a post from you. I hope there are more to follow, but I’d say you’re now committed to at least one a year.
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Thanks so much! I’d like to recommit to posting. As soon as I blogged, I fell ill, and lost a week of my life to what now seems to be the plague (The Mister is positive and 3 days behind me, as are some of my colleagues.)
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Ugh, I am sorry to hear that. We miss you, but we want you to be well. I’ve been sick for four days with a sinus thing. I swear it was designed by the people who make kleenex to sell more product. Take care (and pass that on to the Mister).
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If this wasn’t a sight for sore eyes! Welcome back! Occasionally I’d drop by to see if you had posted something that I missed, but nope… anyway, sounds like life is treating you well. Look forward to more from you!
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Hey! It’s great to see you as well, thanks!
I’ll write more soon.
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This post reminds me how much I enjoyed your writing. Keep it up!
I have been meaning to blog about my hatred of roundabouts for ages now. Maybe this is the kick in the pants I needed.
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Thank you kindly! You absolutely must write about roundabouts, as I did many years ago, as they are pure evil even when people aren’t smashing me in them.
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My joey is back! I missed you SO HARD! I’m very glad you and The Mister are enjoying your empty nest with privileges. Charlie and I did, too. Did you know Amazing now lives next door to me? I get to see her almost every evening! She and I are still entranced with Black Violin, to whose music you introduced us. Love you, gal! ❤ ❤ ❤
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I miss you ferreal. So much, sometimes I think I see you, or your car, or you. I did NOT know Amazing has become your neighbor! How fabulous is that? Black violin rocks! Love you lots ❤
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Hi Joey! So glad to see you here again and learn that your life has been going in the direction of yes. Life should always come before the blog. I have no such excuse. In my life changes are zero, and yet I barely find enough power to keep posting Thursday Doors (along with the monthly calendar post and the last photo of the month). Just… started to feel like a chore. Hanging in for now but barely. I wish you more long weekends and trips and little joys. So glad to hear that the blog, and all of us, helped.
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Thank you very much, it’s nice to be missed by people I miss. I don’t think I’ll ever be a daily blogger again, but I PLAN TO BLOG and return to Thursday Doors on occasion. There’s really nothing wrong with taking a break, like anything else. Give yourself grace.
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I have missed you, hello.
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Thank you! Hello 🙂
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I’m so happy that you left a comment on my post so that I was prompted to check to see if you’ve returned to blogland… and you have! I missed your writing and the unique way you look at the world. Stick around this time, won’t you?
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Thank you. Will make concerted effort to be more here than not. Am ready.
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Yay for an update!!!! Empty nesting could also account for some anxiety let up IMO. I’ve got one back with his wife, so two plus one bun and a dog, so really FOUR, and it’s GREATLY increased my anxiety. Roundabouts, by the way, are the devil. So it’s not you. It’s asshats who design and implement them.
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You have a different photo so I didn’t recognize you at first, until I saw the Avatar decription and immediately knew who you were! I remember Moo and was calculating how old she was then. My twins are now 6 and time is flying too fast. Good to hear you’re feeling more peaceful. As for work + toxic, they seem to go together in this corner of the world, too. Welcome back! (100 drafts is a lot, btw!)
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So kind. To me, you also have a new picture! Hah! Thanks for stopping by! I’ll be over soon 🙂
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Oh boy, Joey, I am so sorry I missed your post. Goes to show you how terrible I’ve been at checking up on you. Glad you bobbed your head out of the sea of life and caught us all up on what’s been happening at Casa Joey/Mister. You have a wonderful family, wonderful kids, and I’m happy that you and the Mister now have your own space with some peace and quiet.
As you know, I traveled this past summer with biking buddy to Ohio and we both had to endure the interstate travel, too many semis, and road construction craziness from Milwaukee to past Indy. Biking buddy was driving, but I was the one having a few bouts of anxiety. I used to be much more fearless driving the interstates, but perhaps age has taken some of that away.
It is only January and I am also thinking of spring and being outside and planting flowers and such. Is winter over yet?
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