They Take Over Everything

Children take over your whole life, they take over everything. Particularly when they are home on Winter break, followed by a WEEK of snow days.

A few recent examples:

While Moo contends she did not eat chili while sitting upon my white duvet, she could possibly concede that she may have, in fact, had a bit of chili on her hands. Or her face. Or somethin.

As I sat in the tub, Moo peeled the shower curtain back and asked me, “Mama, are you in the tub? You know what my friend did?”
“Let her mother bathe in peace?” I asked in reply.
“No, she went sledding!”



When Sassy was asked to take cookies out of the oven, I reminded her to wear oven mitts. She laughed at me, and said, “Of course! Gosh, Mama! Like I would forget oven mitts!” *HarHarHarSnort* She wore only one oven mitt, and burnt her forearm instead of her hands.

While they know what doormats are for, (toddlers love to stomp) I discovered they have no wisdom regarding why we have indoor rugs just inside the door, so weeks ago, I stopped the girls and explained the purpose of those rugs is to catch debris, or perhaps even snow, at the door.
I’ve stopped caring.
They’ll never go back to school.
I will never mop again.
My poor nephew was completely puzzled as to why I didn’t care if he didn’t brush off his snow and take off his shoes.
“It’s okay, Ace, I’ll never ever, ever mop again. Go ahead.”
His expression said, “Is this a trick, Aunt Joey?”
“No, no, it’s fine. I’ve already lost my mind, darling boy.”

I spend about an hour a day saying the same things:
I don’t care whose it is, pick it up.
Did I ask you?
Watch your tone.
Clean up your mess.
Just do it.
Be nice to your sister.

Moo: Angela Washington doesn’t live here. You’re a wrong number. Hang on, here’s my mama.
Me: No, Angela Washington doesn’t live here.
Moo: Hey, Maybe they can find her on the Facebook!
Me: Yes, Dear.
Caller: Is Angela Washington connected to you on Facebook?
Me: No Sir.

Both girls have seen fit to lose teeth over break, because as you know, the Tooth Fairy has no opportunity to go to the ATM. I asked Sassy if she wanted to wait, or if she wanted five euros. She’ll wait.

Today I took the Christmas tree down.

Yeah, well, I wanted to take the tree down on Epiphany, like a normal person, but I had this plan which involved loud music and mimosas, and perhaps most specifically, no children. School has been canceled for the entire week, foiling my mimosa day, extending it one day away, and another, and another…

i just wanna drink & drink & drink

i just wanna drink & drink & drink

So…I took it down today.
Guess what? They’ve taken over my Christmas tree, too.

clara takes it over every year

clara takes it over every year

You see, since we’ve been a family, we’ve made one of our traditions letting each child collect another ornament for the tree. The idea was, like my mother did with me, they’d leave the house with enough ornaments to fill a tree. My mother even got in on it, and for years, sent them a collection of ornaments.
Small oversight: I was an only. I have four kids. Oopsies.
Additionally, they’ve been gifted ornaments as well as made some. So when I took the ornaments off the tree today, I divided them into piles for each child. Forget boxing them up when they’ve made their own nests! Now is the time! This is the year!

I discovered that I actually only own a whopping seventeen ornaments now. First, there was the box of my heirloom ornaments that never made it to Georgia, and then there were mishaps due to cats, dog, and well, children, of course.



It snowed s’more today. The principal was nice enough to let us know there would be no school tomorrow.
I’m headed into a very long weekend, y’all.

But look at the pretty ornament Drew made me for Christmas in my new house!

i can't fit in there, and i know it's quiet inside...

i can’t fit in there, and i know it’s quiet inside…

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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15 Responses to They Take Over Everything

  1. Myas says:

    Love it! My kids are both grown but I remember…


  2. LindaGHill says:

    And I thought I had it bad having mine home for one extra day!

    How old are all your kids? I seemed to have lost track of a couple I think.

    You can come to my place for mimosas if you’d like. My tree’s long gone, but what the hell.


  3. Ugh, Ace has had 7 fucking snow days!!! And euros? Duvets? I thought you were a Hoosier?


  4. Ohhh I just love your posts! They always make me giggle 🙂


  5. Sherry says:

    you remind me that my life is soooooo relaxed even when I think it’s not. But you would not trade them for the world either…and that’s sweet, and hey, you’re becoming a blogging fool! lol


  6. Kat's Den says:

    One year it was March before the tree came down. The kids were younger and I just couldn’t get to it. And the longer I put it off, the easier it got to put it off.


  7. Miss Lou says:

    LOL I absolutely relate!! The conversations that have taken place with regard to following through on helping to clean up – that almost exact same conversation took place less than 12 hours ago!!


    Thanks for sharing!



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