I saw an ad for free plants this morning, so I hurried, groomed and Googled, even leaving with my hair wet.
I was so excited for free plants! Particularly since one of them was 7-8 feet tall, and I have this barren corner in my entryway, which is just screaming for a plant! Hurray!
So I talka Siri. You remember, I checked Google maps before talking to Siri, because sometimes, that Siri is a bit harebrained. She couldn’t find it, but I was thoughtful and typed it in so that she could relate. She gave me the same directions as Google. So off I went down the pike, headed to the interstate, on my journey to free plants.
“In 2.1 miles, take Exit 49 and turn left.”
I took Exit 49 and turned left.
And then, that harebrained bitch told me to turn left to get back onto the interstate I had just come off of!
“Oh, look, a McDonald’s!”
“Continue to route.”
“No. Coke first.”
“Continue to route.”
I muted Siri and called my husband.
I was out of my familiar territories. *slurp*
But! I am not directionally challenged, so I decided if my husband could just confirm my heading north on Post Road, I’d be headed toward Beech Grove. *slurp*
Well, he checked the map, and I was right, of course. As soon as I passed that interstate ramp, Siri was suddenly able to tell me to go north on Post Road. And I was thinking, “Good grief, Siri, could we not have taken Post Road south to get here in the first damn place?!?”
Beautiful day for a drive! Sixty and partly sunny. Just glorious.
When I arrived, all the plants were gone. I was about 15 minutes too late. Thanks, Siri.
I took a lovely scenic drive all over the eastside today. Used only secondary roads, lotsa stop lights and traffic. Stopped at the grocery. Still faster than Siri’s harebrained directions.
Just remember, even though the voice of Siri is a brunette, actual Siri is blonde. A bossy blonde who has never driven a vehicle. If you tell her the address and she can’t find it, do not type it in. Just let it go. The plants are all gone anyway.
Maybe I should ask her where I can get a nice silk fig tree for that corner…